


Irrefutably Yours

by Coriander1975



Category: Undertale
Genre: Anxiety, Can't believe I'm still updating this, Cheesy, Cuddles, Developing Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, Gaster Needs a Hug, Gaster is a cinnamon roll, It was supposed to end at 20 chapters, M/M, No Smut, Other, PTSD, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Reader is a sinnamon roll, Suggestive, Tags are updated as i go along, mentions of suicide and self harm, non skeletal gaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 21:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 66
Words: 87,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6131446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coriander1975/pseuds/Coriander1975
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series detailing your blossoming relationship with everyone's favorite former royal scientist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The exposition! You start at your new job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2017 edit: I'm rereading this a year later and wow, my writing style's changed a lot. The quality for this fic isn't great compared to some of my more recent works, so please excuse the awkward writing >_>

You awoke exactly three minutes before your alarm was supposed to go off, feeling well rested and refreshed- for once. Thank heaven for small favors. Despite this pleasant start to your day, you couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had been looming over you for the past week. Leaning over to grab your phone, you squinted groggily at the latest two text messages. They were from your best friend.

"Good luck at the new job!" it read. "You'll do just fine," read the next.

No matter your recently earned degree in Mechanical Engineering, you still didn't feel prepared for your impending responsibilities. The lab you'd be working at specialized in many fields of science, and took in people of all backgrounds and skill levels. Hopefully, they'd go easy on you at first.

You couldn't deny that there was some excitement hidden behind your anxiety. "All backgrounds" included all species. You'd surely be working with a few monsters, the race which had come flocking to the surface only a few months ago. You held none of the hostility towards monsterkind that some humans raged with, but you were definitely a little apprehensive. Sure, they seemed nice enough, but some of them looked downright...frightening.

It probably didn't help that your first impression of a monster had been particularly intimidating. Not in the way he acted- on the contrary, he was very polite. Perhaps even a bit shy. It was the way he looked that made you nervous. He was, to put it simply,  _huge._ If you had to guess, you'd say he was around eight feet tall. His skin was ghostly pale, standing in great contrast to the black, jagged scars that splintered down from his left eye to the corner of his mouth and up from his right eye to the back of his head. The scleras of his eyes were pitch black, the irises a bright purple. If you had to choose one word to describe them, demonic would likely come to mind. Truthfully, your neighbor was not the most approachable looking person you'd ever seen.

However, you'd never been one to judge solely by appearance. He lived three apartments down the hall from yours. You'd watched him emerge weekday mornings with his oddly long fingers wrapped around the handle of a black briefcase, presumably to go to his place of work. You were reluctant to approach him at first but, in an attempt to both be nice and to satisfy your curiosity, you'd given him a timid smile and a quiet "Good morning," as you passed in the hallway one day. It took him a moment to respond, but when he'd realized the gesture was indeed directed towards him he returned it kindly, albeit awkwardly. His voice was deep, slightly raspy, and much quieter than you'd expected. It almost sounded hoarse from disuse. That was the extent of your your interaction. From that point on you weren't afraid of him, yet you couldn't think of anything else to do. You were never the greatest at making new friends. Your neighbor didn't seem likely to make any attempts either, though he never failed to return your greetings when you gave them. Maybe someday you'd get a chance to talk more. Though you weren't very concerned about it right now; the anxiety that came with this job took first priority.

After picking out a decent first-day outfit and forcing down some toast, you went through your mental checklist for what was possibly the millionth time. "Check in with the receptionist. Receive your nametag, and make sure you put it on right away. Meet up with your new lab-mates, and for fuck's sake don't say anything weird. Don't embarrass yourself. You can do this." With your willpower restored, you hurried out the door before it could fade. Your mysterious neighbor was nowhere to be seen. You were up much earlier than usual, after all. He probably wasn't even awake yet. Oh well. Once you exited the building, you got into your car and began the short drive to the lab.

Boy, was the building huge. Had it gotten bigger? It was a ridiculous thought, certainly brought on by your frazzled nerves, yet the imposing structure seemed to glare at you as you entered its doors. You did as you'd planned and got your name tag. The receptionist directed you to a room in the Engineering wing (duh) where you'd be working under a Doctor W. D. Gaster. Apparently, he was a renowned geothermal engineer and physicist. That sent a brief surge of panic through your chest. You didn't know anything about physics! Well, not that much. Seeming to smell your fear- like a blonde, cheerful bloodhound- the woman behind the counter offered some reassurance. "You're new here. All that's expected is that you contribute what you can," she said, smiling kindly. "I'm sure you'll learn a lot too. Education doesn't end after school, you know!"

"Right," you replied uncertainly. "Uh...thank you." With that, you shuffled away to room 237, your newly assigned lab. Sighing, you hoped you would be less uncomfortable with your new boss. Mentor? Whatever, this Doctor Gaster you'd be working under. You paused behind the closed door, steeling yourself, before gently pushing it open. Standing inside, scribbling away on a clipboard, was...your neighbor?

He looked up and froze. You both stared uncomfortably at each other for a few tense moments until you dared to break the silence. "...Doctor Gaster?"

He blinked in surprise before responding with a terse nod. He set his clipboard on the table before him. "I, ah, believe we've met before."

"Heh, sort of." You rubbed the back of your neck nervously. It had been difficult to tell from his one word responses in the hallway, but now you were certain of it: he had an English accent. How on earth does someone from the Underground sound European?

He suddenly looked away, an expression of shame flashing across his face. "You'll have to forgive me. All those times you've greeted me and I never even asked for your name."

"Oh- it's okay. I never really asked yours either." You fiddled with your badge for a moment, then stepped forward. "I'm _____. It's, uh, nice to meet you. Officially, I mean." You extended a hand. This is what people do when they meet, right?

To your relief, he shook it. You vaguely registered a strange texture where your hands met, like fabric, but didn't have time to look at them before he pulled away and clasped his hands behind his back. "Likewise." He smiled warmly. "I've heard great things about you from the department's interviewer. He said you were the top of your class. Engineering, correct?"

You flushed at the unexpected praise. "Oh, he did? And um...yeah."

"Wonderful! It's a fascinating field, one of my favorites. I look forward to our working together." He shifted from foot to foot in an endearingly childlike display of excitement. "Let me show you around the lab. It's important to know your workspace. Oh, and here-" He presented you with a neatly folded lab coat from a shelf beneath the table. "Allow me to give you your 'uniform' as it were. Since you're just starting, you aren't required to wear it, but it sure does make one feel official!"

Huh. He was...very friendly. You couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. You slipped the coat on and followed Gaster as he showed you the areas of the lab. As the day went on, your initial jitters began to subside. Maybe working here wouldn't be so bad after all.


	2. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more exposition stuff. You learn a little more about your new boss. Also, the chapter where the author really doesn't know much about science but will try to make it realistic as possible anyway.

By the end of the tour, you were completely at ease. Doctor Gaster's light attitude did wonders for your anxiety. You were even beginning to feel excited for the work to come. He showed you the blueprints for the project you'd be assisting him with: some sort of magical-electrical energy converter. It was to be a smaller version of something he called the "CORE".

"I can claim without hubris that it was my greatest creation. It provided energy for the entire Underground," he explained. "Of course, I didn't build it by myself. I had plenty of help from a wonderful team." He smiled at you warmly, almost sweetly. "I'm sure your assistance will be just as valuable."

That was, in fact, the seventh time he'd complimented you that day. Yes. You'd been counting. "...I'll do my best. So why are we building this one?"

"From what I understand, the surface is having trouble finding a renewable energy source, correct?"

You thought that over for a moment before answering. "I suppose. We've mostly been using fossil fuels, and those are going to run out eventually. Plus, they're not exactly great for the environment."

Gaster nodded in agreement. Apparently, that was just what he'd wanted to hear. "That is precisely what this machine may be able to fix. Magic in its purest form is similar to basic energy. Thus it cannot be created, but could easily be rerouted for a new purpose. If harnessed, it could potentially be used as a constant energy source. We already know that it can be converted to electrical energy, and such a system worked just fine for the Underground. This machine is an attempt to see how such conversion will work with human technology. If our small scale tests work, we could apply it to the entire building, and eventually the whole city!" He had begun motioning with his hands as his excitement grew. Catching himself, he cleared his throat and clasped his hands to keep them still. "But I mustn't get ahead of myself. We have a long ways to go before that."

You found yourself caught up in the vision he'd set before you. This was much more important than you'd expected. It could be world-changing. You flashed him a smile, hoping to keep his eager spark alive. "I guess we'd better get started then?"

"Yes! Right away! Here, look over the blueprints and tell me your thoughts."

"Sure thing, but I don't know how much help it'll be," you admitted, with an embarrassingly forced laugh. "You know a lot more than I do."

He replied without hesitation. "Nonsense. "I have more experience, yes, but there's no telling what a fresh mind like yours might hold. Never doubt yourself. I know we've only just met but-" he gave you that smile again; gentle, kind, and a little crooked. His right eye was closed more than the left, likely due to the scarring, and it made his smile slightly lopsided. It was kind of cute. "I feel that you have much to offer. You seem very intelligent. In fact, you'd have to be extremely bright to get this far." Scratch that, he was _very_ cute.

You blinked, unsure of how to respond. Eventually, you managed to mutter your thanks and huddled over the papers to hide your reddening face. Gaster didn't seem bothered by it. Rather, he chuckled and gave you some space to check his work.

You busied yourself in the carefully sketched designs. You noticed that while most of his notes were in English (his handwriting wasn't very neat, but it was at least legible), there were also some strange symbols scrawled here and there among the drawings. You pointed at the ones in the top right corner. "What are these?"

"Ah, that's a language of my own creation." He glanced at you sheepishly. "Wingdings."

You quickly put two and two together. "Wait...is that what the W.D. stands for?"

"Yes."

"You created a language...and named it after your own...name?" You quirked an eyebrow. "Not that that's unusual," you quickly added. "But also, why would you create your own language?"

His hands began twitching again as he spoke, though the movements were much more subtle this time. "W-well, it was a useful way to record information that only myself and my closest colleagues could understand. I'm, ah, not exactly a secretive person, but there were some projects in the Underground that..." His face fell almost imperceptibly, and his voice grew softer. "That were best kept quiet."

Clearly, you were unearthing some memories he'd rather not recall. "Oh. I'm...sorry for prying."

"It's quite alright. Please, never apologize for asking questions. It was a valid thing to be curious about, after all." He smiled again, though it didn't look at all like before. "Do go on."

"Right." You continued to pore over the blueprints. After a few minutes, you raised your head and voiced your opinion. "Looks cool. I mean-" You mentally cursed yourself. _Professional language_ , doofus. "It looks like it'll work just fine, as far as I can tell. The math is right and all. The only thing I'm concerned about is the cooling system." You pointed to the mentioned area. "I don't know how much heat magic generates, but with this current setup there could be some electrical fires."

"Hmm." Gaster leaned over to take a closer look. "You're right. I must have overlooked that." His regular grin was back, and what a relief _that_ was. You hadn't meant to bring him down before. "See, what did I tell you?" he beamed. "Your first day on the job and you're already doing great!"

"Heh, uh, thanks doc." He made no mention of the nickname, but only gave you that smile you were beginning to find adorable. Despite all the great progress, a part of you wondered how long this good luck could last.


	3. A Small Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader discovers Gaster's preferred method of travel.

The rest of the week went by quickly. You became engrossed in your work, finding it just enough of a challenge to be enjoyable. It definitely helped that your lab partner was an absolute joy to be around. He never got angry or raised his voice, even when you made a mistake (which happened more frequently than you'd like to admit). Rather, he would help you fix the problem without complaint. His mood was light, his tone cordial, and it put you at ease. It was a stark contrast with the harsh professors you'd dealt with in college.

You rarely saw Gaster in your apartment complex anymore. It didn't take you long to figure out that he got up much later than you. He also stayed after hours to work on additional projects. This was especially strange since, to your knowledge, he didn't own a car. In fact, you never saw him enter or exit from his apartment. You'd seen him do it before, back when you were still attending your classes. Now that you thought about it, he had seemed to almost...disappear after leaving the apartment complex. He was never spotted walking down the street or getting on a bus, he'd just walk out the door and was suddenly nowhere to be found. And now, he was always in the lab before you arrived. You weren't sure how to ask about it, and thus decided to let the issue go unquestioned.

This mystery solved itself as most do: totally by accident. Thursday evening, the receptionist from your first day mentioned that the building's cafeteria served muffins early in the morning. Everyone said they were _really_ good muffins. You'd have to get to work at least an hour ahead of time to get one. Never being one to pass up good food, you forced yourself out of bed at an ungodly hour on Friday and drove to work. The streets were calm, and the parking lot was nearly empty. Upon arriving at the cafeteria you were able to confirm your colleague's claims: these muffins were _amazing_. You'd have to find out who made them and get the recipe. After a moment's consideration, you took one for Gaster too. He'd been so welcoming, and it was the least you could do to return the favor. Hopefully he'd like cinnamon.

You sat down in your favorite swivel chair to wait for him, setting the muffin on the table. The minutes crept by, and it grew very close to the time you normally came in. Was he late? That didn't seem likely, you'd had him figured to be a very punctual-

You nearly jumped out of your skin when Gaster appeared by the table. There was a slight crackling noise, like TV static, before he popped into existence out of thin air. He hadn't noticed you yet as his eyes were fixed on a sheaf of papers in his hands. A squeak escaped your throat, drawing his attention. He blanched at the look on your face, nearly dropping the stack all over the floor.

"Goodness-! Ah, h-hello, _____. You're here early." He looked concerned. "Did I startle you?"

"Uh..." The words were proving difficult to string together. "How...how did you do that?"

"Well, ah..." He shifted uncertainly. "Magic? It's how I get here and back home every day."

"Oh. Well that's...pretty cool, actually. Can all monsters do that?"

Your reaction obviously caught him by surprise. "No, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who can. There are certain types of magic that are limited to a single species of monster, but I don't believe teleportation is one of them."

"Types of magic?" You leaned forward in interest, propping your head on both hands.

"Yes. I suppose it could be compared to the evolutionary traits of animals. Like a chameleon's ability to change its color." He looked positively giddy as he talked. "I've been watching nature documentaries since I got a subscription to...Netflix, I believe it's called? Some of the creatures on the surface are absolutely fascinating. There were reptile-like monsters in the Underground, but I never met one with the capability to-" He paused and stilled his moving hands. "Ah, forgive me. You asked about magic."

You hadn't minded his little tangent, but nodded for him to continue anyway.

"Well, there are many types of monsters. Skeleton monsters, for instance, would use bone magic, which is...well, exactly what it sounds like." Seeing your blank expression, he elaborated. "They conjure bones and use them as weapons."

"Ah." That _had_ been rather obvious.

"That type of magic would be inherent for them, and could not be used by another type of monster. However, a skeleton monster may also be able to learn secondary abilities such as teleportation or, say...telekinesis."

"So there are inborn magical abilities and learned ones...like having a talent verses learning a skill?" you asked.

"Precisely." He looked pleased with you.

"Huh." You hesitated before asking your next question. "So, what other kind of magic can you do? If it's...not too personal or anything.

"Of course it's not. I was hesitant to use it before, seeing as you're...well, ah, I didn't want to scare you."

"Are you kidding? Magic is awesome. Besides, why would I be scared?"

Gaster perked up at that. "In that case..." He shot you one more glance, worriedly searching for any fear or disgust in your expression. He found none, obviously. "Perhaps it's best if I just show you."


	4. Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to hold his hand! Sort of.

You gasped as a disembodied hand appeared right before your eyes. It was dark purple, almost black, but not entirely opaque. Strangely enough, there was a hole through its palm. You'd seen no such thing on Gaster's actual hands, though a quick look at them made you realize he was wearing gloves. That must've been what you'd felt when shaking hands on the first day. The apparition gave you a little wave and you returned it, smiling. You began to reach for it but paused, looking back at Gaster. He looked confused, but nodded without hesitation.

It was solid and warm, not smoky or intangible like you'd expected. It even had a bit of give to it, like real skin. You took it in one hand and used your other to brush over his fingers. They twitched in response. Had you been looking at Gaster, you surely would have noticed the faint lavender blush spreading across his face.

"Wait," you said. "Can you feel this?"

"Y-yes." He inhaled sharply as your fingers neared the hole in his palm, and you drew back in concern. "Do not worry," he assured you. "It doesn't hurt. I'm simply, ah, n-not used to that being touched."

The intimacy of your actions dawned on you, and you released his hand, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry," you hastily apologized. "I got carried away."

"Oh no, it's alright. I find your curiosity rather compelling, to be quite honest." His violet eyes regarded you warmly. "It's been a while since I've worked with someone so driven. Only a few days ago you were doubting your capabilities, but with your help we've made such great strides in the project. You have a very determined soul... No, actually, I'd say it's persevering. That's an admirable quality."

Both his words and gentle, adoring eyes left you temporarily speechless. This wasn't the first time he'd complimented you- far from it really- but he'd called you _compelling_. The praise left a warm feeling in your chest. But the silence had gone on for too long, and you rushed to fill it with a mumble of thanks.

Despite his kind words, you were still a _teensy_ bit ashamed for invading his personal space. Luckily, you had a distraction. "Hey, by the way...I don't know if you've tried the muffins they make here, but I had one earlier and I- um, I thought you might like one." You motioned towards the muffin on the table. "It's cinnamon, if that's alright."

His eyes lit up. "Oh, that's so thoughtful of you! Thank you _____." He had let the ghostly hand disappear, and he now conjured a new one to take the muffin. "I do love cinnamon," he admitted. You watched from the corner of your eye as he took a bite.

His teeth were sharp. Very sharp. You'd noticed it before but- were those fangs?! Yes, they certainly were, and they added a bit of ferocity to his appearance. The sight made you shudder. Not in fear, though with what you weren't exactly certain.

You could watch him for hours, as odd as it sounded. He'd only caught you staring a few times before, though he took it to mean you needed something and were too nervous to speak up. You'd rather he believe that than ever know the truth. It made you feel creepy, but you couldn't help it that you found him so-

So what?

"You're right," Gaster sighed, his voice breaking your train of thought. "This is delicious." His tongue quickly darted from his mouth to lick a smudge of cinnamon from his lips. It was the same dark purple as his magic. You willed yourself to look away. It was with a creeping sense of dread that you realized your feelings towards your boss may not be strictly platonic.


	5. Whooshed Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster gives you a ride home.

This was fine.

It was hardly your first crush, and it certainly wouldn't be your last. Just a fleeting, physical infatuation that was sure to pass on its own. Who knew, maybe you'd be over it by the time work resumed on Monday. After a tense eight hour workday, you gathered your things and bid farewell to the doctor.

As soon as you got home, you collapsed on the couch and buried your face in a throw pillow. It had been hard to acknowledge your feelings, and as the day progressed they'd become nearly impossible to ignore. Especially after your second little mishap.

Shortly after you first made a fool of yourself, the two of you continued working on the machine. While you welded bits of metal together, you'd made some stupid joke to try and lighten the awkward mood. At the moment, you couldn't even recall what it'd been. Whatever it was though, Gaster loved it. His resulting laughter was more akin to a giggle. You'd been so distracted by the adorable sound that you'd failed to notice your surroundings.

"Ow, shit!" You hissed in pain as your head slammed against a hunk of metal. You'd tried to stand, oblivious to the pipe the jutting out right above you. Your hand rubbed the sore area gingerly. Great. That's gonna swell.

You blinked in surprise when the throbbing began to fade, slowly being replaced by a cool, pleasant tingling. "Better?" rumbled a voice beside you. You turned to see Gaster with his hand poised above your head, a light green aura gradually fading from his fingertips.

"Uh, yeah." You touched the spot cautiously. Not even a twinge. "Was that magic?"

He nodded. "I'm not the greatest healer, but bumps and bruises aren't difficult to care for." He allowed his hand to fall onto your hair, patting it affectionately before pulling away. "Please try to be more careful, though."

You could only nod, even more flustered than before. Would you never stop embarrassing yourself?

Shortly after the slip up, Gaster began humming as he worked. The low timbre of his voice sent shivers down your spine. Distracted, you nearly dropped your wrench right on your foot. Yet you knew you couldn't allow yourself to make another mistake, no matter how lovely he sounded. Steeling yourself, you made it through the rest of the day without further incident.

And now here you were, hiding your face in a pillow. How dignified. Huffing a sigh, you sat up and turned on the TV just for something to do. It was turned down low, and you ended up playing with your phone while some movie played in the background. Finally, you felt able to relax. Fretting over your crush was exhilarating, no doubt, but also exhausting.

This would pass. Things would go back to normal, and the two of you could just be good friends and coworkers.

Two months later, this was still not the case.

If anything, you'd grown even more enamoured. Gaster seemed completely oblivious, thank god, and accepted the stares and occasional stuttering as part of your...eccentric personality. You were happy in the sense that you'd gotten closer as friends. It was easier to joke around and just be yourself when you were near him. He appeared to be much more open and casual as well. The two of you talked both during and outside of work hours, though either of you had yet to enter the other's apartment. You were still debating whether you should invite him over for tea sometime, wondering if the potential embarrassment of you breaking a mug, or tripping, or trying to kiss him-

...or doing something else clumsy would be worth it.

The machine was coming along nicely. It was nowhere near finished, of course, but the progress you'd made was something to celebrate. Gaster was in an exceptionally good mood.

"You've been working so hard lately, I think you deserve a break," he stated cheerfully. "Why don't you head home early today? There's not much else we can do until the sealant settles, and that won't be done at least until tomorrow."

"Well if I'm going home, you are too," you countered. You kept talking before he could argue. "You stay late nearly every day. Take some time off for once."

He shook his head and put on an exaggeratedly stern expression. "My overtime is far too important. I can't possibly skimp on it."

"Workaholic," you teased.

"Hm." He seemed to be considering something. "Didn't you say this morning that you had to walk to work?"

"Yeah, my car wouldn't start. And there is absolutely _no way_ I'm taking the bus." You stared dramatically into the distance as if recalling a dark memory. "Not after last time."

He chuckled at your theatrics. "Do I want to know? Don't answer, I'm sure not. Anyway, the reason I asked is- w-well..." he trailed off, fiddling with his hands. "I could take you home. I thought you might want to experience teleporting since you have such an interest in magic."

Not that you didn't trust him to get you home safely, but you felt a little hesitant. "That depends...what does it feel like?" You hoped it wouldn't hurt or- even worse- make you nauseous. Pain was bearable, but throwing up? Gross.

"I won't lie, it is a bit strange at first. But any effects it may have won't linger for more than a minute or two."

You shrugged. Couldn't be that bad. "Sure then, why not?"

"Wonderful!" he beamed. He held out one hand, his briefcase in the other. "Shall we?"

When you took the offered hand, he pulled you surprisingly close against his side. "Hold your breath," he advised. You barely had time to register it before you felt a sudden pull- a sort of twist and drop in your body- and found yourself in the foyer of your apartment building.

You swayed, feeling a little dizzy, but Gaster kept a firm grip on your waist. "Woah," you remarked simply. Had you not been so out of it, the close contact would have had you blushing like mad.

He conjured a hand and waved it front of your face. "_____? O-oh dear, I should have given you more time to prepare. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," you assured him. "That was...that was really cool!" It had been thrilling, like taking that first steep dip over the hill of a roller coaster. Convenient, too.

Gaster sighed in relief. "Still, allow me to walk you up the stairs. You're not very steady at the moment." He led you up to your door. By the time you arrived, your head was clearer, your body more grounded. You quickly noticed Gaster's arm wrapped around your waist and, inevitably, mentally squealed. It was a little disappointing when he stepped away. "Here we are. Are you feeling normal again?"

Were you ever normal? He made you feel _very_ irrational. Biting back that mortifying response, you nodded and smiled. "Thanks. That was much more fun than walking."

"Anytime. I'll see you tomorrow morning!" He turned to walk to his own apartment, and for a moment you considered calling him back to invite him in. But a familiar surge of fear kept you frozen, and your opportunity was gone as he walked through his door. Well. Maybe some other time, you'd be brave.


	6. Mortimer: Master of Mayhem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats are assholes sometimes.

You were pulled from your sleep by a sudden crash. Well. That's not creepy at all. At first you remained in bed and listened to the silence, uncertain if it had been real or part of a dream. Nope, there was another sound: quiet scuttling. Your heart pounded harder.

Wait. Your cat.

Groaning in annoyance, you kicked off the covers and shuffled out of your room. Why did cats have to be nocturnal? And why did they like breaking things? You didn't see anything amiss in the hall, so you continued to the living room. Still nothing. That'd definitely been a shattering noise, now yo had to find out what Mortimer was up to. You didn't bother turning on the lights since your eyes had already adjusted to the darkness. This was your first mistake.

In the kitchen, pieces of... _something_ were scattered across the floor. Before you could look closer, movement on the shelf by the fridge caught your eye. You determined that preventing further mess was more important than checking out the one your demon of a cat had already made. "Hey Morti. What the heck are you doin-" Your words cut off with a shriek as something sharp raked across your face. "You little shit," you hissed, holding your left cheek. Mortimer's eyes glinted at you in the darkness. He meowed curiously as if he'd done nothing at all.

Sighing, you removed your hand from your face and lifted the cat, setting him on the floor. "Shoo. I have to clean up your mess." It appeared to be the shattered remains of a ceramic dish. Damn, you'd really liked the pattern on that one. Your hand paused in its reach for the broom when there came a hesitant knock at the door.

You froze, wary of anyone who would visit at this hour. The seconds dragged on, and the knocking came again, sounding more frantic this time. You tiptoed quietly to the door, not yet daring to open it. "Hello?"

"______?" Hold up. You knew that voice. You opened the door to see Gaster looming over you, face white (well, more so than usual) and drawn, though he visibly relaxed when you stepped into the dim hallway light. "Are you alright?" he asked. "I heard a scream, and it sounded like..." He trailed off, looking closer at your face. "Oh- oh goodness you're bleeding!"

"Ah, yeah, about that..." You shifted. "It's just that my asshole of a cat-" you got louder at the last part, directing it back towards your apartment as if said cat would understand you, "just scared the crap out of me. He scratched me but it's fine, I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks." You frowned when Gaster didn't look any less upset. "Sorry for waking you up."

"You didn't, I was-" He broke off. You were confused, but he looked uncomfortable, so you didn't press the issue. "Well, I was already awake. Now let me see." He gently placed a hand on your uninjured cheek to tilt your head up. His hands were huge, one of them alone could have covered your entire face. The mental image that accompanied that thought made you snort, and Gaster mistook it as a sound of pain. He quickly withdrew. "Oh, it must hurt, I'm so sorry-"

"Gaster."

His hands fluttered around as he spoke, making their habitual, panicky motions. "You know I'm not very good with healing magic, but if you want I could try to-"

"Gaster, chill."

"How can I relax right now?! You screamed and now you're hurt and I was so worried-" He stopped when you grasped both of his hands, keeping them still.

"Gaster. I'm okay. Look," you paused to gather your thoughts. The fact that he was worried for you was touching, but right now he really needed to calm down. "A scratch isn't a big deal. It just looks bad because of the blood- but! Once I clean it up it'll be fine. And I, uh, didn't know I was that loud." You chuckled. "I just hope no one else heard me and called the cops or something."

Gaster was standing still now, and gave a nervous smile at your weak attempt at humor. "Of course." He looked down at his hands, which you were still holding. When you began to let go, a little embarrassed, he tightened his fingers around yours. You weren't certain, but you could swear there was a swath of lavender across his cheeks. You were sure your own face was discolored as well. At least it was still too dark for him to see it. Hopefully. He gently rubbed his thumb over yours, mumbling, "I'm relieved to know you're alright. Hearing you shout like that was...frightening."

Your throat had gone very dry, but you managed to speak. "Th-thanks for checking on me." Your heart was pounding far too hard, he _must_ be able to hear it. The two of you stood in silence for a few more seconds before Gaster released your hands and looked back up at you.

"Might you need any help with...?" He gestured vaguely to your cheek.

"N-no. Thanks. I've got it."

"Alright." His hands twitched again but he quickly stilled them. "Just know that if, ah. If you ever need anything. Don't be afraid to come ask. Even in the middle of the night." He smiled a bit. "I'm a light sleeper."

Damn. And your heart rate had just begun to slow to its normal pace. "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind." You bit at your bottom lip before continuing. "You too, doc. If you need anything. I'm a, uh, light sleeper too."

He looked genuinely shocked at this. His warm, (adorable) crooked smile came out in full force. "Thank you, ______." He seemed about to say more, though he shook his head. "I should let you take care of that scratch."

"Ah, right." You'd completely forgotten about it, actually. It didn't even sting anymore.

Gaster lingered long enough to say goodnight and wish you sweet dreams before heading back to his own apartment. You stayed where you were until you heard his door shut, still somewhat stunned. After a few moments, you turned around and headed for the bathroom.

Your prediction had been right. The cut was shallow and didn't look nearly as bad cleaned up. The faint claw marks were barely visible on your skin. You winced as you dabbed them with an alcohol soaked cotton ball, then smeared on some antibiotic cream for good measure. Mortimer was banished firmly outside your room (you weren't quite ready to forgive him yet) before you crawled back into bed. You thought about how warm Gaster's hands were, and how they had so easily enveloped yours. And the tender murmur of his voice...

Sleep didn't come for a long time after that.


	7. Assignment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a work assignment you'd give anything not to complete.

Your notes on the project were chaotic, a series of scribbles that could only make sense to you- or someone who was used to your disjointed way of thinking. Still, you tried to keep them clear enough for others to at least partially understand. They weren't much use if they couldn't be read. At least your handwriting was pretty neat, even in the cursive you occasionally used.

Gaster had stepped out to go talk to someone, giving you a short break. You decided to use this free time to reorganize your messy notes. Having only just begun, you were interrupted when an irritable voice growled your name.

You looked up into the scowling face of Doctor Bick, the lab's less than agreeable supervisor. "I have an assignment for you," he stated dryly.

"What is it, sir?" You did your best to keep your voice neutral. Of course you'd be cooperative, he was your superior after all, but the haughty way in which he demanded attention never failed to get on your nerves.

"Our bi-monthly meeting is coming up next week. It will be your first one, correct?" You nodded, puzzled. You'd never even heard of such a thing. He continued, "A member of each department is chosen to give an overview of their team's latest work. I have selected your project to be represented, primarily due to its...unique...nature. You will give the presentation."

"Presentation?" Your heart dropped. Public speaking was definitely not your forte. "How many people will be at this meeting?"

He stared at you as if that were the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. "Everyone. It's a company-wide affair."

Oh, hell no. "Sh-shouldn't Doctor Gaster do it? I'm only his assistant after all..." That wasn't exactly true, but Gaster did have a better grasp on the details of the work. You weren't sure if you could put together a decent summary, and you especially couldn't explain it coherently in front of a huge crowd.

"Oh, I know." Was Bick smirking? "But you've shown yourself to be very competent. That's what Doctor Gaster tells me, anyway. Think of this as a way to prove it."

"Do I really have to do the presenting all by myself?" you tried.

"Yes."

What an ass. You had a sneaking suspicion this was revenge for the time you'd slipped up and accidently called him "Dr. Bitch". The look on Bick's face had been priceless, and it had even made Gaster snicker (he'd tried fruitlessly to suppress his giggles and ended up coughing to play it off), but even that couldn't make this worth it.

You weren't about to give up yet. "Isn't there another team you could pick? The engineering wing is huge...What about Doctor Yuuko down the hall? I hear her group is almost done with the-"

"Do not argue with me, Mx. _____. I have made my final decision. Be ready to present on Monday. Perhaps you'll be relieved to know you'll be going last."

Monday?! That only gave you the weekend to prepare. Pressure was building painfully in your chest. You took a breath and managed to respond. "Alright," you huffed. Noticing his glare, you forced out an additional "Yes, Doctor Bick."

Satisfied, he turned and stalked out of the room. You sat rigidly still, staring blankly at the doorway. Worst case scenarios whizzed through your head. How would you explain a machine you didn't fully understand? The mechanical part, sure, but the magic? No one could explain magic, it just...was what it was. You couldn't exactly go up there and say something so simple. The monster population of the staff might understand, but they were still in the minority. You could think of maybe 20 non-humans out of the 80 or so scientists in the building. Groaning in frustration, you let your head sink onto to the table and rested your forehead on the stack of notes. You were still prone and despondent when Gaster returned.

"_____?" he called. You weren't quite prepared to speak yet. Or to, you know, exist. You left your head where it was as your thoughts scrambled to collect themselves. Believing you were asleep, Gaster took your lab coat from its hook by the door and draped it over your shoulders. You felt bad for ignoring him after the sweet gesture, and sat up to meet his eyes. One of the papers stuck to your face. You brushed it away, heaving a sigh.

"Hey doc."

"Oh. I didn't know you were awake." The tension must have been clear on your face, as his next words held a tinge of concern. "Are you alright?"

"Peachy," you said shakily. "It's just, uh, Bick came in here earlier. He wants me to talk about our project at the next company meeting. You never told me we had those, by the way." Not that you blamed him, of course, but it was strange that he'd never mentioned them.

Gaster beamed. "He chose our project? That's wonderful! Oh, and those meetings occur every two months. To be truthful, I only began working here about three weeks before you did. This will be my first one as well." His smile began to fade. "But what's bothering you?"

"He wants me to talk about a machine I don't fully understand. In front of nearly 100 people. Alone." You refused to let yourself panic, but boy, were you getting close.

"Ahhh. Nervous?" Gaster asked sympathetically.

"Terrified." Your voice cracked as you said it. Shit. Gaster's hand on your shoulder made you freeze. You cautiously raised your eyes to him.

The sweet sincerity in his smile made your breath catch in your throat. "_____. Let me help you."

"Oh, uh. Doc. Not that I don't appreciate it, but Bick said I have to do it alone." And you were not about to challenge that. Even if you did get your way this time, you were sure Bick would think up something else equally awful, if not even more so, for you later.

Gaster shook his head. "The speaking part, sure, but can't I help you prepare? I'm assuming the details you don't quite grasp are about magic, yes? Magic is rather difficult to describe in scientific terms but...I'll do my best!" Hearing that, you couldn't help but feel a little hopeful. However, there was still one more issue.

"Are you sure?" you asked uncertainly. "We've only got the next two days to prepare, and I don't want to impose on your weekend plans."

"I don't have any. And even if I did-" He gave your shoulder a light squeeze. "I always have time to help a dear friend."

"W-well in that case...thanks." You were much less nervous now.

"Oh, this should be fun! Now that only leaves the question: your place or mine?" Realizing what he'd just said, Gaster flushed violet. "O-oh my. That came out wrong. What I meant is, ah, w-where do you want to-"

"No, I know what you meant." You were blushing a bit yourself, but managed to laugh it off. "Mine, if you'd like? It doesn't really matter." You'd been wanting to invite him over anyway, only for less...professional reasons.

Nothing like that! Just, you know, for tea or something. Maybe a movie or two.

At least, that's what you told yourself.

"That would be lovely." Gaster's voice brought you back from your questionable thoughts. "Do you want to start right after work? If so, I wouldn't mind taking you home you again."

It took you a moment to remember what he meant. Oh, the teleporting. That'd been pretty fun the first time, and it _had_ resulted in having Gaster's arm around your waist. "Sure. Yeah, actually that'd be great."

And so it was that you found yourself a few hours later, standing once again in the complex's foyer. There were no feelings of dizziness this time. Bummer. After ascertaining that you could walk fine on your own, Gaster let you lead the way to your door. He stood back and politely waited for you to unlock it. Your hands fumbled in your pockets to retrieve your keys. In a few seconds, the door was opened. You inclined your head to allow Gaster to enter first, trailing in nervously behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Gaster think of your apartment? How will the preparations go?? Are you two gonna watch movies together??? Find out in the next chapter! (Which I've already started on, so it may be up later tonight.)


	8. A Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster helps you prepare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that I didn't expect this story to get noticed, like, at all. I really appreciate the comments and kudos! One of the best feelings for an author is knowing that someone enjoyed their work (even if it is a silly, self-indulgent fanfic).

The first thing you thought upon entering was that you really should have cleaned up more. Your apartment wasn't horrible, but there was a fair amount of clutter. You had a tendency to fling things around with the intention of putting them away later (which happened rarely). Gaster didn't seem to mind. He looked amused, actually.

"You must like candles," he stated coyly.

That you did. Candles, incense, and other pleasantly scented things. You hadn't realized quite how many you owned. A sage scented candle on the coffee table, a pumpkin spice one near the kitchen, rosebud on your bookshelf, cinnamon apple by the TV-

"Oh! I didn't know you were such an avid reader." He walked over to inspect the shelf. "We have that in common."

"You like books?" The question seemed silly once you asked it. Everything about Gaster screamed 'nerd', of course he'd love books.

...not like you were any less of a dork.

"Most definitely. You have some nice titles in your collection." He smiled, though his eyes held a tint of sadness. "In the Underground, we didn't have many books. We found only what fell in the dump, and even then they were waterlogged or missing pages. The first time I visited a bookstore on the surface, well-" He chuckled. "You can imagine my excitement, I'm sure."

You'd never even thought about that. The conditions monsters had been forced to live in had definitely crossed your mind, especially whenever Gaster shared little tidbits of his life like this. But to think someone could be so thrilled by something as simple as an undamaged book...

It was easy to imagine him rushing around a bookstore, towering stacks of books in his hands- both real and ghostly- and likely scaring the bajeezus out of other shoppers. "Heh. What kind of genres do you like?"

He thought for a moment. "I'll read just about anything that piques my interest, but I do have a weakness for science fiction."

"No kidding? That's my favorite."

"Really? Ah, but I should have figured. You own a lot of Asimov's work..." He ran a finger along the spine of 'The Robots of Dawn' as he spoke.

You noticed the slight way he shifted his coat on his shoulders. "Crap, I'm being a terrible host. You don't have to wear that if you don't want to, I can hang it up over there-" you pointed to a row of hooks by the door, "-if you'd like. Can I get you anything? I think I still have some teabags left..." You faltered. "I, um, don't often have guests."

"Oh, don't trouble yourself, I'll do it." He hung his own jacket before you could object. "If you do have some, though, tea would be nice."

"Right. Cool, I'm just gonna go...make it. Be right back," you said, hurrying away before you could embarrass yourself any further. In the process of shuffling awkwardly into the kitchen, you skidded to a stop to call back over your shoulder, "Sit down, make yourself at home," before searching the cupboards. As it turns out, you _did_ have some tea. While waiting for the water to boil, you chanced a peek around the doorway.

Gaster was seated on your couch, looking absolutely precious with his hands folded neatly in his lap and glancing curiously around the sitting room. You didn't often see him in just his light grey turtleneck; usually it was covered by his lab coat or long, black jacket. The knitted fabric looked soft, and on more than one occasion you'd had the urge to touch it.

The kettle whistled. You busied yourself with making two steaming mugs of peppermint tea. Once finished, you brought them out to the sitting room and handed one to Gaster, your heart giving a quick flutter when he smiled at you gratefully. As much as you'd love to simply sit together and talk all evening, it was time to get to work.

You'd brought home every piece of information recorded on the project, and now laid the papers out on the coffee table. Gaster took a few sips of his tea and read through what you'd written. "You don't give yourself enough credit. Your grasp on magical concepts is much greater than you claim," he said.

"These make sense to you?" you asked in disbelief. "Most people see my notes as disorganized gibberish."

Gaster raised an eyebrow. "Truly? I don't see why. Perhaps we have similar thinking processes." He tapped on a paper near your mug of tea.  "Though I can tell by the vague phrasing here that you're having trouble with this particular topic. Allow me to elaborate-"

The rest of the night was comprised of questions on your end and blessedly thorough explanations from Gaster. Before it even grew dark, you felt much more confident with the material. You told him as much.

"Wonderful. I'm very glad to have been helpful. Do you want to take a break, perhaps? We've been at this for quite a while now."

You arched your back, wincing at the sharp pops it produced. "Yeah, a break sounds nice. Wanna watch some Netflix?"

The two of you ended up engrossed in some show about stars and black holes. After that ended, there was another one about Ancient Greek architecture. Then something about...whales? You weren't quite sure, as your mind began to wander and your eyes began to close. You'd steadily gravitated closer to the sleepy monster at your side. Eventually, he was sitting so close that your arms touched. Gaster, reluctant to leave your company, tried to pretend he wasn't nodding off as well. It didn't take long for you both to fall fast asleep.


	9. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

Consciousness trickled back to you at a crawl the following morning. You felt groggy and stiff as if you'd slept on a lumpy mattress, though also very warm. Attempting to stretch, you found yourself stuck firmly in place. 

Gaster. He was still here. And...clinging to you.

You kept deathly still even as your heartrate picked up, not daring to move a muscle. He was leaning on you in his sleep, his arms wrapped comfortably around your waist and his chin atop your head. His hold on you was surprisingly firm. Despite his thin, lanky frame, there was a fair amount of strength in his grip. Still, you could easily slip away. Doing so carelessly would result in him faceplanting straight into the couch, so you had to think it through.

This was certainly awkward but also...really nice. You hadn't been held like this in a long time. The fact that it was Gaster doing the holding made it infinitely better.

Though you knew it wouldn't be so nice if he woke up, and carefully planned out your next course of action. If you moved slowly enough, you could duck down and wriggle out from under his arms, lower him carefully onto a throw pillow, and then go make breakfast. Did he like coffee? Whatever, you'd be needing some anyway.

Unfortunately, there was no time to implement your plan. Gaster had begun to stir. In a panic, you tore yourself from his grasp and bolted from the couch, landing in an undignified heap on the floor. It was by pure luck that your head avoided slamming into the coffee table.

Gaster didn't fare much better and flopped over directly, as you'd predicted, onto the stiff arm of the couch. You winced in regret, torn between checking if he was okay and retreating to the kitchen to salvage your pride.

...he kept sleeping.

You felt like his claim of being a "'light sleeper' a few days ago might not be very accurate.

Moments later, he moved again to pull his legs up (as best he could anyway, being much longer than the couch) and snuggled into the cushions, still out cold. Well. As long as he was comfortable.

You took a brief trip to your bedroom to retrieve a blanket, draping it carefully over his sleeping form on your return. You also grabbed a throw pillow and slid it cautiously under his head. For a moment, you lingered beside him and took a close, long look.

He really was adorable, all cozy like that. On _your_ couch, too. The weak sunlight that forced its way through the curtains illuminated his face in a soft glow. One could argue he was somewhat featureless, seeing as he lacked a nose and ears. Some might even say his appearance was...disturbing. _Creepy_. Actually, as he'd mentioned by accident during one of your conversations, many humans already had. He didn't seem at all convinced when you'd tried to tell him otherwise. His visage was almost skeletal, looking thin and gaunt and...well, monstrous. And there were always those viciously sharp teeth. But his face held sharp curves and contours, well-defined cheekbones, the unique scars, those gorgeously _stunning_ violet eyes-

It occurred to you that you were watching him in his sleep, and that Gaster might find this uncomfortable if he woke up. You reluctantly tore your eyes away and rushed off to the kitchen. 

A stack of pancakes and a fresh pot of coffee were finished before Gaster awoke. He sat up slowly, blinking in confusion as he took in his surroundings. "Good morning sleepyhead," you teased from the kitchen.

"Wha-" His eyes opened fully. "Oh- o-oh my. I've really overstayed my welcome, haven't I?" He looked away in shame. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

You couldn't help but laugh. "Of course not, doc. And don't worry, I passed out too. You're really c-" Cuddly in your sleep? We're you seriously about to say that? Out loud?! "Y-you're fine, I don't mind at all." Your fingers drummed against the counter anxiously. "Do you like pancakes?"

Thankfully, he didn't notice your near disastrous slip up. "Yes...but you really don't have to make me breakfast."

"Too late," you beamed. "Already did."

Gaster stood, chuckling, letting the blanket fall from his shoulders. He watched its descent in mild surprise as if he hadn't even noticed it was there.

"I don't know if you drink it, but there's coffee too," you added.

He laughed again. "Far too often, actually. I've had to live off it on long nights at the lab." Rolling his shoulders, which emitted a few painful sounding pops, he dragged himself through the living room to join you by the stove. "I think the smell is what woke me."

You'd been wondering if he had a sense of smell, actually. How did he do that without a nose? Then again, he could hear just fine without ears. Huh. Magic is weird.

It turned out that he liked his coffee with 3 teaspoons of sugar and a dash of cream. He was very appreciative for breakfast, and frequently commended you on the taste. Each compliment made you blush more and more, forcing you to constantly take sips from your mug just to hide your burning face.

To your disappointment, his visit didn't last much longer. Gaster insisted that you let him take care of the dishes, but relented when you showed him your dishwasher. Apparently he didn't own one yet. You were halfway through loading the plates and mugs when Gaster's cell phone rang in his coat by the door. He arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Hm. I wasn't expecting any calls. Do you mind if I...?"

"Of course, go right ahead."

He inclined his head in thanks and went to retrieve his phone. "Hello? Oh, good morning Doctor- hm? Ah...yes. But I don't see why-" His brow furrowed. "Well, if it's that important..." Gaster cast an uncertain glance back in your direction. "I'll get back to you. Thank you."

You hadn't meant to listen in, but your apartment was only so big. You probably would have heard him from the furthest room.

The conversation hadn't sounded private, but you were tentative to ask. "Everything alright?" you ventured as you stepped into the living room.

"Yes, yes it's fine. It's just that..." Gaster's hands began to fidget. "Well I don't want to leave. I mean, I've already stayed longer than I should have, but I didn't even help you write your presentation yet."

"I'm not kicking you out, doc," you snorted.

"I-I know, but...that was Doctor Bick. He wants me to come in to work today."

"On a Saturday?" you asked incredulously.

He nodded. "Sunday as well."

"What for?"

"I have no idea," Gaster confessed. "He only said that it was 'vitally essential'." He almost looked sad.

"Hey." You couldn't quite reach his shoulder, so you placed your hand on the side of his arm instead. "You've already done plenty for me. With what you explained last night, I should be able to put the rest together myself. Go on-" You smiled. "Your people need you."

Gaster raised an eyebrow. "My people?"

"Yeah you know, science nerds."

"Would that not make you a 'science nerd' as well?"

"I prefer the term 'geek', thank you very much. Not that there's any difference, but-" A shrug. "Sounds cooler, I guess."

He shook his head, smiling his crooked smile, and placed his own hand on your shoulder. "Thank you very much for having me. I suppose I'll see you on Monday, then?"

"Yeah. Good luck with- uh, whatever they're making you do." Your hand was still on his arm, and his was still on your shoulder. It would be so easy to pull him into a hug.

But he was already walking away. "Enjoy the rest of your day, _____. And please, don't stress yourself over the assignment. I have complete faith in you!"

Somehow, his optimism made you even more nervous, yet you forced a smile and said goodbye.

The rest of your weekend was a blur of writing, revising, and practicing for the meeting. By the time you walked into work on Monday morning, you felt prepared. There was no way you could mess this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or is there? Of course there is, there's always a chance for things to go horribly, horribly wrong :D


	10. Presentation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the meeting.

The moment had come at last.

You were huddled behind the curtain just off stage, watching as the second-to-last presenter gave their spiel. The papers you clutched in a vice-like grip fluttered with the constant trembling of your hands. How had you felt so confident earlier? You weren't even out there yet and your stomach was already twisting in knots!

Knowing that Bick was just waiting for you to fail made you pull yourself together. If you weren't going to do this for your own pride, you'd do it just to spite him. Knowing that Gaster would be watching as well filled you with...something. You couldn't tell if it was hope or horror. He'd been incredibly supportive thus far, and you knew he would continue to be no matter how this turned out.

So why did you feel ready to pass out?

It was so easy to forget with the jokes and friendly conversations (and the accidental snuggling, an incident from which you still hadn't quite recovered) that he was your boss. Any actions of yours reflected on him, and could easily affect his reputation. If you messed this up, not only would you be shaming yourself, but one of your best friends as well. You doubted that he would care. You were pretty sure you could _stab_ him and he'd just apologize for getting in the way of your knife. If you embarrassed him, you would never forgive the blunder. And Bick would never let you forget it.

"Next, we have Mx _____ from the Engineering department," the speakers announced. "They will be telling us about their latest endeavor with Doctor W. D. Gaster, a truly revolutionary project involving elements both mechanical and magical." There was a polite smattering of applause as you stepped up to the podium. You stared, wide-eyed, over the endless mass of faces gazing expectantly up at you. You wanted more than anything to find Gaster's face in the crowd, just to see his reassuring smile one more time, but fear left you frozen. Your eyes remained fixed on the back wall of the auditorium as you began speaking in a timid voice.

It started out shockingly well. The introduction was a tad awkward, and you stumbled over a few words, but it was adequately coherent. You had no trouble with the formulas and technical jargon, nor even with the brief explanation of magic. However, when it came to the machine's mechanical workings, you blanked.

You knew this. You'd been building the damn thing for months now, its internal structures should be as familiar as your own name. This was the stuff you'd gone to school for, what you were supposed to be good at. With an expression of pure dread your words trailed off, your mind struggling to recall the facts.

It was getting too hot. The chilly room seemed to be sweltering, causing a bead of sweat to roll down your forehead. Your mouth was dry, your heart too fast, and suddenly the closest rows of seats appeared to be miles away. You knew your mumbling voice wouldn't reach that far, and the thought threatened to send you into a deeper panic. The papers rustled, catching your attention. Were you really shaking that hard? They didn't contain anything useful. You hadn't brought any of your notes for this particular subject, it was supposed to be the easiest part. Beads of water pricked at your eyes, threatening to fall. Which would be more embarrassing? Bursting into tears or running away? You decided neither was a viable option. You blinked rapidly to clear your eyes and forced your head back up.

After shifting your gaze, you noticed Bick standing against the wall in the back of the auditorium, smiling triumphantly. He knew he was winning.

His smug satisfaction was enough to make you seethe with fury. The feeling became strong enough to overpower your shattered nerves, sending a jolt of determination through your body. There was no giving up. You had to persevere. And miraculously, it all came back to you.

Your voice returned, still shaky but steadily increasing in strength and volume. Maybe if you pretended nothing had happened, no one would acknowledge it. Though you still trembled like a leaf in a hurricane (and felt as if you'd been tossed around like one), you managed to finish. You sped off the stage not a second after the applause had ended, making your way to the exit. You silently thanked any deities that may exist for the meeting being at the end of the work day. Now all you had to do was walk home and finish panicking in private.

The thought of seeking out Gaster only briefly crossed your mind before you shoved it firmly away. You couldn't face him like this.

Unfortunately, he had the same thought. You were nearly at the front entrance when he called out your name.

Feeling a slight twinge of guilt, you increased your pace. You turned into a rarely used hallway, hoping Gaster would get the hint. He either didn't or ignored it. His legs being nearly twice as long as yours, he easily caught up to you. A firm hand on your shoulder finally stopped you in your tracks.

"_____, wait." His too-neutral tone made your breath quicken. Was he angry? His grip grew tighter. "Look at me..." he requested.

"D-d-doc, please. I just w-want to go home." You dug your teeth into your lower lip, refusing to let yourself cry. "I understand if y-you're mad at me but I-"

He abruptly stepped in front of you, surprising you into looking at him. The expression on his face was startling: he looked stricken. "_____, I could never be mad at you! I came to see if you're alright and-" His brow furrowed in concern. "You're clearly not."

"O-oh." Both of his hands were on your shoulders now. Another one was summoned to wipe away tears you didn't know had fallen. "I'm sorry-" you began, but he didn't let you finish.

His hands slid off your shoulders and around your back, pulling you into a warm embrace that tightened when you didn't pull away. "It's okay," he mumbled. "You did fine, please don't apologize..."

"B-but I didn't!" You didn't care how shaky your voice sounded anymore, you just had to let it out. "I f-fucked up just like we both knew I would, I just s-stood there like a fucking _moron_ -"

You vaguely registered an additional pressure on your head. It was another hand, holding you gently to sob against his chest. There was one cradling your face, the thumb rubbing your cheek. Though he'd always been very tactile, Gaster was never this openly affectionate before. If only you weren't in the middle of a breakdown, you could enjoy it properly...

"You're not a moron, you did very well and I'm so proud of you," he said quietly.

You wanted to look up at him and tell him to stop _lying_ , but he'd pulled you closer, held you tighter. His hands still stroked gently on your face and head, and his arms still held you protectively, so you let yourself relax. You didn't have the energy to argue, only enough to to lift your arms weakly around his waist and let yourself be comforted. You were mortified that he had to see you like this, of course, but god, he was so soft and soothing...

After what felt like hours, you began to calm down, extremely grateful that no one else had happened to come by.

Your flight of panic seemed silly now. It wasn't the first time you'd had an anxiety attack in public, but this one hadn't been too bad. You'd never had someone there to bring you back down before.

And he was right. You really didn't fail, all things considered. It wasn't enough get you fired nor, you hoped, for Bick to have something to rub in your face. You pulled back just enough to speak. "I-I, uh...overreacted. D-didn't I?" Your voice was jittery from the remaining nerves, though steadier.

"Not at all." His expression was gentle- and dare you say it, _loving_ as he gazed at you. "Your feelings are always valid." For a brief moment, he appeared lost in thought. "Anyone else could have run away, but you stuck with it. That takes strength."

You laughed humorlessly. "I definitely wanted to run."

"But you didn't." His beautiful, radiant smile spread across his face. "You posses more courage than you think."

Only now that the adrenaline had begun to fade did you start getting flustered. Your brain finally registered how close he had been to you, how close he _still_ was, and how blessedly cool his hand felt on your heated face. "I'm so proud of you," he repeated.

You believed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...it wasn't too bad, right? They got to hug him. While he's awake this time! (Boy, does that sound creepy.)


	11. Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find a place to shelter in during the rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kinda boring, but it sets up some stuff for later.

It was the rain that led you there.

Torrents lashed down from a darkening sky, urging you to pick up your pace. Rain was nice, but not while wandering an unfamiliar neighborhood. Earlier that day, you'd headed to a different part of town to check out a recently opened candle shop. There were now three new scents to add to your collection: Cocoa butter, lavender, and strawberries & cream. Sweet.

Seeing as your car was still in the shop, you'd walked there, not expecting any changes in the weather. That's the last time you trust the local news channel. You were considering calling a cab when you spotted a row of warmly glowing windows up ahead. Looked like a bar or a restaurant of some sort. It was worth checking out, especially if it was dry inside.

You took a quick glance at the sign above the door. "Grillby's". That didn't really tell you anything, but judging by the building's appearance you were fairly certain it was open to the public. The rain finally urged you inside.

Whatever you had been expecting...it wasn't this.

The atmosphere was warm, cheery, and inviting. Also, it was full of monsters.

This only threw you off for a moment. Monsters didn't bother you, obviously, yet you didn't see another human in sight. Briefly, you wondered if you were intruding. Would they mind you being here?

There were a few prolonged glances in your direction as you made your way timidly to the bar. Nothing hostile or unfriendly. They looked curious, if anything. Pushing aside your apprehension, you sat down on a barstool and placed your bag of candles by your feet. The bartender was on fire.

Or, maybe he was made of fire. You felt like it'd be rude to ask.

He nodded in your direction, then gestured silently to the rows of bottles behind him.

Not wanting to get drunk, you asked for a glass of water.

"...I'd get you one..." You jumped a bit when he spoke, quiet and crackly. "...but I don't touch the stuff."

You blinked. A quick snort turned into a full on giggle, and the bartender crackled louder. You wondered if that was his way of laughing.

"But seriously...coming right up." He went through a door, presumably to the kitchen, to retrieve your drink. Heh. You were liking this place already.

After bringing out your water, the bartender (who you assumed was Grillby, seeing as he was the only worker) didn't say much. You didn't mind. Simply being warm and dry was enough. A jukebox in the corner played a mellow tune you didn't recognize. Maybe you'd check it out later and see if they had any (your favorite band/artist). You watched a group of dogs playing poker. One of them looked at his cards and started panting, his tail wagging excitedly. That got another giggle from you. Must be a pretty good hand.

You were startled out of your easygoing mood when a sudden uproar rang through the establishment. Briefly panicked, you searched around for the source before realizing that everyone was cheering, not screaming.

The cause was the bar's newest arrival: a short skeleton wearing a puffy blue hoodie. He waltzed over to the bar, greeting everyone he passed. You must have made some sort of movement when he approached, as the dots in his eyesockets flicked towards you in surprise. He was grinning. The expression had been there since he walked in. It never faltered, even as he cocked a browbone at you.

For the second time since you'd entered, you felt out of place. Your eyes immediately darted downward. You raised your hand in a timid wave, hoping he wouldn't see you as a threat.

There was, unfortunately, a rather high rate of hate crimes and hostility towards monsters. It came as no surprise to anyone, yet it was still disappointing. Humans didn't even like each other; of course they wouldn't all be welcoming towards an entirely new race. This guy was right to be suspicious-you would never harm anyone, but there was no was he could know that right off the bat. Though, the fact that the owner hadn't kicked you out was probably a good indication.

To your surprise he took a seat on the stool beside you. "'sup?" he asked coolly. "the name's sans. sans the skeleton."

Really? You'd thought it was sans the porcupine.

None of your internal snark came through in your response, only a polite tone of interest, "Hey. I'm _____."

"so." Sans' grin was the same, but you saw the dubious look from before fade from his eyes. "_____. you come here often?"

"Uhhh-" You were sure he hadn't meant that in the way you first took it. "No. This is my first time. Being here."

"heh. so you haven't tried the food yet?" You shook your head. "man, you gotta try the fries. howzaboutit?"

You shrugged. "Sure."

"gotcha. hey grillbz!" sans called. There was no need for him to raise his voice, seeing as Grillby was still standing right there behind the bar. The bartender nodded, having already heard your conversation, and went back into the kitchen.

"So," you tried. "Do _you_ come here often?" Judging by everyone's reaction when he'd walked in, Sans had to be a regular.

"yup. every day if I can." He twirled a salt shaker between his fingers. "gotta love the atmosphere, you know?"

"Yeah. The lack of rain is also a plus," you commented dryly. Ha. Dryly.

"guess you could say it's-" He gave a slight pause. "bone dry."

Was that a pun? Oh my god. You'd really have to come by this place more.

For a while, you and Sans talked (and punned) casually. The fries were delicious, and you told Grillby so. He crackled at your praise, his flames growing higher. Before you knew it, you'd been there for well over an hour. It was around the hour and a half mark that Sans said something strange.

"yeah, I was saying the same thing to dings the other day-" Noticing your sudden change in expression, he broke off. "kid?"

You blinked, shaking your head. "I'm fine, but...did you say 'Dings'?"

Sans chuckled. "Right, I forgot you don't know him. He's a friend of mine. Works at the lab a few blocks east of here."

"You mean Wingdings? I do know him!"

"wait. you're _that_ _____?" Sans smacked a hand to his forehead. "of course. i should've known right away, sorry kid. he's told us all about you."

"He has?" Unexpected, but flattering. "And, um, who's 'us'?"

"me, my brother, a few of our friends. heh." Sans grinned at you slyly. "you and the doc are pretty close, aren't ya?"

"I-I mean-" What exactly had Gaster said about you? You were dying to know, but had no idea how to place that question without being obvious. "Yeah. Coworkers, neighbors, friends..." You waved a hand. "Etcetera." When Sans' eyes widened, you hastened to explain. "We're just friends!"

"don't worry, kid. i believe you." He looked down at his watch-less wrist. "it's been real nice talking to you, but i gotta get going. my brother gets cranky without his bedtime story. but hey-" He shot you double finger guns. "we can talk more next time, eh?"

"Yeah. I'll definitely come back." That was no lie, either. You had a feeling this would become a regular stop in your daily regimen. When you tried to pay for your food, Sans shook his head and told Grillby to put it on his tab. The bartender looked none too thrilled at this, but still refused to let you give him any money. You slid a five across the bar, "As a tip", and he begrudgingly accepted it.

The rain had slowed to a drizzle. You swung your bag of candles by your side, strolling at a casual pace back towards your home. You'd spent a lot more time in there than it felt like. Mortimer was probably crying to be fed. Poor kitty. He'd get an extra big scoop of kibble tonight.

It didn't take long for you to reach the apartment complex and slink up to your room. Mortimer yowled, rubbing against your legs as soon as you walked through the door. "Yeah, yeah, give me a moment," you mumbled. Once his food bowl was filled, you shuffled back into the living roomy and sank into the couch.

In moments, there was a knock at the door. No mistaking who it was. You brushed your messy, damp hair with your fingers to make it look at least halfway decent before opening the door.

"Hey doc," you greeted. He smiled warmly at you, though his hands were fidgeting. That's not a good sign. "Everything alright?"

"Yes, yes of course. I just heard you return and-" Gaster's eyes lowered, abashed. "Well you'd been out much longer than usual. I was starting to get a little worried." He shook his head, the chiding directed at himself rather than you. "Which was silly. Forgive my paranoia."

He never failed to make your heart race, did he? "Nah, I appreciate it. Sorry to make you worry, I just got sidetracked at this place called Grillby's-" You remembered your conversation with Sans. "I met a friend of yours there."

"Grillby?"

Huh. You weren't aware they knew each other. "No, Sans. Though I did talk to Grillby too." The bartender hadn't said much, actually. "Kinda."

"Oh! Of course. Sans does go there quite often, doesn't he?" Gaster looked nervous again. "What, ah- what did he say?"

"Puns, mostly," you admitted. "He told me a bit about his brother too. Sounds like a pretty cool guy." Papyrus was apparently an energetic skeleton who aimed to become a master spaghetti chef and, chiefly, be the best possible brother to Sans. Those were some respectable life goals.

"Ah, yes, Papyrus is a very nice young monster. Very enthusiastic." His hands were no longer moving. "Well, I've kept you up long enough. Again, I apologize for intruding."

"I don't mind, doc. It's...nice to know someone cares."

Gaster's eyes softened at that. "Well of course I care..." he said, firmly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

You had an idea. A wonderful, yet potentially disastrous idea. "Hey, uh, do you want-I could-" Damn it tongue, do your job. "-give you my cell phone number? If I'm ever out late or something you could just, you know, text me and I'd tell you I'm...alive. And-" We're you blushing? Yeah, there was no way you weren't blushing. "If you just want to talk, too. Or need anything. Yeah."

Gaster was postively glowing with happiness. "That would be great! That is-" There went his hands again. "If you are comfortable with it."

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't, silly," you laughed, relieved. "Do you have your phone with you?" He, nodded, unlocked the device, tapped the contacts icon, and handed it over with nothing but a bright, eager smile.

Taking your time to appear nonchalant, you created a contact for yourself and gave the phone back. "Cool! So yeah, feel free to text me anytime." You rocked on your heels, feeling awkward in the following silence. "Thanks again for stopping by."

Gaster, fidgety and giddy, reached out and gave your shoulder a light pat. "Anytime, dear. I'll see you tomorrow!"

You waited again until his door had closed before going back inside to collapse on your bed, not feeling the need to change into pajamas. A ping from your phone gave you a start. Was he texting you already?

'I just realized I forgot to wish you a good night! So, goodnight _____! ^u^'

D'aww...the little smiley face was a cute touch. You sent a text back quickly (but not too quickly) and debated what name to save his number under. 'Gaster' would work just fine, though you were tempted to add a heart emoji as well. 

"You're not in high school anymore, get a grip," you muttered to yourself. Locking your phone, you sighed. Looked like another sleepless night was ahead.


	12. Consultation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go to a friend for advice.

You couldn't quite place it, but something seemed off about Gaster's behavior. Maybe it was the absence of light, friendly touches. On a normal day, he would habitually place his hand on your shoulder, gently pat your head, or even give you a quick hug when he was particularly happy. Now he wouldn't even come near you. Perhaps it was also the way he avoided eye contact, fluttered his anxious hands nearly twice as much as usual, or the fact that he hadn't texted you once since that first time when he said goodnight. Not like you'd been expecting him to, but...still. It was starting to bother you.

It was possible that he was upset about you hanging out with Sans. Grillby's had become a regular stop in your daily regimen, meaning you had plenty of time to talk to its most frequent visitor. But that was silly, wasn't it? Why would Gaster care if you knew one of his friends? But it was the only thing that had changed lately. You decided to take it up with the skeleton himself.

"Hey, Sans?" He didn't stop chugging his bottle of ketchup, acknowledging you with a grunt. "Has Gaster been acting differently for you too?"

Sans slowly set the bottle on the bar. "whaddya mean, kid?" There was confusion in his face, but his tone gave him away.

"I mean..." You huffed. "I dunno. He's just been...weird. Like he's mad at me or something. I don't know what I did wrong."

For a moment, you could've sworn Sans looked guilty. "that's not your fault, buddy. it's mine." His eternal grin turned down ever so slightly at the edges. "and he's not angry. he's worried about what i might tell you. 'bout him." You stared at Sans quizzically. Before talking, he took another swig of ketchup. "i promised i wouldn't say anything, but..."

What could he be hiding? Gaster didn't seem like the secretive type. "What are you talking about?"

"look- it's nothing that he's done. it's what happened to him," Sans answered. "there are things he doesn't want you to know. at least, not from me. he's..." The skeleton stared at the bottle in his hand, unsure of how to continue. "he's gone through a lot of awful shit, and he's still hurting from it," he finished quickly. "doesn't like to talk about it either, so...i wouldn't bring it up. "

"Oh." You were both quiet for a while. "I...think I understand." Well enough, at least. You had plenty of skeletons in your closet (Sans would have loved that, but you didn't voice the thought aloud), plenty of secrets that you wouldn't tell someone you'd only met a few months ago. Didn't everyone?

"yeah, i figured you would. you're a pretty understanding person, you know that?" Sans looked much less stressed now. "just...don't tell him we talked about this. he's seriously scared that if i let anything slip, you won't want to be his friend anymore."

"That's ridiculous!" That was louder than you'd intended it to be. Your voice lowered. "Nothing could change how I feel about him."

"that's something i've been wondering, actually." You didn't like how wide Sans' smile had become. "how exactly _do_ you feel about 'dings?"

All you could do was gape, mouth opening and closing like a fish. That was all the answer Sans needed. "heh. thought so," he chuckled. "I had a feeling, but now i know for sure-"

"Please don't tell him," you begged. You didn't think you could handle the humiliation.

"relax, i won't." Your tense shoulders slumped in relief for all of three seconds. "you will."

You didn't know whether to be angry or let your face slam onto the bar. "Yeah, I can see that happening never."

"why though? you've clearly got a thing for him, and to be honest-" He winked. "or should i say tibia honest, i think you've got a pretty good chance. all you need to do is be up front about how you feel."

As much you hated to admit it, Sans was right. You'd been pining over Gaster for months, wasn't it time to finally make a move? Even though there was a huge chance that he'd be disinterested, or uncomfortable, or disgusted-

"from that look on your face, i'd say you're having some doubts, right?" Sans nudged your shoulder. "have faith in yourself kid."

"What if I'm not good for him?" The fears that had been gnawing at your mind wormed their way out. "I don't even know what he looks for in a-" You faltered. "P-partner. He's so smart, and thoughtful, and sweet...and what am I?" You snorted self-derisively. "Some- some _loser_ -"

Sans' face grew as serious as it could. "you're much more than that. look, i-" He was obviously reluctant to go on, but pushed himself. "i was in the same boat as you once." He gave that a moment to sink in. "granted, i was a lot younger, and i never even considered telling him. I don't think he ever realized, and if he did he never acknowledged it. plus, you've got, uh, nothing to worry about. i got over it a long time ago. we're just friends. good friends though, and I can tell you without a doubt," He leaned forward for emphasis. "you've already done wonders for 'dings. every time he comes to visit he tells us all how much he loves working with you, and how happy he is to have you as a friend. he thinks you're an amazing person. and yeah, even i'll admit...you're not bad. weird, but not the bad kinda weird."

Before you could even roll your eyes, Grillby waved his dishrag to get your attention. "...I concur," he crackled.

"see?" Sans pointed at the bartender, smirking. "you gotta do this while you still can, kid. otherwise," He sombered a bit. "you'll regret never taking the chance."

Despite the teasing, your friends' praise bolstered your confidence. But there was still one more thing on your mind. "Thanks guys. You're right, I've gotta do it. But first, Sans...are you really okay with...uh, you know?"

Sans snorted. "of course, kid. me 'n 'dings are just friends now. and I don't think I was ever as into him as you are." His eyes grew unfocused as he thought back. "i used to be a physicist. dr. gaster had been my role model for a long time, so when I finally got to work with him-" He shook his head and laughed. "well, i think i might've been mistaking my admiration for something more than it was. besides, 'dings needs someone more... _open_ than i'd be. he needs to feel needed. ya know? i think you could do that for him."

You nodded, wondering if that was true. Thinking about Gaster's lopsided smile, the enraptured look in his eyes whenever you did something clever, and the gentle rumble of his laugh that never failed to give you heart palpitations...it assured you that you would be willing to do anything for him. Anything to make him happy.

Now all you had to do was make your confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me reiterate, Sans and the G-man aren't related in this fic.


	13. Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one you've all been waiting for.

Oh god. This was going to be harder than you thought.

After Sans' pep talk, you'd driven home with a heavy mind. How were you going to say it? And what to do if he rejected you? Working together after that would certainly be awkward, but you held on to the hope that you two could still be friends if it all went wrong.

You knew you weren't going to get much sleep that night, so you spent the rest of the evening baking cookies. Definitely not the worst way to deal with stress. It yielded much better results than smoking or drinking, at the very least. Maybe you could even bring a few in for Gaster tomorrow, certainly not to sway him in your favor before you risked your entire friendship. No, you knew he also happened to love sweets. He seemed to always have some sort of candy in his pocket.

With the first batch in the oven, you settled on the couch and turned on the TV. Even your favorite show couldn't hold your attention for very long. Eventually, you picked up your phone instead, intending to play some mindless game. There was one text message.

'Are you at home?'

Gaster knew perfectly well you had arrived back at your apartment. He'd heard you come in every time before, so why was he asking for confirmation now? It took you a few tries to type a response with your jittery fingers.

'Yes, why?'

The reply was almost immediate.

'May I come over? I'd like to discuss something with you.'

That sounded dreadfully ominous, but you replied with a simple, 'Sure"'

Your breath caught in your throat as you listened to the sound of his door creaking open, followed by light footsteps down the hallway. They stopped outside your door, then it was silent. You opened the door before he even had a chance to knock.

Gaster attempted to smile, though it quickly faded into something uncertain. "Good evening." He tore his eyes away. "Perhaps this is too late an hour for me to be visiting. I didn't mean to b-be rude. W-we could just t-t-talk t-tomo-" He had begun shaking, unable to finish his sentence.

"Gaster." Your own fear was overpowered by a pang of sympathy. "...Wingdings. Please, come in. You're welcome here any time." The use of his first name seemed to surprise him, and he cautiously did as you asked. The name felt foreign on your tongue, perhaps a touch too intimate. Though, with what you intended to say to him- whether it be tonight or whenever you finally found the nerve- that didn't really matter.

You motioned for him to sit down on the couch, so he did. You took the spot beside him, leaving at least a foot of personal space. The possibility that Sans had told him of your plan crossed your mind. Oh god, what if he was here to tell you why it couldn't happen? Would your friendship end? It took all your willpower to silence those worries and focus on the present moment. "What's on your mind?"

Gaster's trembling had lessened to be concentrated solely in his hands. With a deep breath, he forced himself to look at you. "_____. As of late, I have realized just how much you mean to me. You're a kind, patient person, and very tolerant. Even when I ramble, which, I, ah, know I do quite often. L-like right now. You talk so little and yet you manage to put up with someone who says so much nonsense, it must be very irritating to deal with-"

"Gaster," you interjected as coolly as you could manage. There was _no way_ he was actually-

"...and you always bring me back to focus when I get lost," he sighed, smiling fondly. If only he knew that he did the same for you, albeit silently. It was so much easier to clear your mind when he looked at you like that. "You possess so many admirable traits. You're sweet, intelligent, an absolute pleasure to be around- I-I could go on like this for hours but what I mean to say is..."

If he was really saying what you thought he was saying, you were going to have a heart attack right then and there.

"...I really...y-you're...I think I m-may be i-in l-l-lo...er, I-I'm..." His face fell when he couldn't form the words, looking more and more discouraged as he struggled. He swallowed thickly, blinking back tears. "Oh b-blast, I h-had the whole thing planned out-"

You interjected before he could burst right into tears. "Wait, it's okay! I understand what you're trying to tell me and-" Your face was on fire, you could only look at his chest as your heart raced. "I...feel the same way about you."

He was very quiet and very still for an uncomfortably long time. A cold feeling of dread settled in the pit of your stomach. Had you misunderstood? Perhaps in your enthusiasm, you'd taken his words the wrong way...and made an utter fool of yourself.

Your worst fears coming to life, you lifted your gaze to his face.

He looked awestruck. When your eyes met, he had only one word to say.

"Truly?" There was still a trace of fear in his face, yet his eyes shone with hope. You wanted them to keep looking that way. Forever, if you could help it.

"Yes." You clasped his hand in both of yours, hoping to convey your sincerity through the touch. You realized he wasn't wearing his gloves. Well duh, of course he wouldn't be, you weren't at work. His skin was warm and soft, and his hand shook even more when you gripped it tighter. Your fingers traced absentmindedly around the hole in his palm, making him shudder. It must be ticklish, you realized, storing that fun fact away for future use. You watched him bring his other hand to cup your face, his long fingers reaching all the way to the side of your head.

"That's...good to hear," he said softly. His face was growing brighter by the second, as if the truth was slowly dawning on him. "It's better than good it's...incredible, amazing..." He sighed. "You're amazing."

"Heh. You're pretty great too, doc..." You couldn't help but lean into his touch. "Do you...mind if I call you Wingdings? It's such a cute name."

You felt a thrill of satisfaction when he flushed a light purple. "O-of course." His thumb began to stroke your cheek. "Though how anything about me could be 'cute' is baffling."

"What? You're adorable!" you insisted, intertwining your fingers with the hand you held. "A precious little cinnamon roll...well, not little. You're like, super tall. But still."

Gaster, honest to god, giggled. "Well, I'm glad you think so. Though I think you are much more precious." You wanted nothing more than to kiss him in that moment, and were seriously considering going for it, when a shrill beep from the kitchen made you both jump in surprise.

"Oh, right. The cookies." They'd completely slipped your mind. "I was, uh, baking before you came over," you told him sheepishly.

Gaster chuckled, removing his hands. You missed their warmth already. "Well, you'd better go get them out before they burn." When you lingered, he brushed a hand over yours and mumbled, "I'll still be here when you get back."

And so, regrettably, you left his lovely presence to take the cookies out of the oven. They were chocolate chip, a classic, and filled the kitchen with a heavenly aroma. You piled a few of them on a plate, poured two glasses of milk, and carried it all back to the living room. This was hard to accomplish, but you successfully managed to set the carefully balanced plate and cups on the coffee table without dropping anything.

"I thought you should be the first to sample my work," you told him, smiling as you settled back into your spot. "They still need to cool, though, so we've got a few minutes."

"Whatever for?" Gaster questioned. After a moment's hesitation, he cautiously slid an arm around your shoulders and shifted closer.

"Oh, I don't know. We could talk about the weather, play some chess..." You found yourself snuggling into to his side. "...or do this."

"Ah." One hand came up to play with your hair. "I like that idea." He curiously threaded his fingers through the strands, pausing when you closed your eyes. "Is this uncomfortable?" he asked.

"No," you sighed. "It's nice."

"Ah, g-good." The motions continued. "I've never had hair, so I wouldn't know what it feels like." A deep chuckle resounded in his chest. "Many monsters _do_ have hair- or fur, rather- but I couldn't exactly go up to them and ask to touch it."

You snorted. "You could, but I'm not sure how welcome that'd be. But you can touch mine any time you'd like." Since your eyes were still closed, you didn't see how much your comment had made him blush.

"Ah. W-well, that's good." After another minute or so of his petting, he spoke again. "It's very soft." He finally relinquished all reluctance and nuzzled his face into the top of your head. "Smells nice, too," he added softly.

Now it was your turn to blush. "Th-that's, uh, probably my conditioner. It's honeysuckle." You could feel his warm breath breeze against your scalp and down your neck, the sensation making you shiver.

"Mm." He stayed like that for a little while. You didn't mind at all. It seemed to calm him down a great deal, his jitters disappearing as he breathed in the floral scent. Eventually, he pulled away just enough to see your face. "What's a honeysuckle?"

"Uh...right, I guess they didn't have those in the Underground. It's a type of flower. They have really sweet nectar, and when they're in season you can even drink it from them. I think there are some at the park." You grinned slyly. "Maybe we could go there sometime and I'll show you."

"I'd like that." He gazed at you dreamily, stars practically sparkling in his eyes. No one had ever looked at you that way before. Something unnamable, yet very warm, struck you square in the heart.

You got lost in his eyes for a few moments before you found a distraction. "Uh, the cookies should be cool by now. Wanna try one?" He nodded, so you plucked one off the plate and handed it to him.

You caught a glimpse of his gleaming fangs as he opened his mouth to take a bite. It reminded you of that day, which felt like forever ago, when you first realized your attraction to him. Oh, how it'd grown since then.

He caught you staring. "They're great," he said cheerfully. "Would you like to try?" You nodded. He began to lean towards the table to get you a cookie but you pulled him back. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you gazed at his confused face for a brief moment before pressing your lips to his.

He froze at first, shocked, but soon returned the kiss. In a few seconds you had parted your lips slightly, and he did the same. You could still taste the chocolate on his tongue, along with some other flavor you didn't recognize. It was him. You were tasting him. The realization drove you mad, and you deepened the kiss even further. It was with great reluctance that you both pulled away for air, gasping.

You stared at each other blankly. You were the one to break the silence. "You're right," you said shakily. "It's delicious."

"O-oh." He was growing steadily more violet. "Oh m-my we just-" Blushing furiously, he hid his face in his hands.

You snorted, wrapping your arms around him once again. "Yeah, we did." You pulled one of his hands away to peck him on the cheek. He sighed as though annoyed, but when he pressed his face into your hair, you knew he was only trying to hide his delight. It had been obvious in the radiant smile he'd failed to conceal.

You spent the rest of the night cuddled together, snacking on cookies and watching movies, interspersed with more nervous, giddy, _incredible_ bouts of kissing. It was like the first time he'd come over, but this visit was a _lot_ more fun. You were fairly certain you'd wake up in his arms again- on purpose this time!- and the thought filled you with contentment. This was sure to be the beginning of something wonderful.


	14. The Bitch is Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see a new side to Gaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is the last update for today, I've just had nothing to do this weekend so I spent most of it writing :S

Work was even better than before. Every day, you met with your boyfriend- your boyfriend, Gaster was your _boyfriend_ now- and wasted a few minutes to catch up with each other before getting to the project. You tried to keep the affection to a minimum in the workplace, but at times you just couldn't help yourselves.

Gaster often used his ghostly hands to complete tasks. They'd float all around the room, carrying things and scribbling down notes. When you found one that wasn't preoccupied, and had a free hand yourself, you'd often take it from the air and simply hold it. Other times, he would walk up behind you while you were busy and wrap his arms around your waist; peering over your shoulder to see what you were doing, nuzzling into your hair, and generally being an adorable distraction.

Most of all, Gaster seemed to be very fond of kisses. Not the particularly passionate kind (though you were both becoming pretty good at that) but also light, chaste pecks of affection on your cheeks, forehead, hands, and lately your nose. It was incredibly cute behavior. Needless to say, he was never opposed to getting the same sort of affection in return, and you made an effort to see him blush multiple times a day.

You thought nothing could bring you down. Karma came to you in the form of a disgruntled, grouchy old scientist.

As a supervisor, it was Doctor Bick's job to check in on those who worked under him. You could respect that. No matter how much of an ass he was, you couldn't begrudge anyone for doing their job. It was the frequency with which he 'checked' on your particular room that disturbed you. You had been under the impression that you and Gaster weren't too obvious about your relationship. You did as you pleased in your own lab, seeing as no one else was there, but behaved as usual when on breaks, at meetings, or any times when you were around other coworkers. Then again, you'd always been openly affectionate to each other, just in a more friendly than romantic way. Perhaps Bick had been suspicious for a long time, perhaps you two hadn't been as subtle as you'd thought. Whatever the case may be, Bick was being more of a jerk than ever.

Gaster was out of the room again when Bick finally made his move.

"_____." You cringed at the sound of that stuffy, pompous voice, and reluctantly turned around to face its owner.

"Yes, Doctor Bick? What is it this time?" He'd have to forgive the exasperation in your tone, because you were doing nothing to disguise it. This was the third time he'd stopped in today.

Bick tactfully ignored the disrespect and continued. "There's a reason I've been coming here so frequently. I figured it is about time I voice my suspicions."

Great, here we go. "And what might those be, Bit-" It took a great amount of self-control to correct yourself. "Bick?"

"That's _Doctor_ Bick, to you," he snapped. "While there is no written rule against workplace relationships, our company strictly advises against such-"

"If it's not affecting our work, what does it matter?" you asked defensively.

"Do _not_ interrupt me!" Bick stepped forward until he was nearly snarling in your face. You retreated, shocked, and admittedly a little scared. " _I_ am in charge here, and you would do well to remember it! I _cannot_ believe I am forced to work with such a selfish, arrogant-!"

"Doctor Bick." Unbeknownst to you both, Gaster had stepped back in the room. His voice was uncharacteristically cold and harsh, completely unlike you'd ever heard him before. He towered over the two of you, his face blank. You often forgot how  _huge_ he really was, though it was normally endearing. Right now, it was only terrifying. "That was completely uncalled for," he said icily.

Bick blinked in surprise. "...yes. Yes it was. Forgive me, that was very unprofessional." His voice was small, sounding nearly as scared as you felt. "But-"

"It _was_ ," Gaster nearly snapped. Bick didn't seem to mind being interrupted this time. "I don't care if you're in charge, I will _not_  allow you to insult anyone here. Not me, and especially not my colleagues. Are we clear?" You knew Gaster's words weren't directed to you, but they made you shiver all the same. He was intimidating when he got angry.

Bick didn't even give a response. He simply opened his mouth, closed it, and walked briskly from the room. Gaster released a deep breath and turned towards you, his expression softening immediately. Noting your discomfort, he winced. "I hate to use my 'boss voice', but sometimes it's a necessity." Worried, his hands began to fidget. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"Oh- y-you didn't," you lied. That had definitely been shocking. Still, in the aftermath, seeing him get all protective of you like that...it also gave you the warm and fuzzies. You smiled. "Thanks for sticking up for me, Wingdings."

He melted a little at the way you said his name. "Of course, love." He scowled briefly. "He had no right to be treating you that way."

"Pfft. Bick treats everyone like shit."

"Not me."

"Yeah, because you're damn _terrifying_  when you're-" You faltered at his guilty expression. "...mad. But you weren't scary to me! Just to him." You picked up his hand and squeezed it lightly. "Honest."

He still didn't look reassured. Smirking, you brought his hand to your lips and gave it a light kiss. When you were done with that, you placed it on your chest over your heart. From the dazed look on his face, and the purple dusted across it, he looked about ready to swoon. Success!

"W-w-well. If you're sure," he mumbled.

"Positive." Something occurred to you and you grimaced. "I just hope Bick doesn't tell on us."

"Hmph. I doubt it." Gaster started threading his fingers through your hair. "To be honest, I don't care if he does."


	15. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad gets together at last.

The house looked larger than you'd expected. Maybe that was because you were nervous. Gaster kept his arm draped comfortably around your shoulders the whole way up the sidewalk, wearing a different sweater for the occasion. It was a pale cobalt blue, still a turtleneck though, and the color complemented his eyes well.

Said house belonged to a few members of Gaster's family. Although he had had no living relations to speak of, his friends had become just as valuable as any blood relatives. And now, you were going to meet them.

He'd brought up the idea when you were out on your "first proper date", as he had put it. It was an absolutely lovely time. You'd simply walked together to a new café down the street, yet you treasured every second of it. After you both sat down with your coffee, you caught him staring in your direction with a strange look on his face.

"What?" you asked. "Is my hair sticking up again?"

He chuckled and shook his head, though he smoothed your hair down anyway. "No, I was just thinking about something..." He tapped a finger on the table in thought. "You already know Sans, but how would you like to meet the rest of my friends? We're having a get together this Saturday and they said I could bring you. If you'd like to come, that is."

"Oh." The question caught you by surprise. You considered it carefully. "Do you-" It seemed silly to ask, but you had to say it anyway. "Do you think they'll...like me? I mean, you know I act kinda weird around new people-" Gaster put a finger over your lips, looking stern. You raised an eyebrow at him. "I can still talk while you do this, you know."

He sighed, smiling, and withdrew his hand. "Of course they'll like you. I liked you right from the start."

"Yeah, but you like everyone," you countered.

"Hardly," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Bick doesn't count, no one likes him."

"_____." He looked serious now. "They'll love you. Trust me. And please-" He placed a hand on your thigh beneath the table. "Stop shaking your leg. You'll knock the table over."

You hadn't even known you were doing that. His sudden touch made you blush, seeing as his hand was very close to your-

"Right. Sorry," you apologized. Gaster pulled back, completely unaware of what he'd just done. "And...okay. I'll go."

He looked ecstatic. "Wonderful! We'll have a great time, I just know it."

So here you were, getting closer and closer to the front door of Frisk's house. Frisk was the human child who had fallen in the Underground and broke the barrier, freeing all the monsters. How exactly a 9 year old had done that, no one knew for certain. They lived with Toriel, who was their mother, as well as Sans and his brother. Their friends Alphys and Undyne lived a few blocks away. The two were visiting at Frisk's place for the hangout.

You swallowed hard as Gaster removed his arm from you to knock on the door, your heart rate increasing when it was opened by a tall, white...goat?

Her smile was warm and matronly. "Hello, Wingdings. You're right on time. This must be _____," she said, turning her attention to you. She gave a little wave. "Greetings, my name is Toriel! We've all been very excited to meet you."

"You have?" You blinked. "I mean- uh, hi. I'm _____. Wait, you already knew that." Great going, genius.

Toriel laughed, the sound bright and airy. "Oh, it's alright. Please, come in." She waved you both inside with an enormous, fuzzy paw. Gaster gave your cheek a quick, encouraging nuzzle when her back was turned. And suddenly, the embarrassment from your minor slip up was fading. Upon your entry to the living room, a tall skeleton, who could only be Papyrus, jumped up excitedly from the couch.

"HELLO, DOCTOR. I AM GLAD YOU HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED. IS THIS _____?" He didn't wait for confirmation. "WOWIE! YOU WEREN'T LYING, THEY _ARE_ VERY PRETTY!"

Oh. Wow, yeah, you were definitely blushing. At least you knew what Gaster had been telling them about you now. Sans snickered, still immobile on the couch. "hey bud. you'll have to forgive paps, he's really been looking forward to this."

You gave a nervous laugh, waving your hand dismissively. "Hey Sans. It's fine." You addressed Papyrus. "I've been wanting to meet you too. Sans says you're really cool," you told him with a grin.

"I _AM_ VERY COOL. THE COOLEST! OH, THAT REMINDS ME! I SHOULD BE A GOOD HOST AND GET YOU A DRINK. WE HAVE SOME EXCELLENT FRESH LEMONADE, MADE BY YOURS TRULY! BE RIGHT BACK, MY NEW FRIEND!"

You watched him dash away to the kitchen. "Oh my god," you whispered, looking at Sans. "He's adorable."

"told ya."

Your introduction to Undyne went much the same way: with great enthusiasm and lots of yelling. Her short, reptilian girlfriend was much more like yourself. After talking for a bit, you discovered you had quite a lot in common. Not only did you both fall on the calmer, more introverted side, but were also both engineers and into all sorts of fandoms. Frisk was an absolutely adorable kid. They didn't speak at all, though fortunately you understood enough sign language to communicate with them.

Papyrus made somewhat edible spaghetti, Toriel made incredible pie, and within the first hour you understood why Gaster had been so eager for you to come with him. This was a blast! At first, he stayed close by your side. Once he saw that you were having fun, he was comfortable with giving more attention to his friends, catching up and joining in on their conversations. You ended up playing Mario Kart with Frisk. The kid was good, _too_ good, and kicked your butt a number of times.

The evening took a dramatic turn when someone new walked through the door. "Why helloooo, darlings!"

Was that Mettaton? What was he doing here?! You wouldn't call yourself a super fan of his- okay, well, you'd bought all of his albums, and watched a few interviews, and saw his movie- but knowing an actual celebrity was standing right there before you was still a little jarring. You also had to admire him from a scientific standpoint. Engineering and robotics were your thing, of course you'd find him fascinating.

And those legs... _damn_.

"Oh, h-hello Mettaton." Though she stuttered, Alphys didn't sound at all surprised to see him. "Glad you could make it." Sans looked less than thrilled, but said nothing as the others greeted the robot. You didn't say anything either, though it was more because you couldn't form any coherent words.

"And who might this be?" Mettaton sashayed over to where you sat on the floor, Wii controller in hand.

A stuttery "I'm-" was about all you could manage. Fortunately, Undyne was there to save you.

"This is _____," she informed him. "They're a good friend of Doc's. A really, _really_ good friend if you know what I- hey!" She broke off when Toriel bapped her on the head with a rolled up magazine. Okay, maybe she didn't save you, but at least you didn't embarrass yourself too much.

Mettaton laughed, bending over to see you closer. "Oh, how precious. I'm sure I don't need to tell you my name?"

You nodded your head, then shook it, then decided you should probably talk instead. "Um, yeah, I know who you are." And wasn't _that_ the understatement of the century. "Hi."

He extended a gloved hand. You set the controller down to shake it. "It's a pleasure to meet you, darling. Would that mean you're a fan?"

Eh, what the hell. There was no denying it. "Yeah. I, uh, really liked your latest album," you said sheepishly, knowing he'd probably heard that a thousand times. "It had a pretty different sound than the others."

"Oh? How so?"

"Well, uh-" You weren't expecting a follow up question. "The lyrics, mostly. They had a new theme. Kind of melancholy, but I liked it."

To your surprise, he sat on the floor beside you, crossing his legs. "I'm surprised you noticed," he said. "Most people don't point that out. Are you a musician, by any chance? Perhaps a writer?"

Well, this was unexpected. No harm in showing off a little, right? "No, not recently. I played a few instruments in high school, but I've quit since then. And, uh-" You smiled uncertainly. "I don't write, but I read a lot?"

"You should take up music again, darling. It's good for the soul." He smirked, cocking his head to the side. "And I must admit, you have the right look for the stage." You couldn't help the slight blush that arose at that comment, refusing to admit to yourself that you were finding a robot attractive. "Well," he said suddenly, rising from the floor. "It's been lovely talking to you, but I need to give some attention to everyone else. I'll look you up on Facebook, darling. Toodles!" Waving his fingers, he sauntered over to the kitchen where Undyne and Papyrus were having a cooking lesson.

You sat, stunned, until you felt Frisk nudge your arm. They waggled their eyebrows at you. You snorted. "I'm guessing he's always like that?" you asked.

" _Usually_ ," they replied. " _But I think he really liked what you said about his music. Will you accept his friend request?_ "

You were confused until Mettaton's parting comment played itself back in your mind. "Being Facebook friends with Mettaton? Heck yeah." You turned around to face the couch. "Hey Sans, aren't you gonna go say hi?"

The skeleton grimaced as much as he was able. "nah. i'm comfy here." You were about to say something to Gaster as well, but noticed something strange. He looked stiff, his face drawn as if he were in pain as he stared vacantly at a wall. You immediately crawled up on the couch beside him and started fretting. "Are you alright? You're not sick, are you?"

Surprised, he blinked and shot you a very strained smile. "No. I-I'm fine, just...just a headache."

That sounded suspiciously...fake. "Do you need some medicine or something? I think I have some in the car."

"Ah, no. That won't be necessary, it's not that bad." His face softened. "Really."

You weren't convinced, but dropped it. "Alright. If you're sure." You kissed his forehead, cupping his cheek with one hand. "But let me know if it gets worse."

Sans let out a whistle. When you looked over, he and Frisk were grinning at you. You stuck your tongue out at them, and they both returned the gesture. You were relieved when Gaster laughed. He looked a little better now.

Eventually, the visit came to an end. Frisk was sent off to bed and you said your goodbyes, promising to come back again sometime. Gaster was quiet on the drive home. You worried about his headache, but he assured you it had gone away. Maybe he was just worn out.

When you returned home, you invited him into your apartment. "I know it's late, but it's the weekend after all."

Gaster hesitated. "Sorry, dear, but I'm...very tired. Tonight was wonderful though. I'm glad you finally got to meet everyone."

"That's fine, go get some sleep." Stepping forward, you hugged him tightly. He returned it, holding on for a while, before heading silently down the hallway. 

Back in your own room, you gave Mortimer a quick pat on the head and pulled out your phone. You were tired as well, but there was one more thing to do. Sure enough, there was a Facebook notification on the screen. With a tap, you accepted Mettaton's friend request. You wondered when you'd next get to hang out with your new friends, hoping it would be soon.


	16. Inadequacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have some fun with friends, but one of them isn't enjoying it much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep telling myself to take a break from this corny freaking story, and then suddenly I'm already writing the next chapter. But then again I am an adult, if I want to spend my free time writing cheesy romance fanfiction that's what I'm gonna do. Hopefully you guys don't mind the frequent updates. Would it be better if I spaced them out more? :S

After much persuasion, you finally convinced Gaster to take a trip with you and Sans to Grillby's. He'd only relented when you mentioned that Grillby wanted to see him. Bars didn't seem like his favorite kind of place, but he'd be willing to go for a friend. You may have also been secretly hoping to get him drunk. A little tipsy, at the very least. He was probably adorable, all clumsy like that.

Just like on the first night you had found the place, it was raining. You were shocked when Grillby walked out from behind the bar to hug you. He let his flames grow brighter and hotter, and it soon became obvious he was trying to warm you up. When he stepped back, your clothes were much more dry.

"Aw, thanks Grillbz!" you gushed. He patted your head and stepped back behind the bar.

"what, don't I get a hug?" Sans opened his arms wide, but Grillby only chuckled and shook his head. "ack, I'm heartbroken," Sans said in mock anguish.

"...Skeletons don't even have hearts," Grillby crackled. "It's good to see you again, Gaster."

The scientist nodded. "Likewise," he replied, perhaps a bit too tersely. You hoped that being in an unfamiliar place wasn't stressing him out. He'd seemed more on edge ever since your hangout at Frisk's place. Though you'd asked him every hour if his headache had returned, he always assured you that he felt fine. It would take a mindreader to find out what was bothering him. You figured he would eventually tell you if he needed to talk about it.

You ordered a round of beers for your group. "Drinks are on me this time, Sans. You've gotta quit putting things on your tab and actually _pay_ Grillby at some point," you said dryly.

"hey, i won't turn down free drinks. and me 'n grillbz have a system going, don't we?" He winked at the bartender. "i come in and keep people entertained with my bone-a fide sense of humor, which means they stay longer, which means they buy more drinks and food, which leads to better business."

"Really?" you asked in a disbelieving tone, pretending not to notice his pun.

Grillby shrugged. "There's a reason I let him get away with it...he got you to keep coming here. You really..." He paused. "...warm up the place."

"Oh my god, not you too," you groaned. Grillby patted your hand in an almost apologetic manner. Sans was cracking up, and Gaster...well, he was smiling, but you didn't like how forced it looked. He sipped his drink and stared at a crack in the bar's countertop. You really needed to have a talk with him and see what was up.

Later, though. For now, you'd try to get him to enjoy himself. You tried with a pun of your own. "Well, coming in here never fails to _brighten_ my day."

Sans, having just recovered from his previous laughter, lost it again. "i'm so proud of both of you," he said, pretending to wipe away a tear. "they're pretty talented, eh 'dings?"

"Mhm." Gaster took another swig. "Real comedians."

You sighed, disappointed. The jokes only seemed to make him retreat further. You felt a little guilty for putting him out of his element. Ah, well, you'd make it up to him later.

Sans, sensing the tension, started telling you all about something funny Papyrus had done the other day. Grillby followed with an anecdote about an unruly patron who had started dancing on one of the tables. The quiet bartender's dry, yet vivid descriptions had you almost crying with laughter. You gave a little tidbit about a mishap at work where you nearly started a food fight (by accident, of course) in the lab cafeteria. You tried to get Gaster in on the storytelling, but he remained mostly silent.

Eventually, you couldn't take it anymore. "Welp." You forced a yawn and stretched for added believeability. "It's been fun guys, but I think it's time I head home for the night. Are you coming, Wingdings?" You knew he loved it when you used his first name, and smiled when he perked up a bit.

"Yes, I believe I'm finished as well." He slid his half-finished bottle onto the bar. "It was nice seeing you both again," he told the others.

"fur real? i can bear-ly believe you want to leave so soon," Sans said, grinning. "but i can bear it."

You snorted. "You can't use the same pun twice in a row, Sans."

"i just did."

Grillby interrupted before you two could go on any further. "...are you okay to drive? You didn't drink much, but I don't know how much alcohol you can...bear."

You were indeed okay, as you'd barely- oh, godammit, hardly touched your beer. Not to mention that monster-made alcohol was incredibly ineffective for humans. With another wave goodbye, you led the way back to the car. The rain hadn't let up, unfortunately. You opened the passenger door for Gaster and beckoned him in. "After you, my love."

He gave you a half-hearted smile and ducked inside. Once you were in the driver's seat, you pulled out your keys and set them on the dashboard. He looked at you curiously while you thought for a few moments.

"Is something wrong?" Gaster asked.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." You turned to face him. "What's on your mind? You've been weirdly quiet all evening."

His expression, which had briefly grown concerned, forced itself back into a smile. "Nothing, dear."

"Wingdings." You reached over and took his hand. "Please. I'm not going to force you to talk about it, but I hate seeing you like this."

Looking at the hand you held, his face fell. "It's... _stupid_..." he murmured.

"If it's affecting you this badly, then no. It's not stupid at all." Your thumb began rubbing over his knuckles. "You can talk to me."

For a moment you believed you'd gotten through to him...then he pulled his hand from your grasp. "Later."

You heaved a sigh. "Alright. At home?" He didn't answer but only nodded stiffly, keeping his gaze fixed on the windshield. While driving, you noticed his hands begin to start twitching. They were nearly fluttering by the time you finally got back to your apartment building. Normally, when you two spent time together, you would do so at your place. Considering Gaster's current mood, though, he might be more comfortable in his own home.

The room was just as one would expect for someone like him: cozy, tidy, and overflowing with books. You led Gaster inside and sat him down on the loveseat, ready to have a serious talk.

He wouldn't look at you for a while. You could almost see the thoughts flying around his head, mirrored by the movement of his hands. You let him have some space and time to think. Finally, he met your eyes.

"D-do you find me attractive?"

The bluntness sent you reeling. "...what?"

"It was a fairly straightforward question, I thought." His already worried face was now tinged with a trace of hurt.

"What the-? Well of course I do! We're dating, aren't we?"

"Yes b-but- It's just-" He took a deep breath, steadying himself. "When you met M-Mettaton, a few days ago. I don't know, it was the w-way you looked at him..." Seeing your jaw drop, he hastily tried to explain. "I told you, it's _ridiculous_ , but I can't help but feel a little...inadequate." He looked away again. "Especially after tonight. Grillby is an old friend of mine, I know he wouldn't b-betray me- I know _you_ wouldn't either- b-but...he even _hugged_ you-"

You finally regained your voice. "So I'm not allowed to be affectionate towards my friends?"

His head shot up. "No! I m-mean, yes, you are allowed to do whatever you wish, but no that's not what I- I-" He paused, closing his eyes to regain his composure. "Th-this is my first...relationship," he confessed. "I don't know how to...deal...with feelings like this. Or if I should even be having them. I'm so sorry." Looking utterly defeated, he hid his face in his hands.

You felt a wave of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, this jealousy was completely uncalled for. You didn't want to be with Mettaton! Admiring a celebrity was a long way away from wanting to date them. And Grillby was more like a father figure. You were sure any affection the bartender showed towards you was paternal, not flirtatious. Once, he'd even said you reminded him of his daughter, Fuku. Apparently he missed her since she'd grown up and moved out on her own, and having you around the bar helped him feel like a parent again.

Yet just as strongly, you were overwhelmed by a strong sense of guilt. Seeing how much this had affected Gaster hurt your heart. You'd had no idea you were his first partner, either. Suddenly, his worries made a lot more sense.

"Hey." You reached out and rubbed his back comfortingly. He didn't budge. "Please, look at me."

"...you deserve better than some scarred up f- _freak_." His voice was uncharacteristically low and toneless, the words sending another pang through your chest. You brought your other hand to his face and tilted it towards you. He resisted the pull at first, then sighed and allowed it.

"First of all, you are _not_ a freak. And secondly, appearances are by far not the most important part of a relationship- but I think happen to think you're very attractive." You kept your eyes steadily on his as you spoke, trailing a finger along one scar, then the other. "No, you're more than that. You're..." Your face grew heated as you recalled an old memory. "Remember the first time you stayed over here? When you were helping me with that assignment?"

"Y-yes?" There was a dream-like quality to his voice, his expression slightly dazed.

"Well in the morning," you continued. "I woke up with you, uh, sorta...holding on to me." You blushed a deeper red. "And I managed to get up without waking you. When I did, you toppled right over on the couch. I have no idea how you didn't wake up, you fell pretty hard- but, uh, anyway, while you were lying there, in that early morning sunlight," you said quietly, fidgeting. "I thought you were the most beautiful person I'd ever seen in my life."

Such sentimentality was not at all typical for you, and Gaster knew that. You even found yourself a little embarrassed by it. However, it was made completely worth it when the stress and sadness slipped away from his face to be replaced with awe.

Remarkably, you managed to find your voice. "I don't want anyone else but you, okay?"

He didn't respond with words, but by hugging you so tight it almost hurt. You felt more than heard the rumble of his voice when he finally sighed a faint, "I know."


	17. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The power goes out.

The rain from last week came back with a vengeance that day, now in the form of the coolest type of weather: a thunderstorm. Not only was it an excuse to stay cozied up inside- potentially even cuddled up with your favorite monster- but it also gave you a chance to watch the magnificent strikes of lightning splintering across the sky. At least, when work ended. For now, you had to listen wistfully to the booming claps of thunder that nearly shook the lab.

Gaster was not enjoying it as much.

This was actually the first thunderstorm he'd ever experienced in person. The barrier had been opened around late autumn, meaning the monsters' first few months above ground were spent in wintertime. Many of them were used to snow and light rain (apparently it could precipitate inside a mountain, who knew?), but other, more extreme types of weather were entirely foreign to them. It was now early spring, when the rainy season began, bringing with it plenty of storms. Gaster nearly jumped out of his skin at the first massive crash before you explained what it was. He had heard of thunder before, probably in a book, but...

"I didn't know it was quite this loud," he remarked, flinching as another one echoed through the building. "...what did you say it was, again?"

"The sound the lightning makes. I think," you answered. That was a simplified explanation but it was all that came to mind. "You know about lightning, right?"

Gaster waved a hand flippantly. "Yes, yes, the discharges of electricity from the sky caused by-" Another boom. "-EEP!"

For a few seconds, you only gaped. Then came the laughter. "Did you seriously...?" You took a moment to control your giggles. "Did you just _squeal_?"

He was turning very purple. "It's n-not funny! How does that-" He pointed towards the ceiling. "-not frighten you at all?!"

You shrugged. "Dunno. I like it. I bet you'll like it too when you get to watch the lightning."

"I highly doubt it," Gaster muttered. D'aw, was he pouting? You opened your mouth to say something else snarky in response before you heard the biggest crack of thunder yet. Not even a second later, the room was plunged into darkness.

"What the-" You blinked, unable to discern a thing in the inky blackness. "Well shit. The power must have gone out." Silence. "Gaster?" Yet more silence. Huh. You stumbled forward, reaching out before you. "You okay? I can't see where I'm going, so forgive me if I trip over your feet-" You collided with something, though it was too hard to be a person. Probably furniture. "Ow, okay. I don't know what that was." You smacked your hand to your forehead as something obvious came to mind. "Here, I'll use the flashlight on my phone."

A small circle of light illuminated the space before you. Gaster was standing a little more to the left than you'd remembered. You made your way towards him. "There you are! Why are you being so...quiet...?" Your words trailed off at the look on his face. "...W-wingdings?"

He looked on the verge of panic: hunched over, eyes wide, breathing shallow, visibly shaking, one hand clutching his chest- and you felt like the world's biggest asshole.

"Oh no, no, sweetheart I'm so sorry-" You hurriedly made your way to his side, setting your phone face down on a table so it kept the room partially lit. As soon as you neared his trembling form you reached out, but pulled back before touching him, afraid of making his panic worse. "I shouldn't have teased you, thunder can be really scary when you're not used to it." He looked at you, looked _through_ you; he didn't seem to realize you were there.

Slowly, he blinked back into focus, as if returning from somewhere far, far away. "..._____?" he asked in confusion. "Oh. F-forgive me, it's....it's n-not the thunder." His shaking had lessened, but a tremble remained in his voice and hands. The hand on his chest loosened its grip as you took it and gave a light squeeze.

"Then what?" You didn't like how timid and distant he sounded, nor the hollow look in his eyes. Coming to a realization, you glanced around at the inky blackness surrounding your circle of light. "The darkness?"

He turned his head, ashamed. "I'm far too old for such a fear, but..." He laughed, though there was no humor in the sound. "Y-yes. It feels so...s-so s _uffocating_." His breathing had picked up in tempo, and you knew you had to calm him down fast before he began hyperventilating.

It seemed alright to touch him now, so you immediately released his hand and pulled him into a hug. "It's okay, just breathe. You're safe."

He sighed into your hair, hugging you back. "I know." For a while, he let you hold him like that, his tremors slowly subsiding. You were relieved when he relaxed, his stiff form melting right into your arms. His voice was quiet when he spoke again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my composure."

"Hey, how many times have you had to calm me down after I freaked out? And, you didn't even freak out, you just...got a little scared. That's fine. Besides, lots of people are afraid of the dark," you protested, not entirely sure what might make him feel better. "But...if you don't mind me asking, is there a...uh, reason? That you're afraid of it, I mean. It might help to know the cause."

He stiffened, and for a moment you feared you'd gone too far. "It's alright, you don't have to tell me," you quickly added.

"N-no, I would like to, actually. I just, ah..." He clung to you a bit tighter. "I c-can't. Not...not now."

"Of course." You stood still while he nuzzled back into your hair, breathing much more evenly. Sans' words from before, on the night Gaster had confessed to you, echoed through your mind. You were beginning to see what he'd meant by "still hurting". So what was the "awful shit" Gaster had gone through? Curiosity and concern gnawed at your mind, but you pushed them both back. Now was not the time to pry. It was best to let Gaster divulge only what he wanted you to know. And you'd be there, helping him hold his shaky self together, just as he'd done so kindly for you.

"You know what? I think I know what might help." You stepped back, keeping your hands on his arms. "I'm just gonna head over to my bag, so you stay here with the flashlight, okay?"

He shifted uncertainly. "I'd, ah, rather not...be alone. If that's alright. And anyway-" He picked up your phone and offered it to you. "You'll need this to see what you're doing."

"Oh. Right." Duh. "You can still hold the light though," you said, pushing it back into his hand. "Just keep it pointed where we're going." In this way, the two of you managed to walk across the room without bumping into anything. Gaster held the light above as you dug through your work bag. "Where are you...aha!" You triumphantly raised the object above your head.

"A candle? Why am I not surprised you keep one with you?" Gaster said bemusedly.

" _Three_ candles," you corrected, pulling two more from the bag. "Three _cinnamon scented_ candles. Enough to give us some light without killing our phone batteries." You grinned. "Plus, call me old-fashioned, but nothing beats ambient candle lighting."

"Hm. Sounds rather...romantic." Gaster brushed a finger over your cheek, quirking an eyebrow when you snorted in amusement. "I am _trying_ to be sweet. You're not supposed to laugh," he huffed.

"Cornball."

You set the candles around the lab, lighting them with a candle lighter you _technically_ weren't allowed to bring to work but snuck in your bag anyway. They filled your work area with a gentle glow, permeating surprisingly far into dark corners and crevices. You were relieved by the distinct lack of tension and fear on Gaster's face, though he was still jumpy at the thunder and his hands twitched more than was usual. When the power finally flicked back on, neither of you bothered to blow the candles out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you all know exactly why he was freaking out, but reader doesn't know about the, ah...incident. Not yet, at least.


	18. Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sin chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Nothing too graphic, but this chapter is very suggestive and gets close to being graphic because I'm trash ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You could skip this and you wouldn't miss any plot (is there even a plot in this fic?) whatsoever, it's pure fluff.

Gaster's attention to detail never failed to impress you. He was astute and watchful, noticing each of your subtle reactions. He knew your sensitive spots, and was well aware that running his hands along your ribs, like he was doing right now, was sure to make you shudder. He also knew about that spot at the crook of your neck, and peppered a line of kisses along the area while his hands were busy. A number of floating, magical hands busied themselves while his first two were occupied. One ran its nimble fingers through your hair, there were a pair of them rubbing your shoulders, another pressed into the small of your back to keep you close...

Not like it needed to. You didn't intend on going anywhere.

What had started out as innocent cuddling had quickly escalated into...this. You'd been reclining on Gaster's couch after a particularly trying day when he emerged from his bedroom carrying a heap of soft blankets and pillows. He set to work stacking them on and around you, making sure you were cozy, before joining you under the blankets. "You've seemed rather stressed today," he'd said worriedly, kneading at your stiff neck with gentle fingers. "I thought being warm might help you feel better."

"Oh." You weren't aware that he had noticed your sour mood. "It does," you'd said, smiling. He'd smiled back, and you buried your face against his chest to get comfy. It was then you noticed something different. "Are you..." You peeked up at him curiously. "Wearing cologne...?"

Gaster had blushed and looked down. "Ah...I know you like scented things, so I thought I'd...d-do you like it?"

Humming in thought, you leaned into him again. "I love it," you said decidedly. You couldn't exactly place what it smelled like, but it mingled well with his natural scent. "It suits you."

He'd chuckled then, massaging his fingers harder into your neck to relieve the taut muscles. That had caused you to crane your neck to kiss his jaw, which led to another kiss, which in turn led to some more _intimate_ kissing. This wasn't completely out of the ordinary, but after a few minutes it took an abrupt turn. You were startled when his hand drifted from where he'd casually rested it on your hip, deliberately sliding up beneath your shirt to reach around your ribcage. The bold move was totally unlike him. It also had you craving _more_.

And that's where you were right now. You weren't sure how far he'd be willing to go, but decided not to worry about it and simply enjoy the experience.

His breath was ragged, coming in sharp pants against your skin. Tentatively, he let his tongue slide out and swipe across the spot he'd just kissed. When you whimpered, he threw caution to the wind and sank his teeth into your neck. Not hard enough to break the skin, yet enough to cause a sharp prickle of pain. You hissed, and he drew back in alarm, but you guided his head back to your neck, encouraging him to do it again. He obliged, harder this time, soothing the sore spot with his tongue immediately. Gaster chuckled low in his throat; you could feel the vibrations with him pressed so close. He began to lean closer, gently coaxing you to lie back on the couch. It was getting too warm, so you nudged away the blanket and let it fall to the floor. In a few moments he was looming above you, his hands continuing to glide smoothly over your skin. They never strayed to private areas, staying staunchly above the belt. Apparently, he wasn't feeling _that_ brave. Maybe he was just waiting for a signal?

His touches were driving you nuts, and the t-shirt you wore had become an annoyance. It had to go. Without warning, you pulled the shirt up over your head and tossed it away, not bothering to watch where it fell. Gaster froze. You blinked, then grew very red. Perhaps you'd gone too far.

The purple spreading across his face suggested otherwise. After a slight hesitation and further blushing, he removed his sweater with shaking hands. It didn't take long to get right back to where you'd been before, with you wriggling and sighing, and Gaster using those fangs you'd so often admired. You let your own hands run along his bared skin. When you wrapped both arms around his narrow waist, he'd bitten ferociously hard into your shoulder and emitted a sound you could only describe as a snarl. It shocked you into gasping. Seeming to catch himself, he gentled and began kissing instead, almost apologetically. "Did I hurt you?" he mumbled in concern.

"Not in a bad way." He'd excited you, if anything. Here was sweet, shy, dorky Gaster groping and biting you- he'd even  _growled-_  in an intense episode that _he_ had initiated.It was more than enough to get you going.

He frowned, uncertain. He suddenly looked very embarrassed. "Perhaps...we should stop."

"No, wait!" you answered too quickly. "I mean- I'm okay. But if you're not comfortable then, uh, yeah."

Gaster sat up and climbed off of you, fiddling with his real hands as the ghostly ones dissipated. "I'm sorry." He looked away, abashed. "I don't mean to...d-disappoint you." 

"Disappoint me...?" It didn't take you long to remember: you were his first partner. He'd never gotten this intimate with someone before, let alone...

"That was anything  _but_ disappointing," you assured him. "We can just hang out, I'm happy with whatever. So don't worry." You pressed a kiss to his cheek in reassurance, satisfied with the smile he gave in return. "Now, uh, could you help me find my shirt? I have no idea where it went." Though you both searched around the couch, even chancing to look further by the kitchen and hallway, your shirt seemed to have disappeared into thin air. "Huh."

"Hmm..." Gaster, already wearing his sweater again, thought for a moment. "What's your favorite color?" he asked you.

The question seemed random, yet you answered. "But why-?" you began.

"Just a moment." He wrapped you in the fallen blanket before heading off to his bedroom. A few minutes later, he returned with a turtleneck in the color you had named.

You took it when it was offered, running your hands over the soft material. "How many of these do you have?" you asked incredulously.

"Ah...many," he answered sheepishly. "You can keep that one, if you'd like. I never wear it anyway."

"Really?" He nodded, and you grinned. "Nice." You didn't even bother to put it on at first, instead pressing it to your face. Even through the sweet scent of fabric softener, it still smelled like him. You were pleased to see Gaster's light blush when you peeked back out. With a laugh, you redressed. "Thanks! I bet I'll be wearing it a lot from now on."

"Oh?" He tilted his head. "Why?"

You pulled down the collar and pointed to your neck, shoulders, and collarbone, previously concealed by the knitted fabric. They were scattered with numerous bruises where his teeth had left their mark. You couldn't stop your satisfied smirk when Gaster hid his violet face in his hands.

"O-oh, goodness..." He recovered enough to remove one hand. "Would you like me to heal those?" he offered, a green glow already appearing around his fingers.

"Nope."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They didn't even do the do and I'm still embarrassed for writing this. And for using the term "do the do".


	19. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You put on some music.

This silence was enough to drive anyone mad. The monotonous process of sketching and planning, building and welding, testing, failing, and testing again- coupled with the suffocating quiet in the lab- could really wear you down. Gaster, deeply engrossed in what he was doing, usually didn't say much as you worked on the machine together. You didn't want to be a distraction, and kept your mouth shut.

On the one hand, you were pleased with how efficient you had both become at communicating without words. All he had to do was nudge your arm and you'd hand him the tool he needed, or he'd notice your frustrated expression and help to hold a piece in place. You shared a closeness and sense of understanding that carried over from your relationship as coworkers to your less professional one, and you treasured it.

But geez, you wished he would at least hum, or whistle, or _something_. He could carry a tune pretty decently, no matter how much he claimed otherwise. 

This project was invigorating, for sure, but it also wasn't going to end anytime soon. The original Core had taken years to perfect. Even with Gaster's extensive notes and experience on the subject, building it again (albeit on a smaller scale) could potentially take just as long. Thus, you could see yourself working in this maddening silence for a very, very long time.

Finally, you devised a solution.

You practically skipped into the lab one day with a box in your hands. "Gasty goo, I got us an early Christmas present!"

Gaster grimaced at the way you addressed him. "Not that I don't appreciate you trying to think of nicknames for me, dear, but I believe that was your worst attempt yet. And isn't it only April...?" he asked, puzzled. "I thought Gyftmas was in December."

"Gyftmas?" You were about to ask what he meant but shook your head. "Uh, yeah. What I meant was I got something to make the day go by faster. Behold..." You grabbed onto the object inside the box, letting its cardboard prison thunk dramatically to the floor.

"...a radio?"

"Sort of. It's more of a speaker. It'll hook up to my phone and we can listen to music while we work. Wait-" You titled your head. "What kind of music do you like, anyway?" It had never occurred to you to ask.

"Oh, well-" Gaster paused, thinking. "I don't think I've ever gotten very... _into_ music, to be quite honest. There wasn't much of a selection in the Underground, and I have yet to take advantage of the abundance of it on the surface."

"Oh man, have I got _lots_ to show you." You had a feeling he'd like something mellow, maybe classical, so you started with a playlist of piano pieces. Mozart, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Beethoven...and judging by his bright smile, Gaster loved them all.

"These are wonderful," he told you, absentmindedly tapping his pencil in time to the music. He had pretty good rhythm. "It makes me wonder...is the piano a difficult instrument to play?"

"It's not exactly easy, but once you get the hang of it it's really fun. Why, did you want to learn?"

"Perhaps..." The pencil stilled. "Ah, but I don't have the time. This project is far too important. Besides, could you really see me taking piano lessons?"

"Yes," you answered. He laughed and shook his head, but you had more to say. "I could teach you."

Gaster blinked. "You can play piano?"

"Well..." You shrugged. "Kinda? I played in high school, but I haven't touched any instruments since then so I'm probably rusty. I still know how, though."

"Hm." He considered it. "Maybe...when we are both unoccupied."

A lively, 3/4 song was the last thing on the playlist. Hearing it, Gaster smiled shyly. "But for now...would you, by any chance, also know how to waltz?"

"Uhhh..." What was he getting at? "I...don't know how to dance. At all."

"Then how about I teach you?"

"Oh...in here?" He nodded. You eyed the door warily, knowing it was very unlikely for anyone to stop by. "Alright, but don't get mad if I step on your feet."

"I could never be mad at you, my dear." With a gentlemanly bow, he took your hand and kissed it.

"Is this part of the routine?"

He just laughed, standing up and placing your hand on his shoulder. Or at least, as close to his shoulder as was possible with his ridiculous height. He then clasped your other hand, put one arm around your waist, and pulled you closer. "Just follow my lead," he instructed. After a moment, he nuzzled your cheek. "You'll do fine."

You could only nod. Even after all this time, the tiniest of his affectionate touches could still make you blush. The dance began, slowly at first, then on beat with the music. You stumbled a few times, but managed to avoid crushing his toes. The steps were simple, and once you'd picked up on the patterns you found yourselves whirling around the open floor of the lab with relative ease. Halfway through, you both nearly careened straight into a shelf, fortunately whisking past it instead. As the song came to a close, Gaster lowered you in a dip towards the floor. You gasped at the sudden movement, and the very close proximity of his smiling face to yours, and- _damn_ him, he was doing this on purpose. You grumbled, pretending to be irritated as he kissed your forehead and raised you to your feet.

"Where did you learn how to dance?" you asked, though breathily. That had been more tiring than you'd expected.

"King Asgore taught me."

"Wait-" Did you hear that right? " _King_  Asgore? That guy Frisk talks about?" Though you'd never met the monster, Frisk often referred to him as their uncle.

"Oh, that's right. I never told you, did I?" He tsked at himself. "Apologies, I meant to let you know much earlier. He and Toriel were once the rulers of the Underground. They, ah..." He shifted uncomfortably. "Split up a very long time ago. I wasn't even around at the time."

"Huh." This was definitely news to you. "But why would the king teach you how to dance?"

"Well, since I was the Royal Scientist, we became very good friends. He brought up dancing on a whim one day-" His words stopped at your strange expression. "_____?"

"Royal Scientist...?" you repeated meekly. That sounded...important.

"Ah, yes. The title doesn't really mean much. It simply gave me permission to oversee any scientific endeavors and lead my own team. Alphys is the current Royal Scientist, though come to think of it-" He tapped a finger on his chin pensively. "I don't know if the position exists anymore since we've come to the surface." He shrugged. "Whatever the case may be, she's very brilliant," he beamed. "One of my best students. I believe she may exceed even myself in time."

"Students...?" You sure were learning a lot today. "And why aren't you still the Royal Scientist? Or is it a shared title?"

His face fell and he went quiet, searching for an answer. Judging by that and his twitching hands, this was obviously a conversation he'd rather not be having. You quickly changed the subject.

"Eh, it doesn't really matter does it?" Gaster nodded in agreement, smiling gratefully. "Do you want to hear some more music?" you offered. "I have stuff from tons of different genres."

"Yes, that sounds lovely."

You picked out a few songs you liked and set them on shuffle. It was a slightly stressful experience, as it always is when one shows someone else their favorite things. Fortunately, Gaster seemed to be enjoying them. He was very curious, and asked lots of questions about both the music and the artists or bands who created it. Even when he stopped talking, there was something else pleasant to listen to. The heavy, irritating silence from before had been destroyed, and thus you found your work much easier to complete. Now you just had to find the time to teach Gaster piano.


	20. A Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone makes a huge mistake.

The day was bright, his hands were soft as they wrapped around yours, and you thought this might be your best date yet. Since it was now warm enough for the honeysuckle to be blooming, you followed through with your earlier offer and took Gaster to the park. He was delighted by the swans swimming on the lake, the way the cool breeze rustled the trees' branches, and of course, the great swaths of honeysuckle bushes. You two lounged by the edge of the lake and watched the birds.

"Nature is amazing," Gaster sighed contentedly, gliding his fingers over the water.

"You'd see more of it if you didn't spend so long cooped up in the lab. Staying after hours, too," you chided, poking him playfully. "You should let yourself relax more."

"Yes, I know," he admitted. "The outdoors is so beautiful. I should take full advantage of it. You said that it's spring, correct? Then after this comes summer?"

He hadn't much experience with the seasons. "Yeah. It'll be really hot. You probably won't want to wear sweaters then." Your eyes grew unfocused in thought. "Maybe we could even go swimming..." Would Gaster be willing to wear a swim suit? He was rather shy. You'd never seen him in such little clothing as that, seeing as your relationship hadn't quite yet reached that level. Well, there was that one time where he had been shirtless, but...

"_____?" His voice halted your thoughts. "Still there? You look a bit lost." Blushing, you nodded. You really had to stop letting your mind wander to such questionable places, especially while he was _right freaking next to you_.

"Yup. All good." You cast around for a distraction. Gaster beat you to it.

"_____," he spoke softly. His eyes were gentle and low lidded as they met with yours. "Thank you for bringing me here. I love it." You could always tell when he wanted something but was feeling too shy to make the first move. It was the way he played with his hands- not the twitching they did when he was anxious but rather slow, thoughtful motions; how he'd look down and quickly flick his gaze back up, his head ducking lower to be nearly level with yours, the slight quickening of his breath. The tells were all there so, smiling, you took the hint.

He leaned into the kiss, reaching around your shoulders to draw you against him. You couldn't suppress a quiet moan when his fingers pressed into the back of your neck. Yeah, this was definitely your favorite date yet.

Of course, someone had to come along and ruin it. A disgusted snort broke your concentration, accompanied by a low mutter, "Really? In public? Fucking disgusting..."

You pulled back in shock to look for the owner of the voice. A stranger, one you didn't recall seeing there only a few moments before, was glaring at you both from beside the lake. His face twisted in scorn, bringing an angry flush to your face. As much as you hated confrontation, you weren't about to let some dickbag insult you, and _especially_ not your cinnamon roll. You opened your mouth to give a scathing reply when Gaster put his hand on your shoulder.

"Ignore him. We can go somewhere else," he muttered.

"Like hell we will! We were here first!"

"_____." Gaster looked very serious. "He's not worth it. Let's go."

You tried to tell him that there was no way you'd ever budge from this spot, but he gently pulled you to your feet and led you away with an arm around your shoulders. You were fuming. "I swear I will fight that guy."

"Please do not," Gaster said, though he didn't seem to take your threat too seriously.

The stranger called after you. "What, your own species ain't good enough for ya? How about you ditch the freak and come home with me?" You didn't have to turn around to know the bastard was smirking. It was all too obvious in his tone.

"Ignore it," Gaster instructed, holding tighter to your shoulders.

The stranger made some noise of discontent at your lack of a reply. "Fine, be that way. You're sick, you know that?" It sounded like he was getting closer. If he was following you, you really were going to fight him. Well, probably not. He was likely just bored and looking for someone to pick on, so really not worth the effort of confronting.

" _Ignore it._ " Gaster almost appeared to be talking to himself now. His face was becoming strangely blank and expressionless. There was only one time before when you'd seen him get like this, and it seemed very possible you were about to see that side of him again. Your own anger was ebbing away in favor of concern, and you rubbed the hand on your shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm talking to you, freak fucker." Did this guy ever give up? "I don't know what kinda diseases that thing might be carrying, but I guess I could give you a pity fuck if you-"

Gaster had stopped in his tracks, surprising the stranger into silence. His voice was low and cold, leaving no room for retaliation. "You would do well to leave us alone."

"Oh, piss off," the man sneered. Gaster turned around to face the stranger, nudging you behind him. The stranger, imprudently, went on. "What are you gonna do, hit m...g-g-god... _oh god_ what is..." The man's face had grown deathly pale as he stared at something past Gaster's shoulder.

Confused, you turned to where he was looking. Above you hovered what looked like a massive animal skull, resembling something you couldn't quite identify. Its curving horns and pointed snout suggested a dragon. Whatever it was, it was _huge_ ; just one of its wickedly sharp teeth was as long as your forearm. The bottom jaw had unhinged to reveal a ball of blindingly bright purple light, looking poised and ready to explode, or fire, or whatever it was going to do. You couldn't help the chill that ran through your body. But since Gaster was the one controlling it, you were safe.

The stranger, however, knew he was not, and scampered away. Gaster waited until the man was out of sight before letting the skull disappear. His face was still devoid of expression, his breathing too quick, so you put your hand on his arm to get his attention. He blinked, coming out of whatever trance had seized him.

Sighing, he let his tensed muscles relax. "I'm sorry if I frightened you. Again." He looked sorry too, his head turned down and away to stare at the grass by his feet. "I w-wasn't going to fire, I swear! It was just...I- I only meant to...scare him off..."

You said nothing. Stepping in front of him, you reached towards his shoulders to pull him down. He allowed it, confused. Once he was close enough, you finished the kiss the stranger had so rudely interrupted. After breaking away to get some air, you went right back in. By the second time, Gaster had gotten over his shock and put a hand on the back of your head, stroking through your hair. He looked dazed when you both were finished.

"Wingdings," you said breathily. "That was incredibly badass." You smirked. "And kinda hot."

"Oh. O-oh goodness, _____!" He was incredibly flustered, the sudden change from his previous mood almost comical.

"But seriously," you said, even though you were already being serious. "That was so cool! What was that? It was magic, right?"

"Of a sort. I created it artificially, so it's imbued with magic. And, ah, Sans calls it a Gaster Blaster. Not the most original name, but it works..." His hands gave a single twitch. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Better than alright." You were invigorated, as well as touched by Gaster's protectiveness. You felt a little rush of giddiness knowing he had been so eager to defend you, though anger definitely wasn't in his nature. It seemed to exhaust him, actually. You grasped his hand. "I feel fantastic. Now, how about we finish our date?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad Gast is back, and this time he's *really* pissed. I love the idea of his anger being this quiet, smoldering sort of thing rather than a noticeably violent outrage. It's even more threatening, imo, and fits well with his normally passive nature.


	21. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You only wanted to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are okay with a cliffhanger ;)

Something was wrong. It didn't take you long to notice the darkening circles under his eyes, or the fact that he was spending fewer nights at your apartment. He was still affectionate and talkative like usual, but there were times when you caught him staring blankly into nothingness. Until he noticed your eyes on him, that is, and he would force a smile. Normally very neat and precise, his work wasn't exactly up to par either. He made mistakes in his equations, and overlooked details that once would have stood out to him like a neon sign. Over all, Gaster seemed exhausted. Not at all himself.

You couldn't place why. Nothing stressful had occurred at work and, to your knowledge, he was still on good terms with all of his friends. Was he not sleeping well? When your worries had become too strong to hold back, you finally asked him what was up.

"Nothing, dear," he replied. The answer was too immediate.

You narrowed your eyes. "Don't you ' _dear_ ' me, something's not right. You don't have to tell me what it is, but if there's some way I can help...please. Let me," you pleaded, placing a hand on his arm.

He flinched away from your touch. "I said it is nothing." Well that was...weird. He never used that flat tone with you.

Taken aback, you let your hand drop and mumbled a simple, "Okay."

He blinked, expression growing slightly guilty. "Please, don't worry. I really am fine. Only tired, love." He assured you he'd try to get more sleep and work fewer hours.

It was an obvious lie, but you didn't know what to do. Prying might only make him recede more, yet you couldn't stand idly by and do nothing at all...

By the end of the week, his mood seemed to have rubbed off on you. When he asked about your weekend plans, you hesitated. What did you do when _you_ were feeling off? Took some alone time to relax! That could work.

"Look...you've obviously not been feeling right," you began. "And to be honest, I'm pretty tired too. We're together a _lot_ -" It was true, you were in each other's company nearly every day. "-and I like that. But how about we take the next two days off? Just...to have a bit of time apart?"

"Oh..." You felt a twinge of regret at Gaster's crestfallen expression. "Y-you...you don't want to spend time with me...?"

"No! That's not what I meant-" You probably could have worded it better. Now he was looking even more depressed. "What I mean is, I'll just have some me-time, you get some you-time, and we'll see each other again feeling refreshed on Monday. It's healthy to chill by yourself every once in a while."

He didn't look convinced, but nodded. "If that is what you want."

"Is it what _you_ want?"

"I-" He faltered. "I want you to be happy. And...perhaps you're right. This could be beneficial for both of us." He smiled cheerlessly. "Enjoy your weekend." And then he was gone, poofed into thin air without so much as a goodbye hug. He hadn't even given you time to reply. You wondered if you'd made the right decision, but pushed your concerns away. It was only two days, right? He'd be fine. And if he was still acting different on Monday, you'd find another way to help.

However, the urge to check on him was strong when you arrived back home. You forced yourself to walk past his door to your own apartment. This for _his_ sake, if not your own. No need to ruin it by being clingy and intrusive.

You finally managed to relax with a hot bath- using a mint scented bath bomb, of course- and a good book. Your thoughts strayed to Gaster far more than you would have liked them to. Was he doing alright? What if he was lonely?

"Knock it off," you muttered to yourself. "It hasn't even been two hours yet." He was an adult for heaven's sake. Surely he could handle a few days on his own.

But that sad look in his eyes before he had teleported away...

"Stop it." You threw yourself into the story, soon becoming engrossed enough in the book's plot to distract your mind. You finished the night with some tea and honey before going to bed.

Saturday was spent at the bookstore, the candle shop, and eventually Grillby's. Your friends there were always great company. The stress of the week trickled away as you laughed at Sans' jokes and sipped glasses of iced tea. Overall, the plan had been a great success.

At least, on your end. When you returned home for the night, that prickle of worry crawled to the front of your mind. Was Gaster still at home? It couldn't hurt to stop by and just say hello, could it?

Your hand paused in its motion to knock on the door. Might as well text him first in case he was out. You sent the message and waited. No response. That was understandable, he might be busy. When nothing came for a solid five minutes, you decided to try knocking. Still nothing. He was probably out enjoying himself like you just were. There was no reason to worry.

You turned to begin walking to your apartment, making it halfway there...before going right back to Gaster's door again. Something was wrong, you could _feel_ it. Maybe that was ridiculous, but you didn't want to take any chances. You tried the doorknob. It opened. It seemed rude to go in without being invited, but he wouldn't mind, would he? You went into each other's homes all the time. You cracked the door just enough to peek inside, calling his name. He was nowhere to be seen, and didn't respond to your call. You checked your phone again. Still nothing. With a deep breath, you cautiously stepped inside.

"Gaster? Are you home?" It was silent in the small apartment. You frowned at the unusual amount of clutter. He was normally very tidy. A faint noise from down the hall caught your attention. Maybe he was in his room. You stepped over the objects on the floor and made your way down the hall.

Hesitating before the open door, you called one last time. "Gaster? Are you in there?"

"..._____?" His voice was low, muffled, and far too shaky. You stepped through the doorframe, eyes widening at what you saw.

Gaster was huddled on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest, his face looking even more tired than you'd remembered- and streaked in tears. Seeing your startled expression, he hid his head in his arms, ashamed, shuddering and sobbing like his heart would break.


	22. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is finally revealed.

You were at his side in seconds, crawling onto the mattress and reaching towards him in a desperate rush to make contact. "Wingdings? W-what happened?" You could _not_ become frantic. If you panicked, he'd never be able to calm down, and then- well, it'd just be a mess for the both of you.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry-" He was still curled up and hiding his face, his chest heaving as he struggled to speak. "I'm s-so so s-sorry, I d-didn't want you t-to see me like this..."

"It's alright." You wrapped your arms around him as best you could, gently coaxing his head free to pull it against your shoulder. "Shh, just try to relax. I've got you." He stiffened at first, soon melting into the contact and pressing harder against you. In a few moments his crying had started anew and he clung to you desperately, lilac tears soaking into the fabric of your shirt.

You were trying fairly hard not to lose it yourself. For all the times he'd been upset, this was the first time you'd seen him cry. And it was _your_ fault. He'd needed support, that much had been obvious, and yet you'd thought the answer was to leave him all on his owm.

This was no time for guilt. That could come later. For now you held him, rubbing comforting circles on his back and telling him it was okay, that he shouldn't be sorry at all, until his sobs had calmed into ragged breathing. You pressed a kiss to his temple, startling him from his stunned silence. Reluctant to leave your arms, he spoke into your shirt.

"I didn't know you'd be coming over," he mumbled.

"I wasn't going to, and I normally wouldn't come in without asking but...now, I'm grateful I did," you replied solemnly. " _Please_ tell me what's wrong."

He was quiet for a long time. You waited patiently, stroking his back. Finally, he lifted his face to look at you. Or rather, past you. He wouldn't meet your eyes. "Nightmares," he answered timidly.

"What about...?" That would explain the exhaustion. But did they cause the meltdown? You felt another surge of guilt knowing how much he hated being alone in the dark. Would this still have happened if you'd been sleeping beside him?

Gaster hadn't responded. He seemed to be thinking about something, his brow furrowed and his mouth set into a straight line. He shook his head. "It's a long story. A long...convoluted story."

"I've got nowhere to be," you half joked. Your arms were still around him, so you gave his body a light squeeze. "Please. It breaks my heart to see you like this..."

Gaster looked into your eyes with sudden certainty. "_____, I see that look on your face, and I swear-" Intent on driving this point across, his voice had grown surprisingly stern. "This is _not_ your fault. It's not from the break, it's..." He sombered again, his volume lowering back down to a near whisper. "This has been a long time coming. I should have dealt with it sooner." You gave him a minute or two of silence to collect his thoughts. There was a trace of a waver in his voice as he began. "There was an...incident I was involved in before the barrier was destroyed..."

You listened, horrified, as he told you how he had fallen into the CORE. Whether it was truly an accident, or if he was pushed, or if he jumped (you couldn't hold back a small gasp of distress when he said that) was uncertain. He had no recollection of the moments before, only of falling, and falling, until suddenly-

"I felt myself...sh-shattering. It was my soul cracking apart, pieces of it were...s-scattered across space and time. I know it sounds _insane_ b-but..."

You shook your head. "Knowing how unpredictable magic is...no. I don't doubt it. Go on."

So he did. He told you about the endlessness of the void, how time had meant nothing, how he could have been there for weeks or months or years or centuries and not known the difference. Recently, he'd been having dreams about the blackness, the silence, the isolation, the way his body had been deformed into a warped, dripping horror...and that seemingly eternal fall towards the boiling magma inside the Core.

"I thought I was losing my mind," he confessed. "Maybe I did. I don't know." He let his face fall into his hands, taking a deep breath before continuing.

He could leave the void for short periods of time, but while he was out no one ever noticed his presence. All traces of his past were wiped from existence; if someone asked who had built the CORE, no one could give a straight answer. They'd simply assume it had always been there. His image disappeared from photos, his name was no longer in any notes or files...it was as if he'd never lived at all. "Even after I was freed, it took my friends weeks to remember who I was. Their memories _did_ come back..." His voice had lifted with hope, but fell right back down when he next spoke. "...most of them, anyway. It astounds me...one moment, I had wonderful friends, landed the job of my dreams, I'd accomplished things I never thought to be possible...and the next I...I n-never existed. Was I really so _insignificant_ to be f-forgotten in an instant...?" He appeared to be speaking to himself now, his eyes fixed on his trembling hands in his lap.

You had no idea how to respond to that. "How did you escape?" The question regained his attention, and he responded after a pause.

"I'm...not quite sure," Gaster confessed. "When Frisk broke the barrier, whatever magical energy it emitted must have pulled my soul back together and pushed me into existence. It shouldn't have been possible, but I...try not to question it."

You chuckled, the sound strained and foreign after this heavy conversation. "I wouldn't either." Once again, you grew serious. "Gast...what did you mean when you said you haven't 'dealt' with this yet?" The realization came to you before he even replied. "Am I...have you not talked to anyone about this before?" The shake of his head was almost imperceptible. "Not even Sans?"

"How could I? I would never burden him like that." He looked down, fresh tears brimming in his eyes. "And now I've put it all on you. I'm so s-sorry, I n-never should have said anything-"

You grimaced, realizing you had pretty much forced it from him. Still, at least now you had an idea of how to help. "Wingdings..." You wiped away the few tears that trickled down his face, guiding him to look at you. "You're not a burden. I'm always here for you, okay?"

"But I'm b-broken!" he wailed. "You deserve someone n-normal, how can you stand such a useless, s-s-spineless c- _coward_ of a monster-!"

"We have been over this," you interrupted him firmly. "I think I know what I deserve, as well as what I want. I want you. I _love_ you. And I also know that you deserve to be happy."

He gaped in confusion. "...y-you're staying?"

"...what?"

"I w-was afraid that...that if you knew how... _needy_ I was-" He cringed as he said it, toying with his hands. "...that you m-might...might not want to be with me anymore..."

"Oh...oh, no-" You cupped his tear stained cheek, mortified. "I wouldn't leave you over this! You..." Your next words were powerful in their conviction. You needed to make sure he believed them. "You matter. You're not needy, and you're definitely not a coward. You're a wonderful, loving person who gives _so_ much. Nobody can be happy all the time, you're allowed to be upset. Especially...after what you've told me today..." Your expression softened. "You've carried this on your own for so long without telling anyone. That could break some people, but you've stayed kind and positive throughout. That's not cowardice. It's strength." You'd ended up saying much more than you'd intended to. Though, after all the pep talks he'd given you, it felt good to be the one to build him up.

You weren't sure if it had worked when more tears started dribbling from his eyes. It didn't seem to be sad crying, at least. He hugged you so tightly that it hurt, though you didn't tell him that. His words were jumbled and difficult to hear through the sobs; you were only able to pick up on expressions of gratitude, as well as breathless proclamations of love that made your heart throb painfully hard in your chest. It was all you needed to hear to know he'd be okay for now.

The implications of what he'd said were painful. It had obviously been difficult for him to talk about, but you were relieved to have it all out in the open.

But this was certainly far from over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We apologize for the angst, your regularly scheduled fluff will resume shortly.


	23. Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster's feeling a little woozy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter before bed ^^ Just a little something light to ease the angst, lots of dialogue and banter. I have so many ideas for casual, silly interactions between these two, but there aren't usually many opportunities to include them. So I'll pack them into the fluff chapters!

You nearly panicked when he started coughing. Not even two days after that stressful Saturday, Gaster had started to show signs of a cold-like sickness. You were ready to bust out the Tylenol before he stopped you.

"Monsters don't get sick the same way humans do," he explained. "We aren't affected by pathogens because we're made out of magic, but-" He had to take a break to release a few concerningly dry coughs. "It's more of a...an illness of the soul. Physical exhaustion caused by a negative mental or emotional state."

Technically, that could happen to humans too, but you'd never seen it to this degree. "Then what do I do?"

"You've already done so much. I'm not quite, ah..." Struggling to think straight, he groggily shook his head as if to clear it. "Forgive me, lost my train of thought. I'm not nearly as, eh...distraught? As I was before." In any other circumstances, you would have found his scatterbrained behavior amusing. The situation being what it was, though, you failed to find any joy in it.

"Shouldn't you go home and rest? I can handle this on my own for a few days." You gestured to the machine, the structure being not even halfway finished.

"Nooope. Wouldn't do anything. Many of the symptoms present as physical, but it's a...er...not physical disease."

"Are you sure?" He was swaying a bit, and you weren't sure if you could catch him if he passed out. "You seem a little...disoriented."

"'M fine." He waved a hand flippantly. "The best treatment is the opposite of the cause." You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. He didn't give any further explanation, so you quietly cleared your throat. "Ah, right," he continued. "What that means is I just need to stay positive." He smiled brightly. "Need to do things that make me happy and whatnot. Work makes me happy."

You shot him a blank look, but he didn't seem to notice as he was staring contentedly at the tiled floor. "You really are a nerd," you said dryly.

He scowled. "I thought you preferred the title of 'geek'."

Alright, he wasn't _too_ out of it. This was all very concerning, but at least he seemed to be in a better mood. Then again, he had also seemed to be okay before he...

Well. There was no use dwelling on your past mistakes when you could be more attentive now. "So you don't need medicine or anything?" you asked one last time.

"No. Wait, actually-" His hand rubbed absently at his forehead. "Do you have any painkillers? M' head hurts."

You went to fetch the medicine from your bag, grateful that you already happened to carry the stuff with you, and pulled out a few cough drops as well. Just in case. After pressing the pills into his hand (they nearly dropped through the hole until he took them in his fingers instead), you were about to settle down by the machine and get to work, but Gaster's sudden placement of his arm around your waist kept you still. You tilted your head to look up at him. "You know what else makes me happy?" he asked slyly.

"What's that?"

He bumped his forehead against yours, staring dazedly into your eyes. "You."

Smiling, you placed your hands on his chest and stood on your tiptoes. Gaster began to close his eyes as his face drew nearer to yours, cracking them open only for a moment as he murmured "Don't worry, 'm not contagious," and kissed you softly. He hummed happily against your lips, his arm squeezing tight on your waist. Unfortunately, it was ended when he had to turn his head away, struggling in vain to hold back more coughs. You rubbed his back soothingly, a sympathetic grimace plastered on your face as he wheezed. You handed him one of the cough drops. Good call, past you. He took it with a grateful smile and went out in the hall, where there were vending machines, to get a bottle of water for the pills. You stared after him as he left, concerned by his unsteady gait, and were relieved when he made it to the door without keeling over. If he didn't return within the next five minutes, you were likely going to assume he was passed out in the hallway and go check on him. An extreme conclusion, maybe, but you weren't willing to take any chances.

Not when you had already failed him so much.

There had to be something more you could do. This "soul sickness" didn't appear to be affecting him too badly- he seemed tired and the coughing was concerning, yet he still felt well enough to work- but its deep rooted source was sure to cause him more pain before long. What he had experienced...it wasn't something one could get over quickly. How he'd managed to hide his residing anxiety for so long was astounding. He was always good-natured, sweet, and positive...

But also skittish and quiet, making nervous movements and often stuttering...you should have known sooner. You should have noticed. You should have said something, because you had once been in the same place, feeling miserable and alone but too afraid to reach out, and even your closest friends had been none the wiser. But you had always known something was bothering Gaster, hadn't you? Sans had said so, blatantly, and you had seen the signs firsthand, so why hadn't you-

"I'm baaaack!" You quelled your guilty thoughts and wiped any signs of distress from your face. "Did you miss me?" He giggled, stumbling and smiling even more than before. You were about to downright order him to take the rest of the day off, but his next words calmed you. "I know, I know, I'm acting like I'm delirious. Or drunk. But...I'm not. I think those pills might've made me a little loopy." He blinked slowly. "Not bad loopy, though. Just kinda silly."

"You're always silly," you teased, taking the water bottle and setting it down before it could slip from his careless grasp. "They're really not  _that_ strong."

He held up his index finger. "On the contrary." He giggled again for seemingly no reason, then went on. "You humans have lots of...squishiness. Organs and tissues. Which absorb chemicals and...and whatever other substances very well. Monsters have very little physical matter, so we are much more strongly affected by drugs, alcohol..." He motioned vaguely. "Etcetera."

"Huh. Is that why Sans drinks ketchup?" Could he really have been getting drunk off a condiment all this time?

"No, Sans does that because he's gross," Gaster drawled.

You smacked him lightly on the shoulder, unable to stifle a laugh. "Don't be mean!"

"What? If he were here, he'd agree with me!" Gaster protested. "'M pretty sure he started drinking ketchup just to annoy Pappa. Papaya." His brow furrowed. "...Papyrus. That's what I meant."

Your laughter grew into cackles. "Papaya?" 

"Oh, shush. I'm sick," Gaster pouted.

"Should I be recording this? You're gonna love it when you're thinking clearly again-" Giggling, you reached for your phone on the table.

"Nonono, that won't be necessary." Gaster got a hold of it first, keeping it far above your reach.

"Hey!" You stretched for your phone, but your arms were nowhere near long enough. "Come on you  _giraffe_ , give it back."

"...what's a giraffe?"

"Give me my phone back and I can look up a picture of one for you."

He squinted at you suspiciously. "Promise you won't embarrass me?"

You held your hands over your heart in mock offense. "Darling, how could I ever be so cruel to you?"

"Ugh. Don't say 'darling'. Makes me think of that robot." He scowled at the phone as if it were to blame, then handed the device back.

"Why don't you like Mettaton?"

"...Rrreasons," said, crossing his arms.

"You're not still jealous of him, are you?"

"I was never _jealous_! He's just..." Gaster huffed. "Too haughty for my liking."

"Right." You went to Google images and found a picture of a giraffe with its mouth open, pointing to the tongue. "Look, here's why you're a giraffe. One: you're really tall and two: blue tongues. I mean, yours is purple but it's close enough."

"Fascinating..." Gaster leaned closer to inspect the picture. "Though I always thought my tongue was more of an indigo."

"Really?" You blinked. "I'm pretty sure it's purple."

"Eh." Gaster shrugged. "My vision's been kinda wonky since..." He pointed to his drooping eye. "The glasses help with fuzziness, but not color."

"Uhhh...you don't wear glasses."

He suddenly flushed a bright violet. "O-Oh. Right. Well...I don't  _wear_ them, but I do own a pair."

You tilted your head. "Why don't you wear them?"

"They look..." He cast around for the correct word to use, then settled with, "Ugh. I don't like them."

"Why don't you get a new pair, then? There are plenty of optometrists on the surface."

"Can't," he grumbled. "They're a...weird...prescription. Also infused with magic, which humans can't do. And I don't know where to find a monster that could. The one who made mine is probably miles away. Maybe by the beach. I think he liked water. He was some type of fish monster, had huge fins on his face like-" He held his hands on either side of his head, fingers splayed outward, before he realized what he was doing. He let his hands drop. "I'm rambling."

"I like it when you ramble," you insisted.

"Oh." He smiled sheepishly.

"Can I see them?" you requested.

"See what?"

"Your glasses."

He frowned, eyes darting towards his briefcase. "They look weird."

"Nah, come on. I bet they're cute."

"Nnnno."

"Please?"

Gaster huffed irritably. "Alright. Just don't laugh." He opened his briefcase and pulled out a glasses case. When he put them on, you couldn't help but release a snort. "You said you wouldn't laugh..."

"I'm not laughing at you. I just don't understand why you don't like these. You look _adorable_." You meant it, too. The wireframe lenses were large and round, magnifying his eyes and giving him an owlish appearance. You stepped forward and took both his hands. "Absolutely precious."

"Oh." He stood there staring for a few awkward moments. "C-can I kiss you?"

The straightforward absurdity of the question made you lose it yet again. "You really don't need to ask," you answered in amusement.

"Just making sure..." He placed his lips on your laughing mouth, silencing the mirthful sounds, and intertwined his fingers with yours. No coughing fit interrupted him this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand we're back to being lighthearted and fun.
> 
> For now :)


	24. Piano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster becomes a musician.

Things returned back to normal. The dark circles of exhaustion faded from under his eyes, he no longer got lost in his own head at work, and you felt nothing but relief.

Well, almost nothing. Despite the positive change, you knew anxiety was a sneaky bastard and had a way of creeping back when one least expected it. Considering the nightmares and panic attacks, you wondered if he might also have a form of PTSD, though you had no way of diagnosing something like that yourself. Instead, you kept a closer eye on Gaster, looking out for any anxious behaviors. What you had accepted before as simple personality quirks were really subtle signs of distress. You still judged yourself harshly for not realizing that sooner. On his bad days, you made an even greater effort to show how much you cared. He was silently grateful for the gestures of support, and of course was never one to reject extra affection.

You were there for a few of his nightmares. They didn't happen every night, but whenever they did the results were the same. You had always been easily roused from your sleep, so the smallest tremble or whimper from the monster beside you had you alert in an instant. Unfortunately for him he slept like a rock, even through the terrible dreams. It was a stressful ordeal trying to rouse him, but you managed it with gentle shaking and by firmly calling his name, repeating that it was just a dream and to wake up. When he finally did- confused, shaking, and during the worst ones sobbing his eyes out- you'd hold him close and remind him where he was, grounding his mind safely back in reality. He would eventually fall back into an uneasy sleep, getting around six hours a night. It was exhausting for you both, but you were more than willing to make the effort.

At one point, you casually brought up the idea of talking to someone.

He tilted his head in confusion. "I already talk to you."

"Yes, but-" You considered putting it lightly, then went straight for bluntness. "A professional. They might be able to help you in ways that I can't." At his uncertain expression, you added, "If not that, then what about one of our friends? They'd be just as supportive, and it doesn't hurt to have someone new to listen."

"I know." He was visibly restraining himself from twitching his hands. "I'm just...n-not sure about that. It's a good idea yet I don't...I don't want anyone but you to know. Sans and the others already are _aware_ of what happened, they just don't know the, ah...details."

You let the subject drop as he was clearly uncomfortable. "That's fine. It was just a suggestion." You pondered for a moment. "What about a different kind of therapy?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Hmm." You smiled, an idea presenting itself in your head. "I'll show you when we get home." He was curious, but you wouldn't let on, wanting it to be a surprise. When you finally did get back to your apartment, you had him wait on the couch as you dug through your closet. At last you pulled out a dusty, practically ancient keyboard. Despite being somewhat outdated, it would still work just fine. You brought the instrument back into the living room, setting it on the coffee table and gesturing to it triumphantly. "Do you still want to learn to play piano?"

"Oh!" Gaster clasped his hands excitedly. "Yes, I do! I'd completely forgotten, what with work, and...well..." He cleared his throat. "I'm glad you remembered."

It was the memory of Mettaton's passing comment about music being "good for the soul" that had sparked the idea. You wondered if he'd meant that literally, seeing as you'f recently learned that souls were actually a thing that existed. You'd always thought they were more metaphorical, a way of explaining one's sense of self or...whatever other psychological nonsense. The truth was much more interesting.

"Yup! And you-" You booped him where his nose would be if he had one, making him giggle. "Are going to be great at it. I was thinking, once we get past the basics you could use your extra hands to play a bunch of parts at once. Wouldn't that be cool?"

He laughed. "It certainly would, though I'm sure I'll take a long time to reach that level of skill."

"Better get started soon, then. I'll have you playing concertos by Thursday." You sat beside him and started the lesson, explaining the notes and showing him how to place his fingers on the keys. His hands being as large as they were, he was able to make long reaches easily. You guided him through a few basic songs, hugging him excitedly when he got through one by himself. You were only doing one handed pieces for today, and he had mastered a few simple melodies by the time the sun began to set.

"Wow." You had just listened to him play through another song. His rhythm faltered a few times, yet it had still been surprisingly smooth. "You are a _really_ fast learner." Not like you'd been expecting any different. "You're so talented," you sighed, hugging him for what was probably the twentieth time.

He blushed at the praise, squirming self-consciously in your arms. "I-I'm not that good."

"You're getting the hang of it much quicker than I did," you countered. "Just accept it, you're amazing."

He ducked his head shyly, which brought it closer within your reach. You took advantage of the opportunity to kiss his cheek. He surprised you by kissing yours too. You blinked, both of you shortly breaking into giggles. He wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his face into your hair. "So soft," he mumbled.

"You say that every time," you remarked dryly, earning a yourself a snort and a light bap on the head from Gaster. That day's lesson was unofficially ended as you became distracted, enjoying each other's company for the remainder of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's meant by "enjoying each other's company" is up for interpretation ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
> 
> Also, I hate to say this but I'm starting to lose steam on this story. By no means am I giving up on it, I think I'll just take a few days off from writing.


	25. Exposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster bares his soul to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Sup, I'm back. It wasn't a long break but I'm already prepared to get back into this!

Gaster's piano lessons were coming along wonderfully. Within a week, you managed to teach him how to read sheet music and to integrate simpler left handed parts of songs. It got to the point where he no longer needed total silence to concentrate, and was happy to make light conversation as he practiced.

On one occasion, you happened to ask if music really did have a positive effect on one's soul.

"Anything that evokes an emotional response is sure to affect the soul in some way or another," Gaster explained, his fingers ghosting over the worn piano keys. "Music is one of those things, as is any sort of creative outlet."

"So would music that makes you sad have a negative effect?"

"Temporarily, perhaps. The soul is malleable, but it would take a much stronger emotional or mental state to change it permanently."

You still didn't quite grasp how it all worked. "What _is_ a soul anyway?"

"The culmination of one's being. It manifests as a sort of magical conduit and fuels one's existence." That didn't tell you much. Or anything, really.

"So it's an actual...thing? Could you see it?"

"Technically, yes but..." Gaster looked briefly uncomfortable, the notes he played skipping for just a fraction of a second. "Well, monsters can remove their own souls from their bodies to look at them or to, ah, show them to others...but I don't believe humans are capable. You would have to let a monster to remove it for you, and allowing another to handle your soul is considered..." He trailed off and began mumbling. "An...intimate process," he finished, blushing.

"Oh." You smirked, edging closer on the couch. "Well...it wouldn't be the first time we've gotten _intimate_ , would it?" The poor scientist was left stuttering and blushing yet darker, sending you into a fit of giggles. Once you recovered, you dropped your teasing attitude to become more serious. "So...would just showing your soul and not touching it be considered, uh, too much? Because I could probably figure out some way to do it. I'd like to see what mine looks like, and...well, I don't mind if you see it too."

Gaster ceased his piano playing and looked at you curiously. "It's not something one would do with just anybody...but no, it's not nearly as serious just to let it be seen. Though I'm fairly certain there's no way a human could do that." His brow furrowed in concern. "Even if you could, you really don't have to. It requires a very high level of trust-"

"I do trust you. Completely," you interjected.

"B-be that as it may-" You'd made him blush again. "There is, perhaps, something else..." His hands were beginning to twitch. "I-I could show you mine, if you'd like," he suggested timidly.

The prospect excited you, but he looked far too nervous for you accept the offer right away. "Are you sure? It seems like it's still sort of a private thing."

"It is, but..." He hesitated, breathing deeply before his hand moved forward to envelop yours, the motion familiar and comforting. "I'd like to be able to share that sort of closeness with you," he admitted, his hopeful, soft eyes fixed on yours. "We've been together for a good while now..." That was true, it had been nearly five months since you first started dating, and about seven in total since you'd met. Maybe not the longest relationship you'd ever had, yet it felt more _real_ than all the others combined. "I feel so safe when I'm around you. And...I-I know that I could trust you with absolutely anything. So...I'd like to let you see what is, essentially...all of me."

It was baffling how he could make something sound so _cheesily_  romantic, yet also the most sincerely sweet thing you'd ever heard...

"Y-yeah. Okay, I'll, uh. I'd like that," you choked out once your voice had returned.

With a bright smile he released your hand, briefly squeezing his fingers around yours before pulling it back. He hesitated and glanced off to the side. "I must warn you, it's not quite, ah, normal. Because of...you know." You nodded. That wouldn't matter, of course, especially since you had no idea what a normal soul was supposed to look like in the first place. Gaster raised a shaky hand to his chest, and when he pulled it away a floating white heart came with it.

Your breath hitched as his soul hovered in the space above his upturned palm. It was small, only a few inches across, and shone with a faint silvery glow. You now knew what he had meant by not "normal": thin cracks ran across the heart's surface, looking dreadfully deep and jagged in some places. They were scars, and somehow the sight affected you even more than seeing the ones on his face. It seemed to pulsate gently, occasionally giving a small shudder. No wonder he'd been so nervous. When you looked back up into Gaster's apprehensive eyes, you told him exactly what you thought.

"It's beautiful."

He blinked in surprise. "Oh." Then came the shy, crooked smile; the light dusting of purple across his cheeks. "It's n-not what it used to be but...I'm glad you think so." His soul had begun shining a bit brighter, the random shudders decreasing in frequency. You stared at his soul in awe. Gaster hadn't been exaggerating, now that you thought about it: what you were looking at was essentially him. Everything he was and all that you loved about him was contained in this little white heart. It's fragile appearance began to concern you.

You mustered up the courage to ask, knowing he likely wouldn't enjoy the question. "Does...does it hurt?"

As expected, Gaster looked down uncomfortably. "Not physically, no." Before you could ask what he meant, he was pressing his soul back into his chest. You found yourself missing its light. "It's in good enough shape to function. That's what matters."

"Yeah..." You still couldn't shake your worry. "But- you're not in any danger of...?" It had looked like it was barely holding together, after all.

"It does make me somewhat more susceptible to attacks," he admitted, sighing. "And my HP is fairly low because of the damage. But no, I am not about to suddenly dust on you." He gave a half-hearted smile in encouragement.

"Wait. What's HP?" You squinted. "And what do you mean by 'dust'?"

His smile fell. "Oh...right. Humans don't turn to dust when they die, do they?"

"What the hell?! You mean that monsters-"

Gaster held up a hand to silence you before you started bombarding him with more questions. "Ah, allow me to explain. This...may take a while."


	26. Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your mind won't let you rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: body horror and just general creepiness in this chapter.

For the next hour or so, you were given a thorough explanation about HP, EXP, LV, and what happened to monsters upon their death. "Perhaps you'll be relieved to know my LV is still at one," he chuckled. "Not that, ah...well I'd hope you weren't expecting anything else." You rolled your eyes- because who in their right mind would think _Gaster_ could kill someone?- yet your concerns hadn't been lessened in the slightest.

Inevitably, you had more questions. "You said before that your HP is low..." You eyed Gaster warily. "How low?"

"Well, ah..." Clearly reluctant to answer, he stalled for a few seconds by crossing his legs and taking a sip of the peppermint tea you'd made for the conversation. It had surely gone cold by now. "At birth- or creation, depending on the species- a monster's HP is normally 20. It fluctuates throughout their lifetime based on the health of their soul. In my Royal Scientist days, my HP was typically around 600, but the last time I checked it was...ah..." He cringed, knowing you wouldn't be happy with the answer. "...13."

You felt like you'd been doused in ice water. "Y-you said a single attack can do over 100 points of damage!" All it would take is one angry human with enough malevolent intent behind their hit, one careless strike and he'd-

"But when would I ever be in that situation?" Gaster huffed. "It's not like it's common for people to get ambushed out on the streets-"

"Actually, in a lot of places it is," you retorted. "Humans are violent...especially towards those they don't understand. Remember that guy at the park?"

"Yes. Do you remember how easy it was to scare him away without a fight?" Gaster's tone was calm and firm, leaving no room for argument.

You made one anyway. "But what if he hadn't gotten scared?"

"He showed no indication of wanting to get physically violent. Besides, you do realize the blaster is a  _weapon_ , right? And a rather powerful one at that."

You snorted. "Yeah. As if you'd ever use it like that." Sighing, you added, "Not that it's a fault, but...I really can't see you hurting anybody. Even in self defense."

"That is...true, but if anyone ever put you in danger..." He held your gaze intently. "I'd do absolutely anything to keep you safe."

Despite the way that made your heart flutter, you weren't about to be pacified. "B-but what about yourself?"

His eyes dropped in defeat. "_____..." He was quiet as he considered his next words. "It's good to know you care about my wellbeing. Truly, it's...comforting, in a way, to know someone values my life to such an extent. I know you're only worried, but-" He finally looked back into your face. "Don't be. Anyone could get hurt at any time. Even you could get attacked, or b-be in an accident, or get s-s-sick, and that frightens me _terribly_ -" After a pause to steady himself, he continued. "B-but there's no use working yourself up over things that may never happen. I know it's difficult, seeing as it's in both our natures to be, ah, just a tad bit dramatic-" You couldn't help but smile at that, and Gaster's tense shoulders relaxed. "So please...try not to think about it?"

"I..." Your stubbornness had faded when he confessed how scared he was for you. You didn't know he even thought about those things. Then again, what _didn't_ Gaster worry about? "Okay." You smiled sheepishly. "I guess I'm being a little paranoid, huh?"

He chuckled lightly. "No more than I usually am." He reached up to cup your cheek, simply enjoying the softness of your skin. You leaned into his touch, letting your worries fade as you relaxed in the moment.

Unfortunately, the subconscious mind does not let go so easily.

A few nights later, both of you went to bed exhausted. It had been an _awfully_ long day. You fell asleep minutes after you slipped under the covers, drifting groggily into a strange, hazy dream.

You wandered in a misty, greyish field dotted with monolithic towers. The area vaguely resembled the street outside your apartment building. In the distance, you saw a shape that wasn't big enough to be one of the massive structures. You approached, walking briskly through the heavy silence of the field. After what could have been anywhere from a minute to an hour, you were close enough to make out their face. It was familiar, yet unrecognizable. You could've sworn you'd seen them before, but it didn't dawn on you until they spoke:

"Hey, freak fucker! I'm talking to you!" Oh, _this_ asshole. How the hell did he find out what street you live on? The stranger smirked, saying nothing more. He only pointed past your shoulder. Curious, you turned around.

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sight of another figure looming above you. This time, though, it only took you a moment to recognize him. "Gaster? What are you...you..." Your voice failed once you comprehended what you were seeing.

His scars had grown longer, deeper, and as you watched in silent horror more of them splintered all across his skin. His vacant eyes stared into your wide ones without a glimmer of recognition. Panicking, you gripped his arm to get his attention. It began to crumble beneath your touch. With a choked gasp you stepped back, your head whipping back up to Gaster's face as he softly mumbled your name. The rest of his body was falling apart now, and you knew this couldn't be real, it just couldn't be-

You held onto him him, trying desperately to keep his cracking body together, but with a final, shaky breath he turned to dust in your arms. The particles drifted like smoke in the air and scattered across the ground, painting the already bleak landscape in dull white powder.

And that is where you woke up, jerking forward on the bed with a scream ready to tear itself from your throat. Only the sight of your relievingly familiar bedroom wall, covered in posters, prints, and scribbled notes; kept you from releasing it. Rubbing your forehead, you turned to see if your sudden movement had woken Gaster (it probably hadn't) only to see a vacant space on his side of the bed.

He was an avid nighttime cuddler; it was rare for you to wake up without him practically wrapped around your body. Or at the very least, holding your hand. Feeling the panic rise in your chest, you stumbled out of bed and down the hallway. He had to be here. That was just a dream, an awful one, but still only the product of an overworked mind. There was absolutely  _no way_ it was real. But then where had he gone? Why had it seemed so  _vivid_? How did you-

Oh.

Gaster was standing in the kitchen, his back to you as he leaned over the stove. Just making breakfast. Not dazed, or hurt, and certainly not dead. He hummed jovially, still completely oblivious to your presence. You released a breath you didn't know you'd been holding and shuffled over to him. Without a word, you wrapped your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly from behind.

He gave a slight start and turned his head to look at you. "Ah- good morning, dear," he said cheerfully. You kept your face pressed against him and mumbled a reply. Though you couldn't see his face, the slight tensing of his shoulders suggested he could sense your distress. "Are you alright?"

"Mhm."

He saw right through the lie, but chose not to comment on it. Instead, he gently pried your arms loose and set his hands on your shoulders. "Bad dream?" he asked quietly.

You nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

A silent no this time.

He pulled you in for another hug, summoning an extra hand to stroke your hair. His caresses slowed your painfully fast heartbeat, soothed the tension from your muscles, and soon had you relaxed and back to reality. He held on until you pulled away.

"I'm fine," you assured him, forcing a smile. "I don't even remember what it was anymore." You felt bad for lying to him again, but there was no way you'd ever tell him about that dream.

"If you're sure..." Gaster searched your face and, seeming satisfied with what he saw, kissed your forehead. "I made pancakes, if you want some."

You'd kind of lost your appetite, but they  _did_ smell pretty good. "Yeah. That sounds great." This time you kissed him, though you could only reach his cheek. "Thank you, Wingdings."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh sorry, I made an angsty one again :L Have you ever had those morbid kind of dreams? I was trying to convey that surreal freakiness they have, but it got a little more creepy than I'd intended. Hopefully it's not too bad?


	27. Marker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You create a work of art.

You woke up warm, cozy, and in your favorite place to be: with Gaster pressed flush against your side, both arms wrapped firmly around your waist, and his face nuzzled into your hair. After a moment's hesitation, you reached over and felt for your phone on the nightstand. You were going to be one of _those_ people. The kind you used to get irritated with before you found out why they did this.

With the tiniest twinge of embarrassment, you took a selfie with the sleeping scientist and posted it to your Snapchat story. What? It was a cute picture. Besides, you knew Papyrus would love it. He was constantly gushing over his friends' relationships. Gaster and Undyne didn't seem to mind, but Alphys and yourself were usually flustered by the ecstatic skeleton's enthusiasm.

Setting your phone back on the nightstand, you got comfortable again. You had almost drifted back to sleep when a quick buzzing noise snapped you back to wakefulness.

Sans had texted you. "is he still sleeping?"

Huh. Weird question, but you sent a reply in the affirmative.

"you should draw on his face"

"Why?"

"because it's funny"

Well. Couldn't argue with that logic.

"Okey dokey"

"post results?"

"Definitely >:)"

Snickering, you carefully disentangled yourself from Gaster's arms and went to find a marker.

Five minutes later, you were extremely proud of your work. You did as you'd promised and put another picture on your story. Sans' reply came shortly.

"oh my god"

"Let's see how long it takes him to notice"

"hehe nice"

Another text soon followed.

"papyrus says he is disappointed but he still loves you"

"I can live with that"

Once again, you settled back into where you'd been before. You had to act as natural as possible so Gaster wouldn't know anything was amiss. Sensing your warmth, his arms wrapped around you again. It was adorable. Almost enough to make you feel bad.

Almost.

It was at least another thirty minutes before he groggily cracked his eyes open, shifting against you. You kept your face neutral as he moved down to kiss your forehead. "Good morning," he rumbled, smiling tiredly. The smile you gave in return was on the verge of becoming a smirk. He didn't notice in his groggy state, and turned you so you were laying on your side facing him. Placing a hand on your hair, he feathered more soft, sleepy kisses over your face. It was taking every bit of your willpower not to crack up. "This is my favorite way to wake up, you know," he crooned. Still not trusting yourself to speak, you settled for a quiet chuckle instead. When his lips finally found yours, you had to close your eyes to keep your composure. You lost yourself in the sweetness of his kiss, letting your mind relax as his tongue tentatively explored your mouth...but when you opened your eyes to see one of the ridiculous doodles right in front of you-

You lost it.

Gaster pulled back, confused. "W-wha-? Er, did that tickle?" You shook your head, still breathless. "Then what-" His raised eyebrows lowered. "Wait." The suddenly grouchy expression elicited another giggle from you. Gaster took his phone and used the camera as a mirror, not looking at all surprised as he observed your handiwork. "Sans put you up to this, didn't he?"

"Y-yeah," you choked out through your newly begun laughter.

He sighed irritably, but you didn't miss the smile tugging at his lips. "Hm." He turned his head to look at you, quirking an eyebrow. "Is this a good look for me?"

And here you thought you couldn't laugh any harder. Gaster got up to go wash his face, calling back over his shoulder, "You do know that I'll have to get you back for this?"

"Yeah," you admitted. "That's fair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans is a great- I mean, terrible influence.


	28. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second sin chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no smut, just the stuff that comes before lol. I don't think I'll ever write an actual sex chapter, seeing as I'd have no idea how, so use your imaginations for the rest :v

A confusing jumble of emotions fluttered through your mind. Apprehension, excitement, terror, joy...you weren't sure how to feel when you asked Gaster if he'd like to see your soul...and he had accepted.

In truth, you were hoping to do more than just let him see it.

From what you had gathered, touching a partner's soul was not only emotionally fulfilling, but also felt good. Very good. It was supposed to be unlike any sort of physical sensation, and you were extremely curious to know what it was like. Maybe, if he was comfortable with it, you could let him in on the experience as well.

You sat side by side on the edge of your bed, the door firmly closed (even though no one could get into the apartment anyway). Judging by his hands, Gaster was just as nervous as you were. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked again.

"Positive." You kept your gaze as confident as you could to encourage him. "I trust you."

"I know, but..." He hovered a hand in front of your chest. "Just tell me if you change your mind."

You nodded. He gave you a few moments to say something more and, when you stayed silent, pulled his hand back. You sucked in a sharp breath at the strange feeling in your chest. Your whole body felt lighter, and your mind a bit fuzzier, but it wasn't necessarily unpleasant. You gawked at the brilliant violet heart floating out into the air before you. It was brighter than Gaster's had been and had a smooth, unmarked surface. "Woah..."

Gaster was staring at it in fascination. "Incredible..." he murmured. A dreamy smile overtook his face. "You're beautiful."

You might've blushed. It was hard to tell with how disconnected you felt from your body. You managed to smile back though, and dazedly grasped his hand. You both stared at your soul for a time before a question popped into your head. "Why's it purple...?"

"It's the color of perseverance," Gaster replied, his voice sounding distant and slightly muffled to your ears. "That must be your strongest quality." He chuckled lightly. "I had a feeling it would be."

"Huh..." You giggled as something occurred to you. "We match."

"Hm? Oh-" A lavender blush stole to his cheeks, exemplifying your point. "I suppose we do."

Anxiously, you took the chance. "Do you...do you wanna touch it?"

He looked at you cautiously. "Do you want me to?"

You could feel the blush this time; it must have been stronger. Too nervous to say yes, you nodded.

His eyes softened, and you were certain you saw a glimmer of excitement within them. "Then...y-yes. I would. If you're sure." You gave his fingers a light squeeze and released his hand. He hovered it palm up beneath your soul, moving the heart closer to himself without making contact. "Stop me if it becomes uncomfortable, okay?"

You held your breath in anticipation as his fingers drew closer to the heart's surface, and when they brushed lightly over one of its curves-

It was unlike anything you'd ever felt before. It left you breathless, that warm, tingling, _euphoria_ spreading not only throughout your body, but also...well, you couldn't quite tell where else. The best way you could describe it was permeating through your consciousness. And that was only from a light touch?

Gaster watched you shudder and close your eyes, pleased with the joy evident in your face. "Should I continue?" he asked, already knowing exactly how you were going to respond.

You nodded eagerly. He went to touch your soul again, this time wrapping his entire hand around it. The sound it drew from you worried him at first, but your blissful expression relieved him. He added his other hand, trying to cover as much of the heart's surface as possible.

It was like being completely enveloped by him; you could feel the thrum of his magic and the pulse of his soul through the touch. You wondered briefly how it would feel if your souls made direct contact before all thought was snatched away. With his hands still cupped around it, he had started massaging his fingers along the heart, the caresses sending massive jolts of the strange sensation through you. You let out a smile whine; it was starting to become a little overstimulating, yet you didn't want it to end. However, Gaster caught on and the feeling faded.

He had let go of your soul, allowing it to hover on its own again. You realized you were laying back on the bed. When had that happened? He leaned over you and peered at your face in concern. "Was it too much?"

"N-n-no. That w-was-" You sighed breathily. " _Amazing_."

"Oh." He smiled, tilting his head down shyly. "Good." He helped you sit back up, nudging your soul to its place in your chest. With its return, the strange haze in your head cleared, and your body felt more like your body rather than an extension of yourself.

"How did it feel for you?" you asked, still panting slightly.

"Not as strong as what you felt, for sure, but I could still sense...something. I had, ah, never done this before," he admitted, blushing. "I'm not sure what was supposed to happen."

"I don't care what was supposed to happen, what _did_ happen was awesome."

He chuckled at that. "Yes, I suppose that's all that matters."

There was an awkward pause as you debated whether or not to make the offer. Finally, you decided to just go for it. The worst he could do was say no. "Should I, uh...return the favor?"

"O-oh. Ah, you really don't have to-"

"But I'd like to. I mean- if you're okay with it, of course."

"I- I am rather curious..." he confessed, playing with his hands. After a brief silence, he looked back to you with renewed confidence. "Yes. Might as well give it a try, right?" he beamed.

You snorted, but voiced your agreement. His hands were steady for once as he removed his soul and handed it to you. Yours however were cautious, perhaps a bit excessively so, as they slid beneath the heart. The cracks still concerned you. "Let me know if anything feels...off..."

Gaster gave you a reassuring smile. "I don't see why it would. It's really not as fragile as it looks."

"R-right." He probably _was_ right, yet you'd never forgive yourself if you hurt him. Hesitantly, you rested a finger on the heart's side, closely watching Gaster's face. He showed no signs of discomfort. On the contrary, your tiny touch seemed to have a very positive effect. He shuddered in delight as you added another few fingers, stroking them down along his soul's edge. The cracks didn't feel as rough as you'd expected. His soul emitted a lovely warmth, both in its heat and energy. You began using both hands like he had, trying to put as much love and positivity into your caresses as you could. Humans couldn't use magic, but they could still convey a sort of magical energy through their intent, as Gaster had told you at one point. It seemed to be working.

He was hunched forward now, panting and gripping the sheets so hard that his hands trembled. Your fingers traced the cracks delicately, reveling in their unexpected smoothness. Lifting his soul to your lips, you pressed a kiss near its center. He released a strangled moan at the thrill it gave him. You figured that was a good stopping point.

As he sat there shaking, you shifted closer to guide his soul back into his chest. His breath hitched as it was returned to him. There was a glint in his eyes you only saw when he had totally relinquished his self-control, something wild and predatory. You squealed in equal parts surprise and delight when he gripped your shoulders, pulling you with him onto the bed. You landed pretty hard on top of him, but if it caused him any pain he didn't acknowledge it. His kiss was desperate, eager, and overall very unlike him, telling you exactly what he had in mind.

A low growl rumbled from his throat, his arms snaking around your back to pull you closer. His fingers dug into your sides possessively, and when he shifted his head to let his teeth graze your neck you couldn't stop the chill that ran down your spine. Abruptly, he rolled so you were lying beneath him on the tousled sheets. For a few moments he was still, letting his eyes run over your body and up to your reddened face before leaning down to give you a surprisingly gentle kiss. Your shirt had a low collar, leaving much of your neck and collarbone exposed. He ducked his head down, lavishing the sensitive skin there with his affections. Many of the attempted kisses ended up turning into sharp bites instead; it was like he couldn't help himself.

His physical hands were being used to hold himself up as he knelt over you, so a second pair was summoned to pin your wrists above your head. More appeared to grab your hips, slide down your thighs, run through your hair- you started to lose track of them as the low, harsh snarls he made against your neck were much more distracting. He was never more vocal and careless than at times like this. Still, he paused, blushed, and looked at you as if asking for permission to go on. You smiled and nodded. It was hardly a new routine, yet he always checked to make sure he wasn't being too forceful. He smiled back, though at the moment baring his teeth made him appear slightly feral, and continued.

One of the hands tugged at the bottom of your shirt, waiting for another nod from you before tearing the material up over your head. You stifled a laugh as a pair of hands started folding it, struck by the ridiculous contrast in behavior. Gaster silenced you with a deep kiss, his hands taking advantage of the moment to set the folded shirt neatly on a nearby chair. Your arms were still being pinned down, so you used your teeth to tug at his collar. He got the hint. Once the skin of his chest was exposed, you lifted yourself up to kiss it. Startled by the sudden move he faltered, hands loosening slightly on your wrists. He closed his eyes and leaned down closer to let you reach.

Something surprisingly hard pressed against your leg as he lowered. You didn't need to glance down to know what it was, but did anyway. Smirking, you ran your tongue up in a long swipe towards his neck, eliciting a soft whimper. His hand released one of your wrists when you attempted to tug it free, letting you stroke the side of his face. Your fingers traced the scar above his eye and reached around to the back of his head. He gasped when you pulled his face down to yours. You snickered in satisfaction at his surprise, determined not to completely relinquish control. The challenging spark in Gaster's eyes gave you the impression that he was too.


	29. Cinnamon Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a very mature sense of humor.

Gaster seemed to be staring at you quite a lot today. You had no idea why, as you didn't think your behavior was any different than usual. The two of you worked on the project in a comfortable silence. Around noon, when you were carrying a heavy box over from the table, he finally spoke up.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh...yeah. Why?" you asked, dropping the box on the floor by your workspace.

He frowned at the grimace on your face. "Are you in pain? You've been limping a little."

Oh. You could go somewhere with this. "Yes, I am." It was a struggle to keep a straight face. "And whose fault is that?"

You could almost see the gears turning in his head as he processed your words, the look of befuddlement soon dropping into one of mortification. You wheezed with laughter, making him blush even darker. "_-_____!"

"Yeah, you were saying that last night too."

"Good lord, what has gotten into you?" he scolded.

"Don't you mean _who_ -" A violet hand appeared out of the air to shush you before you could finish that sentence. You brushed it away, snickering. "Aw, don't be like that."

"If you're going to make jokes at my expense, then perhaps I shouldn't talk to you anymore," Gaster pouted, turning away and crossing his arms.

"Wingdings," you cooed. He remained obstinate. "Darling." He cringed, and you remembered how much he hated that name. Stifling a giggle, you tried again. "My precious cinnamon roll."

That got his attention. He looked back at you over his shoulder, asking, "Why do you always call me that?"

"It's an internet thing."

He rolled his eyes and huffed. "I should've known. You and Sans spend far too much time there."

"Do you know what it means though?"

He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"It means you're adorable. Too good and pure for this world."

He flushed a light shade of purple, his irritable facade dropping. "Oh."

Never did you think you'd find yourself flirting with memes, and especially not for it to be working. "You are the rarest Pepe."

"I'm...I'm what...?"

"Uh- you know what, never mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhh I'll try to get a full chapter up tonight ;=; Have this short silly thing for now.


	30. An Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys and Undyne have something important to share.

A torrent of tomatoes hurtled towards you as you stepped into the kitchen. You ducked just soon enough to dodge them, at this point fully accustomed to the flying vegetables. Well, technically fruits. Whatever. "How's the lesson going?" you asked.

"WONDERFUL!" Papyrus beamed.

"Kickass!"

"UNDYNE, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SWEARING?" He whacked her on the hand with a wooden spoon.

"Shit! Did I do it again?"

"UNDYNE."

Yeah, they were doing fine. You told Sans as much when you returned to the living room. He was sitting on the floor beside Frisk while they watched a movie. Toriel was on a beanbag chair on Frisk's other side, and gave you a warm smile in greeting. "thanks for checking on them. i'd have done it myself," Sans said, shrugging, "but this carpet is really comfortable." Tori shook her head at him in disapproval, wordlessly chiding him.

You rolled your eyes, still replying with, "No problem." Alphys' anxious movements on the couch caught your eye. She'd been fidgety all evening, stuttering and glancing away even more than was usual for her. It was starting to become concerning. Still, if something was really wrong, Undyne would have noticed by now. With that in mind, you settled back into your spot beside Gaster, subtly pressing against his side. He smiled and put his arm around your shoulders. "Thanks for bringing me with again. It's always so fun here," you told him, whispering so you wouldn't interrupt Frisk's movie.

"Of course, love. I think they like having you over as well. You give them hope," he mused. At your curious look, he elaborated. "There aren't many humans- well, besides Frisk, of course- who would be comfortable in a house full of monsters, let alone _enjoy_ being around them." He lightly squeezed your shoulders with his arm, smiling contentedly. "Even fewer would be happy with...ah, d-dating a monster." You didn't miss his slight blush. "Perhaps if more humans could get to know us like you and Frisk do, we can coexist without further...conflict."

You'd never even thought about that before. You were certain you and Gaster weren't the only mixed species couple out there...but it was definitely not common. It was a little depressing to think about, so you pushed it from your mind and instead took to your favorite pastimes: making Gaster smile and blush. You were successful on both accounts when you said, "Well if every monster were as sweet and gorgeous as you, we could have that accomplished in a heartbeat."

"O-oh- _____..." he giggled, ducking his head. You took the chance to nuzzle his cheek, making him blush and squirm even more. Sans gave an over-exaggerated scoff of disgust, so you called over to him, "Don't worry Sans, you're pretty cute too." You were rewarded with giggles from both Gaster and, this time, Frisk.

It was then that the spaghetti duo burst in loudly from the kitchen. "EVERYONE!" Papyrus said in his constant shout. "WE HAVE MADE A SPECIAL KIND OF SPAGHETTI TONIGHT."

"It's 'important-news-delivering-spaghetti'!" Undyne explained.

"PRECISELY." Papyrus set a massive, nearly overflowing bowl of the pasta on the coffee table. "UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL US!"

Frisk suddenly lost all interest in the TV. " _Ooh, what is it?_ " they signed excitedly.

"I HAVE NO IDEA! THEY DIDN'T TELL US YET."

"So shush up and listen, bonehead," Undyne drawled, tousling the skeleton's hair- er, hairless skull affectionately. "Alphy, wanna help me with this?" It was difficult to tell if Alphys was nodding or simply shaking, but she hopped off the couch to stand beside her girlfriend anyway. "Go on, show them!" Undyne gushed, nudging her arm. Alphys pulled her hand from where she'd had it shoved in her pocket to reveal a bright silver glint on her ring finger.

There was a collective gasp across the room, followed by awed smiles as Alphys stuttered, "W-w-we're eng-gaged." Despite her nerves she was smiling brightly, and you felt like you could have squealed. Papyrus did.

Undyne pulled a necklace out from under her shirt to show her ring on its chain. It probably didn't fit on her webbed fingers, you realized. "We're gonna get married!" she shouted victoriously, lifting her startled fiancée off the ground in a tight hug. Frisk ran over to join them. Tori soon got in on it, as did Papyrus, all of them beaming.

The rest of you got up as well to give your congratulations. Gaster abstained from picking Alphys up when they hugged, having to bend almost completely over to reach her. There were more hugs, some high fives, and you could've sworn Toriel was a little teary eyed. You couldn't blame her; this was the best news you'd heard all week.

"Y-you're all invited to the wedding, of course," Alphys said once things had settled down.

"Yeah! You punks better be there!" Undyne and Papyrus began chattering about wedding plans, and Alphys showed a curious Frisk her ring.

You snickered, certain that you'd be going, as well as who you'd be going with. Said person picked you up in a hug. You didn't bother to protest, having long gotten used to your feet constantly leaving the ground. "Oh, this is wonderful! I knew they were happy together, but to get married..." he sighed dreamily. "It's so romantic."

His excitement was contagious. "I know. I'm so happy for them!"

You smiled knowingly as Gaster's expression grew distant in thought. "You like weddings, don't you?" you asked, trying not to snicker.

"Well-" He blushed, briefly embarrassed. "I've never actually attended one. But the way they portray them in books and movies makes them seem so...so _beautiful_."

"You're such a cornball," you murmured, your arms going around his neck nonetheless.

"Oh, hush. You think it's cute," he said coyly.

His bluntness (and accuracy) surprised you. You shrugged, laughing, and he finally lowered you back to the carpet. "Do you own a suit?" you asked.

"Ah...no."

"Cool! That means we get to go shopping."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alphyne is my canon OTP.
> 
> Next chapter will be the obligatory shopping trip montage. I'm too tired to write it tonight though, so later. Are you as excited for G to wear a tux as I am? :D


	31. Suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take a shopping trip.

Gaster's eyes were wide as he walked beside you into the mall. You caught him staring at the rows of colorful storefronts, chuckling at his awestruck expression. He flushed in embarrassment. "I've never seen so many stores in one place," he said sheepishly.

"I know. And we can go to as many of them as you'd like."

"Really?" He immediately lit up with excitement. You nodded, taking his hand and allowing him to lead you around. It was still early in the day, so there was plenty of time to let him wander before you got your outfits for the wedding.

Shopping with Gaster was like following around a hyper kid at a candy store. A sweets shop _was_ your first stop, actually, which didn't come as much of a surprise.

He was enamoured by the huge selection, fussing over the abundance of chocolate as he tried to choose between raspberry and caramel filled truffles. You told him to just get both. "Why not? They're on sale anyway." On a whim, you also tossed a box of mint dark chocolate into your basket. "It's my favorite," you said defensively.

You ended up leaving that store with the three types of chocolate, some strawberry cheesecake fudge, and a tin of chocolate covered peanuts. Gaster clutched the bag of sugar like it was a priceless treasure. "I think you might have an addiction," you teased, poking him in the side.

He was totally unfazed as he tore open a box of truffles. "As far as addictions go, it's a rather harmless one," he protested, giving you a handful of the chocolates.

Next, you showed him to a music store. You played a bit of the melody from your favorite song on a display piano, and Gaster joined in with the bass part. He giggled when you let your fingers hop down the keys towards the lower notes, ending up with your hand over his. He refused to release your hand through the rest of the store, instead using his magical ones to inspect the piles of sheet music books. You helped him pick out a few good practice sheets, as well as some more advanced pieces. His skills had been improving impressively fast since you began your lessons. "Think you're ready for Vivaldi?" You held up a thick booklet, showing him the scatter of notes across one page.

"Not in the slightest...but let's get it anyway," he beamed.

You visited an electronics store, a gaming store (where you picked up a copy of the latest release), an art supplies shop, countless clothing and fashion stores, and finally made your way to a place that sold formalwear. There was only one suit that was long enough to fit Gaster. You shooed him away to go get it tailored. "Do I have to?" he pouted.

"If you want it to fit properly, yeah."

"Can't you come with me?"

It was hard to say no when he looked at you like that, but you shook your head resolutely. "Nah, I'd only get in the way. Besides, I've got to go pick something too. Just come out and show me when they're done." Sighing, Gaster reluctantly followed the clerk into the back room with the tux draped over his arm. You had plenty of time to kill, so you began scanning the racks of dresses and suits. After picking out a few you liked, you headed off to the dressing room. The first three were alright, but the fourth...

Oh, this one was _perfect_. Knowing Gaster would want to see it on you, you decided to leave it on until he returned. You sat in a chair by the wall and checked the time on your phone. Shouldn't be much longer now.

You had started tapping through your notifications when someone cleared their throat above you. You looked up to see Gaster standing there, hands clasped nervously behind his back and- sweet lord have mercy-

He looked _incredible_. The tightly fitted suit lined his lithe form in a way his loose sweaters never could. Your eyes traversed down from his lofty shoulders to his trim waist, over his sharp hips and finally down those incredibly long legs, taking in every inch with a dumbstruck look on your face.

He wasn't sure what to make of your initial reaction. "Is it...okay...?" he asked tentatively.

You struggled for a way rephrase 'I want to drag you into that dressing room and jump your bones right this instant', but nothing came to mind. Instead you nodded, standing clumsily from your chair. The movement fully revealed your own outfit, drawing an awed sigh from Gaster.

"You look stunning," you finally managed.

He smiled, blushing. "I was just about to tell you the same thing." A hand appeared to rest along your jaw, the thumb brushing over your cheek adoringly. "B-but I'm glad you think so."

You were ready to leap into his arms right then and there before reminding yourself that you were, in fact, still in public. "Welp," you began shakily. "I guess that means we're all set."

"Hey, why don't you have to go get poked and prodded at?" he asked, frowning.

"Mine already fits because I'm not a freaking _giraffe_." A very sexy giraffe. Wow, put that on the list of the weirdest things you'd ever thought.

"Hmph." He took a step back to admire what you'd chosen. "You're right. You already look perfect."

Sweet as that was, it gave you a wicked idea. You motioned for him to turn around. He raised an eyebrow in question, yet complied. You nodded in approval. "Looks great from the back too," you said, smirking. He looked back over his shoulder in confusion. "Great _assets_ , if you know what I mean."

Gaster slapped a hand to his face in exasperation, but his blush was still obvious through the hole in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My G isn't a skeleton, but this person's fanart is still cute as hell if you want to see him looking all snazzy: 
> 
> http://skelesass.tumblr.com/post/139300101620/gs-all-dressed-up-and-ready-to-be-your-valentine
> 
> If any of you know any other good stuff, feel free to link it in the comments. I can't draw or I'd make some myself ;_;
> 
> Edit: this person drew suit G and he looks amazing! Check it out!
> 
> http://mxmousey.deviantart.com/art/Is-it-okay-617330727


	32. The Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There will be cake.

The wedding ended up being much larger than you'd expected. Alphys had claimed it would be "nothing too grand", but apparently there were many more people invested in her relationship than she knew. Dozens of monsters who'd known her as the Royal Scientist in the Underground, as well as those who'd admired Undyne as a renowned Royal Guard captain, were eager to see the ceremony. It was exciting to see so many of their old acquaintances, and in some cases fans, in one place. The decorations were gorgeous, with green and yellow flowers strung along the walls and across the altar. Undyne looked classy and sleek in her white tux, the golden flowers braided into her hair matching those on the wall. Alphys was absolutely beautiful in her stunning white and gold gown. She walked down the aisle unsteadily on high heels, the bouquet in her claws trembling. Despite her obvious nerves, the smile on her face was wide and sincere.

Papyrus openly bawled as the two gave their vows. Sans, wearing a suit for what may very well have been the first time in his life, already had a box of tissues prepared for the occasion. You caught Gaster tearing up a bit as well, but decided against teasing him for once. Frisk, given the task of ringbearer, brought the satin pillow when it was called for. They signed something to Alphys, making her blush profusely as Undyne cackled. Although you hadn't seen what they said, you were forced to stifle a giggle. Only Frisk would flirt with someone at their wedding.

Gaster finally started crying when both the women had said "I do", hiding his face against your shoulder. You chuckled and patted his head. At least they were happy tears. You nudged him back up before he could miss seeing their first kiss as newlyweds, during which Undyne lifted her tiny girlfriend- no, wife from the floor and spun her around. Sans wolf whistled, which left you wondering how he did that without lips. 

You gaped at the crowd during the reception. There were a few other humans, probably Alphys' friends from work, but they were heavily outnumbered by the wide variety of monsters. You found their physiological differences fascinating. Some were humanoid in shape, but with extra eyes or limbs. Many were animal-like, others formless lumps, a few lacking a body at all- and there was one in particular who drew your attention. Talking to Toriel was another goat monster, this one massive in both height and width. He had a few inches on Tori, and you were sure he would've made even Gaster look short. You gasped once you realized who he was. Was that really Asgore? What was the king of all monsters doing here? Then again, Undyne had been his top guardsman. Perhaps they were friends. Gaster noted your shock with amusement. "Ah, that's right, you haven't met Asgore yet. Would you like me to introduce you?" You stared at him blankly. "I'll...take that as a yes?"

"Uh..." How did one act around royalty? That wasn't exactly something they taught you in school, though you'd seen plenty of movies where people talked to monarchs. Would you look stupid if you bowed? Were you  _supposed_  to bow?

"_____." Gaster's voice broke your thoughts. "Dear, don't worry. He's very nice, and we've been friends for a long time." He took your arm, smiling. "Come along."

You trailed helplessly beside him as he led you through the throng. Seconds later, you were standing right behind the king. He was still talking to Toriel, who didn't look at all happy to see him. You weren't sure who to feel more sympathy for; Asgore, practically cowering under his ex-wife's stern gaze; or Toriel, whom you knew was not easily angered. Something must _really_ be making her uncomfortable. Gaster seemed to realize this as you approached, and awkwardly cleared his throat. "Sire?"

Asgore abruptly turned, his face lighting up when he saw the scientist. Toriel's smile was grateful as she slipped away. You wondered briefly what had caused the rulers to split up before a booming voice startled you out of your thoughts. "Doctor Gaster! It's so good to see you! And how many times have I told you, just call me Asgore. None of that formal 'sire' nonsense," he chided. Noticing your interlocked arms, he turned his attention to you. "And who's this?"

"This is m-my, ah-" Gaster blushed, stammering as he searched for the right word. "P-partner, _____."

He hadn't bowed, so you didn't either, giving a small wave in greeting instead. "Hello."

Asgore's expression grew serious, and for a moment you wondered what unspoken royal rule you had broken. But all he did was gape in awe, his eyes shimmering as he asked, "You're in love?"

Thrown off by the abrupt question you instinctively raised an eyebrow, but Gaster only laughed. "Yes. I suppose you were right after all," he told the king. You nodded in agreement, though confusedly.

Asgore beamed, hugging both of you at once. "That's wonderful! I knew you had it in you, Doctor!" When he released you, a teasing smile crossed his face. "I hope this scoundrel's been treating you well?"

Now it was Gaster's turn to blush. Scoundrel? You broke into giggles, shaking your head. "Yeah, he's not bad," you said with a snicker.

"I would hope so," Gaster muttered, yet he still found your hand to intertwine your fingers.

"I'm so happy for you both," Asgore sighed. It seemed he was about to say something more, but he was interrupted by a commotion on the other side of the reception hall.

"_____!" Papyrus called. "ALPHYS IS GOING TO THROW THE BOUQUET. COME OVER SO YOU CAN WITNESS ME CATCHING IT, NYEH HEH HEH!"

Frisk waved to catch your attention. " _Or me_!" they added.

You looked back to the king; he shooed you away eagerly. "Good luck!" he cheered.

Alphys stood with her back to the crowd. "I-I'm, uh, g-g-gonna throw it." She paused. "I h-hope it goes far enough..."

"Oh, it will!" Undyne cackled, lifting Alphys on her shoulders. "Throw it now! It might even go out the window!"

Alphys did. It did not go out the window, but it did go flying over everyone's reaching hands.

Gaster was still chatting with Asgore when the bouquet ended its journey, smacking with an audible thump into the side of his face. Startled, he caught it before it fell to the ground. "What the-" He peered at the flowers in confusion, his puzzled expression only intensifying when Asgore roared with laughter. The realization dawned on him and he blushed a deep violet. "O-oh my." He looked up and saw the others' eyes on him, his gaze landing last on your smirking face. "O-o-h my, I- ah-"

Giggling, you bounded over to him. "Nice reflexes," you commented. He was too flustered to form any words. The king was still rumbling quietly as he watched the exchange, and snuck away to give you some space. Gaster, unsure of what to do, held out the flowers for you to take. Surprised, you accepted them with a smile. He drew an arm around your shoulders as you breathed in their scent, his blush having faded to a pleasant lavender. "Why thank you. They're lovely."

"I've never gotten you flowers before, have I?" he mused. "Forgive me, flower giving is an essential tradition for a flourishing romance. You must think me a _terrible_ partner."

You snorted. "I gave _you_ flowers though. Well, kinda. Remember when I showed you the honeysuckle?"

He nodded as he recalled your trip to the park. "Ah, yes. I suppose this our courtship isn't a total failure after all."

You both broke into giggles, his arm pulling tighter around you. "Hey! If you two are done _macking_ on each other, come get some cake!" Undyne shouted, gesticulating wildly to the massive dessert.

Gaster blushed yet again, but was too excited by the prospect of sugar to be embarrassed. You walked with him across the room, Alphys' bouquet still in one hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all saw the bouquet thing coming, didn't we?
> 
> If these dorks do get married, it'll probably be the final chapter. So not for a while yet. Still, I think they're getting some ideas...


	33. NC - Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author is a sadist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a non canon chapter, meaning it doesn't have any place in the fic but I was inspired to write it anyway. Chapters like this are NOT actually part of the story, they're about things that couldn't happen in the true timeline because  
> a) they involve a specific type of reader, and I like to keep them as gender & appearance ambiguous as I can  
> b) they contain an event that would not be possible/would ruin the entire story.
> 
> This chapter is the second kind, so it's just a sort of "what if" scenario. I apologize in advance for the feels trip. If you're only here for the fluff, you might want to skip this one. It's...not happy :S

It had been about a month since you died, but to Gaster, it felt like mere days. He still hadn't accepted the fact that you were gone. Never again would you be there to wake him from his nightmares, or hold him while he cried- and why would you be? It was _you_ he was crying for, after all.

His dreams had been transformed from dark memories of the void to the last time he'd seen you alive. You'd been smiling, vivacious and healthy as you sauntered away, waving and blowing a playful kiss over your shoulder. He'd reached up and pretended to catch it. One last casual goodbye before you left his life for good. Then he'd hear four sharp pops, a scream of anguish- these were both fabrications of his grieving mind, in reality he hadn't witnessed the event- and recognize that shrieking voice as your own. Sometimes he'd wake up before finding your limp, blood-soaked body; sometimes he would not. What had actually happened was somehow worse.

Two hours before the incident, Gaster had taken you to your favorite spot in the park: a secluded, tree-lined clearing with a perfect view of the sky. You would often go there with chocolates and wine to watch the clouds together. Not a particularly special date, yet knowing now that it had been the last made it one of Gaster's favorites.

As the sun began to set, you'd gotten an urgent text from your best friend. They needed help fixing their air conditioning unit, an essential in the harsh summer heat.

It was such a _stupid_ thing to die over. For a short time, Gaster had been furious with your friend. Yet ultimately he knew that it wasn't their fault, and that they must feel horribly guilty as well, so he refrained from taking his anger out on them. No, he saved that for himself.

At the time it had been nothing. He assured you that it was fine, and that he'd see you later on that evening. With a final kiss farewell, you'd stood and begun walking the short distance to your friend's house.

You never made it that far. Nearly a block from their home, you were held up and shot four times by a stranger wanting nothing more than the twenty dollars in your wallet.

You might have survived if not for the bullet that lodged itself in your throat. According to the surgeons, you were lost even before the paramedics hoisted you into the ambulance. Not that the doctors hadn't tried their hardest to save you anyway.

Meanwhile, your worried boyfriend was pacing his apartment, wondering why you hadn't sent a text to let him know you'd arrived safely at your destination. It was a common practice for you both, something quick and simple to keep each other's anxious minds at ease. He gave it twenty minutes before trying your phone. Straight to voicemail. After spending a tense three hours in a state of near panic, torn between calling the police and going out to search for you himself, he'd finally received word from the hospital. Toriel was the one to deliver the news when he arrived.

His first instinct upon learning you'd been murdered was seething fury, as well as an intense desire for revenge...but he could barely bring himself to leave the hospital after seeing your inert, cold body, let alone summon a blaster. There would be no point. Killing your killer wouldn't bring you back.

Today, Gaster couldn't even bring himself to look at the keyboard you'd left in his living room. The instrument had been shoved back into the closet not a day after your funeral.

The funeral...had been quite an ordeal. Wearing the same suit you'd helped him pick for Alphys' and Undyne's wedding, he remained impressively calm throughout the entire service. The others were more concerned by his stony expression than they would have been by tears. He had to hide his face for a moment when he first beheld your casket. His undrooped eye gave a single twitch as he held his hand over your open grave, letting the engagement ring he never got to present to you fall with a dull clink on top of the polished wooden box. When the last shovel of dirt had been tossed, the attendees began drifting away to go home. Gaster remained. It was only once every one his friends had left him alone, albeit reluctantly, that he allowed himself to kneel before your headstone and break.

He clutched the cold marble in a desperate embrace, realizing that it was the closest he would ever get to holding you again. The headstone did not hug back, but supported his weight as his body was wracked with heaving sobs. He didn't care how pathetic he looked, nor that his pant legs were becoming caked in the freshly turned dirt. Nothing else mattered in that moment but being as near to you as he could. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. There was so much you had left to do together, this wasn't right, it wasn't _fair_ -

Gaster finally released the scream he had held back after demanding to see you at the hospital, ignoring the others' insistent pleas to stay in the waiting room. The still body before him was unmistakably yours, despite the ragged red wounds on your chest and neck, the glazed-over eyes that had once sparkled like stars whenever he was near. How strange it was to see you lying there as if asleep rather than the pile of dust he might have expected. But he'd known better, hadn't he? He didn't remember much after that. Apparently, he had fainted. That was something to be grateful for. Otherwise he may have fallen apart there, in plain view of his friends, rather than in the sweltering graveyard with only the dead for company. The dead could not pity him. There were no weak mutterings or useless words of condolence, only his bereaved wails echoing off the tombstones.

He still had not grown used to the silence in the lab. The radio was there, but what point would there be to using it? Every song would be yet another painful reminder of his failure to protect you. His supervisors had offered on numerous occasions to find him a new assistant. Each time he refused. It was far too soon to replace you.

Some nights, there were good dreams. He'd spend his sleeping hours remembering the sound of your laugh and the way you'd felt pressed close and warm against him, only to be heartbroken all over again as he woke and found your side of his bed empty and cold. Too exhausted to cry anymore, he'd grasp your pillow and smother it to his face, breathing in the tiny, lingering bit of your scent the fabric still held. Sometimes he wished he didn't remember you at all. No one had mourned when he fell, they'd gone on peacefully with their lives as if nothing had changed.

But no, that was the worst thing he could do to you. It was better to be remembered, no matter how much it hurt those who remained.

Gaster knew there would come a day when he stopped living in his head, where you were still happy together, and that maybe someday he would no longer feel the urge to join you. But today just wasn't that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this unnecessarily angsty? Yeeeeah, probably, but it was kind of refreshing to write something serious for once. I still don't enjoy making G suffer ;_; To reiterate, the reader is not dead. Not all the non canon chapters will be this depressing, I swear. They'll be marked with NC so you know they're technically not real.


	34. NC - Brush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another non canon chapter, but not a tragic one! This time, it's for a reader with really messy, difficult to manage hair, and Gaster's adorable reaction to that.

No matter what you tried, you could never get the rat's nest atop your head to behave the way you wanted it to. Pieces of hair stuck out wildly every which way, and the brush you ripped through the tangles did little to relieve them. Gaster would watch you struggle each morning, equal parts amused and concerned by your obvious frustration. "Is there really no other way you could go about that?" he finally asked.

You paused, releasing the handle. The bristles remained caught in the fluff, leaving the brush stuck to the side of your head. With an irritable huff, you responded, "What do you mean?"

"Well-" One of Gaster's ghostly hands gently pried the brush from your hair, setting it on the surface of the vanity where you sat. "Couldn't you try being a little less rough? It would be less damaging, and likely much more effective."

"Wingdings." You turned around and stared at him blankly. "Do you realize how long it takes me to get through this-" You pointed to the poofy mess. "-when I'm  _not_ rushing it? I don't have the patience."

"Well, I do." With the help of his summoned hands, he carried you into his lap where he was sitting on the bed. Another brought the brush over, placing it in one of his real hands. "May I try?"

You snorted, throwing your hands up in exasperation. "Sure, knock yourself out." Perhaps you were overdoing the snark, but mornings like this always made you a bit cranky. Gaster didn't seem to mind. He didn't get to work right away. Rather, he took a moment to pull you nearer to him, making sure you were settled comfortably. He ran his hand over the top of your head, smoothing down the wayward strands and enjoying their softness. He then used his long fingers to stroke through the biggest of the tangles, which ended up working much better than the wiry brush bristles. His soothing motions were pleasant against your scalp. You felt a shiver go down your spine when his caresses reached the back of your neck. He hummed contentedly, pleased with the way you relaxed against him. The hand that wasn't busy came up to cup your cheek, angling your face upwards so he could kiss your forehead. There was no way you weren't bright red at this point.

You melted under his soft touches, feeling very cozy and _very_ spoiled. He had moved on to using the brush now. It didn't hurt like it normally did, gliding through the strands with ease. Both of his arms were now wrapped around your waist to keep you from sliding off his lap with how limp your body had become. This forced him to use magical hands for the task instead. A few more appeared to massage your shoulders and back. You groaned, letting your head fall forward. It all felt so _good_. You could feel the vibrations of his deep chuckle from where you now rested against his chest. You had a sneaking suspicion he'd only offered to help with your hair as an excuse to cuddle, something he was very much fond of but often too shy to initiate. When he had finished brushing, you didn't bother to move. He made no effort to shift you either, but his many hands continued their gentle motions. His face pressed into the top of your freshly detangled hair so he could breathe in its scent.

"It smells different," he remarked quietly.

"Yeah," you mumbled. "New conditioner." Your eyes drifted shut as his warmth threatened to send you off to sleep. "Rose scented this time."

Gaster inhaled, his arms tightening. "I love it."

"Mm." You tried and failed to stifle a yawn. "I'm gonna fall asleep if you keep this up."

"Just a moment." He moved you with him to lie down on the bed, still wrapped tightly around your body. "Alright, go ahead."

You snorted, trying to pull back enough to look up at him. He wouldn't budge, so you abandoned the effort and simply spoke against his chest. "But we just woke up."

"Sleeping is nice. Besides, it's not like we had..." He yawned. "...anything else to do today." He was starting to sound as sleepy as you felt.

You couldn't argue with either of those statements. "True. Okay." Since he didn't seem very keen on letting you move, you kissed as close to his jaw as you could reach from your current position. "Thank you, my cinnamon roll."

Already halfway unconscious, Gaster returned the gesture with a kiss to the top of your head. "Anytime, dearest."


	35. NC - Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days, you couldn't feel anything at all.

You awoke long before the sun had risen, and had no idea why. Gaster snoozed away peacefully beside you, showing no signs of having one of his nightmares. You hadn't heard a crash, so Mortimer wasn't up to anything mischievous.

So then what-?

Oh. As your mind began to wake up, the cause made itself clear. It was going to be one of _those_ days, then.

There was no point in trying to go back to sleep. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed and meandered to the kitchen in search of coffee.

On second thought, maybe caffeine wasn't a good idea. You didn't need it anyway. Your body was completely replenished, yet not at all energetic. Lethargic, actually, so you sank into the couch. Grabbing the book you kept on the coffee table for these occasions (it had gone untouched for so long), you flipped through its pages. You were still doing this when Gaster shambled into the living room, blinking sleepily. "You're up early," you mumbled.

"So are you." He shuffled closer, obviously very tired. So why was he awake? It almost seemed like he had read your mind when he added, "I got cold. Couldn't sleep."

"Sorry."

Something in your lack of a tone got his attention. You really should have been trying harder to act like yourself. If you didn't do something soon, he would get worried, and you didn't want to deal with two people's problems right now. The callousness of that thought almost made you feel guilty.

His brows knitted together in concern. "_____, what's wrong?" Too late.

Ah, that's right. He had yet to see you on one of these days. You'd thought you might be getting past it, that maybe having some love in your life had pushed it away. At least you'd gotten a brief reprieve. Now, you just had to face the added challenge of getting through it _and_ keeping Gaster calm.

What almost scared you the most was that you could see that look of worry on his face- the face of this beautiful monster who'd given you his heart, to whom you'd given _your_ heart; who could normally send your soul soaring with his crooked smile...

And feel nothing.

You did feel _something_ , a faint flickering in your chest, but it wasn't a true feeling. Just a memory of one trying to force its way through, but something in your head was blocking it. You couldn't tell him any of that. It would break his heart to know that at this very moment, you felt nothing for him. For anyone.

The fact that you were still thinking of how you felt would make _him_ feel assured you that this was just another low day. It was temporary. Tomorrow, or the day after, or maybe even as far ahead as a week, you would feel something again.

At least, until the apathy returned. And it always did, at some point or another.

Your long silence was threatening to send Gaster into a panic. He'd been saying your name with increasing intensity, but you'd been so lost in thought that you hadn't noticed. You finally responded, noting absently that he'd placed his hands on your shoulders. "Hm?"

The sight of water gathering in his eyes stirred that flickering once more. It was a fair bit stronger this time, and you tried desperately to hold on to it...but it quickly slipped from your grasp. You forced yourself to focus on Gaster instead. "_____..." His voice was strained as he held back tears. "W-what's wrong? Please...I want to help, b-but I don't know how..."

 _Damn_ this, _damn_ you, _damn_ him-

No. That was unfair, it wasn't his fault. You had to find an explanation, and quick. Your mouth opened, closed itself, then opened again and hung there vacantly. No words came. The flickering did, though, and Gaster's worry made it stronger. Great. Now both of you were crying.

His breath hitched in his throat when the first droplets trickled over your cheeks. He raised a hand to brush them away, shivering at how cold your skin felt. "_____...love, are you sick...?"

You released a dry, humorless bark of laughter. That was certainly one way to put it. All of a sudden, you had a way to tell him. Swallowing to clear your throat, you spoke. "You know how some days, you're really...afraid? Sometimes for no reason?" He nodded, confused. "And how no matter what I do I can't make you feel safe again, but you always say it's not my fault?" Another nod. Understanding was beginning to spread across his face. "I've got that, except instead of fear it's..." You couldn't find a word for it.

He didn't need one. "You're depressed."

There was no flicker this time, but a sharp pang. Your eyes stung again as you nodded. You hadn't been expecting such bluntness, it shook you.

Gaster was silent as he considered his next action. A summoned hand wiped your newly fallen tears away. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked. You shook your head no. "Alright. Would you like to be alone?" You hesitated, but gave another tacit refusal. Without a word, he sat on the couch beside you, leaving a buffer of personal space for you to keep or break at will. You chose to press against his side, letting him wrap his arms around you and rest his chin on top of your head. There really was nothing he could do. Simply being there was enough.


	36. Stardust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because who doesn't love a guy who can sing?

The second time you brought Gaster with you to Grillby's was significantly improved from the first. He had long gotten over his jealousy, and didn't seem disturbed by the bartender's friendliness towards you. He was also happy to get more involved in the conversation. To your surprise, he admitted to enjoying the busy atmosphere of the bar. "I just love being around people," he beamed. "Even drunk ones. _Especially_ drunk ones, they're the most fun!"

Sans snickered. "Guess we'd better order another round then, eh?" Grillby acknowledged the indirect request with a slight incline of his head, and bent to retrieve another bottle from under the bar.

You took a sip from your newly filled glass, choking a bit at the harsh, smoky flavor. Gaster tossed his back effortlessly. You quirked an eyebrow, an expression he didn't miss. He blushed, grinning sheepishly. "I bet you were quite the party animal in college," you joked.

His blush grew deeper as he shook his head vehemently. "Oh, no not at all. I just went to a lot of, ah...gatherings with acquaintances."

"Soooo...parties?"

He rolled his eyes, sighing. "Very well, if you must call them that. They were never wild, though, and it was only ever small groups of close friends. They were more like, er...hangouts? Fun, but calm. It was nice." You could tell by his loose vocabulary and rambling sentences that he was already a little tipsy.

"And I'm guessing you drank a lot at these 'gatherings'?"

"That we did. Though the alcohol wasn't the focus, we were more interested in the conversation and enjoying each other's company."

"Huh. Yeah, that does sound nice." It was interesting to hear a little about his younger years. Neither of you talked a lot about your histories, though that was mostly because the topic never came up. Your usual discussions were about science, work, books and movies (particularly Gaster's beloved documentaries), ambitions, your future together...but not much concerning the past.

"so what exactly did ya mean by 'enjoying their company', eh dings?" Sans interjected.

Gaster's look of innocent confusion was too precious to laugh at. You were still smirking, though, which Sans took as enough of a success. "What? I don't get it," Gaster pouted.

"Nothing, my sweet cinnamon roll," you assured him, patting his arm. He really was too pure. It made sense though, seeing as you were his first- well, everything; so he actually wouldn't have been doing anything so lewd as Sans was suggesting. 

He looked ready to insist you let him in on the joke, but quickly got distracted by the latest melody to play on the jukebox: (insert a song you like here). He gasped, pointing to the machine excitedly. "I know this song! You showed me this one!"

This time, you did laugh. "Yes, I did. You like it?"

He nodded, his eyes closing halfway as he listened to the opening measures. He hummed along with the first verse. You were surprised by his accurate pitch. It made you wonder...

"Hey Gast?" He opened his eyes fully and stopped humming. "Do you know how to sing?"

"Err..." He shrugged nonchalantly. However, his hands has begun to fidget.

"So you do?"

"Kinda...?" Under your pressing stare, he sighed and went on. "I used to do it at those _parties_ as you so named them. I'm not very good, though..."

"Aw come on, I bet you're great!" You shifted your barstool closer, leaning forward on your elbows in interest. "Show me?" Sans and Grillby had been discussing something, but now stopped and watched you both curiously.

Gaster noticed their stares. "Uhhh...n-not here." Seeing your disappointed pout, he added. "At home. Maybe."

You grinned. That was definitely something to look forward to. Right now though, there were shots to drink. By the end of the evening, you were both on the edge of tipsy and drunk. You'd had to drink nearly three times as much as the others to reach the same level of buzzed. A pleasant tingling resonated in your skull, the world before you slightly wobbly. Fortunetely, you were still coherent enough to walk Gaster and yourself home. He offered to teleport you both, but reconsidered once he realized you might end up somewhere on the opposite end of town. "It's tricksy magic. Takes precision," he insisted. "I don't want to endanger you." So you walked. Or rather, stumbled. Regardless, you arrived at your apartment complex safely.

You stopped at Gaster's door instead of your own. He didn't question it, and unlocked the door to wave you inside. "After you, my dear." He gave a partial bow, having to hang onto the doorframe to keep from falling forward.

You pecked him on the cheek as you passed, making him blush even more than the alcohol was already doing. "Thank you. Such a gentleman."

Once inside, you led him over to the keyboard in the living room. He shot you a questioning glance. "I'm gonna play a piano accompaniment, and you-" You patted his chest lightly. "Are gonna sing. Beautifully, I bet."

"Oh..." Gaster fidgeted uncertainly. "Okay. Ah...what song?"

"(The song you thought of before), of course. You know all the words?" He nodded. "Cool. Cool cool coolio." Hopefully, you weren't too drunk to play the part correctly. You both got situated comfortably on the couch, though Gaster's posture was a bit stiff. He relaxed when you scooted closer so the sides of your legs were touching. "Ready when you are," you told him.

Taking a deep breath, he gave a slight nod. You began with the opening notes. When it was time for the vocals, he started off shaky, but gradually drifted into something surprisingly... _resonant_. It was a type of sound you'd never heard from him before. Enthralled, you struggled to keep playing steadily. His mellow baritone was just on the verge of being a bass, and had a rumbling, slightly raspy quality. If you'd liked his voice before...you loved it now. He looked lost in the music, his expression dazed and distant. Though honestly, that may have been due to the alcohol. You briefly wondered if he might sound even better sober.

The song was finished far too soon. He looked to you apprehensively, waiting for a reaction. You said nothing but hugged him tightly, clinging to his side. His singing had struck a chord in you (ha!), the feeling made stronger by your inebriation. He returned the embrace with an arm around your shoulders. "So it was, ah, okay...?"

"Incredible." You chuckled as something occurred to you. "I thought you said you'd never gotten into music?"

He scoffed lightly. "I don't think a silly party trick counts."

You looked up at him seriously. "That was much more than a party trick. It was...you've got  _talent_. It's like..whenever you try something new you're just naturally good at it."

"Ah..." He blushed at the praise, figdeting. "I don't know about that..."

"Really," you insisted. "You're fantastic." You were pleased with his bashful smile, as well as his hand interlocking its fingers with yours.

"I'm glad you think so."

"I know so. Also, you know this means we're gonna throw some vocals in with your piano lessons, right?"

That made him look a bit nervous, but he smiled anyway. "Right."

"Also you have to sing for me on my birthday. And just in general."

"Anything for you, love."

"In front of all our friends. And everyone at Grillby's."

You felt a little guilty when his face dropped in terror, laughing and assuring him you weren't serious. Your teasing earned you a light thwap on the nose, but he hadn't stopped holding your hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, anyone who's seen my main blog knows I'm major Bowie trash, so it was inevitable that I'd throw one of his songs in here. Though of course, it's fine if you'd prefer to imagine a song you like.
> 
> Edit: changed it to make it more vague


	37. ((Update))

Okay, so school's been _super_  busy lately. I'm in my senior year of high school, and of course I've been letting my work pile up until the last minute and now have a lot of things to take care of. I've kinda been using this fic to cope with the stress (which is why I kept bombarding you guys with constant updates, sorry if that got annoying >_>) but I think I need to step back and focus on my schoolwork & graduation. I really don't want to give up on the story, so that means it's going on a temporary hiatus. I can't give an exact timeframe, but there are about two months of school left so...around that, maybe? Could be more or less depending on when I get my shit together. I won't be going to college straight away (I have no freaking clue what to major in yet lol) so I'll just be working, giving me some free time to devote to writing and whatnot.

See you soon-ish. Thank you all for the support so far.

Especially you, frequent commenters, I see you and you're greatly appreciated (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

Edit: Holy shit, I didn't even notice at first but this has hit over 300 Kudos! Thank you so much :')


	38. Wonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take Gaster out for his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sticks m legy out really far* yes hello I have returned with more dumb fluff because what the heck else am I going to write? School isn't over yet, but I've completed my most taxing work and no longer feel an overwhelming sense of dread when I think about graduation so I think we're good! I can't promise updates will be as frequent, though. Still. The story's back on \o/

"Ah, blast it-!" Your head whipped around in surprise, looking to find Gaster rubbing at his forehead on the other side of the kitchen.

You quit perusing the fridge for leftovers and scurried over. "What happened?"

"I, ah..." He gestured to an open cabinet far above your reach. "Hit my head," he explained, embarrassed.

You snorted, standing on your tiptoes to nudge it shut. "Be more careful, giraffe."

He grumbled at the nickname, but the light smile he wore negated any real irritation. You returned to the fridge and pulled out a pizza box. Neither of you felt like cooking tonight, and this was only a day or two old so...it'd do. "Speaking of giraffes," you continued, "Your birthday's coming up soon, right? June 6th?"

He looked over from the shelf he'd been scanning in shock. "You remembered? Er, yes, it is. But what does that have to do with giraffes?"

"Of course I did. I remember everything you tell me." You watched him blush and fidget with his hands before presenting your idea. "Have you ever been to the zoo?"

His puzzled stare was the only answer you needed.

"Okay, so that's a no." You popped the slices in the microwave and turned to talk to him while they heated, leaning against the counter. "It's a place where humans keep animals. You can go see them there, it's pretty cool. There's one downtown and I thought...maybe you'd like to go for your birthday? Since you like nature and stuff." No matter the many months you'd been together, asking him out was still a nerve wracking experience. A smudge on the wall suddenly became very interesting to look at. "I was gonna take you as a surprise, and I hate to spoil it, b-but then I wasn't sure if you'd like the idea so I thought I'd ask just to-" You jumped when the microwave beeped. "Uh, yeah. So what do you think?" 

"Oh..." You forced your gaze away from the wall, relieved by the excitement evident in his face. You could practically see stars shimmering in his eyes. "That sounds wonderful!" He glanced away, blushing yet again. You were proud of the fact that you could cause that reaction so often. "It's very thoughtful. You really don't have to do anything special, I stopped caring about such occasions long before-"

You quickly shushed him. "Yes I do. Everyone deserves something nice on their birthday." You grinned. "Besides, what kind of partner would I be if I didn't treat my precious cinnamon roll?"

He quirked an eyebrow, smiling back nonetheless. "You know, that doesn't seem quite as endearing now that I know it's an internet joke."

"A meme," you corrected. "And that doesn't make it any less sincere." 

"Right," he sighed, amused. "In any case, that plan sounds lovely, dear."

And so it was you found yourself on the other side of town, leading a very eager Gaster to the first exhibit at the zoo. You spotted a few other monsters among the crowd, equally enthused to see creatures they'd only ever seen in movies or, according to Alphys, the very few intact books and video games that had fallen into the dump.

"Oh, I know about these!" Gaster pointed to the gorilla enclosure. "Primates are closely related to humans, aren't they?" He didn't even give you a chance to respond before rattling off more facts. Unwilling to interrupt him you listened, bemused. He went on for a solid five minutes before he realized what he'd been doing. "-and that was when their evolutionary tree branched into...er..." His gesticulating hands froze and lowered. He clasped them to keep them still. "Sorry."

You waved a hand dismissively, insisting, "It was interesting. You're adorable when you get excited, you know."

"Oh. I, ah...I'm glad you think so." You couldn't help but smirk as he hurriedly changed the subject. "What's your favorite animal?"  
   
"Hmm..." That was a tough question. How could someone pick just one animal when they were all so cool? "I dunno. I like birds."

"Then lead the way." He gestured foward with a flourish, taking your arm. You lead him towards the aviary, snickering. What a dork.

Inside you were met with a cacophony chatters and chirps from the building's inhabitants. Bypassing the canaries and pigeons, you made your way to a quieter corner where there stood a wide glass case containing an artificial forest. "Now _these_ are my favorites."

Gaster peered through the plastic trees, confused. "...what are they?"

You pointed to a speckled lump hidden among the branches. "See, right there? And there's another one towards the back."

He squinted. "Er...it all sort of blends together..."

As the realization struck you, you rolled your eyes. "Just wear your glasses. No one is going to care what you look like."

"Yes they will, I'll look atrocious," he argued, crossing his arms. "I didn't bring them anyway."

You reached in the tote bag you'd brought and retrieved a glasses case, wordlessly holding it out to him. When he hesitated, you nudged his arm impatiently. "Go on. I want you to see this."

Grumbling, he complied. "Why did you even bring these with you?"

"In case you needed them," you answered simply. Before he could get flustered, you pointed back at the case. "Here, take another look."

This time he gasped. "Oh, owls! Fascinating creatures. And, ah, very effective camouflage."

"Yeah, and with your glasses on you even look like one!" His grin fell into an exasperated glare, though the expression's severity was lessened by his magnified eyes. "Aw, c'mon, I'm just teasing. And it's a good thing," you insisted. "Owls are cute. So...what can you tell me about them?" His face immediately flared back up into a broad smile as he switched into teacher mode. For the next ten minutes, Gaster informed you on all there was to know about the order Strigiformes. As you walked past more displays, he turned to describing each of the species you saw.

Eventually, you made it to the end of the hallway. "Wow. I feel like I just went to school, except I actually learned something."

Gaster laughed despite himself, trying unsuccessfully to stifle his giggles. "Your poor teachers. And here I thought you were a good student."

"Uh...define 'good'." Your grades had been decent all throughout school, but passing a class doesn't always mean you retained any long-term information. "You'd make a great teacher, you know. If you ever get tired of working for Doctor Bitch, you should go for it."

"Oh, I-I don't know about that..." he muttered, glancing away. "I don't have any experience in that regard."

"Wasn't Alphys your student for a while? And Sans?"

He shook his head. "Apprentices. Not students."

"Is there a difference?"

"I...suppose not..." His eyes grew distant as he thought it over. "Perhaps I should consider that option. But only once our project is finished."

You clasped your hands, gushing, "Aw, you'd miss working with me?"

In utter seriousness he frowned, replying, "Of course I would."

"Oh." Your smirk faltered. "Well, I'd miss you too. Though, uh, we do live literally right next to each other."

"Three rooms away, actually. And you'd have me wait until the very end of each day to see you?" He scoffed. "Preposterous."

"Well, nighttime is when the fun stuff happens..."

"_____, we are in public."

"So what? No one's listening. Though I bet everyone can see how purple your face is right n-"

"Oh, look! The aquarium," Gaster quickly interjected. You let him pull you though the blue tinted glass doors without complaint.

Ah, you remembered this place well from your last visit. If you recalled correctly, the coolest part was at the back. You let Gaster take his time walking down the aisles, but eventually caught his attention long enough to drag him over to the biggest tank. "I think you'll like this," you remarked proudly.

He stared through the wall of glass, enthralled. This time, there was no rapid explanation of what it contained (though he surely knew a few facts about it), only awestruck silence. A flourishing coral reef stretched the entire length of the tank, teeming with all sorts of exotic fish and plant life. It was pretty standard for a zoo, but you knew Gaster had never seen such a thing in person. After spending so long trapped in isolation, witnessing the wonder and beauty of the surface world never failed to amaze him. Without moving his eyes from the spectacle, he reached over and took your hand. You were more distracted by that, as well as by the way the dim, blue light reflected in his eyes than the reef. Still. The fish were neat too.

"_____...this is incredible," he sighed. "It's just like what you see in nature shows, but I never knew it was quite this... _vibrant_ in person."

"I'm glad you like it. This has always been one of my favorite things here." You shifted in place, apprehensive about your next question. "So, uh...are you having a nice time?"

Gaster finally tore his eyes from the reef to smile at you cheerfully. "Of course," he beamed. "I believe this may be my best birthday yet!"

"Really? I didn't even give you your cake. Or your presents!"

"Oh my...you really don't have to-"

"And here's the first one." Even after taking advantage of the conveniently placed steps before the tank, you still had to stand on your tiptoes to kiss him. The look of adoration on his face after you broke away felt like a gift itself. You chuckled lightly. "Don't worry, the rest of them are better."

He laughed as well, the sound low and rumbling. "Dearest, I don't believe that's possible."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His birthday is 6/6 ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) Get it? Because his stats...okay, well it was funnier in my head.
> 
> I'm still not quite back into the swing of writing so I feel like this chapter's kind of...off? But at least it's a start. Soon to come is a drama arc! It's something I've wanted to get to for a while. Prepare yourselves :3


	39. Breathless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo thank you so much for the nice comments last chapter! It's good to know people are still interested in this. I feel like I don't reply to comments enough, but I'm a socially inept potato and often don't know what to say :S I always read them though, and you're all very kind.

It was one of those blessedly quiet nights where all was still and silent. Gaster lay peacefully beside you, unbothered by the nightmares that so often stole away precious hours of rest. This was as much of a relief to you as it was to him; lately, you hadn't slept much either. As per usual he had you wrapped up in his arms, and you relaxed with your head burrowed snug against his chest. His body being so much longer than yours, he was able to curl protectively around your smaller form. The gentle aura of security and affection was comfortingly pervasive. Even in your sleep you felt its effects, lulling you into a deep, refreshing, and much-needed slumber.

That is, until your source of warmth rolled away and off the mattress.

You were awakened by the soft thump, blinking wearily at the newly vacant space beside you. You peered over the edge of the bed to see him yet unconscious. Your first reaction was to laugh. Only Gaster could sleep through that. But when he whimpered as though in pain, your amusement switched to concern and you crawled down on to the floor.

"Hey." You gently prodded his shoulder, searching his tense face for a reaction. "You okay?" Seemingly still asleep, he didn't respond. It didn't take long for you to recognize the all too familiar signs: he was caught yet again in the throes of a haunting memory. Some internal part of you withered. And he had been doing so well...

But there was no use dwelling on it. You performed your routine of light shaking and calling his name. In time it worked, and he shot up with a gasp. You had to jerk away quickly before his head collided with yours. He stared at you unseeingly, his breathing sharp and erratic. It was so much like his usual reaction upon being woken that you didn't suspect a thing. "Shh, it's alright," you crooned. "You're safe. It's okay, come here..." Without a second thought, you opened your arms to beckon him closer-

Only to be grabbed by the throat and shoved back against the wall. His terror had morphed abruptly into seething anger; your comforting words dissolved into a stunned silence. Fuming, he stood, lifting you with him.

What surprised you the most was the strength. His touches had always always delicate, his hold firm but soft and comforting. Even his bites were sweet despite their sting. But this...this wasn't like him at all. The merciless grip around your neck could only be described as vicious. With a single hand he kept you pinned to the wall, your legs dangling uselessly at least a yard from the floor. Your mind raced, searching desperately for a rational explanation. It found none. His fingers constricted cruelly to cut off your airway. You felt the crushing ache even as you fought for oxygen. Was he going to snap your neck? _Could_ he? The idea was ludicrous...but then again, so was the thought of Gaster hurting you, and the pain he was causing you now bordered on agonizing.

You stared into his eyes, every detail standing out in startling clarity. They were panicked, confused, furious- and most of all, scared. Scared of _you_? No...it clicked in your head that at that precise moment, he didn't know who you were. Some vital part of his psyche was still trapped in a dark, faraway place; one where something (or seemingly some _one_ ) had frightened him terribly, and his first reaction had been to fight back. What could be so threatening as to drive the ever-pacifistic Gaster to violence? It was the very last thing you'd expect from him, even in the most extreme of situations.

This was a topic you should think about when you weren't being strangled. You had about ten more seconds to reach him before you lost consciousness. At first, all you could do was gasp fruitlessly. With some effort, you managed to use the last remaining bit of air in your lungs to mutter his name. There was a flicker in his focused expression. His fingers didn't loosen their grip though, allowing no breaths that could have bought you more time. What were you to do if you couldn't speak?

Touch. When words failed, the right sort of contact could talk for you. Your hand crept shakily upwards. It stilled when he released a feral snarl, wickedly sharp teeth bared in warning. Your heart clenched. He must have been truly terrified. Loathe as you were to admit it, you were terrified as well. Ignoring the threat, you continued. Gingerly, as if too much pressure would shatter him, you brushed your fingers over the taut skin of his face, even managing to stroke his cheek in what was hopefully a familiar manner. Your arm, too weak to sustain itself any longer, fell back to your side after mere moments. You silently pleaded for it to be enough.

There were a few seconds more of his burning stare before it faltered in its intensity. The moments passed by painfully slow. As your vision began to dim, you wondered if you had just imagined the change in his expression. Then came creeping recognition, the horrified realization that you perceived in a rushing blur as he released your neck, sending you crashing to the floor in a heap. You sputtered and wheezed, hunched on all fours as you struggled to steady yourself. Your lungs gratefully sucked what little oxygen they could before the scratchiness in your throat stopped the flow. The darkness faded away from before your eyes to let you see minuscule specks of blood spattering the carpet with each hacking cough. You flinched when Gaster lunged towards you again. He froze, retreating out of your field of vision, and after what seemed like forever your breathing had resumed a fairly normal pace. Wiping involuntary tears from your eyes, you lifted your head and gazed around blearily. A whiteish lump was huddled on the floor against the side of the bed.

Immediately after dropping you Gaster had stood, mortified, over your quivering form. He reached out to you in distress, but retracted just as quickly when you cowered away. Startled, he skidded back in an attempt to distance himself as much as possible. He stumbled and nearly tripped over something imperceivable in the dim moonlight. Instead of trying to stand, he let his body sink heavily to the floor. He had begun to tremble violently, shock finally setting in as he realized what he'd done to you. Useless murmurs of denial spilled from his throat, soon devolving into a keening whine of despair that you couldn't hear while you recovered your breath. Overcome by guilt, he crumpled in on himself, not even trying to stem the flow of silent tears trickling from those heartbreakingly mournful eyes. This was what you saw when you looked up, and despite what had just transpired you crawled over to his side, albeit hesitantly. He wasn't a threat to you now.

God, you hoped he wasn't.

It wasn't his fault. He would never hurt you willingly, it had to be a mistake. You knew that, and still you remained overtly cautious in your movements. You watched him with a shrewd, wary gaze; well aware that he had come within millimeters of _killing you_ \- but it was pointless to do so, as it was clear that whatever had overtaken him was long past. Now he was just Gaster, your sweet, harmless Wingdings, looking pathetically broken and lost, and oh god he was _crying_ -

It still burned to breathe, and might be even worse when you talked, so you once again settled for second best. Ever so lightly, you touched his shoulder to to inform him of your presence. He wouldn't look at you, only skittering away and curling up tighter. He muttered nearly incoherent apologies between shallow intakes of air, unable to form a complete sentence. "I'm s-so...s-s-so sorry...w-what have I...s-supposed to...to keep y-you _safe_...d-d-don't come n-near me...I...I might...don't want t-t-to-"

"H-hey, it's alright. I'm okay. I'll stay right over here. See?" You winced at the rawness in your voice. At least you could still talk. "Just...try to breathe." You'd do well to follow your own advice, but that was proving increasingly difficult. Your mind was still reeling, your heart rate refused to slow, and you felt the first cold wash of dread that preceded a panic attack. Of all times, why now?! You decided firmly on a new rule: only one person could be freaking out at a time. Gaster was teetering on inconsolable, so currently it'd have to be him.

With that in mind, you forced yourself to focus. You kept your distance as requested. You didn't move. You didn't speak. You just stayed, silent and (externally) calm, and within the hour he had quieted. Too much, actually. You could scarcely hear his breathing over your own heartbeat.

"Are you alright?" The question sounded pointless even as you asked it. Of course he wasn't, neither of you were, nor would you be anytime tonight. "I'm not upset with you. You were just scared." He gave no response. You weren't sure who you were trying to convince. "It was a nightmare." That hadn't been a question, but he nodded almost imperceptibly. "And when you woke up, did you..." All this talking was hell on your abused vocal cords, but you found you couldn't hold your questions back. "Did you recognize me?" A small shake of the head. Just as you thought. Having your suspicion confirmed wasn't as relieving as you'd hoped it would be. "Then who did you think I was?" No response, not even in body language. The silence pounded in your skull. You wanted to scream. A sudden surge of panic fueled your next words. "P-please, just say something. You're kind of scaring me..."

He reacted quickly to your frantic tone, though he was obviously reluctant to speak. When he finally did, the name came out in a low whisper, as if saying it too loudly would summon its owner to that very room. "...Chara."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the angst train *choo choo*


	40. Assuaging Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You consider your options.

By some miraculous stroke of luck, you managed to ease Gaster back into bed. This task had been particularly difficult since he wouldn't allow a single touch of physical contact or comfort. Despite your many claims that you weren't afraid, he obviously didn't trust himself yet. It was so unlike him, all of this was too strange- it just wasn't _right_. You abhorred the empty way the situation made you feel. Eventually your carefully chosen words, begging him to get just a tiny bit more sleep if he could, were convincing enough. He had fallen under again (albeit restlessly) some short time before dawn.

Besides being shell shocked he was dreadfully exhausted, not to mention guilt-ridden. He had kept his gaze cast perpetually downward as if he couldn't even bring himself to look at you. From what you knew about monster illnesses and their connection to emotion, it would come as no surprise if he woke up feeling sick. At least he was getting a little more rest. You, on the other hand, remained wide awake, sprawled a safe distance away on a beanbag chair by your bedroom door. Not like you expected another outburst, but the close proximity had made both of you somewhat nervous.

If you'd been worried before, you were paranoid now. Gaster had either refused or was unable to say anything else that night, leaving you thoroughly confused. Who was Chara? Why did Gaster want to kill them? Fuck, he could have killed _you_...

At first, you tried to justify it. You should have realized the risks long ago. You knew he was...well, the word _damaged_ sounded harsh...but he was undeniably still suffering from what he'd experienced. It hadn't even been a year since he'd escaped the void, of course recuperation would take longer that that. Still, not for a moment had you thought he could be dangerous.

Then again, what did you really know about Gaster? You'd only met...what, nine months ago? How much could you learn about someone in less than a year? Who knew what else he was keeping from you? This wasn't some movie, where having you around would miraculously "fix" six years, which could have been even longer from his perspective, of mental trauma. Was this incident truly a one time thing?

Realizing where your mind had gone, you halted that unpleasant train of thought in its tracks. This had all just been a mistake- a very unforgettable mistake- but all that mattered was that you'd gotten away relatively unharmed. Together, you were sure you could work past it. You had to admit that although you were still reeling from the shock, your throat continuing to ache with every breath...you had already forgiven him.

Was it foolish? Probably. Could you help it? No, not at all. It was then you realized that no matter what Gaster did, unintentional or otherwise, you didn't think you could ever hate him.

Now, you just had to make sure he forgave himself too. Meaning you had quite a lot of work ahead of you. But that was alright, you just had to take it one step at a time. Might as well get started now, you didn't have anything else to do. You heaved yourself up from the chair and shambled to the bathroom. The haggard face gazing back at you from the mirror made you wince. Below it, the blueish stripes of bruised flesh around your neck were even more appalling. No wonder Gaster hadn't wanted to look at them. You spied the (favorite color) sweater he'd given you draped over a towel rack. How it had ended up there you hadn't a clue, but it was giving you ideas. Your gaze flicked briefly from its high collar to the sickly contusions before you scooped the shirt up and pulled it over your head. The marks were much less obvious when covered by its thick fabric. Once your disheveled hair had been brushed into a halfway decent pile, you meandered back to the bedroom and collapsed onto your beanbag chair. There you waited until muted beams of sunlight began to shine through the closed curtains.

Across the room, Gaster was stirring. He winced, clutching groggily at his head. His drawn face was far too pallid for your liking. "Hey," you called softly. His shoulders stiffened at the sound of your voice. Pretending not to notice the thick tension clouding the air, you went on. "How are you feeling?" He shrugged, despite being obviously not at all well. It took every ounce of your willpower not to rush to his side and start fretting. "If you have a headache, I could get you something for it," you offered.

His tacit refusal only encouraged you to try harder. "Come on, then I'd get to see you all loopy again. It'd be adorable." To your satisfaction, his lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. A small one, yet it was progress! You stood and dared to saunter towards the bed, leaning over to be closer to him. Unfortunately this was a poor choice of movement, as gravity had caused the collar of your sweater to hang loose and expose last night's markings in plain view.

All traces of happiness in Gaster's expression flickered and died. He abruptly turned away to slip off the opposite side of the mattress. For a moment he swayed in place, holding on to a bedpost for support. "I apologize, but I must go take care of something." His speech was slightly slurred, his voice so small and timid that you had to take a moment to figure out what he'd said.

"Take care of what...?"

He was already gathering his clothes from their neatly folded stack in the closet. "S-something important. I have no right to ask this of you, but...p-please, trust me."

Your mind flared up in suspicion. All the alarm bells in the back of your head were blaring at full volume. But he'd asked you to trust him...almost like he was accepting the olive branch you'd been trying to offer. "Okay...will you come back when you're done? So we can, uh...hang out, or something?" You didn't know exactly what 'or something' would entail. Likely some serious discussion would be involved. In a best case scenario there would be reconciliation as well, perhaps even a chance to show that your affection for him hadn't diminished in the slightest...but you didn't have very high hopes for that outcome.

Gaster paused, letting the socks in his hands fall back onto the pile. At last he closed the distance between you and lingered within an arm's length. You were relieved by the gentle change in his demeanor, then instinctually startled as his hand traveled near your neck. Fortunately, it was too subtle to be noticed. With a feather light touch his elegant fingers- bathed in pale green magic- caressed your jawline, sending cool rivulets of relief down towards the aching markings. Despite the tender gesture, pain was still evident behind the weary haze in his eyes. "I will return," he answered. He seemed to be slouching. Whether he did it in an attempt to look small or out of sheer exhaustion was unclear. "I'm so sorry," he murmured suddenly. "I'll never be able to apolgize enough." And in an instant, he was once again out of reach.

You still doubted his promise as he traipsed out of the room, concerningly unsteady on his feet. In any other circumstance, you would have given chase and dragged him back into bed to recover his strength. In fact, you were considering that option right then and there. But you hesitated too long, hearing the front door to your apartment open and close. Following would be pointless. You knew you'd only be met with an empty hallway and an even stronger sense of disappointment.

Now you had an entire day to prepare for when he came back- and he would!- where you would use just the right words to put this entire affair behind you. Things would go back to normal.

They had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I had no idea where I was going with this part?
> 
> And sorry for prolonging the tension ;A; The next chapter shouldn't take too long to complete.


	41. The Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He leaves the decision up to you.

It had been three hours since Gaster walked out the door, and for that entire time you had barely left your room. You spent much of it sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into space as you pondered, and the other portion pacing in restless thought. You went over every possible outcome in your head. He might return and decide that your relationship couldn't go on, that you should just go your separate ways. He might just not come back at all. You winced; that would sting the most. He might come back and run straight into your arms...in your dreams, maybe.

Mortimer watched from where he lay on your pillow with curious, golden eyes. Sensing your distress, he padded over and rubbed against your legs, halting your thoughts as well as your anxious circuit around the room. What good was all this worry doing? You decided that continuing as you were was only going to worsen your paranoia. After giving the cat a quick scratch behind the ears, you threw on something clean and headed for the living room.

As you passed the open bathroom door, you caught a glimpse of your neck in the mirror. Closer inspection showed that the bruises were almost completely gone. All that remained was a faint, subtle redness. Gaster's healing magic had done more than just ease the pain, apparently.

You wish he'd remained long enough for you to thank him. Maybe then he wouldn't have left.

Your living room seemed depressingly silent without company. There was no way you'd be able to focus on a book, or a movie. Even a candle didn't sound appealing; the scent would just make you feel nauseous. You went back to pacing. Now, what could you say? Where in the world was he and what was he doing? When would-

You stopped moving. This was pointless. Changing rooms had fixed nothing. Your frazzled brain offered no solutions.

Unsure of what to do, you sank into the couch and prepared for a long, anxious wait. But you were so tired, and the couch cushions were soft...it didn't take long for you to pass out.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when a voice and pulled you back to the waking world.

"_____? O-oh! Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." You turned to see Gaster standing behind the couch, hands twitching as he smiled at you sheepishly. He already looked much better. Maybe he was just out getting something for his sickness? No, that wouldn't have taken so long. "I, ah, made tea. I hope you don't mind."

"Oh. Uh, no. That's cool." You sat up further on the couch. "How...how long have you been here?"

"Ah...approximately thirty minutes."

"Oh. And...you didn't wake me up earlier why? I wouldn't have minded."

"You looked tired." His eyes shifted away to look at the wall. "There's s-something we should discuss."

Only one thing that could be. You'd been expecting this, but a bolt of ice still splintered through your chest. "Okay," you answered numbly.

"...I'll get you some tea first." He returned quickly with the mugs. His own drink was placed on the coffee table and immediately forgotten. You took a cautious sip to ease the tension.

"So." You cast around for something to break the thick silence. "Uh...what were you doing out?" It didn't seem right to pry, but his absence had been stressing you out all day.

Before answering, he lifted one long leg to cross it over the other. "Do you remember when you suggested that I seek professional help?"

Wait...did he really...? "Yeah."

"W-well, I...I was apprehensive about the idea before, mostly because a human doctor wouldn't believe half of what I'd tell them. I'd, ah, rather not be committed to an insane asylum." His light smile diminished. "P-perhaps I should be, actually." Before you had a chance to argue, he continued. "But I've found a monster who specializes in psychiatry, an old collegue of mine from...before. That's where I went today; I was visiting her new office. She doesn't remember me quite yet but she said she'd be willing to help. She also knows about magic and its strange qualities, so she'll understand the situation much better, and, ah- w-well" He chanced a quick look at you. "The first session is this Friday."

This...was not at all what you had expected.

It was a thousand times better.

"That's great!" you beamed. "I'm sure it wasn't an easy thing to do, either. I'm really proud of you."

He looked back down at his hands, shifting uncertainly. "I'm relieved, honestly. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not."

"I mean- you're not _insane_ or anything, but I think this'll really help you."

"Yes, I hope so as well. Though there is...one more thing."

You raised an eyebrow in question. "Okay, shoot."

"I just want you to know that...you d-don't have to...t-to stay. I understand completely if you'd r-rather not, ah, be with me anymore. You've been very caring and patient, even though I deserve n- _none_ of that kindness, and I c-can't bear to be a burden on you. Nor would I want to make you feel unsafe." His voice was so small, and though he tried his best to prevent it his head hung dejectedly; it made your heart ache. You took a brief moment to consider your options. Only one seemed like the correct choice. Unable to hold back any longer, you slowly leaned forward and pulled him close in a tight hug.

Misunderstanding your reaction, Gaster felt his heart sink. This was it, he thought. You were saying goodbye. His arms trembled as they raised to return the embrace. The tears burning in his eyes were rapidly blinked away; he found himself grateful that you couldn't see them. He'd been such a mess lately. It was no wonder you wanted to leave. He truly was a monster; a horrid, deplorable, _repulsive_ monster. You were what he held most dear in this world, and he had almost- he'd been so near to- He squeezed you tighter, unable to bear the thought of ever causing you pain you again. No matter how much this hurt him- and did it ever- Gaster was certain he could find comfort in knowing you'd be safe, happy and secure when you were far out of his reach. For the moment though, he'd indulge himself, whether he deserved to or not. His face pressed into your hair as he breathed in its floral scent for what he believed was the last time. Honeysuckle. The sweet blossom had been his favorite ever since you first introduced him to it.

He was going to miss you so much. Would you miss him as well? He could hope, but it was much more likely you'd prefer to forget about him entirely...

Meanwhile, you were mentally preparing yourself for what you had to say. You had no way of fathoming the depth of his shock when he heard your quiet mumble against his chest.

"I'm not giving up on you."

Gaster froze, silent for an awkwardly long pause. "...w-what?"

You raised your head to meet his eyes. Never had you been one to quit. Perseverance was an essential part of your being; apparently, it was the very foundation of your soul. That desire to endure urged you to stay where you were needed. And boy, did he need you right now. He was finally seeking help, on his _own_ , and you were exorbitantly proud of him for it. Though you still wished he was doing it for himself and not because he was afraid to, well...accidentally murder you. Regardless, in the months to come he would need the support. And to be honest with yourself, you weren't sure how well you'd fare without him either. "I'm not leaving. You're struggling right now, and that's okay- I want to help you through it. I know it's not gonna be easy for either of us, but...you're well worth the effort."

His first reaction was even greater shock, of course, but you felt a swelling in your chest when he smiled radiantly, his eyes gorgeous and bright- and a little blurry. He quickly wiped at them, sniffling. "O-oh. I, ah...sorry. I really am sick of crying," he admitted. The wide grin remained on his face, though it flickered when he next spoke. "...y-you're sure...?"

You snorted, determined to lighten the mood and keep him happy. You'd missed that lopsided smile so much. "Of course, doofus. Did you really think I wouldn't?"

He chuckled, summoning a ghostly hand that began stroking your hair. "I m-might've thought..." His attempt at a neutral expression turned melancholy. "Oh, I was just so afraid to lose you! B-but I didn't want you to feel obligated to stay..."

"Well of course I feel obligated...but only because I care. It doesn't mean I have no choice." Your arms slid around his neck; he was too distracted by what you were saying to realize your intentions. You murmured his name adoringly, thoroughly enjoying the resulting spread of lavender across his cheeks. "I'm _choosing_ to stay. I love you, and I'm not letting you go." With that, you pulled his head down within kissing distance. He didn't make any move to resist.

You pulled apart breathless and giddy, your faces still mere centimeters away. Gaster's breathing was ragged as he breathed your name. "_____...I love you too." His heavy lidded eyes traveled downward languidly. Carefully, watching your face for any trace of fear, he craned his neck and pressed a light kiss to your throat. You sighed, resting a hand on top of his head as he murmured lowly, "If I ever hurt you again-"

"You won't," you intervened. "You're gonna get better. I know it."

Though he didn't look very convinced, he acquiesced with a small nod. "Well...I'm still going to try to make it up to you. I don't know if I ever can, but the least I can do is answer any questions you may have. About anything. No more secrets. You deserve that."

You certainly did have some questions. Mostly about 'Chara'...but they could wait. "Hey, there's nothing to make up for. I'm not upset, remember? You don't have to tell me things you're not okay with sharing. I might want to ask some stuff but...later. For now, could you, uh...c-could you kiss my neck again?" You smiled coyly as he flushed purple.

"Ah, yes...if that is what you wish." His lips brushed over your throat for a second time.

"Mmm...again? Yeah, like that...th-that feels... _really_ nice...you know what? Just keep going." To your ears, the resounding chuckle he gave in response was the most lovely sound you'd ever heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative chapter summary: Gaster is a drama queen.
> 
> Why do all their serious discussions take place on the couch, you may ask? Because the writer can't come up with creative settings, that's why!


	42. NC - Special Treatment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's shark week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really be advancing the plot, but here, have a little non canon thing for now. Even though just about every other reader insert fic has already done this idea, it's part of the reason I haven't updated in a while ;_; Non canon bc not everyone has periods. The reader is still left gender ambiguous though. Actual chapters should be continuing soon.

At first, you were sure you'd caught something. The clenching pain in your abdomen should have made the cause obvious, yet somehow you always managed to forget that this would happen every month. It took three glances at the calendar for you to realize what was going on. No wonder, there was one day left until your period began. You could only think of one correct way to react.

"Ugh, fuuuck this." You collapsed into bed the moment you got home from work and curled up into a ball. The pressure reduced the pain but not the nausea. It was always the worst on the day before. The unpleasant sensations came in waves, giving you brief reprieves before returning in full force. Though you planned to just sleep the rest of the evening away, it was proving very difficult to relax when you felt ready to hurl every few minutes. You pressed your face against the pillow and closed your eyes anyway. It must have been about half an hour before something woke you from your daze.

From the living room came a sudden, staticky popping noise. Giving a slight start, you settled back down when it was followed by a familiar voice. "_____? Are you home?"

That was strange, he'd been planning to stay late today. A muffled "Mmph," was the best response you could muster. You heard Gaster's light footsteps down the hallway before he ventured quietly through your bedroom door. The unmistakable rustle of plastic bags told you he must have gone for groceries. You felt a weight settle beside you on the mattress, as well as a gentle pressure on the back of your head. What you assumed was his hand began stroking comfortingly through your hair. You forced your head up from the pillow to look at him. Though concern and sympathy were evident on his face, he didn't seem at all surprised to see you so miserable.

Unsure of what to say, you settled for, "You're here early." He only nodded, reaching into one of the bags and retrieving a box of chocolates. "Heh. You and your sweet tooth," you mumbled teasingly.

"Normally I'd be inclined to agree, but these are for you." Confused, you said nothing as he set them beside your pillow. He reached into the bag again and retrieved another box, this one of chamomile tea. Floating hands pulled out a blue pill bottle, several water bottles, and a microwaveable heating pad. A hand sheepishly nudged a different bag that he seemed reluctant to open. Through the plastic, you could see it contained the same kind of pads/tampons you normally bought. "I wasn't sure if you needed more of these, but I thought- w-well, just in case." Your silence was making him nervous. Truthfully you were just surprised, but you didn't get a chance to respond before he tentatively asked, "Was I wrong about the date?"

"The what...?"

"For your, er...menstrual cycle? It starts tomorrow, doesn't it?"

"Uh...yeah." How did he know? You certainly hadn't said anything about it.

Apparently, he was even more attentive than you thought. "Ah, I thought so. I saw it marked on the calendar, and you were clearly in pain today-" His frown deepened at that, a hand returning to your hair to resume its soothing movements. "So I did some internet research, and the websites said these are things you might need. Well, not the chocolate," he admitted. "But you seem to get cravings for it whenever this happens. Is it, ah...sufficient?" His hands fiddled with the pill bottle, which you could now see was a cramp reliever, as he anxiously awaited a reply. Your tired mind was still processing all this. He'd gotten you things to make you feel better, without even being _asked_ , while you knew a number of boyfriends would rather avoid their partners entirely for those five days. It was so kind, you actually started to tear up a bit...

Okay, maybe that was just the hormones making you a little over-emotional. But it was still really nice of him.

Startled, Gaster spoke up again. "O-oh my, I'm sorry, did I-?"

"No, no it's okay. Really, this is...it's so sweet of you." You smiled as he breathed a sigh of relief, his cheeks tinted lilac. Ignoring your uterus' protests for the moment, you sat up to give him a well-deserved hug. He returned it gratefully. You took your chance and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, determined to see him an even darker shade of purple. "Thank you, my cinnamon roll. You're the best!"

Aha! There was the violet you'd been hoping for. "A-ah, it's nothing, love. Now, you just relax and I'll-" Unwilling to leave his arms, you stubbornly held tight as he tried to lay you back down. "Please, dear, I need to get this warmed up for you." A floating hand indicated the heating pad. "Would you like a cup of the tea as well?"

"Sure, sure," you sighed, waving a hand flippantly. "But will you cuddle me when you come back?"

You didn't think he could get any darker...though you'd been wrong about that before. "Y-yes...after you've had something to eat. And at least two of these." He held up the pill bottle. "I'll take care of dinner tonight, you should rest."

You let go, reluctantly, and allowed him to wrap you up in the covers. "Uh, Gast? I do appreciate the stuff, but you really don't have to do this."

"Perhaps not, but I want to make sure you're comfortable. And truthfully...I-I, ah- I rather like taking care of you. That is, only if you don't mind it," he added quickly. "If it's too overbearing, just say the word and I'll let you be."

Overbearing...? More like adorable. It certainly wasn't something you were used to, but really, you should have expected it from someone like him. "Nah, I don't mind. Just remember- cuddles, okay?"

He leaned over and kissed your forehead before you could see his face flush once again. "Of course, love. I'll be right back." After tucking you even more snugly into the blankets, he headed for the kitchen. You, meanwhile, opened up the chocolates- dark chocolate with mint, he'd remembered your favorite!- and settled back onto the pillow contentedly. Normally, these were the worst days of the month...but you could get used to this.


	43. Just One More Level

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You rediscover one of the joys of your childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may be able to tell by the lack of activity, I've been having trouble with writing. I can't tell if that's because of irl stress or simply because I'm running out of ideas. Regardless, I still want to see this fic through to the end, and I know how I want to finish it, but there are a few more plot things I want to squeeze in before it's all over. But then I also don't want to do pure plot for the rest because the main purpose of this is silly fluff, so I need cute things to put in between the more serious chapters.
> 
> Which is where my point for all this rambling comes in: if you guys have any prompts or requests for lighthearted scenarios, could you share them in the comments? Even angsty ones, if they're too devastating I'll just make them non canon :3 Though I've still got a few ideas left, most of them are sort of...meh. I figured it would be nice to get some input too since you've all been really cool and supportive! Thanks in advance.

Holy hell, you never knew you owned so much stuff. Well, maybe you did, but you'd been trying to forget the fact that there were this many useless things squirrelled away in your apartment. Today you were doing a little late spring cleaning, starting with the jumbled mess in the closet. Though Gaster had kindly offered to help, you were quick to shoo him away.

"I've got this. Just hang out and relax, you look tired," you told him. However, Gaster was never one to sit idly by while others were busy. You pretended not to notice the occasional violet hand floating into view, helping you carry boxes and shifting heavy objects out of the way. "Look at all this junk. Why did I even keep it?" you groaned, tossing an old, bookworm ravaged novel over your shoulder.

It landed with a dull thump, the sound accompanied by another, much stranger noise. " _Oof_ -! Ah, dear? Please be more careful where you throw things." Apparently, that had been the sound of the paperback colliding with Gaster's face.

You winced, immediately pulling his head nearer to yours to look for cuts. "Sorry! That was stupid of me." His face was fine, but you continued to cradle it in your hands anyway, rubbing your thumbs softly over his cheeks. "Your head sure does attract a lot of errant objects, doesn't it?"

It was extremely satisfying to see him turn lilac. So he _did_ remember the bouquet throwing incident. Though, maybe your close proximity had something to do with it as well. "I-I, ah, suppose it does. Oh, what's that?" He pointed to a worn cardboard box towards the back of the closet.

"Hey, don't you try to change the subject! You're so cute when you get all fluste-"

"Yes, I know, you've told me before," he huffed, feigning irritation. And still looking adorable as heck, of course. "But I'm serious, that box is rather odd. It looks much older than the rest of what's in here."

He had a point. A hastily scribbled date was barely visible on the side of the box. Upon closer inspection, you could make out 199...then something illegible. Possibly an 8? "Sweet, this must be from my childhood! I wonder why it's here?" Most of your old things were still at your parents' house. Curious, you peeled back the cardboard flaps to look inside.

Judging by your reaction, it may as well have been a treasure chest, though you probably wouldn't be nearly as excited about that. "Woah...it's my old SNES!" You gingerly lifted the aging console from its confines. It still had a controller, hopefully a functional one, and some of your favorite games lay scattered on the bottom of the box. "I used to play this thing for hours. Why did I ever put it in the closet...?"

Gaster leaned over your shoulder curiously for a closer look. "Er...what is it?"

"You never had one of these?" you asked incredulously. "I'm surprised, I thought little kid you would've loved video...games...uh..." Oh. Right. "I guess they didn't have stuff like this in the Underground, huh?"

"Not quite. Intact electronics would occasionally fall in the dump, but not often. I certainly never saw one of these," he remarked, turning the console in his hands to look at it from all angles. His head gave a curious tilt as the scientist in him made itself known. "Peculiar..."

You snickered, which only made him more confused. "Here, let me show you how it works." You piled everything back into the box and hoisted it all to the living room. It took a few tries to get the wires hooked up correctly to your TV, but eventually you managed. "Behold..." With a flourish, you pressed the power button. Currently, the cartridge for LoZ: A Link to the Past was inserted into the slot. The screen flickered to life and began loading the game. "See? And now you just press this button to start. And...there we go. Check it out, I've got a sword." You demonstrated by clearing enemies in quick succession, your skills from all those years ago apparently not diminished in the slightest. Gaster watched with rapt interest. He seemed especially delighted by the music. Within the first few minutes, you heard him humming along with the tunes. It soon dawned on you how long you'd been playing while he just sat there, likely bored but too polite to say anything about it. "Here, do you want to try?" you offered.

"No, I'm content with watching. You're quite good!"

"Aw, thanks Gasty- oh." Well, there went one of Link's hearts. You shouldn't've looked away from the screen for so long.

"Ahehe, perhaps I spoke too soon."

"Yeah, well-" In a display of impeccable maturity, you stuck out your tongue in defiance, making him giggle again.

"Go on now, focus," he insisted, waving your attention back to the screen. "You can't win the game if you aren't playing." No argument from you there.

You spent many hours that week on the SNES. Super Mario World, Yoshi's Island, Donkey Kong, Mortal Kombat- all the good stuff. Your top of the line gaming PC had been temporarily abandoned in favor of sweet nostalgia. Sometimes Gaster would sit by and watch, other times he would do his own thing- read, drink tea, do paperwork- but he never tried playing it himself. Oh well, maybe gaming just didn't interest him. All that meant was more time for you to spend on the ( _certainly_ not time wasting) console. Tonight was especially energy consuming, as you had reached a critical level in one of the games: a boss fight. Knowing this one would take a while to beat, you settled down and squished yourself into your beanbag chair in what looked like an awkward, painful position, but was actually quite comfortable. Alright, now you just had to-

"Good evening, _____! I have something for you." Oh, Gaster was home. Well, in _your_ home. He practically lived here now with how often he came over. Not like you minded, of course; the place felt awfully small and lonely without him.

"Uh...just a minute!" The battle had already begun, and you'd be damned if you were going to die right away on the first try. Just need to jump over that attack, send off one of your own, and-

You...couldn't see what you were doing. Gaster had inadvertently blocked the screen by dangling a large paper bag in front of you. "I went to that Italian place you like and bought us dinner. I even got your favorite!" he chirped proudly.

"That's great, but could you-" It was too late by the time you nudged the bag out of your view, you'd been hit. "Shit. Well, I've still got plenty of lives left. Sorry, what were you saying?"

Distracted as you were, you didn't notice the defeated look on his face. "Oh, ah...I apologize, I didn't mean to interrupt." He fiddled with the handles of the bag for a moment before perking up again. "I brought food."

"Sweet! That means we don't have to eat my awful cooking."

Gaster gently thwapped you on the arm, admonishing, "Oh hush, you're a wonderful cook." Unfortunately, his light tap managed to jerk your thumb just a slight bit too much to the left on the D-pad, sending your character careening off a platform and into a pit. "Crap. This fight is impossible. Hey, can I finish this level first? It should take, like, five minutes max."

Despite his nearly inaudible sigh, he responded in the affirmative, "Of course." He went to put the food in the kitchen, asking upon his return, "So how has your evening been?"

"Cool."

"That...doesn't tell me much."

"Mhm." This was a tricky part. You successfully dodged the volley of attacks, only to be assaulted by even more.

"I think we'll be finished with the converter soon. Isn't that exciting?"

"Yeah."

"What do you think we should work on next?"

"Dunno." Damn it, you'd died again. Oh well, back to the beginning it was.

"Well, ah...if you think of anything, let me know." There was a brief pause. "_____?"

"Huh?"

"Am I...bothering you?"

"No." The enemy's health was low, you were so close! Just a few more hits.

"Ah...good. I was hoping to tell you about one of my personal projects. I...I think you might find it interesting."

Engrossed in that frustrating part of the fight where your enemy randomly healed itself, you weren't aware that he had spoken again.

"...perhaps later, since you're occupied," Gaster mumbled.

"Yes! Finally!" The first boss was down...now there were only six more chambers before the next one. You advanced forward after replenishing your health.

Gaster made no more attempts at conversation, and instead settled silently onto the couch behind you. The man was endlessly patient, he wouldn't mind if you did a few more levels, right? It wouldn't take long anyway.

"A few more levels" turned into the rest of the entire game. By the time you reached the final boss, it was getting late. The food had surely gone cold.

"Dearest?" The sound made you jump, you'd forgotten Gaster was still there. "I don't mean to rush you but, ah, are you almost finished?"

"Yeah, just need to...uh..." You trailed off, your concentration sucked back in by the intense battle.

"Alright." Another long pause. "I think I'd like to go to bed."

"You haven't even eaten dinner yet." Of course your first full sentence would be about food.

"I'm...not hungry. Just tired."

"Okay, good night."

"Aren't you coming?" he asked uncertainly.

"Where?"

"To bed."

"Not yet."

"Ah, okay. Good night." Silence. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh, not again," you hissed, completely oblivious to his words, having lost yet another life.

After some hesitation, Gaster rose wordlessly from the couch. He made it as far as the doorway before you realized something was amiss.

"You're going home?"

"I...I already told you I'm going to bed."

"Well yeah, but it's the weekend. You normally sleep over on...Fridays..." Wait. It was Friday. Meaning today had been his first appointment with his psychiatrist, Doctor Starling. You hadn't even asked how it went! Judging by his unusually chipper attitude when he came home, it had either gone very well or very badly. Your heart sinking as you came to a realization, you slowly lowered your controller to the floor. "I've been ignoring you all week, haven't I?"

Seemingly reluctant to agree, he disregarded the question. "It's fine, you're just busy. I don't want to intrude."

"No, I've been playing some dumb game, and you're _never_ an intrusion. Sheesh, no wonder I packed that thing up. I get sucked in so easily..." How long had you been at it? Surely half an hour, at least. A quick glance at your phone told you otherwise- three hours! Had you really been doing this every day? You quickly turned off the console, not even bothering to save. "Oh, wow...I'm so sorry. Uh, I'll heat up the food, and you can tell me about your project, and- I can't believe I forgot about the appointment! Was it okay? You don't have to hide it if you're upset or-"

"_____, slow down. You're starting to sound like me," Gaster interjected, shaking his head in silent amusement. "Please don't worry, the appointment was fine. We only did introductions today, so it was a very cordial visit." Noting your guilty expression, he walked over to sit on the floor beside you. "Dear, don't feel bad. I don't need your attention all the time, no matter how much I may demand it," he chuckled.

"Yeah, but- that was- it was a _huge_ dick move on my part. Don't be afraid to call me out when I'm doing something you don't like, okay?"

His hands twitched even while you took hold of one. "I-I'd really hate to be a bother..."

"Shush, you're not a bother. You always come first." A smirk found itself onto your face, and judging by his horrified expression he seemed to realize what you were going to say even before it left your mouth. "Except for when we-"

"_____!" He was once again bright purple, as expected. Huffing in exasperation, he took his hand back to cross his arms. "All _lewdness_ aside...I appreciate it. Truly, you...you make me feel important."

"Because you _are_ important," you replied, unable to resist booping his not-nose as you said it. "Now come back over here and tell me about your day. I'll listen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have done this to people once or twice...>_> It definitely is a dick move, but I think it's something lots of gamers are guilty of. Or maybe it's just me and I'm an asshole. Anywho, I'll try not to take so long on the next chapter.


	44. Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn a new language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another short, cheesy, dialogue packed chapter that kind of goes nowhere because ehhhh I don't know how to write lately.

You had begun to pick up on some of the gestures Gaster made when he got excited. It didn't take you very long to figure out there were consistent patterns. His hands weren't just twitching randomly, they were forming subtle signs. Eventually, you deduced that it might be the language he'd created, seeing as it didn't match up with any sort of sign language you knew of. You were also starting to piece together its written form by reading his notes on the project. Not enough to accurately decipher the symbols, but you had still gained a decent understanding of their meanings. Maybe it would be useful to know it all fully.

There was a lull in productivity this particular morning, since today was a tedious paperwork day, so you decided to bring the topic up. "Hey." Gaster looked up from the clipboard he'd been writing on, acknowledging you with a hum. "Could you teach me how to read Wingdings?"

He seemed pleasantly surprised by the question. "Oh, I didn't know you had any interest in it. But...it  _would_  make our collaborations a lot easier. Writing in the Latin alphabet is rather difficult for me, and, ah-" His smile became shy as he fidgeted his hands, and you could've sworn he was blushing faintly. "Well, I must admit...I've been wanting to teach it to you for a long time. I just wasn't sure how to ask. Come, sit down," he instructed, motioning to a swivel chair by the table. You couldn't help but spin around a few times after flopping into it. Pulling the top sheet off his clipboard to expose a fresh page, Gaster began scribbling. He soon handed you the finished chart of translated letters. The symbols were shockingly well-drawn, immaculate from what was likely many years of practice. The English portion, however, was barely legible in his chicken scratch handwriting. "Study this for now. Once you learn how to read and write those, I could teach you the hand signs as well."

"Does it have a spoken form?"

"Yes, but-" He shifted the clipboard in his hands, glancing away. "I don't think you could learn it. That's, er, not a cut to your intelligence. I'm sure you could come to understand the words, but they are very difficult to pronounce."

"Really? What does it sound like?"

"Ah...eerie? Or so I've been told."

"Aw come on, say something?"

"Alright, alright. Hm..." His eyes lit up, looking you up and down before he spoke again. The words were startlingly harsh, unintelligible, and...glitchy? It almost sounded digital, the way his voice rose and fell in peculiar pitches. There was absolutely no way you'd be able to replicate that.

"...huh. Yeah, I'd call that strange, for sure. Not so much eerie as it is cool, though. What did you say?

"That you look absolutely lovely in that outfit."

"Aw, you dork," you snorted, even though your heart was sent fluttering by the compliment. "But, uh, why would you make something so...?"

"Odd? Yes, well- I didn't make it, necessarily. I wasn't lying when I said it's my own language, but it seems I was born with the knowledge of it." You must have looked even more puzzled than you felt, as he tried to explain it further. "I suppose I did sort of create it since no one else knows how to speak, sign, or understand Wingdings without my teaching. Though truly, I have no idea where it came from," he sighed with a shrug. "It's normal for skeleton monsters to have a unique dialect, but not often an entirely different language."

You squinted. "You're...not a skeleton though...right?"

He blinked, chuckling at your confusion. "Oh, no, not completely. Only on my father's side," he explained.

"Really?" He'd never talked about his parents before. But if he brought it up himself, it must not have been a sensitive topic. You chanced another question. "What about your mother's side?"

He considered it for a moment, absently tapping a finger on the table in thought. "She wasn't a specific type of monster, but she looked sort of like a...a bat, I think? Yes, they're those flying mammals. She was similar to one of those, but larger. Though, ah, still rather small in relation to the rest of us."

You gasped, gushing, "That's so badass! Did she have wings?"

He was evidently surprised by your enthusiasm. "Er...yes. I didn't inherit them, obviously, but my brother did." Wait, since when did Gaster have a brother? You were about to ask more, but didn't want to interrupt him when he looked so happy. He smiled fondly as he reminisced. "I could never keep up with Webdings when he flew. He'd tease me for walking everywhere, as if I could do any differently." He giggled, grinning mischievously. "Well, once I perfected my teleportation skills, he was the one who needed to catch up. Ahehe, we had so much fun racing through Waterfall in the-" His dreamy expression suddenly broke off and dropped into a light scowl. "Hold on, you're just trying to distract me, aren't you? Go on, start studying," he chided.

Curious as you were about his family, the opportunity to pry had passed. "Is it so unbelievable that I might be legitimately interested in your life?" you asked dryly.

He faltered at that, blushing a bit. "N-no, but, ah-"

"And I can't help it that I'm so _distracting_."

He faced your suggestive smirk with exasperation, nudging the paper closer to you. "Get to it."

"No, I can't concentrate unless you kiss me first," you argued.

"At w-work?" Though there was no one in the doorway, he glanced at it as though someone was standing right there and had overheard you. "W-what if we get caught?"

"If we do, it'll be by Doctor Bitch, and I don't really care what he does. He already thinks I'm an idiot."

"He does? He'd better not have called you that," Gaster muttered, crossing his arms. "Perhaps I should go tell him that _I_ think he's an arse."

You had to take a moment to stare before cackling uncontrollably, utterly amazed. "Oh my god- you just- I think that's the first time I've ever heard you swear," you managed to choke out between giggles.

"Well he is!" Gaster was turning lavender in embarrassment, a violet hand quickly appearing to cover his mouth. "Oh g-goodness, I did curse."

"Yeah, but it's okay, it was cute. And you're right," you agreed. "By the way, you don't actually have to kiss me. I just wanted to see you all flustered."

"Oh, n-no. I most definitely do." He shakily tilted your head up and bent over to meet your mouth, giving your cheek an affectionate nuzzle before pulling away.

Well...maybe now you were the one who was flustered. Just a teensy bit. "S-so, uh...yeah. I think I can study now."

"Excellent. I look forward to seeing your progress." He patted your hair fondly before returning to his paperwork, leaving you even less able to concentrate on the task at hand.


	45. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You witness a miracle...and then things get a little awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More interactions with Mortimer was an idea suggested by the user Zestral. That was all I intended for this chapter, but then...stuff happened.

"Oh...now that wasn't fair."

"All's fair in love and war. And Mario Kart." Yeah, you'd just blue shelled him, bringing yourself up to first place while Gaster was knocked down to fourth. As of late, you'd finally gotten him to try out a few video games. He loved them, of course. He seemed to be most fond of ones with puzzles and immersive storylines, and thus spent many hours on both of the Portal games. Multiplayer things like Mario Kart came as a close second favorite since it was something you could do together. It came as no surprise that combative, action-packed games didn't fall within his interests at all. Unwilling to take violence against anyone, even in a fictional setting, the ten minutes he'd played Fallout 3 were spent attempting to make peace with the raiders. At least, until you convinced him it wasn't possible. He found that notion 'utterly ridiculous'.

Currently, you were showing no mercy in the tournament you two had going on. "I suppose this is what I get for winning the last race, isn't it?" he sighed.

"Nah, I would've done that whether you were beating me or not. Sorry, Cinny," you said with a shrug, patting his arm while still using your other hand to steer.

"Cinny?" he asked, his head tilting in confusion; though his eyes didn't move from the screen.

"It's faster than saying cinnamon roll. I dunno, I thought it was cute."

He mulled it over for a moment, his puzzled expression soon replaced by a sweet smile. "It _is_ rather cute. I like it."

"Ha!" You raised your arms in triumph as Yoshi crossed the finish line in first place. "I mean- oh no, I beat you. Sorry." You allowed yourself a brief moment to gloat before giving a real smile. "But seriously, that's great. It means I've finally found you a nickname that doesn't suck."

"Oh? I didn't think 'Gastly' was all that bad."

"Really? Because it sounds more like an insult than anything...although, I did name my Gastly in Pokemon after you."

"Ah...what's Pokemon?"

"Another video game. I'll show it to you sometime, I think you'll like it. Anyway, here- it's your turn to pick a track." You handed him the player one remote and sat back as he flipped through the options.

Meanwhile, a small, furry visitor poked his head around the doorway from the hall. Mortimer had decided that laying on the dirty clothes heap in your room was no longer acceptable, and wandered out in seek of the living room couch. To his disgust, the area was already occupied. He watched with disinterested eyes as the two of you began another race. On a normal day, this was the point where he would turn around, thoroughly disappointed, and find a place to sleep in the kitchen.

Shockingly, Morti instead chose to jump up on the couch, crawl under Gaster's arm, and settle comfortably in the startled scientist's lap. The cat even rubbed his face affectionately against his sweater, which was a pastel green today.

Gaster froze in the middle of a sharp turn, sending Princess Peach careening off the edge of Rainbow Road. He dropped his Wii wheel on the couch, stared at the cat incredulously, then looked to you in awe. "Oh my..._____! Look!" he beamed ecstatically.

You took a moment to pause the game before seeing what all the fuss was about. "Woah. Looks like he's finally accepted you! It only took him what, like...most of the year?" you snorted, rolling your eyes. "Maybe he'll let you touch him now."

Despite his obvious excitement, Gaster was keeping remarkably still save for his nervously fluttering hands. "What should I do? I don't want to scare him away, he's never done this before..." He stared at Morti's fuzzy head adoringly, his fingers clearly itching to pet the fluff. "Gosh, he's adorable!"

Hellion though he was, you couldn't deny that Morti did look pretty loveable. That being said, he didn't always _act_ so loveable. Gaster had tried on many occasions to befriend the cat, but each gentle, cautious attempt at a truce was met with hisses and claw swipes. Soon enough, the finicky beast had begun avoiding your boyfriend every time he visited your place. Sometimes he'd avoid you too, as if offended that you would repeatedly bring a stranger into 'his' territory. The fact that he was willingly trusting someone else, _and_ snuggling them, was incredible. Plus, it was also pretty great to see Gaster so giddy. You didn't want to ruin this for him, so you suggested, "Try scratching behind his ears? He usually likes that."

Slowly, as if he was about to pet a lion rather than a housecat, Gaster did as you said. The tip of Morti's tail gave a small twitch, yet he accepted the contact without complaint. Gaster bravely took a chance and stroked Morti's back as well. You held your breath, worried that he might get scratched, but exhaled in relief when there was no negative reaction. On the contrary, Morti was purring!

Gaster was absolutely enamoured. "He's so soft...and very cute! I'm not sure what I did to change your mind about me, but thank you. I hope we can be friends now." He had switched to addressing the cat directly. You were forced stifled a laugh, which didn't go unheard. "Oh, like you don't talk to him as well," Gaster huffed.

"Of course I do. He's my son, after all. My angry little shit of a son," you sighed. Was it unusual to treat your pet like your own offspring? Probably. That wouldn't stop you from doing it anyway. "I guess he's your son too now."

"...I-I, ah...I don't know how great of a father figure I'll make, but very well." Gaster chuckled, though the sound was a bit strained. He quickly changed the subject. "You know, I think you've won this tournament. I'll just watch you play so I don't disturb the little one."

"Don't wanna lose your new buddy, huh?" You laughed as he blushed and fidgeted in embarrassment. Still, you couldn't blame him for getting attached. Seeing as how Gaster adored cute, fuzzy things; being hated by Mortimer for so long had been torturous for him. You leaned back in your seat, perfectly content to race solo.

It was after about five minutes of this that Gaster spoke up again. "_____?"

"Hm?"

"How do you feel about children? Having them, I mean."

Now it was your turn to drop your controller. "Uhhhhh-"

He cut you off with a nervous ramble. "I-I know it's far too early to be, ah, c-considering such things, I was j-just wondering, you d-don't have to-"

"Wait, um...hold on a second." You took a moment to collect yourself, taking a deep breath. This was an important discussion to have, especially if he was thinking about the long term of your relationship. "Okay, well...I've never really thought about being a parent, to be honest. I'm not completely opposed to the idea, it's just...it's never been one of my life goals. I guess? Uh, I don't know." While that could've been a lot more eloquent, you felt it conveyed your thoughts well enough.

Gaster quietly stroked the sleeping cat, eyes downcast as he pondered your response. "I see. I apologize for the, er, abruptness of the question. My curiosity often gets the best of me," he admitted sheepishly.

"Oh, no, it's fine." A long silence followed.

"...what about marriage?"

It was like he was _trying_ to give you a heart attack. "S-sort of the same deal."

"Ah, okay." His hand had briefly stilled as he awaited your answer, and now went back to methodically rubbing Morti's back. You weren't sure whether to push the discussion further or let it drop.

For only the second time since you'd met, you felt uncomfortable in Gaster's presence. It wasn't his fault, exactly. It was just that getting married and having children was something experienced adults did, not people who were young and fresh out of college.

Then again, Gaster was a fair bit older than you. The age gap had never been a problem, but it was likely he felt differently on the subject. "What about you?"

His gaze rose from the floor. "Hm?"

"How do you feel about, uh...marriage? And kids and...stuff."

Seemingly reluctant to answer, he took a moment to think. "I don't want you to let this influence any... _choices_ you might make. Can you promise me that?"

Though confused, you agreed.

"Then I must admit...it's always been a dream of mine to find 'the one', if they exist. I, ah, know it sounds childish, but I've always been obsessed with the thought of falling in love, having a wedding, growing old together...and yes, perhaps starting a family. Like a storybook romance," he sighed wistfully, gazing dreamily into thin air. He blinked, quickly returning to earth. "B-but like I said, I don't want you to think I'm expecting anything. Because I'm not. Your company is more than enough."

"Oh," was the only response you could muster. You weren't exactly surprised; you'd had him pegged as a hopeless romantic from the start. You just hadn't known he was looking for such a strong commitment. From what you knew of monsters, they developed emotional bonds much faster than humans. Their ties to the the soul allowed close relationships to form with ease. Alphys and Undyne had been together only half a year before tying the knot. If Gaster was considering marriage, he must be _very_ interested in you. The prospect should have been scary, but in all honesty...

Who _wouldn't_ want someone like him as their husband?

Still. There was no reason to come to a decision right now. "That's not childish," you countered. "It's sweet. Do you, uh...do you think you've found your 'one'?"

There was no hesitation in his answer. "Most definitely."

You couldn't help but smile as his sincerity warmed your heart. "Well...I don't want to make any promises just yet, but I think I've found mine too."

"...truly? he breathed, barely concealed hope shimmering in his eyes.

You scooted closer, minding the cat so he wouldn't scamper away, and rested your head on Gaster's shoulder. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure."

Left speechless, he hugged you tightly to his side, pressing his face into your hair as he so often loved to do. His comforting warmth and the soft material of his sweater immediately relaxed you, and you slumped into the embrace with a contented sigh. He gently breathed in your scent, and you breathed in his, both your hearts pounding like mad in the quiet intimacy of the moment. At last, he kissed your forehead and murmured, "Take all the time you need to figure it out, love. I'll wait an eternity if I must. You're worth every second."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda based Morti off one of my own cats. She hates everyone except for my mom ^^'
> 
> And I'm sure no one is surprised that Gaster is in fact a huge cornball when it comes to romance.


	46. Social Woes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They'd do anything to make him happy, and this couldn't be too bad. Could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what we haven't seen for a while? Stressed reader :) Sorry in advance.
> 
> I'd also like to apologize for the lack of updates. I have no excuses >_> Just laziness. Pro tip though: if you ever get writer's block, try reading something. All it took for me to crank this out was powering through a few chapters of a good book, something I hadn't done in way too long. It does wonders.

"So they're really soft?"

"Y-yeah, I padded them with polyurethane foam and covered it in rubber."

"Isn't that the stuff they put in mattresses?"

Alphys nodded, looking slightly embarrassed. "I didn't have many m-materials to work with Underground. He seemed p-pretty happy with the results, though."

"Well, that's what's important." There was one Mettaton rumor confirmed: he _did_ have squishy legs. Lots of supposed 'secrets' about the star went flying around the internet, and you were one of the few people who could have them accurately denied or confirmed. Technically, you could get answers straight from the source since you had a way to contact him...but it would be hellishly awkward to pose those sorts of questions directly. "What about his hair?" you asked. "It always swishes so nicely, there's no way it's made of metal."

"Yeah, it's real. I'm actually proud of how it turned out," Alphys beamed. "I found a wig at the dump, and the tag said it w-was genuine human hair. Kinda gross, I guess, but it looks so pretty...and it feels nice too. The first t-time he tried out his EX form, he spent hours b-brushing and playing with it."

You couldn't help but squee at that mental image. "That's adorable!"

Gaster, sitting cross-legged next to Sans on the plush carpet, was trying his best not to look disgruntled by your choice of conversation. Only a subtle twitch at the undamaged corner of his mouth let you know he might be a tad jealous once again. He still didn't seem to understand the triviality of a celebrity crush. Regardless, you felt a small stab of guilt. All it normally took was one mention of Mettaton to put a damper on the scientist's mood, and here you were fawning over the robot. You cautiously changed the subject. "Anyway, how's work been?" Alphys barely had a moment to open her mouth before she was interrupted by a commotion from the hallway.

"Hey punks!" Everyone in the living room turned their attention to Undyne as she burst through the doorway. She vaulted the couch where Papyrus and Toriel were sitting, landing triumphantly on the floor before them. "I hope you guys are ready for the best fu-" Seeing Toriel's glare, she paused, immediately rephrasing, "-freaking party of your lives!"

"P-party? What are you talking about...?"

Undyne lifted her wife and stowed her under one arm, something which must happen often since Alphys didn't react at all, and used her free hand to show the lizard her phone. "Squiggles just texted me about it! He's celebrating his promotion next Friday, and everyone's invited."

"Squiggles...?"

Noticing your confusion, Alphys quickly explained, "One of my coworkers. That's n-not his real name, but everyone calls him that because he-"

"uh, i don't mean to burst your bubble," Sans interjected. "but are you sure he isn't gonna mind a bunch of strangers showing up?"

"'Course not," Undyne scoffed. "He said _everyone_ , and I'm not missing out on something this huge. You in, Alph?"

"Uh...I-I don't know..." She considered it for a moment, her uncertainly soon fading away. "Well, since it's for Squiggles...okay."

"Sweet! Paps?"

The aforementioned skeleton jumped up from the couch, eagerly accepting the invitation. "ABSOLUTELY! SO LONG AS MY BROTHER ACCOMPANIES ME?"

"eh, sure. tori?"

The goat shook her head. "I apologize, but I must stay home and take care of Frisk."

"Understandable," Undyne admitted, shrugging. "Can't leave the squirt all on their own. _____?" Now that the spotlight was turned on you, your voice grew unsteady.

"Uh...that s-sounds-" Daunting? Tiring? Like a disaster waiting to happen? "-neat, but parties aren't really my thing. You guys go, I'll hang out with Toriel. If that's cool?" The woman in question smiled warmly in agreement.

"Aw, come on! I didn't think you were _that_ lame!" Undyne growled.

"Gee, thanks," you huffed, rolling your eyes. "Seriously though, you guys'll have plenty of fun without me."

Movement in the edge of your vision caught your attention. You turned to see Gaster shifting in place, reluctant to speak though something was clearly on his mind. Upon noticing your gazed on him he stilled, but when you raised an eyebrow in question he timidly admitted, "Ah, to be truthful...I was sort of hoping we could go...together. B-but if you don't want to, that's fine!"

That definitely caught you off guard. "Oh, uh..." The others were busy chattering about their plans for the event, so you stood and gently pulled Gaster to the other side of the room to talk. He followed willingly, if a little confused. Once you had some modicum of privacy, you spilled the first thing that had come to mind. "So, I didn't know you liked parties...?"

"Oh...well of course!" he gushed. "I love meeting new people. There will be music, and our friends will be there, and we can make even _more_ friends, and- ah-" His hands figdeted as he consciously slowed his excited ramble. "Well, I just think it sounds like a lovely time," he said, smiling wistfully.

You shifted uncomfortably, unable to keep from squirming. His hopeful expression was making you feel incredibly guilty. He was giving you puppy dog eyes, looking heart rendingly adorable, just absolutely _precious_ as he silently pleaded- and _damn it_ , that had to be cheating. It was almost impossible to refuse him.

Almost.

You didn't even have to say it aloud; the anxiety on your face was enough of an answer. His excitement crumbled, and he quickly shifted his stare down at the floor to hide it. "Oh goodness, I'm sorry. I don't want to force you. Please, do not do something you don't like just for my sake." Despite his sincere tone, you were certain you'd let him down. The aura of dejection was only bearable for a few seconds before it broke you.

"Wait, uh- I'll go."

That response was clearly not what he'd expected. His eyebrows drew together in concern as he asked, "Oh...are you certain?"

Holding back an honest answer, you grinned instead. "Yeah. I just can't say no to you."

His radiant smile slowly returned, growing larger by the second. He giggled, lifting you up in a tight hug. "Well, I'd hate to take advantage of that-" You interrupted with a playful scoff, to which he responded by tightening the embrace. "-but thank you, dearest. I can't wait!"

Sans must have happened to look over right then since he huffed in irritation, grumbled something unintelligible, stood from the carpet and headed down the hallway towards his room. You couldn't blame him; other couples' PDA normally icked you out as well. It wasn't exactly a habit of yours to disgust your friends with mushiness, either. But if you didn't react, Gaster might know you were unhappy with your decision, and then he'd feel bad- and that wasn't worth your pride. You sighed, hugging him back. "Anything for you, Cinny."

"Hey! You two going or what?"

Gaster was the one to answer Undyne's call. His voice was slightly muffled since he was still pressed against your hair, seemingly unwilling to move. "Yes! My sweet _____ is coming with me, and we're going to have so much fun together!" he sighed blissfully. You had to suppress a groan; he could be such a cornball sometimes.

"Ugh, I'm gonna leave before I barf." Undyne quickly vacated the room, an amused Alphys following behind her.

"You're one to talk, 'Mew Mew Fishy Cutie'!" you called after her. Undyne let out an inarticulate screech of rage, stopped from retorting only by her wife's insistent tugging on her arm. Papyrus had gone with Sans, and Toriel seemed to have left to check on Frisk, who had been put to bed hours ago. Now only you and your currently very clingy boyfriend were left in the living room. "So you're just gonna stay like that for now?" you asked him.

"Yes. You're very soft." He quietly breathed in the scent of your hair, sighing, "It smells like peaches this time. You're so lovely."

No argument there, no matter how flustered his excessive affection was making you feel. He must be even more excited than you thought. "Heh. You're pretty hyped for this party, aren't you?"

He finally lifted his head and pulled back to look at you. "Thrilled!" The elated smile faltered. "Are you really sure you want to go? You don't have to if you'll only be uncomfortable..."

You definitely were _not_ sure. Flashback-like memories of school dances, disastrous birthday parties, and the social gauntlet that had been senior prom darted through your mind- until you firmly pushed them aside. That had been years ago, all during the most awkward years of your life. You were an adult now, and adults didn't get worked up over something so ridiculous. It was just a stupid party. How hard could it be? Besides, maybe it was time to take a chance and try enjoying yourself. If not for that, you'd at least do it to make a certain dork happy. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm sure there'll be free food, so it can't be that awful."

Though he bapped you on the head in feigned disapproval, excitement shone bright in Gaster's eyes. You only wished you could feel the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's that party gonna go? Even I don't know, I haven't decided yet.
> 
> Edit: I fucked up and accidentally posted a draft chapter, sorry for the false update :S


	47. Hiccups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One person has a rather Bad Time, but the other seems to be having an exceptionally good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, this took way too long to update ;_; I've been on a trip with my friends. Any of y'all ever been to Knoebels Grove? Probably not but it's pretty rad, we stayed there for a while. It gave me an idea involving Gaster and amusement parks. I don't think I could write a whole chapter on it so just imagine this: reader convinces G to go on a giant roller coaster with them, he's terrified yet agrees to try it since they claim it's safe, while waiting in line he's on the verge of panicking, for some reason he's determined to ride it anyway, and when they finally get on...he loves it, and ends up dragging the reader to every other coaster in the park ;u;
> 
> Anyways, here's the chapter where our favorite nerd gets turnt.

When Undyne had said 'everyone' was invited...she really did mean _everyone_. You didn't even recognize the majority of the guests, their numbers comprised of humans and monsters alike. The party was being held at Squiggles' house. His place was massive enough to contain the entire event, which didn't come as much of a surprise. When monsters had first come to the surface, they'd traded in all their gold- the Underground's main form of currency. The exchange rate at the time had been high, so many of them were able to afford whatever sorts of living spaces they wanted. There was still the issue of realtors being reluctant to sell to monsters...but that problem was quickly solved by copious amounts of money, something no business man or woman could refuse.

Within minutes of arriving, you discovered the reason for your host's nickname: he was some sort of worm-like monster, and would reflexively squirm like a maniac when startled. Finding this hilarious, many of his friends and coworkers attempted to scare him as much as possible. Though you briefly felt bad for him, it _was_ pretty funny, and Squiggles took it all in good humor.

Now that you were here, you weren't exactly sure what to do. Your friends had dispersed not long ago. Papyrus wandered off to talk to strangers, Sans followed to keep him out of trouble, Alphys was searching for her colleagues with Undyne in tow- only one person remained staunchly by your side.

A few days prior, you'd taken Gaster on another shopping trip. On this occasion, it was to buy something different than his usual sweaters and slacks. You somehow convinced him to wear jeans, a casual blazer, and to even forgo his gloves for the party. The finished look was amazing, of course. Though he was initially uncertain about the change, your frequent compliments soon had him simultaneously flustered and much more confident.

Currently, his hand- the hole in its palm exposed and visible- rested comfortably on your shoulder. You noticed him twitching his other one as he scanned the crowd. Much like Papyrus, it was impossible for Gaster to stand still in a room of potential friends. The only difference was that instead of boldly approaching anyone in sight, he was terribly nervous to even say hello. Regardless, he'd come to meet new people, and that was exactly what you wanted him to do.

Unfortunately...that would require him to either leave your company and force you to cope alone, or to awkwardly drag you along into social situations. You preferred the former, for both Gaster's benefit and your own. "Go on, do your thing," you urged him, motioning towards a group of people nearby. "Those guys look like sciencey types, so they probably work with Alphys. You could try talking to them about the project or...I dunno, other nerd stuff."

Gaster peered at you uncertainly, apparently overlooking your attempt at humor. He gently grasped both your shoulders and turned you to face him. "Are you sure? You could come with me, if you'd like."

"Nah, I'd just mess it up for you somehow." Though he frowned, you cut him off before he had a chance to argue. "And I _did_ want to try some of that punch at the snack table. Should I bring you some?"

"If you're certain...and, ah, no thank you. I'm sure it's spiked, and I'd like to remain as sober as possible tonight. Come find me soon, love. Perhaps I'll have some new friends to introduce you to!" He gradually released his grip on your arms, only to throw his own around you and nuzzle your hair. "If you start to feel uncomfortable, please come let me know. Stay safe!" he said, disregarding the few human stares his open affection drew.

You rolled your eyes, yet made no real effort to escape his hold. "Chill out, you doof, I'll be fine. Now shoo. And have fun!"

You lingered to watch him bound eagerly towards the group of strangers, hesitating a few feet away when they looked at him curiously. He started to toy with his hands, trying fruitlessly to conceal them, then said something you couldn't hear over the music. The others smiled and beckoned him over. Gaster's palpable joy was infectious; you found yourself grinning as you watched him happily join their conversation. Knowing he'd be alright for now, you headed for the punch bowl.

After taking a sip, you came to a solid conclusion: this _was_ spiked, and it was strong. It was presumably non-magical alcohol since the stuff monsters made barely affected humans at all. However, one shot of human liquor would make any magical being tipsy. You could see the truth of that right before you. Most monsters in your immediate vicinity were already stumbling and blinking blearily at their surroundings. You could barely suppress a snort as a blue rabbit in a yellow shirt threw his arms up in the air, cheering, and spilled punch all over himself and the orange cat beside him. Deciding to take a stab at socialization yourself, you grabbed some paper towels from the table and approached the two; the one giggling and drunk, the other unfortunately sober and having none of it.

Once close enough, you offered the towels. "Here. Uh...I think your friend is about to do that again." The cat quickly stopped the bunny from repeating the action, thus preventing another shower of punch. He ripped the towels from your hand and began wiping at his face, grumbling irritably.

"Aw, don't mind him! He's just grumpy," the rabbit said, throwing an arm around the cat's shoulders. "Hey! Knock it off!" he whined. The cat had begun sopping punch from his friend's face as well.

"Hold still, idiot," the cat mumbled. "God damn it, every time..." Once finished, he turned his attention back to you. "Thanks, buddy. Saved me the trip myself. The name's Burgerpants, and this moron is-"

"I'm the Nice Cream man! I sell the Nice Creams!" the rabbit interjected in a sing-songy voice, once again lifting his arms and drenching himself in the remainder of his drink.

Burgerpants made no effort to clean him up this time. "...yeah. He's not normally this annoying, I swear. So. You?"

Unsure of what to do next, you sort of just...stood there. Burgerpants did the same, slowly raising an eyebrow at your prolonged silence. The solution rapidly occurred to you. "Oh, shit, I mean- I'm, uh, ____. S-sorry, I don't, uh...do this...often." Great. Only four sentences in and you were already being a weirdo. Another awkward silence followed.

"I feel you, buddy," Burgerpants said suddenly. "Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing here."

You exhaled deeply in relief. Maybe this would turn out alright. "Same. I'm only here for my boyfriend."

"Tell me about it," Burgerpants muttered. "Which one is he?"

You turned around and pointed through the doorway to the foyer. Gaster was easy to pick out from the mass of people. "The tall one," was all that needed to be said.

"Oh. I've seen that guy before. He goes to the library every Tuesday, right?"

You blinked in surprise. "Yeah. You go there too?"

"Nah." His easygoing smirk began to falter into a scowl. "I work at the hellhole across the street. I've just seen him on my smoke breaks."

"You work for Mettaton?" The place across from the library was one of the star's many fast food establishments. You'd gone there once or twice, and while the burgers weren't _terrible_...well, you felt Mettaton's strengths resided more in music than in the food industry.

"Yeah," Burgerpants sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Look, I don't care what people say about his movies or whatever- he's an awful boss. I never even wanted to do customer service, and of course I got stuck with the WORST job- but. Hey. I'm not here to complain. Wanna get drunk so this party sucks less?"

...yup, you could definitely get along with this guy. "Sure. I'll go get us more punch. Uh, what about him?" You pointed to the Nice Cream man, who was swaying in place and softly singing a little jingle about Nice Cream.

"He's had enough. Snap out of it, Nicey." Burgerpants waved a hand before the rabbit's dopily grinning face. Snickering, you got the requested drinks.

Hanging with your new acquaintances was fantastic. Even when plastered, Nicey was a major sweetheart. Burgerpants, on the other hand, was often crude and sometimes outright gross with his jokes- which you found hilarious, of course.

While drinking, you tried not to get past the point of pleasantly buzzed. Anything more was sure to make you act stupid or, worse, get sick. Throwing up was definitely not in your schedule for the night. Burgerpants held his liquor fairly well, but was soon slurring and stumbling just as much as his companion. To your disappointment, he decided that was a good point at which to leave. You swapped phone numbers with the intention of hanging out again and said your goodbyes. Now it was back to square one. This time, you chose to fade into the background and relax, wandering around and watching the other partygoers. Maybe you'd find Gaster along the way.

He turned up sooner than you'd expected. Within minutes, you saw him walking in from the kitchen, a red solo cup in hand. So much for his plan to stay sober. He noticed you and waved, smiling radiantly. "Dearest, come here! I want you to meet my new friends. They're so nice!"

Chuckling, you weaved through the people towards him. He put an arm around your waist the moment you were within reaching distance. "I missed you," he said, pretending to pout. "Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah. I even made a couple friends of my own. They had to go home, though."

"That's great!" he beamed. "Not the, ah, going home part. The other thing." He seemed confused for a moment, and shook his head as if to clear it.

"How much did you drink?" you asked in amusement.

"Er..." Gaster, choosing not to answer, abruptly changed the subject. "Not important. Let's go, I want you to meet my new friends! They're very nice!"

"You already said that."

He blinked, then blushed a light purple, embarrassed. "Ah...right. Well, let's be off then!" He led you by the hand into the other room. It was where the stereo system resided, and thus was a fair bit louder than the room you'd been in before. Gaster had to raise his voice to be heard over the music. He pointed to one of the strangers from the group he'd been talking to. "This is Marty. His name almost sounds like your cat's!" he explained with a giggle. Pointing to another, he introduced the rest. "And this is Olivia, Saria, Greg, and Teuth!" The last to be named was the only monster out of the five new faces. They raised a tentacle in greeting. "You were right, they _do_ work with Alphys," Gaster continued. "I've been telling them all about our work. Well, the parts we're allowed to share," he added sheepishly. "They've been telling me about their own projects as well."

What followed was at least thirty minutes of polite nodding and well-timed smiles as you patiently listened to the others. Not like they weren't interesting, but you were already beginning to feel drained by all this interaction. Gaster, on the other hand, seemed enlivened. He was practically sizzling with energy as Marty droned on about mathematics far beyond your comprehension. Finding your cup to be empty, you formed an excuse to escape for a few minutes. "I'm gonna go get a refill. Be right back."

"Ooh! Could you bring me one as well?"

"Sure thing, Cinny. But don't blame me for your headache tomorrow."

Gaster waved a hand flippantly, shaking his head. "Pfft, I don't get hungover. Though, ah...I don't think I've ever drunk this much before."

"Just don't overdo it, okay?" You'd hate to see him feeling ill the next morning...even if it was his own stupid fault.

Regardless, you knew you'd end up coddling him with medicine and blankets. But you weren't going to tell him that.

He nodded in agreement, and so you slipped through the crowd back to the kitchen. It was much emptier there, as the majority of the guests had migrated to the main room. After refilling the two cups, you let yourself relax against the wall. It wouldn't hurt to take a little break, right?

Wrong. At that moment , Squiggles happened to walk by. And in the moment right after, someone spooked him by jumping around a corner and shouting. Squiggles thrashed, his tail struck your arm, and one of the drinks you held splashed all over a passerby's shirt. Of course it was a white shirt. Of course the punch was dark red.

You gaped in horror, unable to meet their eyes. "Oh g-god, I'm s-so sorry," you hastily apologized. Hopefully, they wouldn't be angry.

By some miracle, they only laughed. "Hey, don't sweat it. It's just a shirt." The mellow, friendly voice made you raise your eyes to their face. 'They' were a he, a human man you'd never seen before. His smile was gentle and sincere as he extended a hand. "I'm surprised I haven't talked to you yet. I'm Benji."

At least he didn't care about the accident. You hesitantly took the offered hand and shook it. "_____. Uh...sorry again. Thanks for being cool about it."

"No worries. _____." He rolled your name around on his tongue, at last nodding in approval. "That's a cute name."

"Uh...thanks?" No need to feel weirded out by that, he was only being nice.

"So, are you here with anyone?" Okay, maybe not.

"Yeah. My boyfriend." That didn't sound too rude, did it? You figured it was better to be straightforward so he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

"That monster fellow you were walking with?" It may have been your imagination, but he seemed to utter the word 'monster' like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

Your suspicions growing, you nodded.

"Well, that's a shame. But...I don't see him anywhere."

"He's...in the other room..."

Benji's smile grew wider. Maybe this was also in your head, but his grin was becoming less welcoming and more sinister. "Well what he doesn't see won't hurt him, will it sweetheart?"

Red flag, _red flag_ , time to leave. "P-please don't call me that..."

Had he gotten closer? You felt trapped with your back against the wall and his arm resting beside you- when the hell did it get there?! Your personal space was becoming smaller and smaller. You began to feel nauseous. The feeling was heightened when he murmured, "Why not, sugar? I think I can call you whatever I please."

"Just...j-just back off! I'd like to be alone now."

"Hm. No. I think you need a little company..." His other arm was sneaking towards you. Before his hand could clamp down on your wrist, you slapped it away. To put it simply, Benji did not look happy. You weren't just nervous now, you were legitimately scared. He couldn't do anything in plain sight...could he? But no one was really paying attention...

In no time at all, you had dropped the other solo cup and dashed away from the wall, far away from that _freak_. You didn't risk looking back as you hurried for the foyer. The crowd was thicker there, so you'd be able to hide safely.

Your head was spinning, and what little alcohol you'd drunk threatened to push back up your throat. "Just breathe," you advised yourself, unaware that you'd spoken the thought aloud. Fortunately, no one heard you over the booming music and constant chattering. Though you tried to still your racing pulse, nothing seemed to be working. You rushed towards the exit to get some air. People stepped out of your way as you pushed through the crowd, only briefly curious as to why you were in such a hurry before returning to their conversations.

The cool night air outside was a major relief. You no longer felt suffocated, nobody's eyes were on you but the stars', and the sickness from before begin to fade.

...oh wait, there it was again. You promptly heaved into some nearby bushes, bracing an arm against the side of the house as you did so. Though your throat stung, at least the nausea was gone. You strolled over to a gnarled tree in the yard and leaned back against its trunk, sinking down to sit in the grass below. If anyone came out of the house, they shouldn't be able to see you in the large shadow cast by its branches, giving you some time alone to recuperate.

You should've known something like this would happen. It always did. Social events just didn't suit you very well at all. Though to be fair, what occurred tonight wasn't entirely your fault. If that 'Benji' creep had just left you alone like you'd asked him to...

"____?" Your head, previously hanging low while you rested, lifted wearily. Someone was calling your name. They sounded almost scared. It didn't take you long to recognize the pale, lanky figure wandering near your tree, frantically searching the yard.

"Over here," you called, your voice rough from getting sick. Gaster rapidly turned around and squinted into the darkness, unable to discern your form until you waved.

"Oh, there y'are! I was so worried!" He sounded much more inebriated, his words occasionally slurring together. Someone else must have brought him more alcohol. He came to your side, stumbling as he knelt on the ground next to you. A hand tentatively reached out to rest on your hair as he asked, "Are y'alright, love? Alphys saw you leave, she said y'looked upset..." He frowned, confusion and concern spread plain across his face. Your heart sank yet further. He'd been having such a great time, and here you were ruining it by panicking over something so-!

So...

...what in the world was Gaster doing?

Sensing your tension, he had bonked his head against your shoulder and was nuzzling it, much like a cat. The bizarre attempt at affection forced a giggle out of you. "You're pretty silly when you're drunk," you remarked.

"'M always silly, according to you," he mumbled. He looked up at you, frowning. "Please dearest, tell me what's *hic* wr-wrong? Oh bugger, now I've got hiccups..." he muttered, making you laugh even harder.

"I'm fine," you insisted. "I did have a, uh... _moment_ back there...but I think I'm okay now. It's hard not to be happy when you're here."

"Y'sure?"

"Yes." You patted his head comfortingly, stifling a chuckle as he hiccuped again. "There was just this creeper who kept getting in my personal space, and then I started feeling claustrophobic-"

"W- *hic* wait." Gaster lifted his head to peer at you, brows furrowed. "Was someone making *hic* advances?"

"Uh...he was just being an asshole, but I got away before anything serious happened."

"Who was it?" Gaster demanded, trying to stand up and failing as he tripped over his own long limbs. "He'll get a very stern talking to! I won't...*hic* won't allow some _hooligan_ to touch what is _mine_ -" Seeing your shocked expression, he froze in his attempts to get back on his feet. "Ah. I m-mean. I'm n-not saying I  _own_ y-you or anything- that, ah, *hic* that came out wrong-" He tried to scoot away, his face flushing from more than the alcohol.

Before he could get too far, you grasped his arm to pull him back towards you. Being drunk clearly brought out his jealous side even more strongly than usual. Truthfully, you didn't mind it this time. "Hey, where are you going? I _am_ yours, doofus."

"O-oh." He stared at his fidgeting hands for a few moments before peering at you sheepishly. "Really?"

Rolling your eyes, you sighed, "No, of course not, we've only been dating for _11 freaking months_." His puzzled stare told you he wasn't quite lucid enough to pick up on your sarcasm. "Yes. I am, and you can say it all you want. Okay?"

After a pause, he edged closer. He picked up your hand, gently squeezing as he stammered, "Ah...y-you're m-mine?"

"Wow. Real convincing," you snorted.

"You're mine," he said more firmly, though without the possessiveness from before. He raised your hand to his cheek and sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm yours too, y'know."

"Yeah. I know." You both sat there in silence, the only sounds being muffled voices from inside the house and serenading crickets. Only when you realized Gaster was almost falling asleep sitting up did you speak again. "Do you want to go back inside? You're gonna miss the rest of the party."

He cracked open his good eye and gave a noise of vague refusal. "Tired," was all he mumbled.

"You don't want to say goodbye to your friends?"

"See them later. Phone numbers."

"Time to go home then?"

"Mhm."

"Did you have a good time?"

A weary smile crossed his face, and he nodded as eagerly as he could. "Yes!"

You chuckled, pulling him to his feet. It wasn't as hard as you'd anticipated to lead him to your car and guide him into the passenger seat. He'd always been much lighter than his height would suggest. You figured magic must not weigh much. After you slid into the driver's side, he once again took hold of your free hand. He wouldn't let go the whole ride home, even after drifting off with his head resting against the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'I will not ship Nicepants' I told myself at some point. WELP look where that's gone.
> 
> One more thing. Remember the suit chapter? Well someone drew suit G and he looks so good, go check it out!
> 
> http://mxmousey.deviantart.com/art/Is-it-okay-617330727
> 
> I was going to post the link in the chapter it's actually relevant to, but then I realized no one might see it so...yea, it's going here instead. Thanks again to the artist for such lovely and cute artwork!


	48. Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gaster regrets his poor life choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is completely unnecessary, but I wanted to write a dumb follow up from the last one. Here, enjoy Gast being a pain in the butt.

Getting Gaster home after the party had been easy. He'd slept throughout the whole drive, only waking when you gently shook his shoulder to get him out of the car. Getting him down the street to your apartment complex was...much harder.

The parking lot set aside for tenants' use was a few blocks away from the actual building. You'd never minded it before, but tonight the distance was proving to be a huge inconvenience.

Gaster wasn't a mindless drunk. He could walk just fine without your support, and remained coherent enough to follow instructions. Less fortunately, he became distracted at the drop of a hat. He had a tendency to forget where he was going and instead investigate whatever caught his interest. As both a scientist and someone who was just naturally curious, this happened often.

His gaze was first drawn by the night sky. Light pollution from the city blocked out most of the stars, so only the brightest ones and the crescent moon were visible. You couldn't begrudge Gaster for wanting to look. It was still a fairly new sight for a monster, after all. You gave him a few minutes to stare in awe before recapturing his attention and continuing down the street.

The next distraction was not so grand: an old, rusted pay phone that the the local developers had never bothered to remove. Gaster poked at it curiously, lifting and replacing the phone on its cradle, pressing random buttons, and trying to figure out the puzzling device while you stood idly by. Though it was amusing at first, your patience began to wear thin as the minutes dragged on. "It's not going to work," you told him. "I'm sure it was disconnected years ago." He either didn't hear your words or ignored them. With a sigh, you took the enthralled scientist by the arm and pulled him away. He complied, but not without gazing back at the phone longingly.

Not even five minutes later, a stray dog darted across the street and into an alleyway. Gaster would've given chase if you hadn't quickly taken hold of his hand to keep him on the sidewalk. He stared at the spot where it had disappeared into the darkness, brows furrowed. "What if it's lost?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm sure it's just a stray. There are tons of them around here."

That only deepened his frown. "A homeless puppy? That's awful..." A coy grin crossed his face. "D'you think we could-"

"Oh no you don't. I do _not_ need another pet," you interjected staunchly.

" _I_ don't have one," he pouted.

"Our landlord doesn't even allow dogs," you sighed. Endearing as this would normally be, it was exasperating. You were already tired from the night's events. Throw in Gaster's insatiable curiosity, as well as his inability to teleport you home while inebriated, and you ended up feeling a little grouchy. "Maybe I'll get you a cat of your own. If you actually _behave_ , that is," you warned sternly. "Try not to wander off this time?"

"You're mean," he grumbled.

"And you're drunk."

"...tha's irrelevant." You shot him a glare. Gaster looked away and crossed his arms. "...a'right. I'll be good."

Thankfully, he stayed true to his word. At long last, you reached your destination. Gaster followed complacently until you got to his door. He fumbled in his pocket for the key, procuring it with a triumphant hum. You walked in after him as he plodded inside and flopped face down on his couch.

"Nope, get up," you insisted, tugging his arm. "You need to sleep in an actual bed."

A whine was his only reply. But after a brief hesitation, he obediently stood and trudged towards the bedroom. By the time you did the same, he had already removed his blazer and was in the process of pulling off his shirt. He didn't seem to notice or care that he was standing right in front of you half naked. To your chagrin, your face flushed fire red. You'd seen him in much less clothing on how many occasions now? Definitely enough that this shouldn't make you blush.

Oblivious, Gaster kicked off his shoes and flopped onto the bed the same way he'd done on the couch. You struggled to tug the blanket out from under his limp body. Having succeeded, you tucked him in snugly and propped a pillow beneath his head. Yeah, he'd been acting up ever since leaving the party...but he was still your cinnamon roll. After pressing a kiss to his forehead, you flipped off the bedside lamp, turned on the hall light so the room wouldn't be in total darkness, and began to head for the door.

You could barely pick up on Gaster's mumble. "Where y'goin'?"

You froze midstep. "To my place? I need to sleep too, you know."

"Could y'stay?" he begged feebly, a summoned hand gently tugging you back towards the bed. "Sleep here."

"Gast..."

"Please?" You could just barely make out his face in the dim light. He looked so forlorn at the prospect of you leaving...something in you twinged.

You heaved a sigh, yet allowed yourself to be pulled by the insistent hand. It didn't really matter where you stayed for the night, right? You'd planned on checking up on him tomorrow morning anyway. This would just save you the short trip from your apartment. You stripped off your shoes and jeans before slipping under the covers.

The very moment you settled in, you were roughly grabbed and hugged to a warm, bony chest. Gaster, already closing his eyes, seemed completely unaware of how strong his hold was, nor how hard his fingers were digging into your ribs. You winced at the unexpected sting. "Hey, ease up. That kinda hurts."

He inhaled sharply, his good eye flicking open in surprise. "Sorry," he murmured. His arms loosened, though they still didn't leave you much wiggle room. It was no longer painful, nor was it necessarily uncomfortable. Just a little tight.

"Is there a reason you're being so clingy?" you asked bemusedly.

"Helps me sleep."

"I don't think you need help to fall alseep right now."

He was silent for a while, and at first you'd thought your statement was even truer than you thought. But then came a soft, shockingly serious sounding whisper, "I don't want to be alone."

Upon hearing that, all remaining traces of your irritation from earlier vanished. His seemingly random moment of sobriety silenced the teasing retort you had prepared. 

One of your arms was pinned beneath him where he'd rolled onto it. You wrapped your free one around his back to return his tight embrace. Your hand rested on those strange scars between his shoulder blades; your fingers traced their patterns. He still hadn't told you how he'd gotten these. Though to be fair, you'd never asked. In the same gentle tone, you replied, "Don't worry, I'll stay."

He sighed deeply, and a low, rumbling hum reverberated through his chest. It almost sounded like a purr. At times like this, it often occurred to you that Gaster was basically a giant kitten. A hairless, nose and earless, eight foot tall kitten with weaponized dragon skulls and a voice that rolled like thunder when it was raised. That would make for one terrifying kitten.

And yet you still found him just as adorable as the small, fuzzy, harmless variety.

Being this close, you could faintly hear his heartbeat as it mellowed into a softer, slower rhythm. Unsurprisingly, he was out like a light within minutes. You took the opportunity to squirm into more comfortable position- though you were still being squeezed like a living teddy bear.

You'd noticed back at the party that he'd put on some of his cologne for the event. As you lay there, you picked up on the lingering scent. It smelled so nice, and familiar, and relaxing...and it didn't take long before you'd fallen under as well.

Though the last to fall asleep, you were the first to wake.

Gaster had released you at some point during the night. He was now sprawled on his back with an arm thrown over his eyes. His cheeks were flushed, though instead of their usual lavender they were adorned with a mottled fuchsia. You gently prodded his side. His fingers gave a slight twitch; there was no other response. You shook him by the shoulder to rouse him, instinctively flinching when he moved. Ever since the 'Chara incident'...you were a bit jumpy when waking him up. Not like you expected it to happen again- he said his sessions were going extraordinarily well- but a little caution never hurt. His arm slid away, revealing dark circles of the same magenta beneath his eyes. His entire face flushed the sickly color as he blinked away sleep.

"Nnnng...what did you let me _do_ last night...?" he groaned.

" _I_ didn't do a thing. You're the party animal here."

He squinted at you suspiciously. "Party animal...? Er...I didn't do anything...foolish, did I? All I remember is talking to people and...and a dog?" He blinked in confusion, rubbing his likely pounding head.

"Nah, but you should know you're a huge doofus when you're drunk. A cute one, but still a doofus!" You practically sprung from the bed, enviously hangover free.

Gaster groaned and shoved a pillow over his face. "Oh god, please don't shout. Is...is it supposed to feel like this? My head is killing me..."

Aw, now you felt bad. Remember that prediction you made at the party? About coddling him? It was rapidly coming true. You retrieved the blanket, which had somehow become crumpled at the end of the bed during the night, and draped it over him. "You just stay here and relax. I'll go get something to make you feel better, okay?" You drummed your fingers on your thigh, unsure of what to use. Something weak that wouldn't make him loopy, but would also be effective. "Hmm...well I know you've got a headache...are you feeling nauseous too?"

With his head still under the pillow, Gaster's response came as a muffled grunt. That certainly sounded like a yes. You couldn't stifle a laugh; he only had himself to blame. You went off in search of his medicine cabinet. As you pawed through the boxes and bottles for some alka seltzer, you had a distinct feeling that he wouldn't be drinking again anytime soon.


	49. NC - Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not just *his* heart you're breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another not-fluffy chapter. If you're here for just the happy parts, I'd skip this one.

After weeks of consideration, you made one of the most difficult decisions you'd ever had to face. The very thought of what you planned to do made your whole body burn with guilt.

But it had to be done. Letting things continue as they were now would only make both of you miserable.

It was a Sunday night, and your adoring boyfriend had invited you over to his place for tea. Every step on the short trek to his apartment felt like trudging through quicksand. You knocked; he opened the door within seconds. The radiant joy on his face nearly shattered your resolve. He hugged you right off the carpeted floor, chirping a cheery hello as he swept you inside the apartment. Setting you gently back on your feet, he closed the door and bounded to the other room. "I'll be right back! The tea should be finished steeping by now," he called, already in the kitchen.

Though it wasn't unusual for him to be this excited to spend time with you, there was a reason for it tonight. It had been almost an entire year since you first began dating. Gaster was ecstatic about your 'anniversary', and was planning 'something amazing' for the exact day. That's why you had to get this over with as soon as possible. He'd already gotten his hopes up, but at least he wouldn't have to waste time on the celebration.

He soon returned with two steaming mugs of tea, presumably chamomile by the scent, and set them on the coffee table. He took your hand, ready to pull you to the loveseat. "Come sit with me, dear. I've missed you."

Loathe as you were to admit it, you'd been avoiding him since Friday, repeatedly making up excuses when he asked to hang out. Gaster had accepted them all without even a hint of suspicion. Oh god, how were you going to say this?

"Are you alright, love?" Your silence had gotten his attention better than any words could. He released your hand to brush back a wayward strand of your hair. "Are you feeling ill...? You look pale."

Heaving a sigh, you shook your head. The first thing to come to mind spilled hurriedly from your mouth. "Wingdings, I- I don't think this is going to work."

He tilted his head, confused. "Ah...what isn't? Are you worried about your anniversary surprise? I promise, it's not a party or...well, anything too grand. I'd hate to make you uncomfortable."

Always so considerate and caring...you'd miss that terribly. Your voice grew even shakier. "I mean... _we're_ not...going to work. I'm sorry. I really am, I just-" Panic began to set in as you fumbled for the right words. "I don't feel the same way anymore," you blurted.

He couldn't have looked any more shocked if you'd struck him. After a long pause, he stated in a monotone, "You don't feel the same way...about me."

It hadn't been a question but you nodded anyway, averting your eyes from his face.

The deafening silence pounded in your ears. Gaster was staring at you like he couldn't believe you were there, that any of this could be real. This felt wrong, it felt awful- yet ultimately, you knew it was right.

For months now, you'd been reconsidering this relationship. He was sweet, and kind, and such a wonderful person...but you didn't love him. Somehow, the spark was gone, and when you thought about your future you just couldn't see him in it.

Despite how quietly he spoke, the sound of Gaster's voice made you jump. "I-I thought you w-were the _one_..." he stammered. "W-we were going to get m-married and have children and-" He broke off with a sniffle, turning his gaze down to the floor. "Isn't there anything I can do to change your mind?"

There had to be something you could do to make this less painful.

"I swear, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, it's just...sometimes people fall out of love."

It was then he started crying. It wasn't obvious at first. Tears trickled from his downcast eyes, and though he quickly tried to wipe them away they just wouldn't stop coming. His shoulders trembled as he struggled not to fall apart in front of you. Somehow, watching the feeble effort hurt even more than if he were openly sobbing. Your first instinct was to comfort him, as usual. Sure, you weren't in love anymore, but you still hated to see him suffer. You flinched when he finally looked back up at you, cleared his throat, and tried to talk. "...c-can we stay f-friends?"

You had to think about that. You definitely didn't want him out of your life for good, nor did you want to lose the other friends you'd made...but they'd probably hate you for this. Especially Sans, who had given you a fair warning not to do exactly what you had just done. "I don't know," you admitted. Finding nothing else to say, you left it at that.

"...I-I see." For a while, it seemed he had nothing else to say either. You were starting to feel awkward by the time he asked his next question. "C-could- could I have j-just one last hug? B-before you go?"

You couldn't deny him that. If anything, there was a slim chance it might offer some sense of closure. You nodded, and he stepped forward to pull you flush against his chest, just like every other time- but this time he was shaking so hard, his breathing too quick and shallow. He had to stop himself as he leaned down to nuzzle your hair, reminding himself that he shouldn't. You weren't his anymore. What a terrible thought.

After an immeasurable amount of time, Gaster withdrew his arms and crossed them. Both of you were at a loss of what to say or do next. Since there was no reason to stay any longer, you gave a weak smile, turned, and left his apartment for the last time.

Gaster stared at the spot where you'd just been standing and counted to thirty before crumpling to the floor, covering his face as he bawled like an infant. The pathetic display sure made him feel like one. His only comfort resided in the knowledge that you didn't have to witness it. He had no idea that you were lingering in the hallway, slumped against the wall, and could hear him clearly through the door. Part of your brain screamed at you to run back in, say it was a mistake and apologize a thousand times- but it wasn't. You couldn't keep pretending.

He deserved someone who truly loved him.


	50. Crimson and...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You follow up on a promise made on a whim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some extremely fluffy fluff to make up for the sads last chapter.

Though you could scarcely believe it, the magical energy conversion project was nearly at its completion. Once about the size of a washing machine, the massive device now took up nearly half the lab. Gaster had predicted that it would be ready for the first test run within three months. You worked vigorously every day, eager to reach that pinnacle point of the almost year-long endeavor.

But today, there was something else on your mind. Gaster, obscured behind the machine as he poked around in a panel, sidled around it and into view when you called his name. "Yes, dear?"

"Remember when you were drunk, and I said I'd get you a cat if you stopped being a goof?"

"...I don't remember many details from that night, so...no."

"Not surprising, but do you still want a cat?"

"Ah...you're serious?" You'd gotten his full attention now. He squeezed through a gap between the converter and the wall to rush eagerly to your workbench.

"Of course. Since you love Morti so much, I figured it's only fair you get a cat too. Preferably one that's...less of an asshole. We can go to the shelter when our shift is over, how does that sou-  _oookay_. Uh, I'll take that as a yes?"

Elated, Gaster had spun you around in one of the off-the-floor hugs he so often gave without warning, knocking the breath right out of you. "That sounds wonderful! Oh, I'm so excited!" He squeezed you one more time before setting you back down. Since his labcoat had been covered in grease stains from the machine,  _your_ labcoat was now covered in grease stains, but you could only laugh it off in the face of his enthusiasm. Gaster, seeming to realize he was acting like a loon, grinned sheepishly and began fiddling with his hands. "Ah, not that I'm doubting your motives, but...what's the occasion?"

"Our first anniversary, remember? I can't believe it's been almost an entire year. Sure didn't feel like that long..."

"Time flies when you're having a good time, doesn't it?" Gaster beamed, edging the slightest bit closer so he could wrap an arm around your waist.

You happily leaned into the contact, grinning in agreement. "Well, I don't know what you have in mind, but I've got a few surprises planned for my precious cinnamon roll-" You beckoned him down, and when he leaned over you gave his not-nose a boop. "-and this is only the first one."

He giggled and covered his face with his hands. "Hey, that tickles!" Through his fingers, you could see the faintest hint of lavender. "I'm so very curious to know what you have in store...but asking would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it? I only hope my own plans are, ah...adequate," he sighed, deflating a little.

"Shush, you know I love anything you do. You could literally just give me a box of tic tacs or whatever and I'd be happy."

"...tic tacs."

"What? They're good!"

"You are the _strangest_ human I have ever encountered."

"Well if I'm such a weirdo and you chose to date me, what does that say about you?"

"That I'm insane, most likely." To your surprise, he followed the statement with another hug and, inevitably, a hair nuzzle. "But I'm still the luckiest monster in the whole world."

"...You're not just saying that because I'm getting you a cat, are you?"

"Well, it's definitely  _part_  of the reason-"  
   
"Get back to work," you said with a snort, returning to your own task.

"I thought _I_ was the one in charge here?"

"Since when?"

"Since...ah." He shrugged. "Good point. Well, the sooner we finish up, the sooner I get my kitty!"

It seemed like Gaster couldn't keep still the entire rest of the work day. Even during breaks, he was constantly twitching his hands, pacing, or smiling to himself for seemingly no reason at all. When at long last it was quitting time, he followed you to your car like an overly attached puppy and bounced right into the passenger seat. The drive was only about ten minutes long, and yet you could see him fidgeting in your peripheral vision the whole way there. You could've sworn he squeed when you pulled into the animal shelter parking lot.

You made an even stranger noise than that when he bonked his forehead on his way through the door. This happened unfortunately often- buildings weren't usually made for people so tall- yet you always made him lean over so you could check for any injuries. And to give the sore spot a smooch, of course.

Shortly after telling the front desk people what you were there for, you were led to the 'cat room' by one of the assistants. Gaster looked ready to cry tears of joy when he stepped in and was immediately swarmed by at least twenty attention-hungry cats of various breeds, colors, and degrees of fluffiness. "There are so many! How do I choose...?"

"I know, it's hard. But your apartment's too small for you to become a crazy cat guy."

He sat down on the floor and let the cats practically crawl all over him, giggling and petting those that came within reach. Finding that two hands weren't enough, he summoned a few extra ones to help. You felt warmth seeping through your chest from seeing him in such bliss. Even the clerk couldn't help but chuckle when Gaster nuzzled the top of a grey kitten's fuzzy head. When he'd first come in, they were...thrown off, to say the least. They hadn't expected such a huge, strange, and honestly intimidating monster to end up rolling around on the floor with a bunch of cats.

Suddenly, Gaster focused in on a russet colored tabby who'd just slunk into his lap. "_____...look at this one!" He picked the kitty up and held it next to his face. "We match!" he beamed. He was right; the cat's right eye was permanently squinted, just like his own. A thick, scraggly scar ran through the eye from brow to muzzle.

"That one's Clover," the clerk told him. "She's been here a while."

"Oh? Why?"

"Well...no one's wanted her before. People don't usually pick pets with...deformities."

Gaster made a soft noise of distress, his eyes widening in shock. "What? That's awful! Who wouldn't want such a precious little treasure? Yes, that's you!" He was talking directly to Clover now. " _You're_ the treasure! Oh, you're so cute! _____, look at her little paws! And her teeny nose! Isn't she the most adorable thing you've ever seen?"

"Can confirm, those are some quality feets. You want her, then?"

"I want all of them, but...yes. I think this is the one." He squished his face to the cat's cheek, cooing at her adoringly. Surprisingly, Clover didn't seem bothered by it at all. Rather, she closed her eyes and began to purr. You couldn't decide which of them looked cuter.

"Alright, you big softie...let's go fill out the paperwork."

Gaster wouldn't let go of Clover until you got to the car, even when offered a carrier to put her in. "She likes being held," he insisted. That definitely appeared to be true- the cat was already half asleep in his arms. She was blessedly calm on the way home, as well as when you two released her into Gaster's apartment. The first thing she did was sniff around, checking out her surroundings...immediately followed by flopping over and rolling around on the plush carpet.

"Wow. She must trust you already. They normally won't show off their belly like that unless they're super comfortable."

Gaster stared at his new companion with stars in his eyes, mumbling something you couldn't hear.

"Hm?"

Now he looked at you, beaming radiantly. "I said thank you, love. This is truly the best gift anyone's ever given me."

"Oh." Were you blushing? Probably. "Yeah, w-well...happy anniversary. It's been a great year."

"It most certainly has..." He'd wrapped both arms around your shoulders, and you rested your hands on his chest as he leaned over to kiss you. It lasted quite a while. You were admittedly a little dizzy by the time he pulled back to murmur breathlessly, "And I look forward to many more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cat rooms are a real thing, you know. There's one at my local humane society, and it's legit the best thing ever when you walk in and there are cats on every surface.
> 
> On a serious note: please consider the 'imperfect' animals when you're looking to adopt a pet. It's unfortunate but true that thousands of animals with missing limbs, wonky eyes, scars, etc. get left in shelters almost their entire lives because no one wants them. They need love too ;_;


	51. Cosmic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You commence your second anniversary surprise for the cinnamon roll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk more filler fluff I guess

"Pleeeease? I never get to see them!"

"Because they're weapons, dear. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Aw, come on...the only way I'd get hurt is if you used them on me, and I know you'd never do that. Besides, they're cute!"

"...cute."

"Yeah! Don't you think so? Aren't they technically your kids, or...something?"

Gaster sighed and shook his head. "Clones, to be precise. Made from my own DNA and a few, ah...extra elements." You only needed to give him puppy dog eyes for a few more seconds before he broke. "I...suppose it would be alright. But not for too long. I'd hate to frighten any passersby."

"Are you kidding? There won't be any 'passersby', no one knows about this spot." You'd introduced him to this enclosed alcove at the park a few dates prior. Surrounded by trees and bramble bushes, the area was known only to those select few who had happened across it by chance. You'd found the place while trying to retrieve a frisbee from one of the nearby trees. After climbing almost all the way to the top, you realized you didn't know how to get back down. You panicked, lost your grip, and fell right into the secret clearing. The resulting sprained wrist and bruised knees had been well worth the discovery.

Currently, you were leaning against the same tree you'd fallen from, into the trunk of which you and Gaster had carved your initials. You'd mocked the idea at first as something silly, a tradition only practiced by teenagers on first dates...but seeing that choppy, polygonal heart curled around those letters never failed to make you smile.

Gaster heaved another sigh, this time in defeat. "Well...I can't say no to you. But please be careful." With a subtle flick of his fingers, he summoned two familiar, enormous dragon skulls. They took up nearly the entire clearing, forcing you to scoot to the edge.

"Hey guys! Good to see you," you chirped. The closest blaster- which you'd named Louis- nudged you with its pointed nose. Its twin, Nicolas, emitted a low rumble that shook the leaves on the trees. This had scared the bejeezus out of you the first time you heard it, but you'd since learned that the threatening sound was actually akin to a purr. "Aww, you're happy to see me too, aren't you? C'mere, cuties-" You opened your arms wide, offering a hug. Both of them came rushing in to accept it.

Gaster squeaked as he was shoved aside. He braced himself against a tree to keep from toppling over, calling, "Watch out for their teeth! They tend to forget how sharp they are!"

"Don't worry about it, these guys are harmless." You hooked an arm over each of the blasters, going between their horns so you could pat their bony heads affectionately. Louis' long, forked tongue snaked out from between its teeth to give you a pet in return, albeit a...slimier one. Gross. But it meant well, so you forced yourself not to shudder as your hair was slathered in magical saliva. "Uh...I love you too?"

Gaster was steadily blanching- if it was even possible for him to get any paler. "Alright, that's q-quite enough. Time to say goodbye, dears."

Both dragons whined in unison. You voiced your own displeasure as well, "But it hasn't even been a minute!" Your pouty expression was quickly swept away by a worried one. Gaster looked about ready to pass out, clinging to his chosen tree for support. "Wingdings...?"

"I-I'm sorry, but this magic is rather difficult to keep up right now. You'll get to see them again, I p-promise."

"Oh...right. See you guys later." You gave each blaster a brief pat before they dissipated into dark purple smoke, then rushed over to Gaster and grasped his hands. His breathing was far too ragged and shallow for your liking. "You okay?" you asked worriedly, giving his fingers a squeeze and forcing him to focus on you. He did so blearily, eyes squinted in confusion. "Here, sit down and relax. Shit, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have pushed you so hard."

He shook his head wordlessly and slumped to the grass. You felt a gentle tugging on your pant leg. Taking the silent hint, you sat down beside him and nestled against his side. His arms wrapped around you almost instantaneously. "I'm fine," he rasped. "Just...tired." He took a deep breath to steady his voice, eyes growing unfocused for a few concerning moments. "Stars, I've gotten weak..."

"It's not your fault, it's those meds. Maybe Doctor Starling can adjust the dosage." Just last month, Gaster's therapist had put him on some sort of monster-made treatment to quell his anxiety. The stuff worked wonders, but had the unfortunate side effect of draining his magical energy. In your excitement to see the blasters again, you'd completely forgotten. At least both of you could agree that the results were well worth the trouble. He'd been astoundingly relaxed lately, as well as much more confident. Not to mention, he hadn't suffered any nightmares since starting the medication.

He shrugged in response, resting his chin on the top of your head. "Perhaps. So long as it still works. Ah...do you mind if I lie down for a bit? Everything's...spinning."

"'Course not. Oh wait, here-" You slipped out of his arms, laid back on the grass and motioned for Gaster to follow.

And so he did, curling up against your side with his head on your chest. A giddy smile overtook his pained grimace within seconds. "Ahehe...thank you, love. You make a wonderful pillow."

"Anytime Cinny. Just don't fall asleep or you'll miss it."

"Hm? Miss what?"

"You'll see, you only have to wait..." You checked the time on your phone. "About twenty more minutes."

You didn't have to look down to know he was brimming with curiosity, but he let it slide. "Well...alright. Though I was so looking forward to taking a nap."

Your hand came to rest on his head, rubbing methodically over the larger of his scars. "Afterwards. And at home. In an actual _bed_ , not on the ground."

He yawned, emitting a happy hum in response to your touch. "Mmm...don't talk about beds right now. You'll only make me sleepier."

For a while, there were only the sounds of crickets and rustling leaves in the cool evening air. The sky, already turning dark, went fully black. You could see the first of the stars blinking into existence, eventually bringing the rest. With a quick glance downward to make sure Gaster was still awake- which he was, although barely- you gave him a nudge. "Look up."

He did, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and only turning his head slightly so he remained lying on you. He beamed radiantly the moment the sky came into view. "I love the stars! Is this what you wanted to show me?"

"Eh...they're _part_ of it."

"What do you...mean..." He trailed off as the true spectacle began, his eyes growing wide in shock and wonder. "Oh, _____..."

The two of you watched, he in stunned silence and you with some amount of amusement, as the brilliant meteor shower overtook the sky. Gaster was practically gaping at each bright white contrail, their light reflecting so beautifully in his eyes...you couldn't resist hugging him tightly, giving _his_ head a nuzzle for once. He hummed again, almost a purr, but never broke his gaze from the sky. You were fairly certain he'd never seen anything like this before. To your knowledge, it was the first meteor shower since he'd left the Underground.

The event ended far too quickly. Afraid to disturb the silence but dying to know if the surprise had been adequate, you chanced a quiet, "So what'd you think?"

He responded not with words, but by flipping over and lying on top of you like some living blanket, pressing a slow, gentle kiss to your neck. "Marvelous," he whispered, resting his head back on your chest. "Incredible, beautiful, breathtaking- and the stars were rather nice too."

That one took you a moment to figure out, but when you did you certainly flushed fire red. You, inevitably, deflected your embarrassment with humor. "...you're such a cornball."

"I like to think of myself as a romantic," he countered, mindlessly tracing the design on your shirt.

"A hopeless one, maybe."

"Hopelessly _in love_ , perhaps."

"Yeah...love you too, nerd."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who can tell me where I got the blasters' names from gets a virtual hug.
> 
> Also I know that 1) I've already mentioned they live in the city, so there's no way they'd be able to see the stars so clearly with all the light pollution and 2) real meteor showers aren't so spectacular as this but shhhh, I threw realism out the window ages ago :v


	52. NC - Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He loves you just as you are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non canon chapter for fat/overweight reader. What? A non canon chapter that's *not* emotionally scarring? What is this madness?!
> 
> But yea, this is a bit self indulgent since I've been a genuine Chubby Person™ my entire life, aaaaand felt pretty gross about it. I know plenty of people struggle with low self esteem due to their weight, so hopefully this can help some others too. Reader is still non gender specific in this one.

After a long, hectic day of work, one of your favorite things to do was recline on the couch with a blanket, snacks, and a very warm, affectionate monster. Gaster leaned against you with an arm around your shoulders, a summoned hand supporting the bowl of potato chips- or as he'd called them, 'popato chisps'- as a voice from the TV droned on about the cosmos. It was an interesting subject, for sure, but you were more focused on the way your boyfriend's hand rubbed mindlessly up and down your arm, or how his breath ghosted over your hair and tickled your scalp- or the food.

And that was the part you hated. The purple hand held the bowl out towards you, offering another chip. You'd been about to reach for one when you noticed how thick your thigh looked pressed against Gaster's much thinner one. You pulled back abruptly, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"Not hungry?"

"No."

Something in your tone must have caught his attention. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah."

"...are you certain?"

"Yes." There was no point in lying, he'd already seen right through it. "Okay. I guess not. Do you think I'm...big?"

He considered the question carefully, pausing the show to give you his full attention. "I suppose you are somewhat larger than most humans. Why do you ask?"

It was like he had no idea how much that made your heart sink. "...nevermind."

He frowned, put off by your reaction. "I didn't mean any offense by it, love. I find it to be one of your most endearing qualities."

Now _that_ was baffling. " _How?_ I'm-" All the words that'd been thrown at you throughout your life flew through your mind in a near endless list: disgusting, unhealthy, gross, unattractive, lazy, _fat_ -

"You're what? Lovely? Yes, I'd agree." He chuckled, lifting you effortlessly and pulling you into his lap.

You didn't know how to put it without concerning him. "So it's never bothered you that I'm...this way? _No one's_ ever liked it."

With a puzzled frown, he briskly shook his head. "Absolutely not." He thought for a moment and, seemingly coming to a conclusion, raised an eyebrow in question. "Has it never bothered you that my appearance is so cadaverous?"

The very idea was appalling. "Why would you even call yourself that?!"

"You don't think I look at all freakish? Disturbing, perhaps?"

"No!"

"But that's what others have told me. If everyone says it, it must be true, correct?"

The knowledge that people had said such cruel things to him enraged you. " _Fuck_ what everyone else says. You're-" Seeing the coy smile on his face, you hesitated, muttering the last word in defeat- "...perfect."

"And I think the same of you, love. Always have."

You faltered at that. The arguments you had planned now seemed weak and silly. "But..."

"No, there's no use denying it," he insisted stubbornly. "Your body is just as beautiful as the rest of you. Not to mention, you're so soft and warm...simply perfect for cuddling!" He exemplified this point by hugging you closer to his chest and nuzzling into your hair. As such, his next sentence was muffled, "I must admit, I'm a little envious..."

"You're _what_?"

He sighed, leaning back so he could look into your eyes. "Well, some monsters can change the shape of their bodies- whether through magic or adjustments in behavior, like humans- and others...can't. Due to my father's skeletal genes, I'm one of the latter. I'll be stuck looking like a ghoulish frea-" Seeing the glare you shot him, he hastily rephrased- "L-like this for the rest of my life. Fortunately, most of monsterkind doesn't give much thought to one's physical form. We're all so diverse, it would be ridiculous to judge on such terms!" His smile flickered the slightest bit. "Though, ah...since coming to the surface, I've learned that humans feel very differently. You _can_ change your body, if you wish...but you don't have to! If you do, you'll have my full support! I'll assist in any way I am able." He smiled brightly, gently squeezing one of your hands. "But if you'd like to stay as you are, I'll stand with you just the same. Please, do not feel obligated to change for anyone but yourself. Not even me." He ended with a kiss to your forehead, as well as a quiet murmur of, "I'll _always_ love you, regardless of how you look."

You were stunned into a prolonged silence, one that was apparently worrying. "_____? Are you-"

"I'm fine." You waved him off with a chuckle, wiping at your eyes before he could notice you'd teared up. "Great, actually. You're the best, you know that? The absolute  _sweetest_ cinnamon roll."

He tried and failed to hide his resulting blush by hugging you to his chest again. "I-I'd like to argue that  _you_ are the best...but we've had that discussion before, and I don't recall it going anywhere."

"Heh, yeah. I guess an endless cycle of compliments isn't the  _worst_ conversation we've ever had." You allowed yourself a few blessed moments to relax, closing your eyes and listening to his heartbeat. Though it wasn't long before you asked, "Be honest, would you find me more attractive if I lost weight?"

He tsked disapprovingly. "Didn't I just say-"

"Come on, I won't be offended. I'm just curious."

"Ah. If you must know..." From where your head rested, you could hear his heart rate pick up just the slightest bit. "I actually d-do prefer a, ah... _fuller_...figure..."

"...oh my god, you're a chubby chaser."

He recoiled in equal parts confusion and horror, a dark violet flush on his cheeks. "A _what?!_ "

"Hey, no judgment. That works out in my favor, actually."

"I-I am not-!"

"Just wait until Sans hears this, he'll laugh for  _weeks_ -" You slyly reached for your phone on the coffee table.

A purple hand scooped it up and lifted the phone out of reach. "Don't you dare!"

"Relax. I won't." You could barely contain your giggles as you leaned back onto the couch, holding out your arms invitingly. With an irritable huff, Gaster slunk back towards you. "Aww, you're pouting!" He grumbled something you couldn't make out. "You know, if it's any consolation, I've always had a thing for skinnier guys. It's like we're made for each other." You heaved a dramatically dreamy sigh, though the statement wasn't entirely meant to tease.

Fortunately, he seemed to pick up on that, his embarrassment fading as quickly as it had come. "I can agree with at least that much. I don't believe I could _ever_ find a more perfect lover."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In canon, G has no body type preferences. The opportunity was just too perfect to pass up here ;u;
> 
> As requested by lazy_sans_juli, I'm posting all the fanart here for easy reference. I'm not sure if you meant for this fic specifically, or just Gaster in general (bc I've mentioned both in the notes) but I'll put both anyway '^^ If anything else gets made/I find anything else relevant, I'll add it.
> 
> Here's the stuff for this fic:
> 
> http://mxmousey.deviantart.com/art/Is-it-okay-617330727
> 
> http://didyamissme.deviantart.com/art/Gaster-from-Irrefutably-yours-by-Coriander1975-630175669
> 
> And here's the one I mentioned that is not fic related but still cute as hell:
> 
> http://skelesass.tumblr.com/post/139300101620/gs-all-dressed-up-and-ready-to-be-your-valentine


	53. Close Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a lovely day, ended with an even lovelier surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW it's been forever since I last updated. Sorry, you know how it is when that Depression™ hits hard and you don't know how to function, but I am making a conscious effort to get my shit together!
> 
> Anyways, here's the anniversary chapter!

Exactly 364 days past the moment you first confessed your feelings for each other, Gaster arrived at your apartment looking flawless in a sleek new suit. He offered a bouquet of flowers seemingly out of nowhere. Needless to say, you accepted them with delight. Numerous wrapped boxes were the next items to appear, held firmly by his many floating hands.

Inside the first was a snazzy outfit of your own: a beautiful black suit/dress trimmed in your favorite color. You gasped, running your hands over the silky fabric that most _certainly_ couldn't have been cheap. Gaster waited patiently on your couch as you rushed back to the bedroom and put it on. His breath gave a small hitch when you returned, beaming and ready for whatever surprise he had in store. He rose to his feet, sweeping you into his arms and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You look radiant," he murmured with no small amount of reverence.

"You're looking pretty good yourself," you replied with a kiss in return. "My beautiful Cinny."

"My gorgeous human."

"My adorable monster."

"My stunning _____."

"My sexy nerd."

He had no response to that save for a bright violet blush.

"W-well, ah...are you ready?"

"Yes! Wait-" After adjusting his crooked bowtie, you took a step back and just...stared. Gaster grew steadily more and more purple until he finally asked what you were doing.

"Savoring the moment, is all. You really do look amazing."

"Oh...p-perhaps I should be doing the same. You're breathtaking." You found yourself pulled once again into his embrace. A hand poofed into being at the edge of your vision and placed itself against your cheek. "You make me so happy," he breathed, coming closer with every word. "At times, I almost can't believe this is real..."

As his eyes began to close, you took it upon yourself to ruin the moment. "Is it though?"

He froze in place with a weary sigh, knowing exactly what was going to come next. "_____, please-"

"What if this is all a simulation-"

"Dear-"

"Made by aliens-"

"Could you-"

"And we're actually in hibernation pods with the rest of mankind on some far away planet in-"

He shushed you by placing a hand over your mouth. You licked it. He recoiled, hastily trying to shake his glove dry. "Okay, I'm ready," you beamed.

"Well. Such a charming lover I have."

"Hey! _You_ picked _me_. I just accepted the offer."

"And no matter how many shenanigans you may subject me to, I will always be grateful for that choice." With a glance at his watch, he linked your arms together. "Now, ah, we really should get going. I made reservations."

Out of habit, you held your breath, expecting to be teleported. Instead, you were led through the foyer of your apartment building to find a limousine- an actual freaking _limo_ \- parked right outside.

"...you didn't."

"I did!"

"Whatever happened to 'nothing too extravagant'?" Your words were only meant to tease; this was actually pretty awesome.

"I decided that my beloved deserves only the best," Gaster said, giving your arm a squeeze. "It's not...t-too much, is it?"  
   
"Of course not. I've always wanted to ride in a limo!"

Chuckling, he opened the door and beckoned you inside. It had leather seats! Heated leather seats!! With adjustable temperatures!!! You fiddled with the controls while Gaster slid in beside you. He had to slouch even once seated, else his head would be pressed uncomfortably against the low ceiling. Fortunately for him, the ride ended up being a short one.

Your destination was even more shocking than the car that had brought you there.

You gaped at the sign above the door, lettered in a fine golden script against an elegant black background. "The Blue Rose? This is the fanciest place in the city!" Not to mention, if the word around town was anything to go by, expensive as hell.

If Gaster knew this, he was totally unfazed by it. "I take it you've never been here?" You quickly shook your head. "Neither have I," he continued. "But I've heard wonderful things about it. And before you say anything, do not worry about the price. I'm paying."

"You're gonna spoil me," you murmured on the walk to the silver double doors.

"I should hope so. I earn a decent salary, dear, and it's about time I made use of it."

"By spending it on your partner...?"

"Precisely! It's only a fair repayment for all you've given me."

"I got you a cat. That cost me, like, $30."

"Shush."

You found it difficult to complain after the first basket of bread. Sure, the food was going to be phenomenal, but nothing beats the free pre-dinner bread rolls. Especially these: steamy, dripping with butter and garlic, and topped with other artery-clogging yet delicious ingredients.

"Do you think they'd kick me out if I stuffed some of these rolls in my bag?" you wondered aloud.

"I don't believe they'd notice, but would advise against that plan nonetheless."

The waiter who took your orders had a legitimate French accent, as did everyone else in the establishment- even the busboy as he came around to clean nearby tables. You hesitantly dared to order something that wasn't the cheapest item on the menu, seeing as it was a dish you'd wanted to try for a very long time. Gaster seemed pleased by your choice.

While waiting for the food to arrive, you were given the rest of your presents: that video game you'd been hyped up about for months, a box of Belgian chocolates, books on astronomy, baking recipes, and the history of (your favorite band/musician); a woolly hand-knitted scarf with your name embroidered along the edge, and the gift you treasured most of all: a card with a beautifully composed, heartfelt message that filled the entire inner flap. The words were in English, not Wingdings, and it was obvious he'd tried painfully hard to make them more legible than his usual chicken scratch letters. By the end of it all, you felt ready to cry. No one had ever given you so much thought before.

"Cinny...you really are the best, you know? You're just- you're s-so sweet, and I d-don't deserve yo-"

He reached across the table and took one of your shaky hands in both of his. "You deserve the world, and nothing less. I shan't let you say otherwise."

"...hehe. 'Shan't'."

Gaster couldn't help but giggle in return, quickly wiping away your few tears before any other patrons in the restaurant could notice them.

He ended up buying an entire bottle of wine when you confessed to enjoying the sample glass, as well as a second bottle for a different occasion. He tried to justify it with, "It's not as though it'll go bad. We can drink it any time we wish."

And, though neither of you were hungry enough for dessert, you both knew you had to try the crêpes. They were incredible, of course.

When presented with the bill, Gaster briskly swiped it from the table before you had a chance to look at the total. He pointedly ignored your heavy sigh while digging through an inner pocket sewn into his coat. "I believe it's time for your final present."

Your playful irritation was abandoned in favor of genuine curiosity. He handed you the small, neatly wrapped package and leaned back, steepling his fingers as he watched for a reaction.

The box was thin, and upon opening it you found a stapled stack of papers. It seemed odd until you skimmed through the first few lines.

"You bought a _house_?"

"Yes. A fairly large one, with plenty of room for, say...t-two people and their cats?" He suddenly became very occupied with staring down at the table, hands wringing anxiously. "Y-you, ah, you've frequently expressed your distaste for the size of your home, so I thought perhaps some extra space was in order. Admittedly, I've been wanting a change of living quarters for quite a while, b-but you're...you're welcome to come live with me. In fact-" He forced his gaze up to meet yours, his smile equal parts hopeful and terrified. "I-I would be ecstatic if you did. B-but, ah, if you d-don't want to-"

Ignoring the fact that you were still in public, you stretched over the table and threw your arms around his shoulders, smooshing your face against his chest. "Are you _kidding_? Of course I want to live with you!" You practically lived at each other's apartments already, so what difference would this make? Besides the benefit of extra space, of course.  
   
As well as the extra privacy. No more disgusted neighbors pounding on the walls when your laughing or...other noises...became too much for them to handle.

Gaster released a shuddering breath, relieved, and tucked your head under his chin as he returned the embrace. "Goodness...and I thought I couldn't be any happier!"

The edge of the table was beginning to dig into your spleen. You decided you'd prefer the organ didn't get squished, and thus sat back, stood, and dragged your seat to be next to your boyfriend's. He also didn't seem to mind being affectionate in public, as he immediately began running a hand through your hair.

"I hope you're ready for the messes I'll make."

"Oh, I'm already well prepared for that." He'd definitely been to your apartment enough times to witness those horrors.

"It's not going to bother you? Having dirty laundry thrown around the bedroom-"

Gaster winced, but said nothing.

"Half-melted candles on every surface, cat hair _also_ on every surface-"

"I've already gotten used to that one, actually. Clover sheds quite a lot. As for the rest, I am willing to go through any trials if it means spending more time alone with the love of my life."

"...alone, huh?" Cue the suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

To your surprise, he responded in a quiet, husky tone, one you only had the pleasure of hearing when he was feeling particularly confident. Thank heavens for those new meds. "Yes, love. Utterly alone."

"Welp. Give me a day or two to get my stuff together- literally- and I'll gladly come invade your new house."

"I look forward to it. But before I take you home, there is one last place I'd for us to go." The flicker of concern across your features did not go unnoticed. "You've nothing to worry about. This stop won't cost us a cent, I swear."

"Alrighty. Not that I mind the fancy stuff, but I don't wanna drain your entire savings."

"I appreciate the thought." He rose, offering a hand. "Shall we, my dear?"

"Yes we shall, my cutie pie."

You both pretended not to notice the stares, some shocked, others appalled, and a few downright hostile; on your way out the door.

This time, the limo brought you to the park. Gaster led you by the hand to your special spot, and laid his coat on the ground under the tree you'd claimed with your initials. He sat with you on the makeshift blanket, one arm around your waist and the other resting in your lap, and together you watched the sun dip down past the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New fanart! It actually sort of goes with the start of this chapter ;u; Thank you again to the artist. It still blows my mind that there are people who want to draw stuff for this story!
> 
> http://didyamissme.deviantart.com/art/Gaster-from-Irrefutably-yours-by-Coriander1975-630175669


	54. ((Update))

Guess whose cell phone got water damaged and died? Hahahaha end me

At least ten, probably more, of my draft chapters were in that phone's notes. I never thought to save them anywhere else, since I've never broken anything that expensive before, so now most of my works in progress are just gone. Along with all the pictures, login info for like every account I have, and other important shit because my lazy ass never backed anything up. I _intended_ to, but of course I never got around to it. So yeah, I'm a little peeved. Because of this, updates may take even longer than they are already. I think I'll start keeping drafts in my google drive or something so this doesn't happen again. Not like I expect to destroy another phone whenever I get one, but just to be safe.


	55. Littlest Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone can see the big picture, but you always look for the details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's, like...no story at all in this chapter. It's a bunch of thoughts and observations from the reader's POV.

It's the little things, like the way he stands. Tall and unwavering on those rare days where he's filled with confidence, hands clasped neatly behind his back; slouched and withdrawn when he's nervous, restless fingers fumbling in seemingly sporadic patterns. It's those subtle behaviors that no one else ever sees, like the sudden twitch of his undamaged eye every time he laughs; the way he leans into your touches as if each one were the last he'd ever receive.

While you once struggled to judge when he was in need of your attention, you can now read his every emotion as easily as you decipher your own. Quick, jerky motions: he's peeved. Slow speech, drifting eyes: his mind is elsewhere. Silence, a downcast gaze: he's hiding. Something is wrong. This is when you need to pry,  _gently_  and without force, but pry nonetheless. Otherwise, whatever rabid worry is gnawing at his brain will only grow stronger, until he can't bear any more and snaps.

You keep a lookout for these small, insignificant details, squirreling away each new fact in a mental filing cabinet labeled, 'The Lifestyle and Habits of _Monstrus dorkus_ ' for future reference.

You've noticed the odd glimmer of his amethyst eyes. Their shine is much brighter than any humans' could achieve, emitting an almost bioluminescent glow that's just strong enough to be noticed in a dimly lit room.

You've admired his frighteningly sharp fangs, a dental structure clearly meant for rending and tearing. Though in reality, he isn't much of a carnivore. His jaws are not at all suited for the sweets he prefers, especially not the saltwater taffy that you keep telling him to  _just leave alone you dolt, it'll stick everywhere._  But he never listens. For hours after, you receive the _wondrous_ pleasure of hearing him whine and moan about how much his teeth hurt.

You've felt his sleek, unusually cool skin, marred only by the scars you've come to adore. They're one of the few parts of him that's rough, cracks in otherwise clean and solid porcelain. The rest of him is incredibly smooth and pleasant to the touch. And as much as you might tease him for being bald- "How can I be _bald_ if I've never had hair in the first place!"- you've often found yourself softly rubbing his head, petting him as you do your cat, and he never complains. In fact you've caught him drifting off to sleep under your delicate ministrations, humming tunelessly as his head sinks heavily against your chest and comes to rest above your heart. He's confessed to enjoying the rhythmic sound, as it's a comforting reminder that you're there, you're _alive_ , and you're his.

You don't mind how sharply his bones protrude beneath his skin, though they dig painfully into your comparably softer body when you lie close together. Nor are you bothered by his harsh, growling voice; though it  _does_ scare the daylights out of you when he mumbles in his sleep. You are very much okay with the way he clings, desperate for a lifeline, for comfort. He holds you as he pleases, no matter if you were in the middle of baking, or cleaning up, or _god damn it Gaster I'm on the phone, can't it wait?_  He wants to snuggle _right now_ , and so you passively accept your fate as you're dragged into his reaching arms by an insistent, floating hand.

All these little things that an average person may see as faults, you find inordinately endearing.

All these little things that you're aware of, yet so many mysteries surround him, so much you haven't learned about the person you want to know best.

To be fair, there's much he doesn't know about _you_ , either.

But if you keep searching for these little things, someday you may discover everything there is to know about Wingdings Rockwell Gaster.


	56. Spooky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know, like, nyah?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so technically reader and G have already had their first Halloween together, but I wanted to save this chapter for when it was relevant in real time. Chronologically speaking, this occurs before the last few chapters yet is still canon. All the holiday chapters will likely be this way. Screw consistent time progression.
> 
> Now that that's out of the way: new art! It's so cute, look at his face, aaaaaa! Please go give the artist some likes and nice comments!
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BLLxn88Fj-K/

Ah, autumn; undoubtedly the loveliest of seasons. Warm coffee, crunchy leaves, fuzzy sweaters, pumpkin spice everything, and the greatest oddity of human culture: Halloween. It was only the beginning of the month and you were already seeing decorations on grocery stores, banks, and homes in your neighborhood. Some were cheesy scarecrows and those adorable mini pumpkins that pop up in craft stores each year, while others were more along the lines of rubber body parts and very obviously artificial blood. The most memorable was a huge, creepily realistic spider by the edge of someone's yard. Upon walking past it, the thing leapt off the ground with a poorly recorded screaming sound effect.  
  
You started a little, then laughed off your embarrassment. Gaster, however, _shrieked_ and nearly jumped out of his skin. You'd never heard him make such a sound before.

To be honest, it was hilarious.

He was now standing behind you, clenching your shoulders in a death grip. It took you a few long moments to register that he, an eight foot two _skyscraper_ of a monster, was legitimately trying to hide behind you, a [your height] human. The realization only made you laugh harder. "Gaster? Gast, chill, it's not real."

"B-but...it's right there..." He pointed towards the spider with one trembling hand.

"It's not alive. Just a prop, see?" You stepped forward, and the motion sensor picked up the movement.

Gaster squeaked and hid his face against your hair as it sprung towards him again. "W-what sort of 'p-prop' tries to give passersby heart attacks?! That's n-not very nice!"

You shrugged, still chuckling, yet you couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. The poor guy was so easily spooked. "Sorry, Cinny. Scaring people is a Halloween tradition. I'll protect you from all the mean decorations from now on, okay?"

"Hmph. Very funny." He straightened, attempted to gather his few remaining shreds of dignity, and then clung to your arm like a child would to their parent as you continued down the sidewalk. "So, ah...what _is_ Halloween?"

Aaaand you've stopped moving again. You gaped at his puzzled face, appalled. "That wasn't a thing in the Underground? You guys celebrated Christmas-" Though the monster variant was called 'Gyftmas', it was essentially the same holiday- "But not Halloween? The greatest tradition of all time?!"

"You feel passionately about this, don't you?"

"Yeah, okay, we need to have a talk. Wanna get coffee first? I'll buy."

Glancing shyly at the ground, he smiled and squeezed your arm a bit tighter. "Can I get a latte? Or one of those 'frapuccinos'?" His eyes widened. "C-can I get _both_?"

"You can get whatever you'd like, as long as you don't make yourself sick. Those things are packed with sugar."

"Yes! That's why they're so wonderful!"

"Maybe that's why _you're_ so wonderful," you gushed, poking him in the side.

His bemused expression stood in contrast to the blush that arose from your compliment. "Because I'm packed with sugar...?"

"Yeah! You're a cinnamon roll, after all," you explained. "Plus, you eat it like _constantly_ -"

"I-I get cravings," he murmured, pouting.

"What, are you pregnant or something?"

It was fortunate you hadn't yet gotten your coffees, because if he'd been drinking anything, it would now be sprayed all over you. "Heavens, n-no! And if I were, I'd certainly have told you already!"

Rolling your eyes, you gave his arm a consoling pat. "I was only joking, geez. It's not like you _could_ get pregnant anyway."

His expression was one of legitmate confusion. "Why not?"

"Uh...Wingdings. My love. I know this might be shocking for you, but you are, in fact...male."

Now it was his turn to be exasperated. "Thank you for informing me. I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"Those who are biologically male cannot be impregnated. I can't believe I'm having 'the talk' with a 37 year old-"

"I know how reproduction works!" he insisted just a bit too loudly for being in a public space. He glanced around, blushing, and lowered his voice. "I don't know how it works for humans, but monsters of any gender can be the carrier for their child's soul."

"Carrier for the soul...?"

"Monsters don't possess wombs, dear." His brow furrowed, and for a moment he looked uncertain. "At least, I don't believe we do...? But ah, in any case, the parents produce a new soul together, which grows off the soul of either parent. It forms its own body at the end of the gestation period."

"...you're serious."

"Yes."

"Oh." You took in this information slowly, then began to realize, "Soooo if we had kids, hypothetically speaking, and we used the monster method... _you_ could be the baby mamma?"

"Must you use that term?"

"Yup."

"...very well. Yes. I could, but..." If you hadn't been holding his arm, he'd be wringing his hands right then. You could easily tell, especially since they had already begun twitching.

"But...?"

"Well, as much as I'd love to be a father...y-you know my soul is...damaged...and the soul growing process is very strenuous on the carrier. Thus, a pregnancy might, ah..." His shoulders slumped a bit, and he sighed as if disappointed with himself. "...k-kill me."

You stopped walking, overcome by a sudden, horrifyingly familiar mental image of him dusting before you. You'd seen it in your nightmares often enough, and the scene was not difficult to imagine. "Yeah...that's not happening. I mean, it's not like we'll have kids anytime soon, right?"

"...right." With that final word, you both continued in silence until you reached the café. You ordered your drinks- Gaster decided on one mocha frappucino, though it was the largest size they offered- sat down, and began an entirely different, much more bizzare conversation.

Gaster was baffled by just about everything you said. Being the type who liked to know everything and anything with one hundred percent certainty, he asked many questions such as,

"Why can adults not 'trick or treat'? We like candy too..."

"You...put your head in the water? Why not simply use your hand to get the apples?"

"I can't fathom why humans would fear ghosts. They're usually quite nice."

"Monster...mash? As in potatoes? Monsters do not have a proclivity for potatoes as a whole, but they _are_ quite good."

You answered each to the best of your ability. A few, though, had you laughing far too much to respond coherently.

But with your thorough explanations, he seemed to at least get the basics. "I'd like to participate in this event. Would you help me choose a costume? I don't even know where to look for one..."

"There's a Halloween store at the mall. You wanna take that with?" You pointed to his drink, realized it was now an empty cup, and gaped. "You freaking sugar whore. You got it like ten minutes ago."

"I-I was actually thinking of getting another for the shopping trip..."

Unable to deny any of his requests, he left with yet another frappucino. Though this one was caramel.

The mall was packed when you arrived. Not surprising for 5pm on a Friday. You led Gaster around the Halloween store, pointing out things he might like.

"Now I'm not sure if any of these are gonna fit you, but we can improvise. Like this-" You picked a cape off the rack- "would be a little short, but it'd still work well enough. You've got the right look for a vampire, anyway."

"Er...how so?"

"Well, you're pale, your teeth are big and sharp, your voice is all deep and villain-y...all you'd need is the outfit."

"Ah...true. But aren't vampires supposed to be...c-creepy?"

Seeing his shaky smile, it occurred to you that your comparison may have hurt his feelings. "Hey, wait, no, you are _not_ creepy. I'm sorry, I wasn't-"

"It's alright, dear. I know you meant nothing by it."

You flung the cape back in the general direction of the rack, freeing your arms so you could hug his narrow waist. "You're not creepy. You're cute."

He placed a hand on the back of your head, chuckling. "You've told me many times before."

"Should I stop saying it?"

"...no."

"Good. Wasn't planning on it." You- somewhat reluctantly- let go and led him through the rest of the store, bypassing the scary costumes entirely. To your utter surprise, he insisted you stop at the 'sexy' costumes section.

"Look!" he beamed, pointing to a black, fuzzy catsuit and ears. "I could go as a kitty!"

"Uh...okay? You should try it on before we buy it, though." To your own chagrin, you were greatly looking forward to seeing him in the skintight outfit.

"Right! You'll tell me how it looks, won't you?" Without waiting for a response, he grasped your wrist and dragged you along to the fitting room. You leaned against the wall by his door, and when he finally stepped out-

Dear lord, was it _tight_. The legs and arms were a little too short, of course, yet it fit his thin form rather well. As expected, he was blushing furiously. What you did not expect was for him to smile brightly and say, "I-I quite like it. What do you think?"

"This is the one. You look so-" A few lewd comments came to mind, but you shoved them aside. " _Adorable!_ And, uh..." Alright, you could let one slip. "It really shows off that lovely figure of yours. And those looooong legs." As his blush deepened, so did your mischievous grin. "And that _waist_ , damn! You don't even need a corset, you've got-"

"_____, p-please!" He hid his face in his hands, the ear headband nearly slipping off in his haste to conceal his bright blush.

"It's not _my_ fault you're hot."

An I'm-very-done-with-your-shit-glare silenced your teasing, and Gaster left the store with his cat costume. You, on the other hand, left with a cosplay of your favorite character. You were still shocked the store had it, especially one with such accuracy to the original design.

"Now we're all dressed up...but we have nowhere to go. Any ideas?"

Gaster hummed in thought. Just as he opened his mouth to answer you, his phone rang. "Ah...just a moment." He took a peek at the screen before tapping the green 'accept call' button. "Oh! It's Toriel! Hello! Hm? Yes, that sounds lovely! May I bring _____? Aheheh, I know, but I thought it'd be polite to ask. I can't go anywhere without them..." He wrapped an arm snugly around your shoulders, making you very curious as to where he'd be taking you. "Thank you for inviting us. We'll see you there!" With that, he ended the call and swept you into a tight hug, squealing with excitement. "Frisk is hosting a get together on Halloween! We're going to play games, and watch movies, and there will be _candy_ \- oh, ah, do not worry. It's not a large party, only a small gathering of friends. I assure you, you'll know everyone there."

You hadn't even been concerned about that, but his consideration was sweet anyway. "Awesome!  I can't wait to see everyone's costumes...five bucks says Sans wears one of those t-shirts with 'Halloween Costume' on it."

"That's hardly a fair bet on my end."

He was right. Sans was the one to greet you both at the door, wearing the exact shirt you'd predicted. He stared at Gaster for an oddly long time before blinking back to reality. "yowza. didn't expect something like that from _you_ , dings." Gaster only blushed, fiddling with his hands, until you told him, "Oh! Do the thing we talked about."

"You mean...?" Gaster lifted one gloved hand and swiped it like a cat. "Ah...nyah...?"

You'd never seen Sans look so disappointed. He sighed, stared at you for a moment, and continued. "...anyways, you guys better come in. paps is goin' nuts over showing off his costume."

Only two steps into the living room, you could immediately see why. 

Papyrus was standing on one arm of the couch, sparkling so brightly that for a moment, you almost believed he was on fire. His arms were covered in silver tubing, his legs concealed in pink boots- Mettaton. He'd dressed as Mettaton, albeit a Mettaton showered in craft store glitter. "BEHOLD MY BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL VISAGE AND WEEP. FOR I, METTATON, AM THE MOST GORGEOUS AND SPARKLY OF SUPERSTARS." He flipped his fake hair to reveal equally fake, oversized eyelashes.

Honestly? He'd done pretty well.

Gaster looked less than impressed, but you were sure that had nothing to do with the costume's quality. He still put on a cheerful smile and commended Papyrus for his wonderful work. Opinions on Mettaton aside, _nobody_ had the heart to make the Paps feel bad. In private, your boyfriend confided in you, "I think I much prefer _this_ to the original."

"Aw, don't be mean! I think you'd like him if you gave him a chance."

He continued as if he hadn't heard you. "...perhaps he'll arrive in his rectangular form. Or better yet, that _overgrown calculator_ won't arrive at all!"

You decided to let him gripe for a few more minutes before dragging him over to Frisk. They signed eagerly, complimenting your costumes, before twirling to show your their own. Their long, red gown looked like something straight from the Renaissance.

It didn't take long for Gaster's scowl to soften into a warm smile. He picked them up and gushed over their outfit, his jealousy quickly forgotten.

Your squad spent most of the evening watching some classic Halloween films: The Nightmare Before Christmas, Hocus Pocus, Halloween Town- all the good stuff. But once the innocent ones (Frisk and Papyrus) had been sent off to bed, Undyne pulled out new stack of movies. Her Frankenstein's monster costume, made to match Alphys' version of the creature's creator, was promptly doused as Undyne squeezed a tube of cherry-flavored 'blood' all over herself. Toriel looked about ready to scold her for making a mess when the Royal Guard captain hopped to her feet and shouted, "It's time to get R-rated, nerds! Who's ready to be scared shitless?!"

You could make out some titles from the stack of DVD cases: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, The Ring, Day of the Dead, as well as a few you didn't recognize. The _really_ good stuff.

Gaster, however, had already turned an alarmingly bright shade of white. You nudged his shoulder and sent him a quick message in signed Wingdings.

_You don't have to watch._

He shook his head, sending a brief message back.

 _I'll be fine_.

To put it simply, he was not fine. Only three minutes into the first movie, you could feel him trembling against your side. Though you were unbothered, having seen this one many times before, you crawled into his lap and allowed him to squeeze you every time he got scared. Meaning, his grip was continuously tight throughout the whole experience. You attmepted to comfort the terrified tol by offering him bits of chocolate and caramel from the bowl on the coffee table. The sweets' soothing effects were only temporary. He'd be on the verge of screaming as soon as the next demon, ghost, or murderer appeared on screen. He _did_ scream at a particularly violent murder scene, but so did Alphys, so he suffered only minor teasing from Sans. By the end, he was as pale as he could get, his eyes wide and distant.

Undyne popped in another disk. "Ugh, what a letdown. Don't worry guys, these next ones are supposed to be _super_ scary!"

It was going to be a very long night.

Hours later, the final movie began rolling its credits. Sans, unsurpsingly, was fast asleep on the arm of the couch. Alphys and Undyne had snuck away at some point to prank the sleeping Papyrus with the 'whipped cream in the hand' trick. Toriel was left to see you both to the door, giving you each a hug and a thank you for coming.

Gaster was eerily silent on the drive home. "You okay over there?"

Silence, but a brisk nod.

"You sure those movies weren't too much for you?"

Sighing, he shrugged. "They were...v-violent, but I am alright."

You only discovered how untrue this claim was once you'd both stepped inside and swapped your costumes for cozy pajamas. Gaster had just finished washing the painted whiskers off his face when a wave of conflicting feelings hit him like a brick wall. "_____," he began, speaking slowly. "The creatures in those films weren't real, were they?"

You grabbed a towel and began patting his cheeks dry for him before answering. "No, dingus. They were not. You're safe."

"Ah. Good." He remained quiet until you'd both crawled into bed and settled into your usual cuddling position, where he continted as though the conversation never ended. "Are you certain?"

"Hm? About what?"

"That they aren't real."

"Wingdings? Go to sleep."

"Okay..." He pulled you tightly against him and closed his eyes. This lasted about thirty seconds.

"_____? Serial killers _are_ real, aren't they?"

Exhausted and grouchy, you didn't think twice about your choice of words. "Gaster. Go the _fuck_ to sleep."

"...okay. S-sorry." This time, he really did fall asleep. Within minutes, you did the same.

Around 4 am, your rest was prematurely broken by a blood-curdling scream that could surely be heard throughout the entire apartment building.

You shot forward, your back cracking with an audible snap from the force of the movement, and looked around in confusion. A trembling lump in the blankets beside you was the only thing of interest. You lifted the covers, but Gaster snatched them back and curled up tighter, whimpering.

The next thirty minutes were spent reassuring him that no, there were no 'monsters' in the room and yes, he'd dreamt the whole thing. You managed to persuade him out of his blanket cave, though he immediately burrowed against your chest and wrapped his arms tightly around your middle.

"_-_____...?"

Too tired for a proper response, you pet the back of his head and grunted in acknowledgment.

" _I_ was the m-monster."

Curiosity brought you out of your stupor, giving you enough sobriety to ask what in the world he was talking about.

"I was one of those... _things_. I-I was...hurting people..." Unable to go on, he fell into an uneasy silence.

You thought back to the films you'd watched, cycling through each one in your mind, until it came to you. "Wingdings...you're not gonna turn into a zombie. _They don't exist._ "

"B-but the virus-!"

"That doesn't exist either. And even if it did, you can't catch human sicknesses."

"...oh." His relentless grip loosened as he turned to look up at you. "Y-you're safe...?"

"Me? Why wouldn't I...?" Oh. He'd dreamt about attacking _you_. "Aw, Gast...I'm fine. I know you'd never hurt me.

He muttered lowly against your shirt. "I already have."

"Once. And it was an accident. Now shush, we have work today, and only..." You glanced at the clock. "Two more hours to sleep. Get some rest, my cinnamon roll." He sighed, accepting the kisses you pressed to his forehead, cheeks, and scars; and settled back down on top of you.

Right. No more horror movies for him. Societal norms be damned, next year you'd take him trick or treating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, that talk about pregnancy and whatnot was sort of out of place for a Halloween chapter...but I've been wanting to throw that information in for a while ;w;


	57. Spooky pt 2: The Spookening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take Gaster trick or treating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yea, this is a flash-forward to next Halloween. How are you going to take an adult man trick or treating? It's complicated! Read to find out!
> 
> This is for you, OwlChaser113

Tonight was the Thursday before Halloween, meaning it was time for children to go ask strangers for candy. It was also time for you to lead your 38 year old boyfriend around the neighborhood and try to convince people that he was actually a child. How would they know the difference? Monsters came in all sizes and forms, so it couldn't be too difficult to believe, right?

But after having six doors slammed in your faces, you decided a new course of action was in order. Through a particularly tricky work of magic, Gaster managed to transform into an approximation of his twelve year old self. The spell was purely cosmetic, leaving his mind and personality the same. Though his scars stayed and his right eye remained damaged, he was shorter, his voice was squeakier, and he looked-

"So. Freaking. Cute! Oh my God, you're so _tiny_ and _adorable_ and- aaaaaaaaa!" He groaned in annoyance as you scooped him off the floor, his witch costume now much too large for his small body. Fortunately, Alphys was willing to lend him a black dress, and his hat still fit well enough...though it kept falling over his eyes.

Yet he remained determined, a candy bucket in one hand and a broomstick in the other. From this point until 8 pm, you were going to be his 'Aunt/Uncle _____', taking their best friend's son out for Trick or Treat night. An odd arrangment, for sure, but you were going to get your Cinny his candy at any cost.

He was nervous at first, daring to ring doorbells only after being _shoved_ towards the porch. But after getting a somewhat decent reception at the first few stops- barring some disgusted looks and exasperated sighs, as if offended they had to give their precious dollar store candy to a _monster_ \- he began sprinting to each house, struggling to carry his rapidly growing hoard of sweets. Eventually, you'd visited every home, and his bucket was almost overflowing.

But oh, you were _far_  from finished.

You recruited the help of Sans, who could pass for a child as long as he didn't talk. People were generally thrown off when the supposed ten year old spoke in the deep baritone of a thirty year old Brooklyn man. This time Papyrus took over as the adult while you and your 'nephew' stood nearby, yet out of sight. Sans had no interest in keeping the haul, and Papyrus didn't want to 'ruin his killer bod', thus the second candy collection was gifted to Gaster. Who hadn't stopped looking like a child, by the way.

He was _still_ in this adorable form as you returned to your shared home, as well as when he tore open the first of his candies. Playing the part of guardian, you forced him to wait as you checked each wrapper for tears and allotted _five pieces for tonight, because if you eat too much you'll get sick._

He argued that he was _still an adult and perfectly capable of rationing his own candy, thank you very much._

Guess who ate too much chocolate that night? And guess who was still small the next morning? On a workday. Apparently, this spell lasted longer than he'd thought. It only gave him an excuse to take the day off and recover from his sugar-induced stomachache. You also took the opportunity to stay home and take care of your ill 'nephew', while definitely not sneaking a few pieces of chocolate for yourself.

Not like he'd be eating it anytime soon. Judging by how sickly magenta his face had become, Gaster's first Trick or Treat night was the last thing on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He regrets nothing.


	58. Chilled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The air is icy, and yet you feel warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so as a few of you seem to have already noticed (hOW I just did it like twelve hours ago) I deleted the sex chapter. I hope this doesn't upset anyone. Tbh I only wrote it in the first place because people were disappointed by the vague endings I used for suggestive chapters (teeth and touch) and I wanted to try doing something complete. I don't mind reading some smut (it's gotta be super specific tho), but creating it myself makes me really uncomfortable, as did having it up and available for others to see. Stuff like biting and foreplay are as far as I like to go in terms of smuttiness. Sorry, my ace ass isn't up for anything more graphic.

Seeing as this year's autumn was Gaster's first experience with the season, the two of you decided to take a much needed day off and enjoy nature for a while. You also wanted to show him something with a personal meaning, and maybe even share a bit of the history that you didn't often discuss.

With this in mind, the two of you planned a trip to a wooded reserve not far from the city. It also happened to be less than twenty miles away from Mt. Ebott. The last time you'd been there, you could see the mountain looming tall and dark in the distance over the trees, set starkly against the sunset-streaked sky.

One breezy Saturday morning, you packed a picnic basket, snacks, extra coats, and a very eager monster into your car before venturing out on the road. Said monster would not stay still for the entire ride. He was constantly fidgeting in his seat, opening and closing his window, fiddling with the radio, and doing other distracting yet frustratingly adorable things. You couldn't stay irritated for long; he always grew restless when excited. Though when he asked to find a rest stop to take a bathroom break, you argued against it with a justifiable amount of exasperation. "Monsters don't even _need_ to go to the bathroom," you sighed.

"Perhaps not for the same, er...purposes...as humans, but I, ah...well, I admit I'm only looking for an excuse to get out of the car. It's rather cramped." In his defense, no amount of leg room would be enough for him to stretch out comfortably. His knees were squished against the dashboard even with the passenger seat pushed back to its full extent.

But you weren't in the mood for his griping, having been on a traffic plagued highway for three straight hours. "You'll live."

"You're no fun," he pouted, slumping and crossing his arms.

Even if he was being dramatic- and he certainly was- you hadn't meant to kill his vibe. You tossed him the trail mix from your bag of snacks. He immediately sprung back to his cheery self and dug through it for the chocolate pieces, leaving only the peanuts, raisins and pretzels. "You are _literally_ a child."

You turned your head to see him sucking a juicebox dry- how had he even _gotten_ that, you'd put the drinks in the back...?- and holding a pile of M &Ms. A few fell through the hole in his palm and clattered to the floor. "So you _don't_ want a juicebox?"

"I never said that...uh, could you get me one of those?"

You spotted a floating hand as it appeared in your rear view mirror. So _that's_ how he'd reached the juice. The apparition brought you a box of your own, which you gratefully accepted and squeezed like a stressball. These road conditions were enough to drive anyone nuts.

Speaking of nuts, Gaster had taken to timidly pushing the bag of trail mix towards you. A peace offering, it seemed. With the faintest sigh, you let him feed you a pretzel since your hands were occupied with driving and juice drinking. You wouldn't let yourself look at him, because whatever expression he wore was sure to melt the last of your irritation.

You failed, took one glance at his doofy smile as he placed another pretzel in your mouth, and groaned aloud because he was _too damn cute_ to be angry with. Smugly realizing his victory, he was obedient, calm, and quiet for the rest of the ride.

For the ride, only.

The very moment you turned off the ignition and exited the car, Gaster unwedged himself from the other side and scrambled out into the icy air. You snatched his coat from the backseat and tossed it over his shoulders before he could wander too far out of reach. 

"_____, look!" His eyes flicked from the sparsely covered branches to the leaves littering the ground like a carpet. "The rate of chlorophyl decay must be much faster here than at home! Their pigmentation is beautifully vibrant!"

That was nerd talk for 'the leaves are prettier here than in the city'. He was certainly right; rather than the dull browns seen on sidewalks and rooftops, heaps of yellows, oranges, and reds adorned the forest floor. Though there were still a few curled, dead leaves here and there to give that satisfying crunch underfoot.

Gaster's numerous hands gathered a pile of leaves before pulling the two of you on top of it. You made no effort to resist, having fully expected this to happen. He broke your fall with his own body, though the leaf pile would have been soft enough on its own. With a contented sigh that assured you he was unharmed, he laid his arms across your chest and squirmed until situated. "Comfortable?"

"Yeah. There's a leaf on your head, by the way."

"Ah. I've made a friend!"

You stayed that way for who knows how long, watching leaves fall and listening to the few birds who decided to stick around until winter. The activity started to lose its charm when you found yourselves getting cold, your shared body heat failing to keep you from shivering. This wasn't what you'd wanted to show him, anyway. You brushed his 'friend' away before helping him to his feet. "There's something I want you to see, just up the trail a bit."

Curious, he let you take his hand and lead him deeper into the forest. The foliage was thicker here, casting you both in shadows and out of the meager sunlight that forced its way through the clouds. Regardless, you felt considerably warmer from the brisk walk. Gaster, apparently, did not.

He wrapped his coat tighter around himself, shivers wracking his long frame. "It gets c-c-cold up here, d-doesn't it?"

"Really? It's only, like, 40 degrees. I didn't know you were so fussy about the temperature," you snorted. Despite your teasing, you couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit concerned by how much he was shaking.

"Well there was a r-reason why I lived in Hotl-land," he grumbled.

"Wait, so was it really called Hotland just because it's hot?"

"I told you, Asgore is a wonderful king b-but he's r-rubbish at n-na- nam- _naming_ things. G-goodness, it's f-freezing." His already flushed cheeks were turning a worrying shade of purplish blue, as were the tips of his fingers while they dug painfully tight into his arms. Okay, maybe he wasn't just being dramatic.

"Oh, come here you big baby," you sighed, pulling him closer to your level. You began to take off your scarf, but paused when he gently nudged your hand away.

"N-no, you'll g-get c-c-cold." He faced your exasperated look with a stern glare of his own. "It'll soon b-be flu s-season. You c-could get s-sick. M-monsters are immune, I-I'll be f-f-fine."

"It's long enough to share. Now hold still," you instructed, wishing you also had some gloves that might fit him. Your own were far too small for his hands. He begrudgingly complied as you took one end of the lengthy scarf and secured it snugly around his neck, leaving about a three foot tether of fabric between you. "Better?" you asked with a sigh.

"Y-yes, much."

"Alrighty, good. Just don't go too far ahead of me or you'll choke us."

"You'd l-like that, wouldn't you?" His teasing lacked any true bite. He was too enamoured by how warm the wool was, grinning and pulling the scarf up around his face.

You hummed to yourself in approval, hoping it would be enough to keep him warm for now. Though he continued shivering, he seemed considerably happier. You felt like one of those parents with a child leash, keeping their curious kid from wandering off and getting lost. That, or someone taking their overly excited puppy for a walk. Both thoughts made you giggle aloud.

"W-what's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing," you snickered.

"T-tell me!"

"Would you look at that, we're here!"

He closed his mouth in a pout, only to open it again as he gaped at the clearing before him. Towards the center was an enormous willow tree, looking oddly out of place among the drab oaks and aspens. Barely visible between the gaps in its branches was Mt. Ebott, blue and mottled with grey clouds in the distance. "Oh...what is it? It's very...dangly."

"It's called a weeping willow. Pretty, right?"

Gaster approached its limp branches, running one between his fingers and gasping as it tickled his palm. "Yes...but how did you know it was here?"

"I used to come here all the time with...with, um, someone. They meant a lot to me." You could only stare at the ground as you spoke. "It was our spot. Sort of like the place we've claimed at the park, y'know?" His hand tightened around yours the slightest bit, a subtle sign of understanding.

"And they are...gone?"

"Yeah. But that's okay. I've got you now."

"_____..."

You waved off his concern, though not without letting him drape an arm around your shoulders. "I'm good. I didn't bring us here to get all sentimental. Just thought you might think it's neat."

He nodded. You watched him breathe in silence, clearly visible as vapor in the cool air. After a brief contemplation he nodded, violet irises flicking back to your face with a tinge of sympathy. "It's gorgeous, my love. Thank you for sharing this with me."

"Yeah. Glad you like it." A passing breeze made you shiver and inch closer to your boyfriend's side. "Do you think we could visit the Underground sometime? You could show me your favorite places too."

He smiled, looking towards the cloud wreathed mountain on the horizon. "I would like that very much."

The somber change in mood was beginning to unearth some memories. Good memories, and then some bad ones. Best to shove those back down in their mental pit of shame. You took one of Gaster's long, graceful hands and covered it as much as you could with your smaller ones, trying to keep it warm. "I should've brought some gloves for you."

He took the hint easily, bless him. "Nonsense. You are an excellent hand warmer."

The hot chocolate you'd brought was warm as well, somehow untouched by the chill in its metal thermos. The two of you took turns sipping from it, as well as trying to toss bits of popcorn into each other's mouths without missing. The healthy, vegetable packed sandwiches Gaster had made lay forgotten in the basket. But the fruit snacks? They were gone within minutes. The longer you stayed there, laughing every time Gaster's atrocious aim sent popcorn flying at your nose, the less it ached to see that lone tree in the clearing.

He seemed to notice the thoughtful look on your face, and swiftly took action. "Perhaps we should head back. This place must look even lovelier in the spring. We can visit again when it's warm, hm?"

"Yeah. Can't let my Cinny get hypothermia."

"I do not think that is possible without blood."

"Are you sure? I've never seen you this blue."

"That's magic, not blood. I suppose it _can_ freeze, in a sense, but ah...anyway. Shall we, love?"

Though he insisted on teleporting to the car, you didn't want to chance him passing out. The temperature, coupled with his magic-inhibiting meds, might prove to be a disastrous combination. 

Needless to say, he continued to gripe about the cold the entire walk back. You patiently listened to his rant until the vehicle came into view.

All grouchiness gone, he dashed to the side door and pawed at the handle until you fished the key fob from your pocket and unlocked it. Simply being out of the wind took some of the sickly pallor from his face. He turned the heat on full blast once you finally allowed him to touch the controls, shoving his hands in front of the vents until they'd returned to their usual off-white.

As you drove, he watched Mt Ebott in the side mirror until it disappeared around a curve in the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not exactly sure what this ending means. Just trying to give the 'reader' some backstory, I guess.
> 
> On a lighter note! He may prefer cats, but look me in the eyes and say Gaster is not just a giant puppy. Let's go down the list:
> 
> 1) needs constant attention and validation
> 
> 2) hyPER AF like 90% of the time
> 
> 3) the other 10% is for sleep
> 
> 4) will eat literally anything gASTER NO YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE WRAPPER OFF FIRST
> 
> 5) likes to be pet
> 
> 6) gives the cute face when he wants something/is in trouble
> 
> 7) always happy to see you
> 
> 8) will follow you around the house
> 
> 9) literally cannot fall asleep without someone/something to cuddle
> 
> 10) affection 24/7
> 
> 11) etc.


	59. NC - Goopster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Non Canon chapter with Goopy Gaster!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Gasters are cute, though I've gotta admit I have a weakness for goopsters. So soft! Such squish!
> 
> This idea came to me after reading this lovely fic for like, the hundredth time:
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7748056
> 
> Because there need to be more fics about making insecure Gasters feel better!

This was without a doubt the best part of your day: coming home to find your beau by the door and kissing his scars, his cheeks, his not-nose, and watching him fall into a blushy puddle on the floor. He looked much like a fried egg in this state, with his pale head- the most solid part of his body- contrasting against the inky black of his goop. It would be a number of minutes before he could pull himself together, shyly taking your hand and pulling you closer for a kiss in return.

Hugs were a bit difficult, but manageable. His form was similar to that 'oobleck' substance middle schoolers make in science class, though much warmer. If you pressed too lightly, your arms would phase into him, while a tighter hold allowed the contact to happen. Fortunately, tight hugs were perhaps Gaster's greatest weakness. If he was upset? Hug. Worried? Hug. Feeling like garbage? All the hugs.

Judging by the look on his face when you returned home this particular evening, all the hugs would indeed be needed. His permanent smile was strained. If it were possible, you knew his mask-like face would be scrunched into a frown. He latched onto you the moment you stepped inside, literally melting in your arms. "Everything alright?"

He nodded against your shoulder. An obvious lie. But he couldn't exactly communicate when his hands were latched behind your back, and so you gave him some time to collect himself. After a few minutes of silent trembling, he pulled away and nodded for you to follow, leading you down the hall. He hesitated outside the bathroom door, his fidgeting hands beginning to form familiar signs.

_Please...don't be upset._

"Upset about what?" It was then you noticed, while carefully watching his hands, that miniscule specks of dust were present on them. "What happened?! Are you hurt?" You held one closer for a better look, gawking at the fresh cuts across his fingers.

Gaster winced under what he perceived as anger, only slightly resisting your touch and trying to hide his injured hands behind his back. A small whine escaped him, the most vocalization he could manage, but the message was clear. You immediately released him and cradled his face instead, rubbing soothingly over the scar below his left eye. "Hey, it's alright. I'm not mad. We should get you bandaged up, okay?" You turned to enter the bathroom, though before you could even open the door-

_Wait! Don't-_

"C'mon, Gast, how am I gonna get the first aid kit if I don't...oh...oh shit."

The mirror above the sink had been shattered. Pieces of glass littered the floor, with small piles of dust intermingled among the shards.

Gaster wouldn't meet your eyes.  _I tried to clean it up...but it kept getting...stuck in me. I'm so sorry. I'll get us a new one! I promise, I...I didn't mean to..._ He fell into silence, his hands dropping meekly to his sides.

A certain amount of...decorum was needed for this situation. You somehow managed to keep calm as you retrieved a roll of gauze from the cupboard under the sink, gingerly stepping over the largest glass fragments. A few smaller ones crunched beneath your shoes. No wonder Gaster hadn't been able to sidestep them, he didn't even have _legs_. Once his hands were carefully cleaned and wrapped, you ushered him to the couch and wrapped his sunken, blobby form in a blanket. He seemed to almost fuse with the cushions, guiltily hanging his head like a dog who's just torn up the carpet.

Sweeping up the mess could wait. You settled by his side and laid your head on the approximation of his shoulder. The thick, knitted blanket wasn't enough to hide how cold his goop had become.

"I'm not upset, you know. Not in the slightest. It's just a mirror."

No response.

"Accidents happen, right? Nothing to get worked up about."

_...right._

"I'm only sad that you got hurt. My poor Cinny..." Sighing, you took one of his hands and rubbed around the hole in his palm, cautiously avoiding the bandages.

A tremor ran through his body as he pulled out of your gentle grasp. _It...it wasn't an accident._

"Yeah. I know."

This did not seem to surprise him. _And you're still not...?_

"Not at all."

 _Oh_.

You let the silence hang in the air, heavy and foreboding, before breaking it with a quiet, yet confident murmur, "You're beautiful. Always have been."

His expression turned as sour as it could. _That's a lie, and you know it._

"It's not. _You_ know that I've always thought so."

 _But why?_ Even without a voice, desperation was clear in his tone. _How? It doesn't...make any sense..._

How to explain this? He certainly wasn't attractive by conventional means, but your ideals of beauty tended to differ from the norm. "It does to me. I just...I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

 _And how do you see me? All I see is a disgusting mess. That's all_ anyone _sees!_

You'd known he could be bitter, but this was getting out of hand. "Well for starters...your eyes. They're such a gorgeous shade of violet." One look at his face showed those bright, vivid eyes looking straight at you apprehensively. "Your hands..." Damaged as they were, their elegance was not lost even under the clunky bandages. "There's something... _graceful_ about them. Perfect for a pianist." His fingers curled around yours. "And you have such an adorable smile!" The left corner of his mouth raised slightly higher than the right, indicative of a true grin rather than a forced one. "I love your scars, too. Hate them all you'd like, but I think they're your best feature." He shuddered as you ran a finger along the longer of the two, closing his eyes and pressing into your touch.

______..._

"And your soul..." You rested a hand a few inches beneath his head, knowing that the fractured, silvery heart lay there. "It's _breathtaking_. It's still the most incredible thing I've ever seen."

_I...you...oh heavens, ____..._

While you'd spoken, his soft form had begun to heat up to its usual, pleasantly warm temperature. Thick, tar-like tears streaked down his face as you crawled onto him and nuzzled against his chest, not caring that your bottom half was sinking into his lap. On the contrary; it was a cozy, comforting sensation. Timid sniffles were the only sounds he made as he buried his face in your hair, gratefully accepting the contact.

He might not believe you now, or the next time, nor the time after that. But eventually, you were certain to convince him that he was as perfect as you claimed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas chapter should be next!


	60. Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten short months recalled in ten long seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized too late that I'd forgotten to write the Christmas chapter, so here's a New Years/Christmas one instead ^^; As with the Halloween chapter, this occurs a bit before they get a house together.

This holiday was normally a quiet, lonely affair, your only company being a bottle of champagne and a dollar store party popper. Which _totally_ wasn't depressing and dull in the slightest, despite the fact that your friends were out having a blast and had neglected to invite you to the festivities. Their snapchat stories and facebook feeds said it all. Apparently, when everyone said they'd be 'busy' tonight, what they'd really meant was they were going to be busy having tons of fun without _you_. Many New Year's Eves had passed this way.

That is, before the most precious of cinnamon rolls arrived to brighten your life. This year's celebration was full of laughter and excitement, the pair of you having a wonderful time as you awaited midnight together. The massive crowd milling around the city square, something that would normally set you on edge, seemed to be miles away. People were giving you- or rather, the large, deceptively imposing monster at your back- a wide berth, allotting about a foot of personal space on all sides. You felt protected, content and calm in your own little bubble, a pair of warm arms draped over your shoulders and wrapped across your chest to keep you close.

As the final ten seconds began, Gaster stared at the slowly descending disco ball with bright, sparkling eyes. He intended to kiss you on the very first moment of next year, as he'd proudly proclaimed earlier that night. Each number brought a wave of fond memories to forefront of your mind.

_10..._

The day you met your new neighbor in the hallway, nearly squeaking in fright to see the towering monster turn a corner and stare directly at you, though he was just as spooked as you were-

9...

The horrid presentation that led to an even worse panic attack, the only good result of which was getting a hug from your cute mentor for the first time-

8...

The night he'd shakily confessed his feelings, your first kiss, the taste of chocolate on his tongue and stars in his eyes, that lopsided smile never leaving his face-

7...

Dancing in the laboratory, his shoulders too tall to reach so you snuck your arms around his narrow waist, and _good heavens_ how he'd blushed-

6...

Learning of his past, the incident that had cracked his fragile soul, and how utterly _heartbreaking_ it'd been to see him cry-

5...

Touching each others' souls, exposed in the rawest, most vulnerable form possible, yet you'd never felt so safe-

4...

The wedding, a beautiful union of your mutual friends which gave both of you ideas for the future-

3...

Bonding, healing, rebuilding trust after he showed you just how dangerous a monster could be, though you'd known the person who almost took your life wasn't _him_ at all-

2...

Alcohol on his breath and a goofy grin plastered on his face, the party making both of you dizzy in different ways, tending to him the morning after as he bemoaned his own bad habits...

1...

Christmas morning, when you'd woken to find him vacant from his side of the bed. As it turned out, he forced himself up long before sunrise and put his cooking skills to use, preparing just about everything one could want for breakfast. Bacon, eggs, waffles, hashbrowns; though strangely enough, your favorite part was the coffee. He made it just the way you liked it, having memorized your preference to a T.

Soon after that came the exchanging of gifts, an experience that proved to be equal parts delightful and nerve-wracking. He'd appreciate anything you gave him, no matter what it turned out to be, yet you couldn't help but fidget as he gingerly pulled the ribbon off his present with nimble fingers. A gasp, an adorable giggle, and a tight hug followed as he lifted a pink, cat patterned sweater from the box. It had taken you months to complete. He immediately pulled his old one off and replaced it with yours, admiring its texture and near perfect fit. The neck was a bit looser than he normally wore, and you were horrified to see that one sleeve was slightly longer than the other- naturally, Gaster was too awestruck to care about any imperfections.

For the rest of the day, you could've sworn the mistletoe was following you around...it seemed that you were being peppered in kisses beneath every doorway. It didn't take long for you to notice the purple hand holding the sprig in place above your head, though exposing it was out of the question. Why ruin his fun? You certainly weren't complaining.

As evening approached and sent a drafty chill through the apartment, a huge, fluffy blanket kept the two of you warm. The cheesy holiday movie on TV was of little interest compared to Gaster's hands on your hips, the puff ball of his Santa hat tickling your skin as he leaned down to nuzzle your cheek. All in all, it had been a fantastic Christmas.

The bassy thump of fireworks brought you back to the present moment.

"Happy New Year!"

All around the crowd erupted into cheers, though you heard nothing over your racing heartbeat as Gaster swept you off the concrete and into your first kiss of the year.

If this beginning was any indication, the rest of 201X was going to be incredible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting this year the same as I ended the last one: being a sappy fuck :') Thank you all for sticking around this long! Best wishes for 2017, let's hope it doesn't kick everyone's asses like 2016 did lol


	61. One Step Forward...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, some progress is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when this fic had a plot? Hahaha neither do I.
> 
> I still don't know how real engineering works, so this chapter is 99% sci-fi bullshitting :v

For 15 months you'd worked on this frustrating, arduous, seemingly  _impossible_ project. The CORE v2- or, as you had so cleverly nicknamed it, Naruto- began as a small appliance, about the size of a standard washing machine. It'd grown to take up three quarters of the room, though it could be deconstructed into manageable pieces and rebuilt in a new location in the future. Gaster claimed it was a mere fraction of the original's size and power. Seeing as the first CORE took an entire decade and a full team of scientists to complete, he sure wasn't exaggerating.

You were given the honors of flipping the switch, as usual. For a few disappointing moments, you believed this to be yet another failure as the power cut out and died. Gaster was just about to reset the breaker when the machine flickered back to life. The conversion process was visible through the structure's transparent front panel. Tendrils of magic arced upwards from the magma at its center and bounced between each receptor, traveling in a zigzagged path towards the output chamber. By the time these beams reached the thick bundle of wires, which attached to a panel in the wall, they'd been transformed into what looked like tiny lightning bolts. The fluorescent lights overhead came back to life, and at that moment you released a breath you hadn't known you were holding.

The experiment was complete! Naruto- er, the CORE v2 successfully powered the entire laboratory for the rest of the week. There were plenty of celebrations and congratulations from the rest of the staff, complete with a presentation outlining the finished CORE v2's capabilities. Thankfully, Gaster took care of the speaking this time while you stood silently to the side.

But you didn't go unappreciated. He went on a nearly ten minute tangent about how helpful you'd been throughout the whole endeavor, and what an absolute delight you were to work with, and good lord Gaster _calm down-_ if the other scientists hadn't known something was going on between you two, they certainly knew now. 

Not like it mattered much. Bick seemed to be the only one with a stick up his ass concerning workplace relationships. It probably helped that most researchers in the building adored Gaster to bits. Humans and monsters alike had come to think of him as the workplace 'grandpa'. He carried candy in his labcoat pockets and handed them out to anyone he passed in the hallway. He gave sweet, uplifting compliments and brightened everyone's days. Younger, more nervous employees could come to him with concerns if they were afraid to talk to management, though a fair number of older coworkers asked for his advice as well. It was adorable and heartening to see him making so many friends.

This worked in his favor when you two were reassigned, sending Gaster to lead his own team on the other side of the lab and you to-

"Berlin?! The one in _Europe_?"

"It's an optional trip, Mx. _____." Doctor Todorovic, lead researcher and manager of the lab, steepled his fingers and leaned towards you over his desk. "But keep in mind that this is a once in a lifetime chance. You would be assisting in one of our greatest projects to date."

Your boss was offering you a _three month_ business trip to a totally unfamiliar location, as if that wasn't a terrifying concept at all. "It's...not that I don't appreciate this, but why not send Doctor Gaster? He's way more experienced." _And less likely to screw things up_ , your mind finished.

Todorovic hesitated before answering. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but the laws on international travel are... _iffy_ when it comes to monsters. As far as I know, they would require passports, which requires citizenship, and they cannot be a citizen of this country without having lived here a number of years."

"Oh...and they were only freed about a year ago."

"Exactly."

So bringing Gaster with you wasn't an option. A few coworkers you knew had been given the same offer, but none that you could work with so well.

And what would he do without you? He hated sleeping alone, waking up alone, coming home to an empty house...you'd only just moved in together! There were still boxes to unpack!

But this was an amazing opportunity. Not only could it be fun, but also look fantastic on your work record.

You immediately regretted your decision once you saw how Gaster took the news. The moment you said 'three months', his face crumpled.

"Aw, come on. It's only...a fourth of the year?" This was going to make him miserable, wasn't it?

"That's...quite a long time, love. And this 'Berlin' place...it's n-not dangerous, is it?" He looked torn between panicking and bursting into tears.

Before this could get any worse, you took his hands and recaptured his attention. "It's no more dangeorus than any other city. And, I mean, we can still call each other, right? I'll teach you how to use Skype before I leave."

"Right." This was followed immediately by a sniffle. "I wouldn't want you to miss this. It's important to plan for your- your f-future."

"Hey. _You're_ my future. This is gonna suck, and I'll miss you, but I've got to think of my career too."

At last, he smiled. It wasn't much, just a tiny one, but it destroyed a smidgen of your guilt. "I know," he admitted, releasing one of your hands to wipe at his eyes. "It's just...so sudden!"

"I wasn't expecting it, either. Buuuut think of it this way. German chocolate is the _best_. I'll bring some home for you."

"Oh...I-I do like chocolate." His voice, having briefly lifted in excitement, fell back into a mumble. "But I like _you_ more."

"Aw, c'mon. Don't get pouty, I'm not leaving yet."

"Then when?"

"In two weeks."

In an instant, your face was squished into his sweater as he pulled you into a back-breaking hug. "That's too soon!"

"Gaster. Gast, I need to breathe."

This came out muffled, for obvious reasons, but he understood enough to loosen his arms a tad. He slumped and let his chin fall on your head. "I wish you had at least discussed it with me first."

"It was a spur of the moment thing. But- yeah, you're right. No turning back now, though." He might be upset now, but it wouldn't be long before he sprung back into his cheerful self. All it would take was some kisses, compliments, and an hour long cuddle to bring him back around.

And...and then you'd be gone, he'd be alone...and then what? How would he handle ninety days in a quiet house?

No use worrying about it now. It's not as if Gaster was _that_ dependent on you for happiness.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, we explore the flaws of this relationship. I've been meaning to do this arc for a while, but I kept, uh...neglecting actual plot chapters ^^; Fluff is so much easier to write. 
> 
> Sorry if any of y'all are already from Europe/Germany/Berlin? I literally only chose that because of the chocolate bit.


	62. Three Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not easy to say goodbye.

"Are you sure you have everything packed?"

You zipped up your suitcase for the final time. It could barely shut with all the clothes and supplies stuffed inside. "Yup. Went down the list, everything's here."

Gaster nodded in approval. "Good." There was something unreadable in those violet irises as they flicked between you and the overpacked suitcase. He slid off the edge of the bed and sat beside you on the carpet, staring at his twitchy hands. "The house will be quiet, once you're gone."

"I know." Your throat had gone dry. Silence hung thickly in the air, until you finally blurted the problem that'd been plaguing you all week. "Are you mad at me?"

The question seemed to catch him by surprise. Rather than answering right away, he took a minute or two to consider it. "I wouldn't say  _mad_...but I'm not happy either. You never even discussed the matter with me."

"Gast. I think I'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

"I-I'm not trying to imply that you can't-!" He stopped himself, taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts. "I'm...hurt. It feels like you didn't consider how this would affect me at all."

"I did!" Had you? "...briefly. I should have thought about it more. I'm sorry."

Gaster shrugged. The expression on his face- or rather the _lack_ of an expression- was unfamiliar. Unnerving, even. "Nothing we can do now," he sighed.

"I could always cancel. Make up some excuse, say I caught the flu or something..."

He held up a hand to stop you. "No...this is important to you. I can tell." He smiled as he always did when trying to hide something. "I'm only being selfish."

"Nah, you're never selfish. You're the most generous person I know."

"I would argue, but...there's no time. Come now. Don't want you to miss your flight."

He followed you outside, a cloud of floating hands grabbing your bags and dragging them to the taxi. Gaster was quiet as he helped you load the suitcases into the trunk, quiet as he held the door open for you, quiet as he squished himself into the cab and sat turned away, staring out the window. The driver barely spared him a glance, though you did notice his eyes lingering on the space between you and the brooding monster. Anyone could tell something was up. But he made no comment, only asking for an address before turning his attention to the road.

This didn't happen often. This...discordance. It was so rare that you and Wingdings were out of sync, which only made moments like these all the more awkward. You lightly cleared your throat to clear the air.

"Couldn't we just teleport there?" This taxi smelled like cigarette smoke and fast food grease.

"Given how strict airport officials are about security, I don't believe they'd simply let it slide if we appeared out of thin air."

"Ah. True."

The conversation died there. What else was there to say? You'd already apologized, useless as it was; and Gaster had already turned back to the window. His leg bounced as much as it was able to in the cramped compartment. Though you couldn't see his face, he was probably biting his lower lip. Anxious. No surprise there.

Once at the airport, you paid the driver and slung the strap of your carry-on across your shoulder. Gaster refrained from using his extra hands this time. A wise choice, considering the crowd. Someone might notice the obvious magic and try to make a scene. Instead, he dragged your suitcase by hand, trudging after your quick steps as if heading to his own funeral.

There was a bit of a wait before your flight would be ready to depart. You'd left early, just in case. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but you now realized it was only extending this unusual silence. Gaster's hands were folded neatly in his lap. He looked at everything in the general vicinity- the high ceilings, the overpriced food court, the seats across from him- everything but you.

At least, until you looked up from your phone and caught him staring with heartbreak plain across his face. It went stone cold the moment you made eye contact, and he pretended to be focused on something over your shoulder.

Right. Enough of this. "Hey. C'mere."

Gaster squinted suspiciously. "Why?"

"Please...I can't leave with... _this_..." You waved your hands at the bubble of discomfort this situation had created. "This _thing_ we're having right now. Can't we just end on a good note?"

His mask cracked. "I hate the sound of that. We're not _ending_..."

"Yeah, sorry, shitty phrasing on my part. We're...taking a break, is all."

"That sounds even worse."

"Okay. Right. We're going to be separated by thousands of miles and a lot of ocean, but we'll still be, uh...together in spirit. Plus we'll talk on the phone a lot, and I'll text you every night, and..." Your eyes had started to burn. "...fuck..."

Wasting no more precious time, he wrapped an arm around your waist, using his free hand to take one of yours. An acceptable show of affection for the public setting, yet it wasn't nearly enough.

Still. The silence wasn't so bad this time.

You rested your head against his shoulder, taking full advantage of your dwindling minutes together. Leaving had sounded so easy before you had to face it.

Gaster seemed to be having similar thoughts. The hand that enveloped yours felt shaky, and squeezed much too tight. His breath was quick, increasing in pace with every new announcement over the loudspeaker. When the time came for your departure, he stopped breathing altogether.

_Flight 233, now boarding._

Gaster stood gracefully, holding out a hand to help you up as well. He was putting on such a brave face, not shedding a single tear, and it hurt to know it was for your sake alone. The moment he was home alone, you knew he would break. And for once, you wouldn't be there to comfort him.

You took the offered hand and kept it. "I'll call you when we land."

"I look forward to it." The strained half-smile he wore grew soft, more sincere. "Have a safe flight. I'll be thinking of you."

"I will. And I'll think of you too. All the time."

He was exerting visible effort not to rush forward and hold you back, keeping you within reach. His grip on your hand tightened. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you to the stars and back."

"I love you times infinity."

That pulled another smile from him. "Oh, now that's not fair! You can't skip straight to infinity!"

"Normally I wouldn't' but, y'know. Time constraints." The loudspeaker repeated its message. "Sorry. Gotta go. Make sure you take care of yourself, alright?" Your hands separated. Gaster held his like it'd been burned, watching you roll your suitcase up the ramp and into the plane's boarding zone. You lost sight of him past the doorway. That final expression was etched into your memory. For that fraction of a millisecond, his defenses were in ruins.

When you reached the tunnel leading up to the plane's main entrance, you peeked through a window to check on him. He was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much going on in this chapter except minor discomfort. It's not often we see these two getting upset with each other, but it happens. Though it seems like Gast's seriously upset this time. Who knows! :)


	63. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day one and you're already missing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I forgot to mention this before, but Ammy has made another beautiful piece of art to celebrate 1000 kudos! ;w;
> 
> http://aminoapps.com/p/qk7t1l

Pale, palmless hands skittered over your arms, tracing senseless patterns on your skin. His breath was warm and quick against your temple, and you caught a glimpse of those sparkling violet eyes, gazing at you with so much adoration it made your heart ache. He whispered your name like a prayer before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Then more, to your cheek, nose, and lips. He was love and beauty and light, everything that was right in your life.

"Will you stay?" he asked suddenly, a lifetime of loneliness briefly darkening the shimmer in his eyes.

You replied without hesitation, lovingly tracing the scar above his eye. "Of course."

A lopsided smile graced his features at your answer. Of course you would. You were his dearest, his beloved _____, and he was your cinnamon roll. Silly as it was, he'd treasured the nickname from the first time you spoke it. His heart fluttered at every endearment you lavished on him: sweet, precious, adorable, beautiful- that one was undoubtedly his favorite. _No one_ had ever called him beautiful before. Yet you said it often, and so casually, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

You closed your eyes as he pulled your head to his chest, tender as ever, your bodies pressed close as they could be.

The aura of comfort fell apart when his gentle sigh turned into a whimper, then a ragged sob. Your head snapped up to look at him, shocked, as the towering monster crumpled to his knees. Trembling, spindly hands gripped the hem of your shirt, as if you'd tried to leave. "Please," he begged, voice low and raw, his terror palpable. "Don't go!"

"I'm not!" But you were. Though you fought with all that you could, your legs were moving of their own accord, carrying you away.

He tried to crawl after you and stumbled, reaching desperately. _Screaming_  for you to come back and love him again. Your body wouldn't obey. Quickly losing hope, he let himself fall to pieces, all while you frantically tried to turn yourself around. Your legs kept walking.

You awoke to a soft ' _bing'_ as the seatbelt light flashed on overhead. It took you a few confusing moments to recognize your surroundings. There was a crackle of static from the speaker above your seat, then the pilot announced that the plane would be landing soon. One glance out the window confirmed this; you were hundreds of feet above rolling green hills and twisting rivers. In the distance lay the airport, and beyond that, the city. Berlin looked gorgeous even from this distance.

It would have been better with Gaster by your side. Not even ten hours since you'd left and he was already consuming your thoughts. The worry was made worse by your ominous dream. In reality, he'd been unnaturally calm about your departure.

 _Too_ calm. There was no way he hadn't shattered the moment he was alone. You could imagine him trudging through the house, collapsing into bed and curling as tight as the too-short mattress would allow, bawling into a pillow. _Your_ pillow, since it retained your scent. Clover would hop up beside him with a concerned mewl, and he'd pull the tiny cat close for comfort. Lavender tears would drip into her fur, the pillowcase, through the holes in his hands, and he'd wish you were there to hold him and kiss it all better.

He must be miserable.

You halted this train of thought before it brought you to tears as well. There was nothing you could do about it now.

Instead, you busied yourself with a travel brochure. It stated that there was a six hour difference in time zones. Seeing as you were scheduled to land at 8:15 am, Gaster must be fast asleep back home.

Or perhaps he couldn't rest without someone to keep him warm and was lying in bed, wide awake. Crying. Suffering. Heartbroken.

This was going to be the longest trip of your life.

Maybe you weren't giving him enough credit. He was a grown, capable adult, and had managed perfectly well for over three decades without you.

...which ended in a tragic, agonizing death, followed by six years of psychological torture in the Void. Unlikely to happen again, yet the thought made your blood run cold.

You would have called him right then and there, but the pilot made a second announcement asking everyone to turn off all devices. Sighing, you stuffed your phone back in your bag as the plane steadily descended towards the runway. Clouds gave way to a wispy, low hanging fog towards the ground. It clung mostly to the riversides, giving the landscape a ghostly aura in the low morning light. The pilot cheerfully announced that the temperature today would hang around 4 degrees Celsius. Or, 39 degrees Fahrenheit. Good thing you'd brought a jacket in your carry-on.

As soon as you stepped off the end of the boarding ramp, you pulled out your phone. The loading icon in the corner spun as it tried to find a signal. You shifted from foot to foot, anxious to make this terribly important call. It would only be 2am back home, but you'd promised to let him know as soon as you landed.

Someone called your name. Reluctantly, you looked up from the screen to see Delainey, another researcher from your lab, beckoning you over. He smiled invitingly, hazel eyes crinkling. "C'mon! We'll miss orientation!"

Huffing a sigh, you joined the rest of the group. There were six of you: Delainey, Hynson, Gable, Tabb, Yuuko, and yourself. All considered experts in your respective fields, all valuable contributors to this project. Whatever it was. No one knew what it woukd entail, apart from magic.

Yuuko was the only one you'd spoken to for more than a few sentences. The soft spoken chemist was one of Gaster's favorite 'grandchildren', though he would never say that in front of the others. She was matronly, in a way, with a very dry sense of humor. 

Her sharp eyes flicked from your face to your phone, which you had returned to staring at. "Waiting on someone?" she asked quietly.

"Gotta let G- um, my boyfriend know that I'm alright." You bit your lip, hoping she didn't notice the near slip.

She did, of course, and smiled nonchalantly. "You might not get a chance until this-" She waved flippantly towards the others- "is done with. They have us on a tight schedule. Perhaps just send a text, for now?"

"Yeah...it's something." And possibly not enough, considering the tension at the airport.

It had been unsettling for a number of reasons. Gaster was mercurial, sensitive, and wore his heart on his sleeve at all times. He tried so very hard to mask negative emotions, but you knew him well enough to see right through it.

Usually. This time, if only for a few seconds, he'd seemed...cold. Numb. There was always some sort of emotion in those lopsided amethyst eyes, whether it was joy or anxiety or pain, but this time, in that brief moment before he disappeared...there was nothing. They were hollow.

It filled your guts with lead to realize that this was a sign you'd truly wounded him. Sure, you two had plenty of arguments over these past fifteen months, as all couples do. Brief spats and petty snark-fights, but they were always followed by sincere apologies and saccharine displays of affection. This time, there was no closure. Only that strained attempt at playfullness before you rushed off to catch your flight. Maybe you should have made a bigger show of it. Embarrassment be damned, you should have flung yourself into his arms and refused to let go until he smiled again. Now he felt hurt, and abandoned, and who knew what else?

Yuuko's hand landed on your shoulder. "_____. Still there?"

The chemist's cool expression was tinged with concern. You formed a quick lie. "Yeah...sorry, just tired. Jet lag I guess."

Judging by the slight lowering of her brow, she didn't buy it one bit. But she simply nodded. "I see. You'll have a chance to rest on the ride to the lab."

"Cool." You felt nauseous.

"Oh, and _____?"

"Hm?"

Her smile was nearly a smirk. "Tell Wingdings I said hello, won't you?"

You nodded jerkily, trying to suppress the blush that was surely rising to your cheeks. At last, your phone found a signal. Only two bars, but it would be enough for a quick text. Your fingers hovered anxiously as you tried to think of an adequate message.

 _Just landed, everything's good. I'll call as soon as I get a chance. They're taking us straight to orientation. You're probably asleep right now anyway. I hope so. Make sure you get enough rest, okay? Gonna be thinking about you a lot. I love you_ ❤❤❤

_Btw yuuko says hi_

Would it be enough? It should make him smile, at least. The more mushy and over the top it was, the more he'd love it. You added some extra emojis for good measure.

Right as you tapped send, a bus pulled up to the curb. "Must be our ride!" Delainey beamed. Gable, a six foot four slab of muscle and scowls, grunted in agreement. You followed the others on board and took a seat next to Yuuko.

She stood to give you the space by the window, "Since you're tired," and made no comment when you chose not to take a nap. Instead you stared outside, watching the vast expanse of green give way to bustling traffic and gorgeous architecture.

Thousands of miles across the sea, an exhausted monster finally slipped into a peaceful doze after reading your text message.


	64. Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change in perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized recently that I almost never write chapters from Gaster's point of view. Which makes sense, since it's a reader insert, but our dear reader is only going to be doing so many interesting things during this arc, so...here's a peek into Gast's mind for once.

He didn't particularly like waking up alone.

Scratch that, he _hated_ it. He'd been forced to endure that torture for every miserable day of his life before _they_ came along and brightened it- his dearest, his beloved, his very reason living- but now they were gone, far across the sea. The bed was cold. His heart felt empty.

Fully aware that he was being a drama queen, yet unwilling to acknowledge it, Gaster let himself languish under the blankets a few minutes longer. If _____ were here, they'd certainly wrap their tiny arms around him, maybe give him a kiss or two...maybe more. He closed his eyes, sighing wistfully at the thought. His pillow served as a temporary stand-in as he hugged it tightly.

Things really weren't so bad. He'd grown spoiled, he realized, far too accustomed to having constant company. Doctor Starling said this separation should be good for him.

"You've been needing some time apart from _____, anyway." Seeing his pout, the bird monster had sighed and adjusted her glasses. "I'm sorry, Wing, but it's not healthy to be so dependent on someone else for happiness. I know this will be hard for you. That's why I'm here."

Gaster had muttered something incomprehensible, but the meaning was clear.

"Wingdings. You are being extremely childish right now."

He let out a petulant whine, which only furthered her point.

"Alright. I see you're finished talking for now." Starling glanced at the clock on the wall. "We're nearly at the end of our session, anyway. Same time next week?"

Gaster nodded, eager to get home where he could continue moping in private. _____ had only been gone a week, and they called him every day- often more than once, using every second of their free time just for him- yet he already missed them terribly. Life just wasn't the same.

It wasn't so bad at work. He'd been given a new group of delightful young scientists to guide, acting as a mentor and team leader. Hopefully the upper management would let _____ join it upon their return. 

And it wasn't so bad out in public, though he received more stares. His precious human would usually glare down anyone who looked at him funny. Feeling his heart swell at the thought of their protectivness, Gaster failed to notice one such person peering at him from across the street as he walked home from Starling's office. He did feel a sudden prickling at the back of his neck, as if something were wrong, but quickly returned to his previous train of thought.

Where it was _really_ bad was at home, where everything was quiet. He hated the silence. It was bearable so long as his mind was occupied, whether with work or a good book, but it drove him insane when there were no distractions. Falling asleep proved to be almost impossible. Normally he would focus in on the sound of _____'s gentle breathing; or, if he were close enough to their chest, their heartbeat. It was a small, subtle comfort that he hadn't known he needed until it was gone.

He hated the silence almost as much as darkness. Both were too familiar, they reminded him of-

Well. That place.

Though it's been a year and a half since he left the Void, the memories remain fresh. Starling said that in time, it may all seem like just a bad dream.

But he doubted that. It felt like just yesterday that he was trapped in that darkness, both numb and aching, lost and nonexistent.

 _No_ , he scolded himself, gritting his teeth and scowling at nothing in particular. _You are only working yourself up. Knock it off._

Breathing deeply, he did as Starling had told him innumerable times and imagined his happy place. It's his childhood home, a tiny, water-damaged shack on the edge of Waterfall. He thought of his adorable baby brother and how the house often smelled like pancakes, of the squeaky floorboards and his cramped, light pink bedroom. A place that no longer existed anywhere but his memories. He wished the building stood, mostly so he could take _____ there and show them where he grew up. They'd like that.

The watcher across the road started to follow Gaster's path, keeping their distance and blending in with the crowd.

Cheerfully oblivious, the monster felt the tension leave his shoulders as he finally reached his house. At least it wouldn't be completely empty. Mortimer and Clover awaited him inside, though only the latter was likely to greet him.

He hummed as he walked inside, calling for the cats. The stranger outside pulled out their phone to take a picture of the house before heading down the sidewalk.

All things considered, Gaster thought he was coping fairly well. He prided himself on the fact that he'd only cried four times since _____'s departure. The first was the day they left, after he returned from the airport. The second was the next morning, when he awoke without his human in his arms, then once more before going to sleep that night. The final time was after watching the movie 'Up'. He decided that the last situation didn't count, as the film would have had him blubbering regardless of whether _____ was there or not. He giggled to himself, feeling rather silly for being in such a slump earlier that day. Maybe it was the way Clover bonked her head against his hand, or that the chirping birds kept the house from being dead silent, but his mood had done a total 180.

The stranger sent the picture in a group text. Replies came quickly, and they began forming a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	65. NC - Visiting Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster visits after an incident that sends you to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for a certain frequent commenter. Your feedback and cute art always brighten my day, and I'm hoping this can do the same for you ^^

The room spun as you awoke, the remaining traces of anesthesia leaving your head in a whirl. For what might've been minutes or hours, you could only focus on the scratchy sensation of thin bedsheets and a faint smell of rubbing alcohol. You probably drifted in and out of sleep a few times; it was hard to tell. At one point a nurse entered and gave you a cup of yogurt, though that might've been a dream. Eventually you managed to grab onto consciousness and hold it, getting a better grasp on your surroundings. It was a simply furnished hospital room. A sink sat in a cubby on the far wall. Above it were some shelves with rubber gloves and antiseptic rubs, and to its left a whiteboard where your designated nurses had written the caretaking schedule for your case. Seeing as the clock said it was currently half past two, and the last visit had been at one fifteen, the yogurt 'dream' must have been real.

Nothing hurt quite yet. The procedure must've gone well, then. You let your head sink back onto the pillow, closing your eyes. All was quiet save for the gentle humming and beeping of the monitors hooked up to your arm.

That is, until a familiar voice warbled from down the hall outside your room. Fuzzy as your head was, it wasn't hard to recognize who _that_ belonged to. He was asking a nurse at the help desk for directions. Grinning, you counted the seconds it took him to arrive.

One. Frantic footsteps approaching down the corridor.

Two. Now you could make out his uneven panting as he hurried your way.

Three. The door slammed open, and Gaster took a brief moment to brace his hands on the doorframe while he caught his breath. Seeing you awake, he hurried over and dropped to his knees by your beside.

His voice was rough, his eyes rimmed in a dark mauve. He must have been crying. "_____! Are you in pain? C-can you feel all your fingers?! Oh g-goodness, I came as soon as I could, but they'd already t-taken you into the operating room and they w-wouldn't let me go with but I _swear_ I would have if the nurses didn't restrain m-" He broke off with a choked gasp as he fully took in the damage, fresh tears welling in his eyes. "I-I...I-m so sorry I ever let this happen, you didn't deserve to-"

"Gast," you rasped, resting a hand on one of his to stop his tirade. "I'm fine. No pain, the medicine's taking care of that. And it's not your fault. Promise."

His lower lip trembled as he stared at you like a kicked puppy, firmly squeezing your hand. "B-but I should have-"

"No. Shush. Nothing you could've done. It was just an accident."

Sighing, Gaster finally let his tense shoulders fall. He dropped his gaze to your joined hands and managed a smile. "I-I suppose the important thing is that you are alive. And the wounds will heal...r-right?"

"Yeah. Gonna be a while, but I'll be okay."

"How long?" he asked, pupils shrunken with fear flicking back up to your face. Though he was trying to maintain his smile, worry threatened to overtake it. You could practically _feel_ the fear through his touch.

Squinting, you tried to recall what the doctor had said. Eventually you shrugged and yawned instead. "I don't remember."

His expression grew soft, and he raised your hand to his lips to brush a kiss across the back of it. "Don't worry about it, love. Just rest. I'll be here when you wake."

"Okay. Oh, and Cinny?"

"Yes, my dearest?" he pressed your palm against his cheek, at last relaxing under the touch.

"You don't have to kneel on the floor. There's a chair." You pointed to it, as if it was difficult to find in its place two feet away from him.

The last thing you saw before drifting off was the flustered blush that overtook his face. He settled into the chair and waited for you to fall asleep.

True to his word, he was there when you awoke. That day, and the next day, and every day after. You started to worry if he was even going home to sleep, or getting any hours in at work.

When questioned, he waved off your concerns and gingerly placed a gift in your lap. He'd been bringing you presents all week, things to lift your spirits and make the healing process a little less grueling. Flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals decorated the previously bland room thanks to his efforts. "They've given me a brief vacation, considering the circumstances. And," he added, voice lowering, "As I would be terribly difficult to replace if let go from my position, they wouldn't _dare_ doing otherwise."

"No one keeps you from your human, huh?" you chuckled, unwrapping the present.

" _No one_." Any trace of severity left his face as he watched you gasp at his latest offering: some new books and a box of chocolates (which you weren't allowed to eat yet, nurses orders, but would gladly enjoy another time). He promised to bring something you'd be allowed to eat next time. With him around, maybe these next few weeks wouldn't be so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been a patient in a hospital before, so I hope this is somewhat accurate ^^;


	66. NC - Snow Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wonderful Didyamissme requested a Christmas chapter! I can't promise this means the fic is back on, but there's a chance? Let's just see how things go ^^

The most interesting- and in your opinion, enjoyable thing about the snow was how it muted all sound, turning an otherwise bleak and boring landscape into a glittering, blissfully silent slice of paradise. You could hardly feel the chill through your thick down coat, and the lazily fluttering snowflakes dusted your hair and gloves for only moments before melting away. Streetlamps were the sole source of light, as the clouds covered any stars that might be out, though its reflection off the snow made the sky look bright as day. Something about the quiet and calm said that this was where you were meant to be.

Poor Gaster, on the other hand, was downright miserable. He had stated no less than five times how much he despised the cold, the snow, the entire concept of winter as a whole. You were going to change that today.

If there was one thing that could sway this stubborn monster, it was food. The scents of peppermint and cinnamon sugar were already strong on the wind, drifting from the marketplace only a few blocks downtown . You hadn't told Gaster where the two of you were headed, relishing the idea of a surprise, but a gaily painted wooden sign to your left gave it away.

"Christmas Village...?" He peered down at you, all flushed cheeks and tightly bundled scarves, and awaited an answer.

You only smiled, for the moment, and took his hand to lead him forward. There was a slight tremble in his hand as it curled quickly into yours, seeking warmth. Even thick, woolen gloves and layers consisting of an undershirt, a sweater, and an overcoat offered him no resistance to the weather. A cup of cocoa should fix that right up.

You turned a corner, having at last arrived. Gaster's eyes grew wide in unrestrained wonder; he smiled, brightly and openly, the tips of his fangs glinting in light tinged red, green, and gold. You resisted the urge to kiss him and instead let the scene set in. Humans and, surprisingly, a decent number of monsters milled between the merchants' stalls with shopping bags in hand. Multicolored lights were strung everywhere- between stands, around lampposts, along walkway arches and jewelry displays. The colors reflected so perfectly in Wingdings' violet eyes. You almost told him so, but he was already tugging you along to the cloesest vendor.

Moments later, he walked away nibbling on an enormous, buttery pretzel and sipping from a paper cup of hot chocolate. The whipped cream left a white 'mustache' across his upper lip, which you opted not to point out. Better to wait and see if he noticed it on his own.

He did not. Gaster was too busy gaping at each display case, admiring the gorgeously crafted, handmade goods their sellers offered. "See anything you like?" you asked, finally wiping his face clean with a napkin. He resisted your efforts only briefly before going still and sighing, resigned to his fate. Once you were finished, he batted your hand away- only to immediately retake it and twine his fingers with yours. "It's all so pretty! Though I am rather partial to these." He lovingly picked up a pair of fur lined, leather gloves. "But I shouldn't. They're much too expensive."

"Mhm, they sure are." The moment his back was turned, you bought the gloves and placed them in the oh-so-convenient satchel you just happened to bring along. _Too expensive_. Says the guy who's spent hundreds, if not _thousands_ indulging in your every desire. If he wouldn't treat himself, you'd just have to do it instead.

Wingdings led you along the cobblestone paths, his long legs carrying him so quickly that you were forced to jog to keep up. Bouncing between stands, shops, and elaborate light fixtures; buying sweets and feeding you bread pudding off a spoon; giving you back-breaking hugs and letting out gasps of delight whenever something new and shiny caught his attention- he was having the time of his life, and you couldn't be more proud for playing a part in it. If he was bothered by the cold, he didn't mention it, the only signs of discomfort being how he would occasionally nuzzle his wind-chilled face into your hair, or slip his shaking hands in the pockets of your coat.

It wasn't long before you reached the end of your adventure, coming to the city park. But where one journey ended, another began.

"Have you ever gone sledding?"

Gaster blinked owlishly from behind his scarf, then shook his head. 

 "Well, you're about to. C'mon!"

Before he had time to protest, you dragged him by the arm to the top of a hill. Children and teens had already gathered there with their sleds and snowboards. A few seemed to recognize you; neighbors, probably, as well as a few of Frisk's friends. They happily let you have a turn on the slope while Gaster watched first in interest, then in horror. He hid his face behind trembling hands as you dipped downward and out of sight, peeking between his fingers to make sure you made it safely to solid ground. It wasn't that fast, really. The hill fell at a gradual angle, making for an easygoing ride. Not the most exciting, but it was perfect for a first-timer.

You trudged back up through the path you'd carved in the snow, shoving the borrowed sled in Gaster's hands. "Alright, you weenie. Your turn."

He looked helplessly from you, to the sled, to the kids watching with excited eyes, until his shoulders sank in defeat and he squished himself into the too-small seat. "If I don't make it, tell Clover I love her."

"You'll be fine," you snorted, and gave him a light nudge. Wingdings squeaked in terror as the sled moved an entire inch forward. "Just try not to move or you might slip off. I broke my arm doing this, once."

"W-what-?!"

"Okay bye!" With another, harder push, down he went, shrieking the whole way. It was over almost as soon as it began, and still he kept screaming, only going quiet once he heard you snicker from the top of the hill. 

He'd gone as pale as he could get, and for a moment you worried that you'd gone too far. But then he laughed, standing and dragging the sled back up the hill with only a slight wobble in his step.

You took the sled and set it aside, grasping both his hands. They'd finally stopped shaking. "You alright?"

"Wonderful!" He was bouncing on his heels again, always a good sign. "That was fun! I thought it would be scary- well, it was- but I think I could do it again! Perhaps with some adjustments..."

"Adjustments?"

"The acceleration wasn't ideal, so it could use a bit of a boost-"

"Wingdings, no."

"All it would take is-"

"I'm not letting you strap rockets to some kid's sled."

For once, his sad puppy eyes didn't work. It took tremendous effort not to cave and simply let him have his way, but explosives were just a tad too far.

Still. He did look pretty bummed. Buying him another pretzel turned that around in an instant. 

And he had long forgiven you by the time your evening ended back at home. The two of you curled up in front of the fireplace to soak up the heat. Gaster's snazzy new gloves were tucked away in a closet to be wrapped...later, when he wasn't so busy falling asleep with his head in your lap. You rubbed his flushed cheeks until the pallid blue became his natural lavender. He sleepily nuzzled into your touch, occasionally mumbling nonsense as he dreamt about who knows what. Rocket sleds, probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's not too short! Or too cheesy ^^;


End file.
